


A Trail of Notes

by The_Mysterious_Crimson_Lotus



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon Compliant, Developing Relationships, F/M, Oblivious Naruto, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, more or less
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 105,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24702877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mysterious_Crimson_Lotus/pseuds/The_Mysterious_Crimson_Lotus
Summary: At his lowest, Naruto can always depend on one person to have his back. Someone who makes him feel like he matters, that he can do it.Trouble is, he has no idea who it is.Alternatively titled "Guardian Angels", this is the story of how, from their days in the Academy up to adulthood, Naruto and Hinata, driven by mutual admiration, help each other in the only way they feel they can: from a distance. Yet no matter how far apart they are, there will always be a trail of notes guiding them to one another.Disclaimer: Based on the story and characters created by Masashi Kishimoto.Updates every week
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 189
Kudos: 227





	1. Discovery  (Academy Days)

**Author's Note:**

> I had so many ideas and headcanons that I wanted to turn into a fanfic, but I ultimately went with this. I've tried to keep it canon compliant so that you could imagine it inserted alongside the main story, but there are some things from canon that I ignored because they were only meant as exposition or explanations of the world for us (as dumb as Naruto is, I refuse to believe that he had no idea what chakra was until after he became a genin). I've partially written this to mature as a writer, as I do enjoy writing but never seem to find the time to get better, but I've also made this because it's a tragedy how few Naruhina fanfics there are on this site nowadays. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Edited and revised 20/06/20
> 
> Thank you zoero ([buf309](https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/2509148)) for the cover art!

He’s not sure when he started getting the notes. 

He rarely used the shelf under his desk (except for maybe hiding the occasional snack). As such, when he snuck his hand underneath to put away a rather crudely drawn portrait of Iruka-sensei, he made a startling discovery.

The bottom of his shelf was covered in paper. 

What seemed like a few dozen small slips of paper were scattered around the compartment, each cleanly cut into even little squares and rectangles. Confused, he grabbed one at random and slipped it out. While Iruka-sensei droned on about the Third Shinobi World War in the front of the class, he leaned down to look at it, and realized that there was writing on it — in neat, elegant handwriting. It was in orange ink, which fascinated and excited him, but as he started reading it, he became even more confused. It was advice for shurikenjutsu: the problems with his stance, why it was hindering him, little adjustments for improving. He stared at it, dumbfounded. Vaguely, he realized that it was referring to a particularly nasty class on projectiles last week where he ended up getting yelled at for missing his target and almost killing Ino. He wasn’t exactly told where he went wrong -- he never was -- and, though Iruka-sensei did take pity on him and offer him extra time to practice, he never really understood what he was doing. 

His eyebrows furrowed. Did someone really decide to actually try and help him? And, instead of telling him directly, wrote it down and hid it? He pulled out another note. This one was a critique on his henge and had helpful suggestions on how to improve his chakra control, and seemed to be from a long past lesson where they had to transform into Third (they hadn’t tried him for a while as Naruto’s attempts were deemed too disrespectful).

He took another one. Advice on chakra control.

Another. Little tricks for solving maths problems. 

Another. Kunai maintenance suggestions. 

Another. Tips on the substitution jutsu. 

Another. A message with “you can do it!” written on--

“Naruto! What are you doing there?” Iruka-sensei suddenly called out. Naruto’s head jerked upwards, and he noticed that his teacher had stopped his lecture, and was now looking at him with a familiar expression, partly exasperated, partly curious. However, that look was soon overtaken by concern as Iruka noticed that Naruto was shaking slightly. 

“Is everything okay?” Iruka-sensei asked, in a voice far softer than he’d usually use for the prankster. At this, the rest of the class, surprised at this change of tone, turned and stared in interest as the usually energetic boy looked pale and out of sorts. 

“Yep! Everything’s great! Just confused over this weird jutsu I was reading about, ya know!” Naruto quickly threw on a cheery smile and added a nervous laugh for effect, rubbing the nape of his neck. While keeping his grin, he looked around the class defiantly, as though daring them to continue questioning him. The other students simply groaned and turned away. When he wasn’t sleeping or wrecking havoc, Naruto spent class showing off or yelling about all the awesome ninjutsu he’d learn to become Hokage. It was usual behaviour and most reacted normally to it.

Sasuke muttered about ‘brain dead losers’ and turned back his attention.

Kiba snickered at the prankster as he continued to flip through his manga, Akamaru lounging comfortably on his head.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, still suspicious over just how shaken Naruto had looked, before turning and laying his head back on his desk. 

Only one student, who had been watching Naruto the whole time from behind and noticed exactly what he was reading, kept looking at him, a horrified expression on her face. 

Iruka-sensei looked critically at Naruto, still looking incredibly suspicious.

“Alright everyone, now that you know more about the Hidden Waterfall Incident, I want you all to draw up a table comparing the tactics of both sides and their effectiveness, just like we did last week with the Iron-Blood Campaign. I’m expecting these in by next lesson, no excuses!” he barked out cheerfully, to collective groans and muttered complaints from the class. Naruto, though, was quiet for once, merely staring down at his lap. Now Iruka was really worried. The boy was usually so loud. “Naruto, I want to have a word with you outside.” 

Still looking shaken, the student allowed himself to be pulled out with less struggle than was normal, though that’s not to say that he didn’t attempt to smack his sensei with as much force as possible (an action which was swiftly retaliated against). Standing with his arms crossed, huffing about abusive teachers, Naruto allowed Iruka-sensei to study him closely. 

“Naruto, what’s wrong? And don’t try to deny anything, I know that something happened,” he said in his gentlest voice, kneeling down to look at the boy at eye level.

“Eh? Sensei, I swear, nothing’s wrong! Like I said, I was just, uh, shocked at how many ninja died in the, uh, that Incident you were talking about! That’s it, ya know!” the student kept chuckling, but his teacher was not amused.

“Oh? You mean the Incident famous for being the only conflict in the war not to have a single casualty?” Iruka couldn’t help but sigh. They had spent the last few days reviewing this topic and its significance to the overall war. Naruto could have at least tried to remember such a crucial detail. “Besides, you said before that you were reading about a jutsu.”

“Did I? Ha, ah, well, I was just doing that multitasking exercise you —”

“If you’re not willing to tell me now, then how about over ramen after school?” Iruka-sensei quickly cut in. If there wasn’t some form of incentive (in other words, ramen) then Naruto was unlikely to divulge this information. Of course, usually Naruto was screaming out his thoughts to the world, but in these rare instances, a little bribery was necessary.

Naruto immediately perked up. 

“Alright, sensei! You’ve got yourself a deal!” He grinned, and, now more cheerful than ever, strolled back into the classroom, hands behind his head, whistling a joyful tune, the notes momentarily forgotten as he mulled over whether to go for the time tested miso chashu or something else today at Ichiraku. Iruka simply stayed there, in the hallway, amazed at how easy it was.

______________________________________________________________________________

Naruto did not completely forget the notes while waiting for school to end, however. It was there, nagging in his mind, begging him to stand up and yell out for the author to show themselves. It’s what he’d usually do. This time, though, he stayed put. He wasn’t exactly sure why, but he felt that this was something to keep to himself. Which was, in a way, more unusual than the notes. While some sympathetic teacher or student giving help to the struggling dead last of the class wasn’t something completely unheard of, Naruto not yelling out his thoughts and feelings for the world to hear was. How unfair everyone was, how he was going to be Hokage and have his existence acknowledged, how he hated being an orphan, how Ichiraku was the greatest thing in the world, how brilliant orange was — all of these and more he had ranted about at length at some point. Granted, some he did when he was younger and more frustrated, and now he felt no need to yell about, but still — not going out of his way to interrogate the entire class about the notes surprised him. 

Then again, was it really that shocking? He had never gotten that kind of assistance before. Even Iruka-sensei always seemed very reluctant to help.

The notes were definitely for him (only he’d make blunders as dumb as the ones explained and corrected in them, even he knew that), but why was the person hiding? Why couldn’t they just come out and say these things to his face? If this person cared enough about him to help, then they probably didn’t hate him or find him annoying like everyone else! They could be friends! Sure, he had Kiba and Shikamaru and Choji, but for them it was more about getting into trouble and pulling pranks with him than anything else. This person though, they really seemed nice! And, what’s more, they sounded like they really knew their stuff. As the school day went by, Naruto would occasionally look down, read some of the notes, and marvel at how easy they made it all sound. Whoever wrote these wrote them in a way that even he could understand! If he met this person, and became friends with them, not only would he have more friends, he’d have one who might be willing to actually train with him! 

Not to say that all his thoughts were all positive. An idea did briefly flutter through his mind that this was a trick, a ploy. These weren’t tips, but misleading information that would further hinder him. But… that note with the encouragement. It sounded too genuine, even on paper. No, this is the real deal, he decided. Someone was looking out for him. 

Maybe there was something holding them back. Perhaps they were one of the Anbu that would occasionally look out for him as a child (he quickly shook the idea off). Perhaps it was Old Man Third (nope, the handwriting looked different, even he could tell, he practically had those bills memorized by this point). 

Sighing, he read another note, this one encouraging him to try the leaf-focusing exercise more, when he heard the cutest giggling sound in the world. Iruka-sensei had stepped out to talk to another teacher, and asked them to complete a written assignment. Naruto looked up and saw Sakura, blushing and smiling as she shyly asked Sasuke for a pen, only for Ino and a few other girls to begin yelling at her.

Naruto narrowed his eyes. Whoever was behind the notes was bright — smart as hell in fact. Something was holding them back from talking to him face to face too. The gears turned in his head as he looked from the notes to the pink hair girl now screaming at her ‘best friend’. Sakura was smart — top student in the class in terms of academics, in fact. She was cute, had such a pretty smile, and seemed quite nice too. She was also infatuated with Sasuke. Then again, maybe it was because everyone else was so obsessed with Sasuke. What if she didn’t really like him, but felt pressured to because it was the ‘trendy’ thing to do? And surely, if she tried to help him out (whether it was because she seemed nice or some other reason, he wasn’t sure), wouldn’t she be mocked for even approaching the dead last and outcast of the class?

As Sakura went back to her seat, Naruto couldn’t help the humongous smile that began spreading across his face. He solved it! Sakura stiffened, turned around, and saw the boy staring at her with a bright, exuberant expression on his face. 

She screamed.

Hmm, he’d at least put her into consideration.  
______________________________________________________________________________

At ramen, he revealed nothing, merely stating that he read something shocking, leaving Iruka-sensei even more irritated than usual. As much as Naruto wanted to tell him, he felt that this was a private thing between him, and the person he decided to dub his ‘guardian angel’ (whether it was Sakura or not). He took out all of the notes and brought them home. He tried out a few of the tips that night, and was pleasantly surprised when he found that they were actually helpful. Sure, he was still horrible at shurikenjutsu, but at least he could hit the targets now!

He came in incredibly early the following day hoping to see Sakura or whoever skulking around his desk, but only saw Hinata, huddled away in her corner in the back row, reading something. As unobtrusive as she was, he would have completely missed her too had she not squeaked as soon as she saw him, hastily hiding her face behind her book. Naruto sighed, then checked the shelf under his desk. No note. Furrowing his eyebrows, the boy kept sweeping his hands across the bottom of the shelf, hoping to catch some paper. Maybe his guardian angel only left notes once in a while, or when he made a particularly nasty blunder? Or maybe he was simply too early? Yeah, that must be it. 

But no one tried to sneak a note in during the day, not even when Naruto purposefully left his desk and the classroom during break times. He even stayed after school for longer than he usually would, hoping to spot someone near his desk, but to no avail. Everyone had poured out as soon as the bell rang, and Naruto was left alone with Hinata again, who promptly pulled her hood up, and took out her book again.  
______________________________________________________________________________

The month that followed was marked by very strange behaviour from Naruto. Some days, he would come in incredibly early, leaving long after school had ended. On others, he would barely make it in time, speeding out of class before the bell even rang. He was obsessed with catching his guardian angel. He hadn’t received a note since he discovered them, and he was becoming increasingly desperate and erratic. He was waiting for someone — Sakura, a random teacher, Shikamaru even — to drop any hints, but alas, he got none.

His overall performance improved; he was still definitely the dead last, but with the practice he was putting in, aided by the advice from the notes, he wasn’t as big of a failure as before. He still struggled with his chakra control — apparently he was a special case that not even the notes could properly help — but he nevertheless was very thankful, even for the sentiment. He at least had slightly more idea of what was going on, anyways. This improvement only served to spur him on even more in his quest to find the source of the notes.

He wondered if the notes only appeared when he was particularly terrible, so on occasion, he would purposefully do as awfully as possible at a certain task. Many of them were things mentioned in previous notes that he already got, as he didn’t want to sabotage his development at brand new skills or lessons, but he still hoped that maybe whoever it was was willing to replicate some of their notes. 

It seemed that they weren’t.

It was one of those days when he stayed in the class long after school had ended when he noticed something. He had been building a tower out of the materials on his desk when he heard someone sneeze. Turning, he stared at Hinata, who turned positively crimson at being spotted and leaned down on the pretense of rummaging through her bag. Startled that he hadn’t even noticed her, Naruto thought back to the morning, and realized that Hinata was there too, before anyone else. Looking back, it seemed that in fact, Hinata was always already there whenever he would come in before anyone else, and would still be there when he left late. She never left with the rest of the students when school ended, even when Naruto would leave early. He even recalled seeing her cleaning the board or watering the class plants (even saw her wiping the crumbs off of Choji’s desk once) before any teachers even arrived (then running back to her seat after noticing him). Bewildered, he registered that that must mean that she spent most of the day sitting at school, and must be the first one in and the last one out everyday. 

Why? 

Wait.

If she spent the better part of the day in here, she must know who used to drop off all of these notes! 

“Oi, Hinata?” he called out, just as the girl in question began to rise from her bag. At being addressed by him so directly, she let out a high “Eep!” and turned around in her seat. Sighing, Naruto realized that this would be harder than he had originally thought. “Hinata, why do you spend so much time here? Why are you so early at coming in and late at leaving? Why don’t you just go home?”

Why didn’t she just go home? Naruto heard in passing that she was from the richest clan in Konoha (he himself never paid much attention to these matters, and the Hyuuga never bothered him, so he had no reason to look into them), which must mean that she lived in a massive mansion. Why would she rather stay here, in this smelly old classroom, reading? 

Hinata, though, kept her back to Naruto, poking her fingers together as the prankster gazed intently at her. If he wanted to find out if she knew who his guardian angel was, he had to get her to talk. 

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity. Hinata spoke. 

“I-I don’t like it. Th-there,” she said in a voice so soft and quiet that Naruto had to lean in to hear her. Now he was really confused. She didn’t like it at her expensive home with her rich family? He was about to voice this, when Hinata gulped, and in a trembling voice, continued, “I… I like… b-being alone.”

If he was confused before, he was positively baffled now, and a little upset. She likes being alone? She has a family, a rich family, and she wants to be alone? Money, a clan, and she wanted to be here? He thought she was nice. She always seemed very helpful toward their classmates, and, though she stayed out of the way, it seemed that she was liked enough for her kindness. But to stay away from her own family on purpose! What a gloomy, depressing person! If he had a family, if he had money and influence and a clan, he’d never want to spend a single moment on his own! 

Something stopped him from telling her off though. He wasn’t sure what, but he didn’t want to antagonize the poor girl too much. Maybe it was something in the way she always sat so quietly, trying to make herself as small as possible. Maybe it was because of how nice but timid she always was. Naruto wasn’t exactly the most observant person in the world, but after seeing her alone so often, even he would pick up on some things. 

“Alright then. I was just interested because you’re always here, ya know?” He looked around the room, searching for ways to broach the topic, as Hinata stayed there, turned in her seat, looking away, still poking her fingers together. The notes and the guardian angel were a private matter to him, but if she already knew, then it didn’t matter, did it? He decided to be blunt. “Hinata, I’ve been getting notes in the shelf under my desk, and I’ve been wondering if you knew who it was from.”

The girl froze, hands midway through a twirling motion. And, though Naruto could not see this, she had turned completely red. 

At her silence, Naruto moved further on his offensive. “I mean, since you spend so much time in this room, I just thought that maybe you noticed the person. I just wanted to, well, thank them, ya know? The notes were really nice, and uh, I really liked them and — Hinata? Oi, Hinata, wait!” 

He scrambled out of his seat, calling out for her as she ran straight out of the class, hastily dragging her bag behind her. Utterly bemused, he huffed and plopped back down. She was usually so nice and polite to other people, if incredibly shy and quiet. Why was she like this around him? 

_She could be like the rest of them,_ he reasoned. But, then again, he didn’t get that impression from her. Someone who was that kind to everyone didn’t just ignore one person, as unpopular and disliked as that one person was, right?

He crossed his arms, stood up, and headed home. He wasn’t used to this. She was always there when he left, a constant that always stayed true. As quiet and unassuming as she was, to Naruto, Hinata had sort of become a permanent fixture of the room, and in extension, his quest to find his guardian angel. She may have had no presence at all, and though she mostly hung around in the background, suddenly, now that she was gone, Naruto felt… odd. 

He shook the thought away, and decided to drop by Ichiraku on the way home. He had a long week; he definitely deserved a bowl or five.  
______________________________________________________________________________

The following morning saw Naruto come in five minutes before the school day started. Most people were already there, talking with friends, finishing off last minute homework, or just being noisy. Sitting down, he did his routine check of the compartment, not expecting anything different, when suddenly his heart leaped. There was paper!

Excitement flooded his entire body as he shakily pulled the note out. Same handwriting. Same orange ink.

It was his guardian angel.

A short critique of his taijutsu stance, a tip for staying grounded, and “You can do it!” written at the bottom. 

Naruto grinned brightly, put the note away in his bag, and pulled out something that he had been carrying around for the past couple of weeks. Something he decided that he would leave the next time he got a note. 

A note of his own, with a brief message scribbled on it. 

_Thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much of Naruto and Hinata's interaction and Naruto's inner thoughts are based off of what I saw and how I interpreted the Chunin Exam arc. Make of that what you will.
> 
> This ended up far longer than I originally wanted it to be (hope it didn't get boring and lose you), and though I personally like it, I would appreciate criticism, whether it is nitpicking or a critique on the story. Be as honest as you can!


	2. Association (Episode 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his guardian angel by his side, Naruto finds support and acceptance. 
> 
> With the Scroll of Sealing stolen, will Iruka help him find more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might go back and add more to this chapter at a later date, but I think for now, this is what is necessary for the story to keep moving. It's a little shorter than the first chapter.
> 
> Much of this is me trying to be canon compliant while still throwing in my headcanons.
> 
> Enjoy!

Gritting his teeth, Naruto thought of every single thing he had ever learned from the Academy. From his countless hours of self-training and trial and error. From the small things that Iruka told him sometimes at Ichiraku. 

From the notes. From his best friend. 

He poured in all of his strength. He now understood why, despite all of the assistance from his guardian angel, despite all of the hours of training that he had put in, he had been incapable of producing even a single satisfactory clone. Focusing his chakra, creating a mold of his own body, then transferring that ‘shadow’ outside of himself, multiple shadows in fact, he screamed.

“Taju kage bunshin no jutsu!” 

Naruto had too much chakra. The guardian angel had told him this before, yet he never fully grasped the implications of it. Now, though, the Scroll of Sealing in front of him, he got it. Regular clones were too simple, required too little chakra, and he simply lacked the understanding and control in order to find the right output needed for them. 

This, however… He looked around with uncontained glee at the countless mirror-images of himself. They weren’t perfect by any means, but it was a start. Surely, Iruka-sensei would now let him pass. 

The shadow clones dissipated as the original collapsed, elated, but completely exhausted. He looked around, wondering where Mizuki-sensei was. 

I thought he told me that he would come with Iruka-sensei when I mastered the technique. Hmm, I suppose that I haven’t fully mastered it yet then! I have to train more!

He stood back up, clutching his knees. Gathering breath, he made the cross sign again. 

Before today, Naruto had not harbored any fear or doubt that he would fail the genin test. Confident in the fact that he would pass no matter what, he had spent the day before the test ‘decorating’ the Great Tone Faces. Though it was by no means his greatest prank, it had distracted him from the worry that had consumed him. 

His time with his guardian angel was coming to an end. 

After the day he had left his first thank-you note on his shelf, he and his guardian angel had maintained an almost daily correspondence. For the past several months, he had gotten into a comfortable routine; he would come relatively early in the morning (so that he would have the time to read the notes in peace) and would almost always find new advice and encouragement in his shelf. Sometimes, the notes were mildly disapproving (those came whenever he would play a new prank) but were always very gentle and kindly worded (indeed, he had begun curbing his pranking activities since getting these types of messages so as to not disappoint his friend). In fact, he had been a little worried about the kind of response he’d get for defacing the Hokage Monument, but the letter he got the morning of the exam did not even mention it. 

_Good luck. I know you’ll do great._

Naruto stopped actively trying to look for the source of the notes, begrudgingly accepting that his new best friend did not want to be found (for now at least; after all, Naruto never gave up!). However, he would, on days when he came particularly early, look over at Hinata and consider asking her if she knew anything again, but these urges were always ultimately extinguished at the look of her hunched over at her desk, terrified of the world. 

He would take the note then leave his own, which would always disappear by the following morning. Mostly, they had words of thanks, some with very poorly drawn pictures of him training. Occasionally, he would ask questions — who his guardian angel was, why they couldn’t meet, what they were like. They rarely replied, but he did get little tidbits at times. He knew they enjoyed cooking. He knew they liked zenzai. 

Most importantly, he knew that they were kind and caring. 

But after this, after Iruka-sensei finally allowed him to graduate, he wouldn’t get to find out more about them. He wouldn’t even be able to read anything new from them. Sure, he could re-read the notes that he already had (kept carefully stacked in an old box under his bed in what was otherwise a complete pigsty), and though it would still warm his heart looking through them, it wouldn’t match the incredible feeling of getting a new note. 

His guardian angel. Someone who cared for the orphan. 

Along with Teuchi and Ayame, this was the first person that the orphan had a bond with. Even with his aspirations to become Hokage, there was a part of the attention-starved boy that didn’t want to throw that away. Wanted to stay in the Academy forever, exchanging notes.

He hadn’t been worried about failing the test. He had been worried about passing it. 

Thoughts about his guardian angel had come to haunt him at night. If he passed, he wouldn’t have a way to contact them anymore. His best friend would vanish. But if he failed, would they continue writing to him? Or would they consider all of their efforts ruined and throw him away in disgust, like everyone else did?

He partially wanted to pass for his guardian angel. As a way of expressing gratitude. As a way of showing them that their time wasn’t wasted. 

Not passing and throwing all of that away was not an option. 

And yet...

He had failed. After all that help, he still couldn’t produce a single normal clone. 

He had failed. Even with the help of a guardian angel, he was simply too useless to pass. 

He had failed. Perhaps he didn’t deserve having such a caring friend 

Even with all the assistance the notes provided, Naruto had been so behind that his guardian angel only managed to sort of get him caught up with the rest. The stupid clone technique proved too difficult. 

If it hadn’t been for Mizuki-sensei, Naruto would have probably lost all hope. He looked down at the Scroll of Sealing with gratitude. Mizuki-sensei… 

Could Mizuki-sensei have been his guardian angel?  
_____________________________________________________________________________

Contrary to what the Hyuuga may tell everyone, only a small percentage of Konoha’s most noble clan were active combat ninja. Such was the power of the Byakugan that, though most famous for their prowess in taijutsu on the battlefield, most Hyuuga either worked tirelessly in the hospital, specialised in espionage and surveillance and were rarely home, or were busy with Konoha's Research and Development Division. The few that were field ninja were constantly out on missions. Because of this, the clan was constantly stretched thin, and it was at times difficult to find available Hyuuga in the village itself for tracking. 

Like now, for example. 

The Third Hokage cursed his own foolishness as he commanded his shinobi to find Naruto. Since the Hyuuga had joined the village, there was a policy to always have at least a few in the village for emergencies. It just so happened that at this particular moment, most of his hunter- and sensory-nins were out of the village on a series of missions following several attempts on the Daimyo’s life. 

Including many of the available Hyuuga, Inuzuka and Aburame ninja. 

“Report on Naruto’s current status.” 

“Hokage-sama, the sensory-nins that responded to your summons have yet to find him. There seems to be some difficulty in catching his chakra signature. However, the Barrier Team has confirmed that he is still in the village.” An Anbu Body-Flickered to his side, a Yamanaka judging by how quickly they seemed to communicate with everyone. 

“There aren’t many places in the village designed to block out chakra signatures,” the Third muttered to himself. Aside from his own Estate, the Torture and Interrogation Headquarters, and the prison, there were a few training ground meant for high level jutsu training that were sealed to prevent massive disturbances. “Have the sealed training grounds checked! And if you do find Naruto, do not approach him; call for Iruka instead!” 

“Iruka? The chunin instructor in the Academy?” inquired his assistant, the Anbu disappearing in a flash of smoke. She walked by him as he swept through the Hokage Estate, intending to go to a special chamber of his. “If I recall correctly, he was Naruto’s sensei.” 

“He’s the only one Naruto would come quietly with. Naruto is still a boy, and we need to figure out why he did this, and how. The only people who could have accessed the Scroll of Sealing are instructors and high-level jonin.” He pulled out his pipe. Even with all of his experience, he couldn’t help but get a little anxious. Naruto had been gone for hours, and who knew what he had learned from (or, realistically, done to) the Scroll of Sealing. 

“Still, what if it’s not the training grounds hiding his presence? We don’t know what the Kyuubi is capable of, and —”

“That is enough. You know what Naruto is like. He is as likely to be using the Kyuubi's powers as Jiraiya is to becoming a monk.” 

The assistant could barely keep a snort from coming out.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Iruka sped through Naruto’s apartment, checked Ichiraku, even went into the Academy. There was no trace of him anywhere, as though he just… vanished. 

He couldn’t help being a little angry. Naruto had seemed like he was improving. His behaviour, though not consistent, nevertheless showed signs of getting better. With the exception of the occasional small prank, Naruto was far more tolerable now. 

This, however, was no small prank. With the power of the Scroll of Sealing, there was no telling what he would be capable of. Even someone as terrible at learning as him would find something useful from there. And when coupled with the Kyuubi’s power….

Grinding teeth, Iruka tried to banish the thought from his mind. Sure, Naruto had recently begun demonstrating some rather unusual behaviour. He was somehow better at the ninja arts (not drastically, but still noticeably) and had begun coming to school earlier. If that wasn't shocking enough, in between his long sessions of incredibly loud ranting and bragging, there were moments where he seemed rather quiet and lost in thought. Was this due to the Kyuubi's influence? Had he been transforming right in front of Iruka's eyes and he hadn't put enough thought into it? 

No. There was no way Naruto was doing this because of the Kyuubi. No way. 

Right?  
______________________________________________________________________________

Sarutobi entered his observation chamber and pulled out a large glass orb. For his Tomogane no jutsu to work, he had to wait a little longer, but that was no issue. He gazed up at his assistant, who was still fidgeting and looking angry, and sighed. 

“It does not do good for the wind to look back on the mountain that blocked its path in the past. The wind must move on. I just hope that Iruka understands this.” 

His assistant stared at him blankly. The Third sighed again. 

“If you cannot let go of your prejudice against the Kyuubi, you will never see Naruto for what he truly is. I’ve told the village this many times, including Iruka himself, and yet they cannot get past the idea of the attack 12 years ago. Certainly, we must be careful, but it does one no good to hold onto past pain. This is not a matter of forgiving the Demon Fox, or even trusting Naruto, but understanding that you are clouding your own judgement of the future by clinging to the past. Alas, people simply do not understand the difference between letting go, and forgetting. Isn’t that right, my poor old friend?” 

His assistant paled, and was about to open her mouth, but was interrupted by a sudden puff of smoke. 

“Sandaime-sama, Hyuuga Tokuma has found him at Training Ground Retsu. We have informed Iruka and he is on his way there.” The Yamanaka Anbu reappeared, and the old Hokage sighed in relief. It was incredibly fortunate that the man with the best eyes in the Hyuuga clan had come back a couple hours ago from a mission.

“Excellent. Please, link up with Tokuma. I’d like to monitor the situation myself.” The Yamanka, on top of having a long history of working with the Akimichi and Nara clans, also had a long alliance with the Hyuuga, and had several techniques that allowed the Yamaka mind jutsu to work in tandem with the Byakugan. 

His telescopic glass ball, for example. 

Sarutobi Hiruzen looked grimly into the orb. 

This is as much a test of you, Iruka, as it is of Naruto.  
______________________________________________________________________________

_I did it._

_I can’t believe that I really did it._

_I wish you could see me now._

_Did you know? That I was a demon?_

Naruto thinks back. He thinks back to the encouraging notes. The ones that said that he could do it. 

Even if he was a failure. 

Even if he was the dead last. 

They accepted and acknowledged him. 

And he wants others to do the same. 

And, as he follows Iruka-sensei to the hospital, a squad of Anbu taking Mizuki’s body and the Scroll of Sealing away, he thinks that maybe, it doesn’t matter. 

Maybe his guardian angel doesn’t care. 

That he has a monster in him. 

So he won’t care if everyone else is bothered by it. 

_Iruka-sensei_

He doesn’t know who his guardian angel is. They could be anyone. They could be someone watching him from outside the Academy. 

He doesn’t care. He appreciates them anyways. 

He knows it can’t be Iruka-sensei. Hell, Naruto probably won’t find out who it is now anyways. But, as he tentatively touches the hitai-ate sitting proudly on his forehead, grinning from ear to ear, he can’t help but make the connection in his mind. 

From now on, whenever he will think of his guardian angel, he will think of the someone who didn’t care who he was and accepted him, even if he had a Demon Fox sealed in him. 

He sees the vague silhouette of a person — an outline made of paper. And, behind that, he sees Iruka. 

The two people who first accepted him on his ninja journey. 

Iruka-sensei turns around, and smiles at him. 

_That’s one of them._

He only wishes he knew who the other one was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make Iruka into more of a major character in this, so here you go. 
> 
> A friend of mine (knows nothing about Naruto) read the first chapter and said that I had too much filler (unnecessarily long descriptions and the like) so I tried to reduce it in this chapter. 
> 
> I feel like this comes across as less of a story and more of a long description of a headcanon I have, so I tried to include some more action and dialogue. If you think that this is too... descriptive and not enough is happening, please let me know! This is mostly me just trying to find a good style to express my ideas.


	3. Returning the Favour, Part 1 (Chunin Exams)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chunin Exams give Naruto a lot to think about. And a lot to do.  
> (Part 1 of 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the first half of one big chapter but I decided that the two halves felt more like independent chapters. Plus the end of this half feels too natural an ending for a chapter, and not just a midway point.

“Naruto! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” 

A sharp knock to the head caused him to drop the berries he held in his hand. Cursing loudly (staying with Tazuna for a while really did wonders for his vocabulary), Naruto rubbed his head and, as Sakura stomped on the little black berries, cried out in protest, “Sakura-chan! That was supposed to be our dinner, ya know!” 

“Dinner! It would have killed us!” Sakura yelled, threatening to give him another hit to the head. “Did you not pay any attention during survival training? These are clearly poisonous!” 

“Poisonous?” Naruto did recall something about recognizing foods out in the wild and what was safe to eat from the Notes. Looking closely at the bush, he could just make out some of the tell-tale signs his guardian angel had warned him of. “Right, sorry Sakura-chan. Forest of Death, makes sense that it would have berries of death too.”

Sakura heaved a heavy sigh, lowered her fist, and sat down on the grass. “We barely survived the first couple days. We don’t know where that creepy Kusa-nin that almost killed Sasuke is and whether she’ll come back for more or not, and the way things are going, we’re gonna starve to death before this nightmare of an exam ends. Still, I don’t want us to fail just because someone was dumb enough to eat poisonous berries.” Looking around, she lowered her voice and continued in a fierce, determined voice, “We need to get Sasuke checked out by a specialist immediately, and you dying will just cause us more problems.” 

Sasuke needs to be checked out? “Sakura-chan, what the hell are you —? 

“If you two are done screaming and alerting the entire forest of our position,” a sharp, slightly irate voice called out, “I found a stream with fish.” 

Paleing immediately, Sakura whipped up and quickly walked over to the tree on top of which stood the third member of Team 7. The few days in the Forest of Death had taken on a toll on the young genius: tired eyes; dirty and roughed up clothes; slightly wobbly knees; a slight thinness to his body; and an unnatural pallor to his skin made the usually proud and strong Uchiha look as though he was on the verge of collapse. Still, it was with a graceful flip that Sasuke lept off of his branch and landed in front of the two, silently pointing to his left and walking off at a brisk pace, expecting them to follow. When he turned around and only saw Naruto running after him, however, he stopped. 

“Well?” 

“Sasuke-kun, I —” Sakura began uncertainty, head bowed, before shaking her head and looking straight at him, determination filling her eyes once more, “You shouldn’t be going around like that on your own. I thought I told you to wait back at camp. You need more rest. You’re in no condition to do anything right now.” 

Sasuke scoffed, but it was with a soft and appreciative smile that he replied. “If it was that easy for me to sneak off, then I think I’m fine enough. Besides, I managed to find us water _and_ food on my own without collapsing or anything, didn’t I? Don’t worry too much.” 

Sakura scowled. “Just because you didn’t have difficulty moving around now doesn’t mean that you should have. We don’t know what that… thing might be doing to you.” 

“It can’t be so bad that we have to risk starving or getting poisoned by letting Naruto do the foraging.” 

“It isn’t just about that! What if those Oto-nin come back? Or someone else? You’re not strong enough right now!”

“It’s not a big deal, Sakura. I was careful. Like I said, don’t worry. We’re travelling together right now, so it should be okay.” 

“Even as a group, we’re in no shape to protect ourselves, we’re barely hanging on as it is!” Sakura cried, frustration coming out as she clenched her fists.

“You’re underestimating yourself. And me and Naruto. I don’t think you realize just how strong we are.” 

“Still, you can’t be too reckless! You have to —” 

“Wait just a second! Can we just rewind a bit? First and most importantly, what do you mean, starving because of me? And what _thing_ were you talking about? What’s going on? I need to know too, ya know!” Naruto interrupted as quickly as he could. This was getting out of hand. He couldn’t hope to keep up with whatever these two were saying. Did it have to do with the altercation with the Oto-nin that happened when he was unconscious? 

“Nothing,” Sakura said quickly, too quickly. “I just think that the Kusa-nin from before may have hurt Sasuke-kun more than we think, that’s all.” Breathing heavily, she closed her eyes before putting on a shaky smile. “Come on, let’s go, I bet that Sasuke-kun found us a great stream to fish in.” 

And without another word, she walked past the two of them, shooting Sasuke a worried look before leading the way. Naruto turned and stared pointedly at the Uchiha, but he simply shrugged and followed suit. 

_What was that?_

__Something was off with his two teammates. Sakura would have never challenged and stood up to Sasuke like that, and yet was ready to argue with him in the middle of the clearing. And was it just him, or was Sasuke nowhere near as dismissive as usual? Sure, Sasuke became far more respectful towards Sakura and her abilities after their mission to the Land of Waves, but this seemed different. And did he really say that _they_ were strong, not just himself? Somehow, not only did Sakura get stronger, but Sasuke seemed to have noticed, and… liked it? That smile he had was different from his usual smirk, softer, fonder. _ _

__Disappointment welled up inside of Naruto as he trudged miserably behind his teammates. The boy was far more perceptive than he let on, he just didn’t know what to do with some of the things he picked up at times (you can’t be a successful prankster without being good at noticing things). But he saw the way Sakura looked back at their dark haired teammate, and the way Sasuke seemed to maintain eye contact. He had thought that if Sasuke had kept ignoring Sakura, she would have been more receptive to his own attempts to impress her. Getting to the top meant beating out Sasuke, and winning Sakura from him seemed like a logical step in climbing the ladder. Plus, she was so cute and smart that everyone else wanted her too. But, Naruto thought as he kicked a rock towards a tree, it looked like Sasuke _did_ have something for the kunoichi, and it was his own failure for getting her first. They were hiding something, and Naruto wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what it was. Well, of course he did, but what would he do if it was what he thought it was? He was already losing to Sasuke, had been losing from the beginning. _ _

__Still, he couldn’t complain. Sakura was a great friend, now that they had been on Team 7 for a while. Sasuke too, really, though Naruto didn’t want to admit it. The two of them and Kakashi-sensei were so supportive, and, despite what he said, he lived for the sense of camaraderie he felt whenever they trained. The three of them and Iruka-sensei were the first since Teuchi and Ayame who made him feel the sort of acceptance he had craved since forever._ _

__Well, that wasn’t entirely true._ _

__No, that wasn’t true at all._ _

__Naruto watched Sakura slow down to be level with Sasuke and whisper something to him, concern shining in her eyes, the usual cute, adoring smile that shinned on her face whenever she was in proximity with the genius gone. Ever since he woke up, he had noticed the worry and care Sakura had shown Sasuke. She was acting almost like Sasuke’s own guardian angel._ _

__Guardian angel._ _

__Several months had passed since Naruto became a genin. Several months had passed since he received his last Note. Despite that, he kept them close to his heart, rereading them before bed, reviewing them before training sessions, staring at them when he was bored. The advice helped improve his skills. He never would have gotten the hang of tree-walking as quickly as he did without those chakra control tips and exercises, even with Sakura’s help. And if it weren’t for the Notes on transformations into inanimate objects, they probably wouldn’t have survived Zabuza._ _

__More important were the encouragements. They kept him going._ _

__Before his guardian angel, he only had Teuchi and Ayame for support. They were the first to give him help out of their own free will, and had been for years. But when the Notes began to come, it was like a chain reaction. He won the support of Iruka-sensei, then Team 7. The people of the Land of Waves showed him great kindness (though that was after saving their bridge). And then there was Hinata…_ _

__She had always been dark and gloomy. She was nice to everyone except for Naruto, with whom she somehow became even more shy and withdrawn (and that was saying something). Naruto was convinced that she had a grudge against him for a while, but now he wasn’t too sure. She had been willing to risk everything during the First Exam and let him cheat off of her, afterall. Of course, Naruto had refused in the end, to protect both her and his own team from failing, but the sentiment still warmed his heart. In the end, it seemed that she was, in fact, super nice to everyone, and her being extra reserved around him was simply a coincidence of sorts._ _

__Still, he had the strangest feeling during that entire exchange. He didn’t actually manage to get a good look at her paper, but the little glimpse he had of it made him feel weird for the rest of the day. Something looked incredibly familiar. Was the handwriting? Was it the way her answers were formatted? It almost felt like…_ _

__It was probably because he subconsciously associated Hinata with his guardian angel from the hours he spent with her in that classroom while trying to ascertain their identity, he thought. Maybe that’s why they flashed into his head at that moment._ _

__Briefly, he wondered how she and the rest of Team 8 were doing. Had they run into danger? Or had they already passed. No right? If Team 7 with Sakura and Sasuke was struggling this much, there was no way Team 8 would be faring any better._ _

__Would they be okay?_ _

__He wouldn’t think of that though. His guardian angel had told him to always stay focused during certain situations, and right now he had to concentrate on untangling himself from the mess of vines he had somehow trapped himself in and catching up with him team._ _

__As he thought of all of this, the disappointment in his chest lightened, but the sadness only grew. He hadn’t lost his guardian angel. His first best friend was still with him, permanently saved in the Notes he kept in under his bed. However, he had no contact with them, no way of communicating. For something who had close to no one growing, the loss of that point of support pained him. And that made him determined._ _

__Chasing after his two other best friends, who had gotten ahead by a significant amount while Naruto sulked, Naruto thought about how they made him feel as happy as he had back when he still regularly received the Notes. He had stupidly let being promoted get in the way of his friendship with his guardian angel. He won’t let that happen with Team 7. He won’t let anything get in the way of any of his new bonds._ _

__And Naruto never goes back on his word._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there too much introspection? I was planning to give this more action and less 'Naruto dreaming about his guardian angel and how terrible his childhood was' but somehow this came out and I didn't have the heart to change it.
> 
> It's pretty short, and is pretty much filler, but is important to set up his feelings, and the next half will have more substantial content in it.


	4. Returning the Favour, Part 2 (Chunin Exams)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2. Naruto reflects on the oddity that is Hinata and comes to a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of 'Returning the Favour'. It's the longest chapter yet, which makes me glad that I made it a two parter. It's probably the messiest one yet, but also my favourite. 
> 
> I also went back to watch some parts of a few episodes to help with keeping this "canon compliant", and ended up watching almost the entire Chunin Exam arc. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_”Hey Hinata?” Naruto voiced one cloudy afternoon. There was only a week left until the Genin Exams and most of their classmates had chosen to use their break to practice their ninjutsu outside. The sun had been covered by heavy clouds all day, so many students had taken the chance to train in the courtyard before it rained. Unusually, Naruto had stayed back, choosing instead to use a mnemonics trick he learned from the Notes to practice from one of their textbooks. At the moment, it was just him, and Hinata._

_Predictably, Hinata jumped up, startled, knocking over a small box of shuriken. She had been quietly cleaning and sorting the class’s practice weapons, which Iruka-sensei had earlier complained were getting rusty and bent. Naruto wouldn’t have even noticed her if she hadn’t dropped one of the throwing stars earlier. He had often wondered aloud how their class had any supplies considering the abuse he and the rest of his year had put the Academy resources through. Heck, it was a miracle that they still had the building._

_“N-Naruto… kun?” she asked as she scrambled to pick up the fallen shuriken._

_“Why do you do these things?” Naruto got up from his desk and walked over to help her. From close up, Hinata looked even smaller and meeker, hunched over at the back of the class, picking up throwing stars and haphazardly putting them back into boxes on the verge of disintegrating._

_“These... th-things?” Her head was lowered, making it look like she was still mostly concentrating on her work, but she had stopped picking up shuriken, and her hands trembled slightly._

_“Cleaning the class. Even Iruka-sensei doesn’t care that much about it. You’re always taking care of things and helping people, ya know? I’m just wondering why you do it.”_

_“O-oh, well, I, umm, someone has t-to do it, d-don’t they?” She seemed surprised that Naruto was even looking at her, and had turned a little red._

_Naruto scratched his head, confused. “I don’t really get that. No one’s forcing you to do it. You don’t get anything out of it. You could use all this time for training,” Naruto pressed on, jumping up and waving a shuriken in the air, excitement starting to shine in his eyes, his thoughts jumping from one place to another as fast as Choji went through chips. “I’m here practicing from this book now, but there wasn't a written section, I’d be training right now, ya know! The only things that matter to me are training, and ramen! It wouldn’t matter if this place were filled with dust, or if my shuriken were all mangled and dirty, I’d practice my pants off, ya know!”_

_He finished his declaration off with a fist raised high. At this, Hinata dropped a shuriken and covered my mouth with her hand, her shoulders shaking slightly. Naruto was confused. Did she want to vomit?_

_Hinata finally looked up and lowered her hand, and for a moment, he thought he had caught a glimpse of a smile before something bright shined in his eyes, forcing him to avert his gaze. It seemed that a cloud had moved out of the sun’s way, letting it shine its light into the classroom, and specifically, straight at Naruto._

_He crouched back down to use Hinata as a shield, but she quickly got up and walked over to the window. With her blocking the light, Naruto watched as she reached for the blinds, and, for some reason, couldn’t take his eyes off of her as she was momentarily framed in light. He always felt incredibly confused when she was around, and, considering that he spent more time in the classroom ever since he started receiving the Notes, that happened more often nowadays. Yet, during their limited interactions and the few, brief conversations (if you could call them conversations) they had in the past several months, he felt oddly… calm around her. Like he didn’t have to pretend to be as confident as he had to be around others. She never hit him like the other girls or called him an idiot. Seeing her illuminated with the mid-morning light made him feel almost peaceful._

_That moment of confused calm ended quickly as Hinata managed to find the cord for the blinds and closed them. Turning around, she caught him still staring at her, turned bright red, and bowing her head, walked quickly back to the boxes, sitting farther from him than she had been before and continuing her work._

_“Like this,” Naruto said, continuing his previous point, “you didn’t have to do that. I could have gone and done that myself, ya know.”_

_“I-I… I know,” Hinata whispered, head bent even lower as she began furiously filling away at a chipped kunai. “I just wanted to… help you? You said it yourself, you want to t-train right n-now. You were practicing with you textbook. You’re only h-here talking to me because I kn-knocked over this box. I-I’ve inconvenienced you, so I just want to m-make up for it a little.” She paused for a moment, then, in a voice so quiet Naruto thought he might have imagined it, said, “I’m always j-just getting in the way, m-messing it up for everyone else.”_

_Naruto stared at her. He was helping her because he wanted to. Wait, is that why she does what she does? But if she wasn’t there and he saw a knocked over box of shuriken, he definitely wouldn’t have cleaned it up. She would. Then, is she nice to everyone because she thinks she’s an inconvenience to people? That somehow, her existence itself was a mistake that needed amending?_

_“You’re weird,” he said finally._  
______________________________________________________________________________

Horrified couldn’t begin to describe what Naruto felt at that moment. 

Scared beyond his mind. 

Guilty. 

Pissed the hell off. 

Naruto didn’t think he ever really saw Hinata before. Really _saw_ her. Sure, she was in his class in the Academy for years. Sure, they had the occasional stunted talk in the classroom. Sure, she let him copy off of her test. But to him, she was always the weirdo he never could quite figure out. She always gave up, made excuses or put in minimal effort during class spars, as if afraid of even the thought of hurting someone else. Every time she was called on during Iruka-sensei’s lectures, she would look as though she was strapped to several dozen paper bombs, to the point where Iruka-sensei simply began to leave her alone a while ago. Whenever he tried making conversation, she looked like she was ready to faint. And, during the First Exam, he had been too busy panicking, and simply took her as a nice comrade, paying only the slightest bit of thought to her later during quiet periods in the Forest of Death, puzzled but unsurprising by her kindness.

But that was the extent of it. 

She was Hinata, the nice classmate. The quiet classmate. The so-shy-and-peace-loving-it-was-confusing-why-she-even-wanted-to-be-a-ninja classmate. 

_”In many ways, she’s just like you, Naruto-kun,”_ Bushy Brows had said. 

“It’s serious. She’s got about 10 minutes at most!” 

The words of the medics hit him harder than Sakura’s most vicious strikes. 10 minutes? 

This was wrong. This was an exam. 

She could… die? 

Neji. The top genin in all of Konoha. Someone stronger than Bushy Brows, far stronger than Sasuke, a genius in Hinata’s own fighting style. Someone Hinata called ‘brother’. 

“Get her to the emergency room. Pronto!” 

Yet she, the meek and quiet Hinata, stood her ground, standing tall and giving him everything she had. Pushing herself beyond her limits and getting up every time she fell. Putting up a fight even though it was hopeless. Trying desperately to change herself, to grow. 

“Out of the way!” 

Bushy Brows was wrong. 

At that moment, Naruto thought that Hinata was nothing like him. 

She was stronger. 

She had looked like she wanted to say something to him before she lost consciousness. Even then, she was fighting, trying to desperately communicate something to him. 

He was not going to let this go. 

This wasn’t just about becoming a chunin anymore. 

This wasn’t just about proving himself anymore. 

Neji’s comments hit close to home. Naruto had spent his whole life battling with his own sense of inadequacy, with everyone surrounding him laughing at him, belittling him, calling him a failure. But no matter many times he heard it, he wouldn’t let it go. He used it to fuel his determination, to keep him going. He did something with it, and never let his confidence be shaken.

Besides, he had support. Teuchi and Ayame for years, Old Man Third at times, and eventually Iruka-sensei and Team 7. 

And of course, his guardian angel. 

At the start of the spar, Hinata looked like she was about to fall apart. She was taking everything Neji threw at her and accepted it, as though she too believed in his insults. Maybe he saw himself in her; he too had been called a failure. But they weren’t exactly the same. Hinata hadn’t been doing anything to defend herself, and that made Naruto angry. 

Why hadn’t she done anything? 

_“I’m always j-just getting in the way, m-messing it up for everyone else.”_

Feeling the world fade away around him, Naruto stared at the little pool of blood in front of him. A little pool that might as well have been an ocean. It was proof of Hinata’s will and strength. Her determination to prove herself and change. 

They were nothing alike. 

They were exactly the same. 

Naruto quietly knelt down, and felt a powerful emotion well up inside of him. He touched the blood, letting red coat his fingers, and slowly, deliberately got back up. He turned towards Neji. He raised his fist in challenge. 

_”I meant what I said, and I don’t go back on my word.”_

_Hinata…_

_“That is… my Ninja Way.”_

_I promise…_

“I will absolutely win.”  
______________________________________

Espionage and stealth were the essence of a ninja. Though nowadays, many measured the worth of a shinobi based on the power of the jutsu they knew, or how destructive their attacks were, gathering information without getting caught was undoubtedly the core of the ninja arts, and the continued ignorance of each passing generation towards it was, in this particular man’s eyes, utterly shameful. 

_Besides,_ he thought with a hint of a dreamy smile while looking back towards the hot springs district, _it’s a very versatile and useful skill to have, beyond just missions._

Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the window of Naruto’s still lit room. In the Academy, most students are taught the basics of enemy detection and fundamental chakra sensing, and spent the first few months as genin developing heightened awareness. Naruto, however, had his curtains wide open, looked at peace and was going through little slips of paper with a slight smile on his face, completely oblivious to the shadowy figure openly observing him.

_Jeez, he’s completely hopeless. I’m gonna have to teach him counter-espionage and how to detect spies at some point. It’s not like I’m watching him several buildings away with a Byakugan or something. I’m right here. I’m pretty much asking you to spot me._

Still, the spy was fascinated as he watched Naruto reading those little notes. The boy did not seem like the studious type, so the man was pleasantly surprised by the seemingly fond focus the jinchuriki was giving whatever was written on them. 

Concentrating a little chakra into his eyes, he focused on the current square in Naruto’s hand. Even with the lighting of the room though, he couldn’t make out anything on it other than the colour of the ink. 

_Orange? Seriously? Did he write these himself or something?_

Rubbing his chin, the man looked up at the sky. It was late, and Naruto had had an exhausting day practicing his chakra control. Hell, the man himself had specifically requested the young boy to turn in early, as the next day would be filled with grueling training. Naruto had already been home for a couple of hour or so, and had been on his bed for nearly the entirety of it, barely sparing a few minutes for some cup ramen. He had tried to sleep at first, but after half an hour of tossing and turning, got up and began looking through the notes. 

_Difficultly sleeping eh? Curious, he strikes me as the type to fall asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Something wrong?_

Suddenly, Naruto put down the note he had been currently on, and packed the little slips of paper neatly into the little box in front of him. The man watched as the boy then briefly pulled out a little cylindrical container from it, gripping it tightly, before replacing it in the box and jumping up. Ripping out a piece of paper from what looked like an old Academy issue textbook on Land of Fire history, Naruto scrambled around for something. The spy leaned forward on the roof, a little excited, and saw Naruto emerge from a box in the corner of his room with… a pack of crayons. 

_Crayons, eh? Hmm, explains the orange._

But it wasn’t orange that Naruto pulled out. Instead, he took out a battered looking purple crayon, and began scribbling something on the piece of paper. The man was in danger of falling off the side of the building as he tried to get a closer look at Naruto, who was excitedly writing, scrunching up his slips of paper, ripping out more, then writing again. Eventually, he seemed to finally write down something satisfying, opened the window, and lunged out of it into the streets, forcing the man, who had completely underestimated the boy’s unpredictable nature and impulsiveness, to hastily fall backwards to avoid getting spotted. 

_Now where the hell do you think you’re going, kid?_  
______________________________________________________________________________

Naruto was troubled. He couldn’t remember the last time he had such difficultly sleeping. Even before the Genin Exam, he had no trouble falling asleep as soon as he laid down on his bed. 

However, every time he closed his eyes, he couldn’t help but remember Hinata’s face. The blood trailing down her chin as she lay helpless in the stretcher, completely vulnerable. She had always shielded herself from her surroundings, hunched and guarded, protected by that massive coat of hers. With it unzipped, and her immobile as she was carried away, she looked so small and frail, a stark difference from the strength she had exhibited earlier during the fight. He couldn’t help remember the smug look on Neji’s stupid face as he gloated about failures, and the strange feeling he felt as he made Hinata his promise, the first real, meaningful promise that would prove whether or not he could maintain his Ninja Way.

He was going to fight Neji, and he was going to win.

There was no other choice. 

For himself, and for Hinata. 

That thought alone would have made him try to go to sleep in order to be fresh and ready for a day of training, but he somehow couldn’t bring himself to do so. Because alongside the thought of Hinata, unconscious and dying, was the image of Hinata before the spar began. The way she was being verbally beaten, and how hopeless she looked. Naruto would never allow himself to accept punishment like that, yet he understood how it felt. Worse, he understood the feeling of thinking that the people who called him a failure were right. The feeling that, no matter what he did, he would never change. Never be better than he was. He put on a brave face, and he too shielded himself, always guarded, but he did so with his seemingly overwhelming confidence and bravado, instead of a coat. 

Still… 

Teuchi and Ayame always supported him (though they at times had a funny way of showing it, what with some of the prices they charged), but though Naruto would always greatly appreciate that, there was a difference between faith from regular civilians, and faith from someone who was in the same field as him. In that way, the first time Naruto really felt like he could properly prove that he wasn’t a failure was when the Notes started coming. This guardian angel, who seemed to really know their stuff, who was definitely a ninja from the type of advice they gave, had his back, and helped him get stronger. 

Naruto decided that, since he couldn’t sleep, he might as well go over the Notes. The chakra control practices in them had really helped with his water walking that day, so he thought that they might be helpful for whatever Pervy Sage had in store for him for the next day. Pulling out the box in which he stored them, he paused for a moment, staring at the ointment Hinata had given him. After trying to visit Sasuke in the hospital (Hinata was in the emergency room, and thus was off limits to everyone) and discovering that the Closet Pervert was to be his teacher for a month, he had quickly gone home to shower and drop off the ointment. Now, it sat innocently with the Notes, a reminder of Hinata’s kindness. 

Even while reading through them, Naruto couldn’t concentrate on his guardian angel’s various tips and suggestions. His mind kept wandering back to the ointment, and, most importantly Hinata.

_She’s part of the main branch of the richest clan in Konoha, but gets bullied like this by a member of her own clan?_

He tried to focus on reading the Notes, and smiled at the familiar, comforting orange ink. It seemed like his guardian angel had purposefully chosen that colour because of his fondness for it. 

_The way she acts… the way she reacted to Neji’s taunts… does she have someone?_

_Someone like my guardian angel?_

He stopped reading and looked over at the ointment. This was the person who kept to the back of the class, trying to melt into the shadows, who helped Choji that one time he got sick overindulging on snacks in class, who secretly cleaned the class during break times, who found and returned Shino’s books after some of their classmates hid them as a prank, who was always so nice yet so shy. She helped everyone, never expecting anything in return, even though it seemed like she sorely needed someone. Just like he had. 

_It’s my fault. I kept cheering her on, telling her to fight._

He would never forget how grateful he was, and how amazing it felt when he started getting his Notes. He felt stronger, more confident when he discovered someone who was willing to help him. 

Who could help her? 

_“You’re always taking care of things and helping people, ya know? I’m just wondering why you do it.”_

_“O-oh, well, I, umm, someone has t-to do it, d-don’t they?”_

He wouldn’t sit around doing nothing. They were fellow Konoha-nin, and thus comrades. 

And those who abandoned their comrades were worse than scum. 

Putting away the Notes and the ointment, he jumped up from his bed. Having been so busy since becoming a genin, what with training and missions, Naruto hadn’t really had time to clean up the apartment. His old Academy textbooks (which, in fairness, he never really used unless for spitballs and scrap paper) still laid strewn about the place. Picking up one at random, he flipped through it before finding a blank-ish page, ripped off a piece, picked at it roughly to make it resemble a square, then looked for a pen or something. He thought about the orange ink and the comfort it gave him. Pausing in the middle of his room, he forced himself to think about a colour that he could use for Hinata. Grey, like her coat? Seemed too depressing. Yellow? Nah, she didn’t seem the type. Pacing back and forth, he finally decided to use purple. His guardian angel had mentioned it as their favourite colour (actually, they mentioned that it was lilac, but Sakura had told him that it was a type of purple when he asked), and he felt like it might suit Hinata as well. Searching for anything that could write in purple, he found his old crayon pack. 

_That will do._

Finally sitting down, he was struck by the realization that he didn’t really know what to write to Hinata. It wasn’t like he could give her advice. Updates on his training? Somehow, Naruto didn’t think that he wanted Hinata to know that it was him. He decided that it probably would mean more to her if she didn’t get a note like this from a fellow “failure” (not that he thought Hinata was a failure in any way). 

_She’d probably like it more if it looked like it came from someone who seemed strong and reliable._

He tried congratulating her for her valiant effort, but scrapped it as soon as he wrote the first sentence. Ripping out another piece of paper, he tried again, but tore it up as soon as he did so. Again and again he tried to write something, only to find it unsatisfying and meaningless. His own indecision surprised himself, yet this, he realised, wasn’t something to just half-ass. 

Thinking back, Naruto considered something that would have meaning for her, and her specifically. He wanted to let her know that she was strong, to encourage her to keep going and not to believe a single thing that scummy Neji said about her. 

_Never give up! Don’t listen to that jerk, you can change! You don’t need to though, you’re already super strong, and you’ll only get stronger, believe it!_

Smiling, he decided that that was the one. Folding it up, he raced out of his house and decided to drop it off for Hinata to find. 

Until he realised that he had no idea how to do that. 

_What do I do? Do I leave this at her house? But I don’t know where she lives. At the hospital? I don’t know which room she’s in, and if they’ve taken her from the emergency room or not._

Concluding that the hospital would probably be the best place to start, he dashed off as fast as he could, ignoring the night cold, ignoring the fact that he was still in his pajamas and was barefoot. 

This was important. 

Reaching the front of the hospital, Naruto skidded to a halt, trying desperately to catch his breath. He was somehow uncharacteristically nervous. He didn’t know how to approach this. He could try barging in and asking the receptionist if Hinata was moved to a hospital room or not, but that didn’t seem appropriate. 

Naruto didn’t stand there for long though, before spotting Kurenai-sensei walking out of the hospital. 

_Yes! How lucky!_

Seizing the extremely convenient opportunity that could only be described as fateful, he charged straight at Team 8’s jonin-sensei. 

“Naruto? What on earth are you doing here?” Kurenai asked as she looked Naruto up and down. 

“Well, I was just wondering if Hinata was okay or not, and if she’s in the hospital, ya know! I’ve been training all day, and will be training all month, so I didn’t have that much time to check in on her!” 

He smiled up at Kurenai-sensei, note hidden behind his back. She seemed to have noticed that though, and eyed him with half exasperation, half amusement. 

“Hinata has been fortunately stabilized and moved out of the ER. It seems that the Hyuuga have plenty of methods to deal with Jyuuken inflicted injuries. But!” she quickly said as Naruto seemed to try to excitedly walk past her into the building, “I’m afraid that she’s still in really bad shape. She still hasn’t regained consciousness and they’re not letting anyone in to see her.” 

“They let you in, didn’t they?” 

“Yes, well, I am her jonin-sensei and guardian.” 

Crossing his arms, Naruto huffed and looked annoyed, but his eyes shined with concern. Kurenai-sensei smiled at this, and eyed the note that was now clearly visible with great interest. 

“As the daughter of a clan with a powerful kekkei genkai in the hospital during an inter-village event, I’m afraid that she’s under significant protection,” she continued.

Naruto seemed to deflate before her eyes. 

She tilted her head in interest. “Were you planning on visiting her?” 

“Ah, well, maybe not visit, I’ll be too busy, and I’m not sure she wants to see me or not….”

“Why wouldn’t she want to see you?”

“Ah, well, uh, S-Sakura-chan never wants me around whenever she gets hurt in training, so I’m pretty sure Hinata wouldn’t either, ya know!” That was a lie, but Naruto didn’t feel like giving Kurenai-sensei the real reason. 

She studied him closely, and Naruto squirmed under her scrutiny. Usually, when adults did this stuff (with the exception of Kakashi, Iruka and Teuchi), it was followed by scornful looks or insults. However, Kurenai merely gave him a kind smile, and quickly looked up at the hospital, then pointedly at the note in Naruto’s hand. Too late, he realised that it was right there in plain sight. 

“They won’t let anyone who isn’t Hyuuga main branch or me into her room,” she began slowly. 

“Then —-”

“However, I’m sure that if her jonin-sensei were to visit her again and, oh, I don’t know, leave her a written message at her bedside table, no one would mind too much.” 

Her smile grew all the more kinder at the way Naruto seemed to immediately brighten in front of her eyes. 

“Really? You’d really do that, Kurenai-sensei?” he practically yelled. 

“Of course, I’ll just say that I had a couple more questions to ask regarding her training and check in on her. Ko-san does seem fairly reasonable for a Hyuuga main branch member.” 

“Wow, you’re the best, ya know!” He gleefully handed her the note, but before she walked back in the hospital, called out, “Are you gonna visit her every night? At around the same time as now maybe?” 

She turned, and looked at him curiously.

“Are you planning on leaving her a message like this every night?” 

Naruto merely laughed nervously, rubbed the nape of his neck, and nodded.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 _What a kid_ , the man thought as he watched Naruto snoring away back in his house. The man had followed him from his house to the hospital and back, carefully watching the boy’s interaction with the jonin. At this, he had done a far better job at hiding his presence; from what he heard, if the jonin had been put in charge of a main branch Hyuuga, she probably was fairly elite. Still, despite his efforts, he thought the jonin was a bit tenser than appropriate, and at one point thought she had looked straight at him. 

_Perceptive. No surprise they assigned an unsealed Hyuuga to her. And that figure…_

After giving the jonin his message, Naruto had stuck around, waiting until she returned to make sure his note had been delivered properly. When she confirmed that the note was safely on Hinata’s bedside table and that she would survive, he obnoxiously got her to agree to be his messenger every night ( _why the hell had she agreed to that?_ ), then sprinted back home and fell instantly asleep. 

_Well, at least now I know that his restlessness had something to do with a Hyuuga. Chances are, it’s old Hiashi’s little princess._ The man turned around, leaned back on the wooden fence of his rooftop, and, keeping his head facing Naruto’s window, grinned. _Jeez, going after someone way out of his league, what a rascal. I’m gonna have to force the details out of him at some point._

His grin dropped, and he turned his head, frowning to look at the ninja who had at last decided to show himself. _Finally, I’ve known you were here since you came ten minutes ago._

“Sorry for snatching away your student, Ebisu.” he opened as the newcomer came to look at Naruto at the wooden border.

“It’s okay. More importantly, I was surprised. The Lord Hokage has had us searching all over for you, and we could never determine your whereabouts. To think you were in the village — ” 

_Well, at least I’m not like Tsunade… At least I send him free copies from my Icha-Icha series._

“ — Lord Hokage will be pleased.” 

_Ah, yes, that._

“Did you tell the Third Hokage about me?” he asked Ebisu.

He hesitated, then, lowering his head slightly, said “Not yet.” 

_Hmm, so you’re not a complete idiot, Ebisu. Good._

“That’s probably for the best.” As the master of one of the most extensive spy networks in the Five Great Countries, having Sarutobi-sensei get wind of his presence in Konoha would probably agitate Danzo and his gang, and, with Orochimaru lurking around, might make things complicated. 

Yes, he had heard of Orochimaru’s reappearance, and the way the old snake attacked Team 7. That was one of the several reasons why he had chosen now, specifically, to return to the village. That, and the fact that there were two junchiriki participating in the Chunin Exams. 

_There were storm clouds brewing, and Naruto is soon going to be in the middle of it all. That is, unless I step in._

He wasn’t sure if Ebisu was right. Maybe he was strong enough to take on Orochimaru. Maybe, in many ways, he was even stronger than the snake summoner. _I’m definitely better in certain areas, going by Orochimaru’s pathetic fuinjutsu._

It wasn’t that he wasn’t strong enough to take on Orochimaru. 

It’s just that they were all talking about the wrong kind of strength. 

No, he’d focus on finally ending Orochimaru later. Right now, his main priority was to protect the Kyuubi’s jinchuriki. 

To protect Minato’s kid. 

Despite the hard demeanour he presented Ebisu as the jonin rambled on about Orochimaru, Jiraiya couldn’t help but inwardly smile. 

_Minato, Kushina… Heh, your kid’s doing just fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was my attempt at symbolism? I’m not too good at stuff like that but I thought it would be nice to slip something in at the beginning with the light and everything (get it? Hinata means ‘place in the sun,’ plus, angels? Haha, ha, I really need to work on my subtlety).
> 
> The dialogue between Ebisu and Jiraiya was taken directly from the anime. Man, the way Jiraiya was introduced was so epic, it's a shame it isn't considered an "iconic moment", at least from what I have seen. 
> 
> Also! I re-watched Hinata vs Neji, and damn, I know that Rock Lee vs Gaara is considered the most iconic fight from the preliminaries, but the Gentle Fist duel was just so beautiful. It's really a shame that the Hyuuga got pushed to the side in Shippuden. I get focusing on the Uchiha and Senju, but making everything about them makes the world seem... more stale. 
> 
> Side note: I really don’t like The Last. There are really nice parts to it, but overall, it feels to me like they’re attributing Naruto’s feelings for Hinata to guilt (though I’m sure that’s not what they were going for. Probably). Besides, from everything that happened in Shippuden, I feel like Naruto should have been far more emotionally intelligent and mature by The Last than he was portrayed. Also, from Sasuke’s headband to his orange jacket and Kakashi’s bells, he seems like quite a sentimental person. It doesn’t make sense that he would just forget about Hinata giving him the ointment (maybe that’s just me though). So, ultimately, I won’t accept it as canon unless quirrrky’s [secret lovers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18221408/chapters/43107875) fic is also acknowledged by Kishimoto himself as canon. I’m crossing my fingers on that one. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter! For my first fic, it seems to be going well so far, or at least better than I thought, so thank you very much for reading this far. It’s really bizzare but exciting to think that random strangers may or may not be reading (or at least clicking on) this.


	5. Extra I (Academy Days)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though as adults, Naruto's far calmer and more rational, and Hinata's nowhere near as jumpy or nervous, there was a time, back when they were in the Academy, when those respective qualities caused quite the... incident. 
> 
> (Basically an omake)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my attempt at writing humour, so sorry if it's a bit wack. I was struggling with writing the actual chapter, and couldn't finish it by my personal deadline, so decided to post this filler chapter instead. 
> 
> Enjoy?

Ever since Iruka-sensei had given in and got the classroom a kettle, Naruto was in perpetual bliss. During lunchtime, instead of venturing outside with the other kids and wistfully watching them play together and eat their homemade bento, he could stay in the classroom, take out his cup ramen and dig in. Occasionally, Iruka-sensei would tell him off for eating ramen everyday and awkwardly slide him some of his own lunch, usually heavy on the vegetables, but more often than not, he was undisturbed. 

Today, as Naruto saw it, was no different. They had just completed some very complex infiltration training, and with everyone outside, there was no one in the classroom to laugh at his abysmal performance. Aside from a subtle, but very pleasant smell that was not of ramen, the classroom was deserted. Completely and utterly deserted. He was totally alone. 

He grinned. 

“Hehe, this is the life, ya know,” he said around a mouthful of noodles, slurping happily at Sakura’s desk. He’d eat at his own, but he tended to spill a little, especially with cup ramen, and he didn’t think his guardian angel would find a desk smelling of ramen very impressive when they came to deliver the latest of the Notes. 

“Wonder what they’ll say tomorrow. Hmm, I kinda sucked at the stealth training this morning, maybe tips for that? Or something about how I pranked Sasuke’s fan-club? Today’s Note was kind of short, so maybe they’re a little busy?” he pondered aloud, setting the now finished and empty cup on the table. There was absolutely no one else in the classroom, so Naruto didn’t think that there was a problem talking aloud. “Hehe, I’m so excited, ya know!”

Evidently, he was wrong. 

“Wha—- Hinata? What are you—- oi, Hinata, you okay?” 

Whipping around at the sound of someone coughing, he saw Hinata, sitting at the back as usual, choking, lightly hitting her chest as her trembling hands set her chopsticks on her bento box. She seemed extra red today, her head looking like a red hot ball of fire capped with dark blue hair. Naruto ran to help her out, but she quickly and wildly shook her hands at him, before going back to coughing ferociously and pounding on her chest, looking away from him. Ignoring her protests, he quickly got around her and began thumping her on the back just as she reached out to grab her thermos, and the force of his strikes nearly slammed her straight into her own lunch, consequently knocking the thermos out of her hand and spilling its contents all over the floor. 

“Ah no! You need water? I’ll get you some!” Naruto yelled as he vaulted over Hinata’s desk, smashed into Sakura’s desk, grabbed the kettle, poured piping hot water into his empty ramen cup, then hurried back toward Hinata, who by then had already managed to dislodge whatever it was that got stuck in her throat. Completely failing to notice her meek protests and determined to deliver her the water he thought she needed, he, as carefully as he could, ran back up the stairs, only to slip on the water that had spilled from the thermos and splash the boiling hot water straight at Hinata.

She screamed. 

Naruto proceeded to jump on her desk, crouch down and grab Hinata by the shoulders, bringing his face close to hers, yelling, “Hinata! Are you okay?!” in a panicked and slightly threatening manner, only for her to face, already looking as though all the blood in her body had gone up it, to positively glow scarlet. Her head fell back, and her body went limp — she fainted. 

Her scream, which wasn’t particularly loud given that it was Hinata, had managed to attract the attention of the nearby Iruka, who raced into the classroom, expecting something horrible. He slammed the door open, a kunai in his hand ready to defend his students with his life, but stopped dead at the sight of Naruto, who was radiating panic, violently shaking and yelling at an unconscious Hinata. 

“Naruto! What the hell is happening?” 

Fear struck Naruto’s heart at the sound of his sensei, and he immediately stopped and stood up on the desk. Unfortunately, that resulted in him letting go of Hinata, who fell face first into her own bento. 

“Iruka-sen— H-Hinata! OhmanohmanIkilledher! What do I do?! Hinata?! Wake up, ya know!” 

Naruto completely lost his head as he jumped down from the desk, hands gripping his hair, dancing from foot to foot over Hinata, who was still out cold. He tried prodding her to no avail, and even nudged her head, getting no response. 

Iruka, on his part, stood stock still. It was a well known fact that ninja were capable of reacting to anything; much time went into training that particular skill, and there was very little that could elicit any uncontrolled reaction or surprise from anyone chunin level or above. 

This, apparently, was one of those few situations. 

Iruka spent nearly a minute staring at Naruto, dumbstruck and lost for words, before finally realising that Hinata was probably suffocating on her rice. 

“Move away, Naruto, she can’t breathe!” he called as he swiftly moved into action, pulling Hinata from the bench and setting her on the floor. He checked her pulse, then performed a little healing jutsu for the mild burn on her face (Academy instructors were required to know some basic medical ninjutsu), all while Naruto still jumped around next to him, biting his nails. 

“Hey hey, Iruka-sensei? Is she going to be okay, ya know? Is she? Did I kill her? Please tell me I didn’t kill her because if I did I’d —”

“Naruto, be quiet, she’s fine, just unconscious,” he snapped. _Her heart rate is really high though, even though she’s already been out for a while. What on earth—?_

“Naruto, I need to know exactly what in the world you did to her.” 

“Me?” the boy in question yelled in indignation, “I didn’t do anything! Okay fine, I may have spilt some hot water on her, but that was it! She was just choking on her food and I wanted to help, I didn’t even know she was here, ya know?” 

“Obviously you did something! People don’t pass out from hot water, especially not ninja!” Iruka yelled back. 

“Yeah, but Hinata’s a girl!” 

“A third of the class is made up of girls who went through the same training as you, and who are better than you!”

“Still, they’re girls! Plus, Hinata isn’t exactly the toughest!” 

“Why you—”

This went on for a good while before the two settled on glaring at each other, animosity thick in the air. 

The bell rang. 

“As I was saying Sasuke-kun, I think you were really— What the—-!” 

The class had begun walking into the classroom, Choji, Shikamaru and another boy at the lead, Sasuke, Sakura, and a few other girls not too far behind them. They stopped in their tracks and stared at the odd scene in front of them. 

“Iruka-sensei?” a girl asked with uncertainty. 

“Naruto!” a boy yelled accusingly. 

“Hinata!” Choji cried with concern. 

“MY DESK!” Sakura screamed, rage filling her as she, standing on the stairs at the edge of the crowd gathering at the door, noticed the splintered remains of her desk. “SHANNARO! NARUTO, YOU IDIOT!” 

_I’m screwed,_ thought Naruto as the whole class seemed to circle around him, disgust and anger buzzing in the air. 

That day marked the end of the classroom kettle. 

And the next day, when Naruto, still glum and hoping for a little cheer from his guardian angel, checked for a Note, he found possibly the smallest slip of paper he had ever received. The message was still nice, still held encouragement, but was the shortest Note his guardian angel had ever written, and was a little terse and felt a bit colder than what he was used to.

 _At least they seem slightly more understanding than everyone else,_ Naruto thought, looking over at Hinata, who, after quickly and furiously apologizing and saying she forgave him at the end of school the previous day, had started to avoid him more avidly than usual. _My guardian angel’s still a little nice, unlike some people, who say they forgive me, but act like looking at me burns their eyes._

______________________________________________________________________________  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

_Why the hell did we invite him,_ thought Naruto furiously, glaring at Iruka over the dinner table, who looked far too pleased with himself. 

It was Iruka’s birthday, and, like they did every year, Naruto and Hinata invited Iruka to their home to celebrate. Like every year, the kids would give him their collective present at the beginning, while they would give theirs to him at the end. Yet it seemed that this year, while they went up to their bedroom to collect the present, their old teacher took the opportunity to tell the kids an old story about their parents.

The Choking Incident, to be precise. 

They had walked into the dining room to raucous laughter and only managed to hear Iruka say “and since then, I banned kettles in the classroom”, but knew instantly what he was talking about. 

_Of all the embarrassing things he could have told them! This is the worst!_

While the two of them would very occasionally laugh about it on their own, they never spoke about it to anyone else, least of all their own children. He looked at Hinata, who was probably only slightly redder than he was, and grabbed her hand reassuringly, then looked around the table to take stock of everyone else’s reactions. Iruka was smiling widely; Kakashi’s eyes looked overly bright; Himawari was still laughing; and Boruto simply looked disgusted. 

_Boruto already had an incredibly low opinion of me, ya know! Iruka-sensei, I’m gonna kill you!_

“Hinata, honey,” Naruto whispered to his mortified wife, “let’s go to a restaurant next year.” 

She forced a smile, and nodded slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that wasn't too cringe worthy, especially the end. I was personally cringing at it, but quite like it myself. I do rather enjoy cliche stuff. 
> 
> I shall now shamelessly self-promote my one other story, Harbinger of Light! The Lotusverse is something I've been mentally working on since I first got into Naruto, and has ideas that I really think are rather interesting. I'm interested in seeing what other people think about them.


	6. Soliloquy of the Lonely: Guardian Angels (Konoha Crush)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some say there is no greater pain than loneliness. These people certainly would agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the chapter that I've been trying to write for a while now. Hope it's okay.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (I pretty have outlined the rest of this story now, and by outlined I mean I have a list of chapter titles. So, as of now, we have reached the 1/3 checkpoint now. Woohoo?)

“Kankuro… Temari…. I’m sorry.”

Every part of his body hurt, as though on fire. Stomach churning, lungs unable to fill up properly. His head was pounding, buzzing, as though the demon inside was rattling its bars, screaming to be let out. Ordinarily, when it became this unbearable, when the pressure from the monster was too much, he’d stop fighting, let it out, and simply watch as his seal gave in to the power of the Ichibi. 

The seal did its job though. 

For once, he was glad it did. 

Tricklets of blood slid down into his dark eyes as they sped through the forest, away from the Konoha genin, away from the village, trying to find a place where they could rendezvous with Baki. The invasion plan was a complete failure; it was clear from the moment he had released his demon too early, wasting the efforts of their village.

Their father’s ultimate plan was ruined. 

He was glad. 

Temari and Kankuro stared at him, stunned. Not since Yashamaru had Gaara sounded so genuine. Remorseful even. 

“Uhh, don’t worry about it,” Kankuro awkwardly said. He looked across at Temari, his expression baffled and concerned. Temari shrugged, too taken aback to do any more. They didn’t question him, let him rest, even though they wanted nothing more than to know what happened. 

He was glad. 

_Love made him strong?_

Love was a source of weakness, a path to self-destruction. He was taught that when Yashamaru tried to kill him. He hadn’t wanted to be a shinobi, wanted to use his special sand to build, or to craft, and his uncle understood and cheered him on. His uncle taught him what it meant to be human, what it meant to have someone and be loved, and protected him from crippling loneliness. 

Yashamaru was his guardian angel.

He loved his uncle. 

It was that love that made him into the monster that he was. 

_What is a guardian angel?_

Temari used to tell him stories, back when they were still small. Folk tales she would hear from the Suna women that she would then excitedly recount to her younger brothers. Out of them, there was one that always stuck with him, one that still reverberated within him. 

The Tale of the Dog and the Guardian Angel.

_”Once upon a time, there was a pack of dogs. Their home was destroyed so they went looking for a new, nice place to live,” Temari said, drawing a crude depiction of a few dogs in the sand._

_“Why was their home destroyed?” Kankuro asked._

_“Another pack?” Gaara asked in response._

_“I don’t know, it was just destroyed,” Temari replied irritably. “It doesn’t matter, the thing is, while they were traveling, they passed through a desert. One day, there was a really big sand storm that hit the dogs.”_

_“Were they okay?” Gaara looked incredibly worried._

_“I’m getting to that! Anyways, the dogs were all separated, and one of the dogs was lost in the desert for weeks. He was hurt and dirty and looked very scary. He wandered around. There were merchants and caravans travelling around, but everytime they saw him, they kicked him away, scared of his ugly appearance. After many months, right when the dog was about to starve to death, he found a crying baby, lost in the sand. The baby had fallen from a caravan.”_

_“Why didn’t his parents notice the crying? And that the baby was gone?” Kankuro interjected._

_“I don’t know, I guess the baby was sleeping and the wind carried him away. Please, can I finish my story?” Temari complained, scowling at her brothers._

_Gaara sat still, scared of his older sister. Kankuro simply looked a little bored, but relented, and waved at Temari to continue._

_“So, the dog saw this baby, and he was really hungry, but instead of eating the baby, the dog sat by him and howled for someone to come save the baby. When no one came, he used all his strength to lift the baby up, and started to run after a dust cloud that he thought might have been the caravan. But sadly, he never found it, and the baby died on the journey.”_

_“That’s a really bad story!” Kankurou complained, while Gaara nodded. “Where’s the message? Be better parents?”_

_“Shut up, I’m not done! So, the baby dies, but instead of eating him, the dog, weak and dying, buries it in the sand, and howls in sadness for three days and three nights. The dog, finally about to die itself, laid down on the grave, then, right when it was about to die, it saw the baby in front of him!”_

_“But the baby—”_

_“The baby had turned into an angel! The angel said that it would protect the dog as thanks for trying to save him, and told the dog to follow him. The dog was so hungry and tired it was about to die, but it was so lonely that it managed to follow the angel for forty days and forty nights. The angel would encourage the dog, say that it could do it, and the dog kept going. Finally, it found an oasis! The dog was saved! At the oasis, the dog, after eating and drinking, was about to bathe when it was found by a shepherd, who took the still scary looking dog in and used him to keep his sheep in line! The dog found a home!_

_“At first, everything was great for the dog. But when he went and traveled with the shepherd, he realised that the sheep were afraid of him. He tried to be nice to the sheep, because he missed his pack and wanted a family like them again, but they still hated him. After a while, the dog tried so hard for the sheep to like him that he stopped doing his job. The shepherd started beating him, and the sheep bullied him. One day, when the sheep were bullying him, he almost went crazy and tried to bite them to protect himself, but the shepherd saw this and tried to kick the dog away. That’s when the angel came back and took the kick for the dog!”_

_“Finally, I was wondering when the angel would come back!” Kankuro said, Gaara nodding in agreement, silently cheering._

_“The shepherd and the sheep were scared, and they ran away. The dog was about to thank the angel for saving him, but realised that the angel was dying.”_

_“But the angel’s already dead!”_

_“The angel used its power to become alive again so that it would block the kick, and the kick was strong enough to cause it to die. As it was dying, the angel spoke to the dog, and told it to wait until it was night, then follow the brightest star. The dog buried the angel, and howled for three and three nights, but the angel didn’t rise again like last time. Sad, the dog did what the angel told him to do. He followed the star for forty nights, lonely but pushing on, remembering the angel, and then, at last, it reached another oasis. This time, it managed to bathe, and when it came out beautiful and shiny, it howled for the angel that saved it. To his surprise, there were more howls that followed it, and when the dog went around a tree, it found its pack again._

_“The dog was happy that it found its pack and became the pack alpha, and together, they dug up the sand around the oasis and turned it into tall walls to protect themselves and the oasis from sandstorms. Caravans and merchants saw the place and tried to come in. The dog, who was shunned by the same merchants when he was about to die, decided to forgive them by letting them in and allowing them to share the oasis with the pack. They all became family._

_“As the years passed, there were people who wanted to steal from the merchants and hurt the dogs, bad people. They attacked the walls and robbed the merchants who came in and out. The dog wanted to protect the people who became its family and tried to save a merchant that was about to be robbed, but was hurt so badly it was going to die. It used the last of its strength to howl so loudly, it shook the earth and scared away the people. Sad, the merchants learned how to use chakra and created a huge ball as a grave, and the other dogs of the pack were so sad that they howled so loudly, they created a forever sandstorm around the oasis, hiding it from the world so that no one would touch it again._

_“For hundreds of years, the merchants of the oasis were the only ones who could go in and out. But when a bunch of clans in the Land of Wind decided to make a Hidden Village, the First Kazekage used his wind jutsu to find this place, but they couldn’t come inside. He and his ninja wanted protection from the evil Stone Village ninja, who were attacking them, and the dog, whose spirit still protected the oasis, let them in, and the Village Hidden in the Sand was born. That’s why everyone says that Suna’s guardian angel is a howling dog, and why the Kazekage’s office is shaped like a ball. That’s why we have the festival of the Howling Storm, to honour the dog, and that’s why it is forty days long, because the dog followed the star and the angel for forty days.”_

_It was quiet for a while. Gaara looked immensely impressed, Temari was grinning in a self-satisfied manner, but Kankuro, after a bit, just laughed._

_“What a stupid story! A dog ghost protecting Suna? And what about that baby? What’s the message?”_

_“The message,” Temari began angrily, “is that you should be nice to people, and that people you were nice to will always protect you.”_

_“How? The merchants weren’t nice to the dog, why’s it protecting them?”_

_They argued all day, while Gaara stayed silent._

It was something Gaara thought back to once in a while, the Tale of the Dog and the Guardian Angel. Why had the dog forgiven the merchants? What the hell was going on with that baby’s ghost? As Kankuro always said, it was an idiotic story meant to be an excuse to have more holidays, but as time went by, and the distance between him and his siblings grew, Gaara couldn’t help but find some value in it.

Before, he only had Yashamaru, so he always just assumed that Yashamaru would always be there for him, like the dog that was said to still protect Suna to this day.

Then Yashamaru had tried to kill him, and suddenly, the story became a joke. 

Still, he revisited it once in a while, thinking about how foolish the dog was for trusting the baby in the first place. Didn’t the baby lead the dog to the abusive shepherd in the first place? Then, why did the dog give everything to protect the merchants who shunned him?

 _Uzumaki Naruto… he kept going… he could keep going… because of love?_

Gaara didn’t have a guardian angel anymore, only a demon. From his previous encounters with Uzumaki Naruto, the Konoha-nin also had a demon, also had a monster holding him down. 

But he said that he had people to protect, and that’s what gave him strength.

Uzumaki Naruto had said that he understood Gaara perfectly, so did that mean that Gaara also understood him? At least, to some level? Gaara knew that it wasn’t easy to find people to protect. Then, perhaps, did Uzumaki Naruto have someone who protected him first?

 _Like the dog,_ Gaara mused.

_Does he have someone?_

_A guardian angel?_

_Someone guiding him?_

_Someone encouraging him?_

Gaara thought back to Yashamaru’s heartbreaking betrayal. He never wanted to experience that again. However… 

He slowly craned his head to look at Kankuro, then at Temari. Both looked tired and scruffy. Kankuro especially looked like he had been put through hell. But they were both pushing themselves, trying to get Gaara, who was at this point only dead weight, away from the Konoha-nin. 

_They’d go this far… for me…?_

Kankuro, in his pain and exhaustion, tripped on a branch, and fell straight to the ground, bringing Gaara and Temari down with him. They crashed into the dirt, Kankuro grunting in pain and almost blacking out. Gaara felt the shock of the impact ripple through him, but it was far less than he thought it would have been. He opened his eyes, and saw that Kankuro had turned in mid-air so that Gaara would land on him, cushioning the fall.

“Kan...kurou?” 

His brother grunted once more, breathing heavily and wincing in agony. Gaara was still on top of him. 

“Kankuro! Are you okay?” Temari cried out, leaning over to check on her sibling. 

“Heh, ugh, I’m… fine,” he wheezed out. “That… freaking… insect kid. Really, ugh, did a number on me.” 

_He was already in so much pain…_

Gaara’s mind flashed back to Uzumaki Naruto, who kept going against him, even when he himself was about to fall apart. Uzumaki Naruto, who kept going against the Hyuuga genius, determined to win despite the insurmountable odds simply because he had made a promise, a promise to the Hyuuga girl. The Hyuuga girl, who herself refused to give up against the same genius, because she wanted so desperately to change, because she didn’t want to be shackled to her fate. That Rock Lee, a failure in every sense of the word, the first to push him, to make him worried about his victory. 

_Is this how they felt?_

He himself was in immense pain. After his possession by Shukaku, and his battle with Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto, he could hardly move. But he was right on top of Kankuro, who could barely breathe, who was struggling with his own pain. 

Slowly, gradually, he tried to shift himself. Temari, who had been yelling in a worried manner at Kankuro, stopped mid-sentence to watch, dumbstruck, as Gaara rolled off of Kankuro with all the strength that he had left. She caught him before he hit the ground, and wondered as their brother finally managed to take a deep breath. 

“Gaara, you… Gaara,” she whispered. 

“Kan… kuro,” Gaara made out, wincing, turning to look at his startled brother. “Why… did you do that?” 

“Why?” 

Kankuro’s eyes widened, and he turned his head to look up at the treetops. He closed his eyes, breathing for a minute; two minutes. 

He then smiled, and opened his eyes, still looking away. 

“You’re my brother, why else?” 

What is a guardian angel? Where does true strength come from? How was Uzumaki Naruto that strong? 

What is love? 

Gaara closed his eyes, numb with shock.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Whenever he felt lost, or sad, Iruka would come to the Konoha Cemetery to visit the Konoha Memorial Stone. Today, it felt like the right to do as he was both. 

_Sandaime-sama’s funeral is going to be tomorrow, huh._

The entire village was in mourning. Due to the strong resistance put up by the Konoha shinobi, and Suna’s failure to unleash the Shukaku in the village, the casualties for the invasion were surprisingly low; that didn’t make the loss of those who did perish any less devastating. 

Especially since it included their beloved Hokage. 

Keeping his head down, Iruka walked up to the Memorial stone, his gaze trained on his feet. There was so much to say to his long deceased parents; his remorse at not being able to do more to protect his village; his frustration at how his previous former students were forced to see such brutal combat this early in their careers; and the pain of having lost the Lord Hokage were only a few things he could have talked about. 

“It’s strange, isn’t it.” 

Iruka lifted his head slightly. There were a few fellow shinobi and a couple of civilians nearby, paying their respects, but it almost sounded as though the statement had been directed at him. 

“Sometimes, it seems like the only people we can talk to are those who aren’t with us anymore.” 

He turned his head towards the speaker, and raised his eyebrows at the sight of Hatake Kakashi, Naruto’s jounin-sensei, standing near the edge of the monument, looking like he’d been there the whole time. _How hadn’t I noticed him?_

“Still,” Kakashi-san continued, gaze still trained on the Memorial Stone, “I guess, in a manner of speaking, those who have left us are still there, still guiding and encouraging us.” 

“Kakashi-san, what are you getting—”

“When they leave us, they leave remnants within us, their memories leading us on our paths, especially when they already were guiding us in life.” 

Looking down, Iruka thought about the Lord Hokage. The old man’s teachings and words would influence his decisions for as long as he lived. This was, in fact, something the Hokage had told him before, when his parents died.

“Why are you telling me this?” 

Kakashi-san sighed deeply, and looked up at the sky, hands going to his pockets. “From what I have seen and heard, you’re one of the more competent instructors at the Academy, and have had quite the influence with many of your old students. You still maintain good relationships with a few of them, and the strongest one is with Naruto.” 

Finally, the Copy Ninja turned his gaze towards Iruka, his posture and energy relaxed, lazy, but his eyes were unreadable. “Frankly speaking, you’re closer to Naruto than I am, and probably ever will be. He probably just sees me as a teacher and a fellow shinobi.”

“I’m also his teacher and a fellow shinobi,” Iruka argued back.

“True, but I don’t think that Naruto sees you that way. From my observations and what Naruto himself rambles on about, you hold a pretty important place in his heart. After all, you’re one of the first to acknowledge him, and treat him like a normal person, a friend, even.” Kakashi-san turned his sight back to the stone memorial. “Another important figure to him was Sandaime-sama. I don’t think they were particularly close, but as someone who struggled with loneliness, I think you personally could understand how devastating it is for someone who has so few bonds to begin with to lose one of them. Each bond is that much more precious, and so each loss is all the more painful. I can’t help him; I can’t say that we’re close enough yet, and I have my own problems to deal with. Plus, Sandaime-sama has had a far stronger impression and relationship with the two of them then he ever did with me.” 

“You’re… asking me to take care of Naruto?” 

“I know you’d be there by his side anyways, I just want you to understand how important it would be for him. To Naruto, you’re a guiding force in his life. A guardian angel, one might say.” 

_Guardian… angel?_

Iruka looked up at the sky. Of course, he was planning on comforting Naruto anyways, but he had forgotten just how important it would have been for Naruto specifically. He forgot the direct impact the Hokage had on the jinchuriki. 

“I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself his guardian angel. Honestly, at times I feel like he already has one. There was a point when he was at the Academy when he became a little bit more cheerful, a bit more focused and less mischievous. Not huge differences, mind you, he was always unbearably annoying and boastful, but it was almost as though something about him changed. Like he was more determined.” 

Kakashi smiled at him (or at least looked like he smiled, what with the mask), and then continued to stare at the Memorial Stone. 

“Well, who says someone can only have one guardian angel?”

“Ah, well, I mean, no one, but I don’t think I’m that important to him,” Iruka spluttered. 

“No? Everyone has at least one guardian angel I’d say, even if they aren’t aware of it, but I feel like a lot of people have multiple important people guiding and protecting them. Maybe each angel’s influence means different things to them, maybe each one protects them from a different thing, but people aren’t limited to only having a single precious person, are they? I personally have four guardian angels!” 

“Four?” Iruka asked before stopping himself.

“Of course!” He reached for his flak jacket and pulled out a book that Iruka would have denied ever seeing while manifesting a massive blush. Icha-Icha Paradise. “The four main lovely ladies from this book! They’ve got me through some dark times, I tell you!” 

“Kakashi-san! This is a cemetery!” Iruka could only protest. 

“My bad, my bad!” Kakashi chuckled while putting away his book. 

The two stood together in silence for a while before Iruka decided to go back to finish off repairs. Kakashi-san waved him farewell, and Iruka spent the walk back to the village proper thinking about what the jounin had told him. 

_Do I really mean that much to Naruto?_

Still, even despite all that, Iruka was adamant that there already was someone watching out for the boy. There was just something about the whole situation. 

_Wonder who my guardian angel is. Sandaime-sama, maybe?_

It was only later that Iruka realised that Kakashi was probably lying about who his four were.  
_____________________________________________________________________________

 _Oh trust me, Naruto definitely already has a guardian angel._

Jiraiya smirked as he watched Kakashi and Iruka from a distance, grinning widely when Kakashi pulled out his Icha-Icha book. 

_Damn right they’re angels. I wrote them! They were inspired by the best of the best from the Land of Tea! All 10/10s! A couple even 11!_

After Iruka left, he stayed in position to watch Kakashi for a bit. It was not the least bit surprising that Sarutobi-sensei had chosen Kakashi to be Naruto’s jounin-sensei. The Copy Ninja had spent years wallowing in his own misery and guilt, feeling responsible for his sensei’s demise — it had been his job to protect Kushina throughout her pregnancy. Moreover, Kakashi had been Minato’s star student; of course he’d get to teach Minato’s son.

_Does that make me his grandsensei or something?_

Cackling to himself, Jiraiya decided to give Kakashi some privacy to mourn, and went to trail Iruka instead. He had been curious about the man since learning about his connection to Naruto, and the Toad Sanin wanted to check out everyone connected to the boy.

It was definitely not to distract him from anything. 

_Sarutobi-sensei was old. If you asked me, it’s surprising he didn’t snuff it earlier._

He definitely wasn’t following this random person on the pretext of investigation just to ignore his own sense of guilt. He was a wise sage with perfect control over his mind and emotions, after all. 

_Damn, check out the rack on her!_

Still, half an hour later, watching Iruka and a group of other chunin arguing about repairs and duties while lurking in the shadows, he was getting a little bored. He wanted to learn more about one of his godson’s precious people. 

Turns out that this certain precious person was supremely boring. 

He was almost about to leave when he noticed a girl not too far away, looking around nervously and twiddling her thumbs. Looking no older than 11 or 12, she looked like a genin, with a hitai-ate tied around her neck, dressed in a big cream coat, short, inky blue hair and a slight slouch. She was uncertainly swaying in one spot, looking as though she wanted to approach the group of chunin but couldn’t. 

Jiraiya came closer, still hidden but in spy mode, and carefully looked at her. 

There was a slip of paper, carefully folded and half-concealed in her hands. 

Her eyes were pale and pupilness, and her forehead was clear.

A Hyuuga girl of the main branch with a note in her hands. 

_Ah yes, Naruto’s… pen pal. From the hospital._

Jiraiya grinned slightly to himself, then walked over. 

“Can I help you with something?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was time for the funeral. Naruto wasn’t ready. 

The elation, the pride, the relief at having defeated Gaara hadn’t lasted long. He only had a moment to celebrate when he regained consciousness before he was told about Old Man Third. 

The Sandaime Hokage was no more. 

His apartment, which usually was fairly messy, was a complete disaster zone.

The Third had given him this apartment. 

His nightcap, the walrus that he was so attached to, was lying on the floor, carelessly thrown. 

The Third had given him that hat. 

Gama-chan, his trusty wallet, was on the kitchen table, its contents spilling onto the floor. 

The Third had given him that. 

It was no lie that the two weren’t particularly close. The Sandaime Hokage was the most powerful man in the village, and consequently the busiest. He had very little time to spend with his own family, to the point where Konohamaru started acting out, so it was no surprise that Naruto hadn’t seen much of him over the years. Yet the old man still made the effort to check up on him once in a while, and though he now knew that the extra attention was probably due to his status as the Kyuubi’s cage, Naruto treasured every little thing the Hokage did for him. 

The Notes lay sprawled over his bed, Hinata’s tub of ointment lying near the headboard. Naruto had taken to rubbing the little tub while reading his guardian angel’s old messages as an additional stress relieving method. Why that tub, he wasn’t sure, but he’d be lying if he said that it wasn’t effective. 

He hadn’t gotten a new Note in months. Yes, he still had the old ones to read, and he did, almost every night now. 

It wasn’t the same. 

Old Man Third was gone. The apartment, the cap and Gama-chan were still with him. 

It wasn’t the same. 

_That’s two people now, huh._

Finally, he decided that it would be rude to show up late, especially today. He put on his formal black clothes, put away his forehead protector, and packed away the Notes. He gave the tub one last squeeze, finding comfort in its solidity, and dejectedly walked to his door. 

He missed the slip of paper that had been slid under his door. A slip of paper, with neat writing in orange ink. 

But that wasn’t a problem. He would find it when he came back, after talking with Iruka about the Will of Fire. He would smile and feel immense warmth spread through his chest later, and then jump around his apartment in jubilation later. 

His guardian angel wasn’t gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled to write this chapter for a while now (I managed to write all three chapters of Harbinger of Light, plus that extra last chapter that no one really wanted, all while trying to write this), not because I didn't have any ideas or didn't know what I wanted to do with this, I just didn't know how to approach it. I write before bed and when I wake up, mostly to vent, so most of what I write is usually slightly incoherent, but I don't really want to do that. Subtlety! Symbolism! Themes! Motifs! Some basic literary value! I want to try developing those, and while obviously those skills won't come overnight, I want to get a start on that. Also, I tend to have a lot of fluff when I write (by that I don't mean fanfiction fluff, but rather, excess and unnecessary padding) because I don't know where to draw the line between over- and under-explained (I want to be subtle but I also want my vision to be really clear to a reader), so I just end up describing the same small detail for paragraphs and repeat myself constantly. I don't like to read that, and I don't really want to write like that, so I'm trying to be a little more critical with my editing (who am I kidding, my 'editing' is just fast proofreading). I'd love feedback on how that's all going. Also, I asked about introspection some chapters ago, but now I realise that, as this is pretty much just a 'behind the scenes' fic, this will probably be 95% introspection. 
> 
> I tried to emulate 'weird folktale aimed at children' with Temari's story, and tried to change the writing to match how a little girl would probably tell a story. I hope it wasn't too cringe. Also, does the title fit the chapter? Originally it was just going to be 'Guardian Angels', but I feel like 'Soliloquy of the Lonely' has a nice ring to it.


	7. Angel’s Farewell (Sasuke Retrieval)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's bonds come into question, and after someone tries to sever their bond with him, he makes an important decision to get them back. What will his guardian angel do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

_Oh_

_I see_

The feelings he had back in the Second Round of the Chunin Exams were back. Back in the Forest of Death, unsure of whether they’d pass or even survive, Naruto had seen something between Sasuke and Sakura. A spark. Naruto, who wasn’t very socially skilled or tactful or good at noticing things, had nevertheless spent his entire childhood watching others enviously, observing from afar the familial relations he longed to experience himself. He also had spent several months training with the two, and could notice changes as large as this one. The way Sasuke was more respectful, or less dismissive, or less aloof. The way Sakura was quieter, more assertive, stronger. It made him confused back. It did not anymore. 

He knew exactly what was happening. 

Sasuke had been comatose from when Naruto and the Pervy Sage had just left Konoha, up to a week after Granny Tsunade’s return to the village. Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke had to wait for a few days after the Sanin’s arrival, as she had to deal with meetings, paperwork and the other details of becoming Hokage. In all that time, Naruto had only seen Sakura for a couple of times, saw the desperation and conviction in her, the hope that glittered in her pretty green eyes when she heard that the solution was near. 

She was hugging him now. Sakura, and Sasuke. 

And Naruto was there on the sidelines, alone, as he always was. 

Separate, from his own team.

He was happy. He really was. Beneath Sakura’s seemingly shallow and aggressive demeanour, beneath Sasuke’s distant gaze and cold, unapproachable exterior, they were genuinely good people. They deserved happiness. They deserved each other. And, as Naruto watched Sakura hugging the finally awake Sasuke, watched her hold the bedraggled and dazed Uchiha, he really thought that they felt the same way. 

So why did it hurt so much? 

Naruto liked Sakura, at least, he thought he did. What wasn’t there to like? Pretty face, exotic, pretty hair, pretty green eyes, pretty smile, cute behaviour. Everything about her was pretty, and from their months as teammates, he thought that things were going fairly well between them. It was natural to feel pain when the person you loved loved another, right? 

_Do I love Sakura?_

Did he? 

What’s the difference between like and love? 

Sure, she was pretty, and smart, and they got on well. Sure, he wanted to go on a date with her, not just to prove that he could but because he thought it might be fun. But did he want to be _with_ her? 

He’s certain that Sakura loves Sasuke. The other girls, Ino for instance, they acted differently. They were loud, and clingy, like Sakura was. But Naruto had watched the way wives would tenderly smile at their husband, and the soft gaze they received in return. He thought he saw it with Sakura and Sasuke. 

Was the pain because he didn’t have Sakura’s love, specifically? 

Or was it the pain of not having someone, period?

During his time in the Academy, he had written back and forth with his guardian angel. He wouldn’t just thank them, he would ask them questions, tell them about his progress. They wouldn’t just give tips and advice or encouragement, but answer his questions, mention small things in passing, interests, likes, opinions. He thought he really got to know them. Later on, after seeing Hinata struck down by Neji after putting in so much effort, he had taken to writing to her every night after training with Pervy Sage, taking them to Kurenai-sensei, who would ‘secretly’ deliver his messages. Writing to her felt great — amazing, even. He didn’t want her to know, because he thought she’d find it lame, but he inadvertently would write about his training, or just about random things, and it really felt like he was back in the Academy, writing to his guardian angel. It felt like he was writing to them again, the freedom, the way he could just lay his heart bare. Just over halfway through the month, though, Kurenai told him that Hinata was going to be released from the hospital, and that ended there. He couldn’t help but feel a little devastated. Writing to Hinata really felt like excellent stress relief, as much as reading his guardian angel did, and he turned to training even harder and more brutally to cope with that. 

Eventually, after the Chunin Exams ended, after Suna and Oto’s attack on Konoha was stopped, after Old Man Third’s funeral, he found it. His guardian angel had left him a Note. A brand new, newly written Note. His guardian angel knew where he lived! He was thrilled, and truly happy beyond imagination. It was a simple one, a short congratulatory statement on his defeat of Neji, and a message of condolence on account of Old Man Third’s passing, but he nevertheless spent the rest of that day reading and re-reading it. It broke his heart when he realised he couldn’t reply like he used to. 

He had left to find Granny Tsunade almost immediately after, and since then had received no new Notes. 

It was misery, the knowledge that his guardian angel knew where he lived, but didn’t leave him any more Notes, or even come to visit him. 

Was it just that? Envy? That they had each other, while his best friend, his guardian angel, was still out there, mysterious and elusive? 

Or was it the feeling of isolation crawling back, the knowledge that even in his own team, if Sakura and Sasuke were truly together, like they were just now, on Sasuke’s hospital bed, in their own little world and oblivious to Granny Tsunade, and Miss Shizune, and their own teammate, then Naruto would be abandoned. Of course, if the two started going out, then Naruto was sure that they wouldn’t have as much time for him. The bonds he worked so hard to finally form with them wouldn’t mean as much as the one they had with each other. 

So he smiled at them. He walked away to give them space. There was nothing else he could do.

_Sakura, and Ino, and all the other girls, crawling over Sasuke. He wins again. He always wins. I’m no genius, how did I ever think of going against him?_

_Hinata never seemed to like Sasuke like that, though. She wasn’t a fangirl,_ Naruto thought suddenly. _Didn’t she say that she doesn’t think that what Sasuke has is true strength? Yeah, she’s right, Neji’s stronger than Sasuke, and I beat that punk up real nice. I mastered the Rasengan too. All they have is talent and genius._

Naruto, walking outside of Sasuke’s hospital room, and grinned to himself for instance, momentarily cheered up. _It’s fine, the strength to keep getting up, that’s what I have! Who cares if Sakura likes or loves that bastard, I’m just as strong or even stronger than him, ya know!_

He raised his fist high, eyes sparkling. 

He lowered it. 

_Still…_

But that thought could wait. 

“Granny, it’s Kakashi-sensei’s turn now.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was all so wrong. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. 

He had thought things through after his fight with Sasuke. He had accepted it. He had accepted that Sasuke and Sakura were closer together, and that he’d just have to cheer them on from the side. He accepted that even if Sasuke and Sakura’s bond was stronger, that didn’t make his bond with them any less significant. He accepted that bonds were something unbreakable, and even if people like Old Man Third were gone, the bond you shared with them wouldn’t. He accepted that his guardian angel was there, and that they too had a bond. 

He had accepted it all. 

_Damn it!_

He could feel the rage pouring out of him as he stared down at Sasuke, thoughts blurring, everything hazy, shrouded in cloudy red. Naruto could hardly feel it as he smashed his fist into the air, creating a shock wave that blasted straight at Sasuke. Barely aware of what he was doing, his feelings and the Fox’s merging, their instincts blurring together, he charged, faster than he had ever run before, driving his fist into the idiot’s abdomen, once, twice, five times, before kicking him as hard as he could, hardly thinking of his teammate’s wellbeing as he was filled with the overwhelming urge to release all of his frustration and anger at him. 

_Why doesn’t he get it?_

Overcome by the intense fire, he slammed Sasuke into the water, as deep as he could. He wanted to punish his teammate for daring to try and sever their bond, to cast Naruto back into the dark pit of loneliness he had thought he climbed out of. He wanted to punch Sasuke, to kick him, to tear and claw and bite at him. To hurt him. 

_I won’t lose another bond._

_Not when I just formed it._

_I WON’T!_

Sasuke had called Naruto his best friend. Best friend, a concept Naruto always watched from the background, wondering if he would ever taste such a thing. He had it when the Notes started coming, but his guardian angel was elusive. Though he considered them his best friend, that sentiment was never reciprocated. Sasuke, though, had finally acknowledged him. 

He was going to beat the crap about that smug little genius. 

Striking at the Uchiha through the water, he saw the fear in Sasuke's eyes and a deep sense of hunger and bloodlust rolled through him. In his core, there was a powerful urge to see more of that fear, and for a brief moment, Naruto felt fear of his own at that sensation, as he felt a malicious desire, a hatred so familiar yet so foreign to him, manifest inside of him, radiating, oozing through his muscles, addling his brain. This feeling… was scaring him. 

_Sasuke… was trying to kill me…_

_**The brat was trying to kill us both** _

Furiously, he lunged at the Uchiha, who desperately formed a fireball to counter the crazed jinchuriki. The Kyuubi’s power flared within him, pouring through his chakra network and gut and veins like molten lava, and he roared at puny ninjutsu, unleashing a shock wave so powerful it rocked the entire Valley. 

_I worked. Too. Hard. I tried. Everything. All that training. The NOTES. IT WON’T END LIKE THIS!_

And the Kyuubi growled its approval as Naruto threw Sasuke into the rocky cliff, crashing into it himself and grabbing the deserter by the collar. 

“Come to your senses already! If you don’t, I’ll just have to break every bone in your body and DRAG you home!!” 

The rage boiling inside of him subsided at the sight of Sasuke’s beaten state, and he felt the flames of the Kyuubi receding a bit, remorse beginning to bite at him. Sasuke was down. There was no need to lose his mind completely. He had just been overwhelmed earlier, that’s what made him lose control like that. This was his friend. Someone who considered him their “best friend”. 

He had promised Sakura that he’d bring Sasuke back. 

“Shut up”

Sasuke, who was beaten fairly horrifically, was miraculously still conscious, and, with so much of the Fox’s power still boiling in him, Naruto could feel something from his friend. Something… ominous. 

“How would you understand?” the deserter roared, and Naruto was blasted with pure killer intent as Sasuke began getting up, hatred burning in those Sharingan eyes. “You, who’s been alone from the start, how the hell would you be able to understand me?”

It was like a spear tore through his heart. This, this was why he was so desperate. He wanted to, and at the same time didn’t want to understand Sasuke’s agony. He wanted to understand what it felt like to have bonds so strong he would be this lost when they were broken, yet never wanted to feel them broken. He wanted to be that close to someone, his team, his guardian angel, but never lose them. 

Sasuke’s voice became quiet. He wasn’t yelling anymore, but his voice carried a powerful dark emotion in them that made Naruto want to fall to his knees and shake. “It’s because I had these bonds that I feel this agony. 

“How could you possibly understand what it’s like to lose it all?!” 

And Sasuke lunged, pushing them both off back into the water, flipping back to stand atop a log floating in the water. 

_He’s right. Even the guardian angel… they came back eventually. But Sasuke’s family…._

_I really don’t understand him._

_His… is a different loneliness. Like a hell separate from mine._

_But if he leaves… if one of the bonds that I worked so hard to form is broken..._

“It’s true that I don’t truly understand… how it feels to have siblings or parents, and what it’s like to lose them. But…” he sees the Notes, thousands of them, written with orange ink, in the dark, a winding trail of Notes leading into a bright light so far from his grasp, and standing by the trail, not quite on it but in the way, as though the trail wanted to bring to there first, was Iruka. “...when I’m with Iruka-sensei, I sometimes wonder… if that’s what it’s like to have a father.”

 _When I’m with you…_ he imagines Sasuke, and Sakura, a distant glimpse of silhouettes looking like Shikamaru, Choji and Kiba in the background. There is the blurred outline of someone standing close to him, reaching out to him, short and bulky, someone who feels familiar but who he can’t place a name on. He turned his focus only on Sasuke. _I wonder if this is what it is like to have a brother._

He wanted to stop Sasuke, and, seeing his teammate look so vulnerable, so weak and open, he thought that maybe, just maybe, Sasuke would come quietly. 

“Why would you go this far for me?” 

He knew already, though. What Sasuke would do. 

They were friends. Brothers. He may not understand Sasuke’s pain, but he understood his resolve.

_I can’t._

_Not now._

“This is a bond I’ve finally been able to make.”

_Guardian angel._

“That’s why I’ll stop at nothing to stop you.”

 _Help me._

The rest of the fight blurred as anger drove him. Every hit that Sasuke dogged, every clone he made that was struck out of existence, it all faded as one thing kept pounding in his head. Sasuke put on his hitai-ate, acknowledging Naruto as both his best friend and equal. 

He wasn’t paying much attention, barely paying attention as he was blasted by a powerful fireball, or when he was smashed headfirst into the rock below. It felt like he was in a limbo, walk awake, wake floating in a dream. He barely felt it when his limp and broken body floated away into the water.

_Guardian angel… Always… told me to focus…_

But he couldn’t concentrate. All of the things the Notes had told him felt like distant memories, inaccessible to him as dull thoughts pounded in his head. 

_Old Man Third, guardian angel, I can’t fail. I… I can’t._

_**You’re really weak, aren’t you? Well, I guess I’ll just have to help you out, then.** _

_**You asked your guardian angel for help?** _

_**I’ll be your guardian angel.** _

His body felt on fire, and an excruciating pain burned through every cell in his body as the Kyuubi’s vile chakra forced its way through his system, so thick and powerful it formed a visible cloak around him. Bones cracking from the pressure then instantly repairing, skin burning from the intense heat only to spontaneously heal before burning again, it felt as though his very body were tearing apart as the Fox’s power cut through him. It wasn’t just his anger anymore. 

_I can’t_

_I can’t fail._  
______________________________________________________________________________

_”Oi, Hinata, if we’re going to win this, you have to actually do something, ya know!_

_Naruto felt incredibly frustrated. Their class was conducting a practical field activity, a team-based obstacle course, and were split into twos. Feeling a little upset with his own teammate, he looked over enviously at Aiko, who was working well with Sakura, and at Kiba, who made a good team with Choji. Of all the people Iruka-sensei had to pair him up with, why Hinata?_

_It wasn’t that she was a bad person, of course, but she was far too timid and hesitant for them to be able to get anywhere. Not only that, but she refused to communicate properly with Naruto, and while he would have usually been glad to have the opportunity to take charge, this was a team exercise and thus required both teammates to pass._

_“Come on, at this rate we’ll be last in class!”_

_“I, oh, I just don’t, umm,” her voice went below what most people would consider a whisper, “think that this is a good approach.”_

_“Eh? What’d you say? Speak up, ya know!”_

_But Hinata had covered her mouth and shook her head, reluctantly passing the next clue back to him._

_“Alright then, here we go!”_

_He grabbed Hinata before she had the chance to object, then flung her over the high wall. Or tried to. She fell a little short, and only barely managed to land on her feet, looking red and shaken._

_“Sasuke-kun, you already finished/ You’re so amazing!”_

_He heard the distant calls of the Sasuke Fan Club and cursed. Sasuke already won! He was falling behind and it was all Hinata’s fault!_

_Not that he disliked her. They had some weird encounters when alone in the classroom, sure, but Naruto, who didn’t really have a standard for who to consider ‘friends’ decided that they got along well enough. Better than most kids did with him anyways. However, that was different. This was an actual assessed exercise and Hinata was going to cause him to fail! Endurance and stamina were big parts of it, two things he was actually good at, and with the Notes to guide him, Naruto had been confident in getting at least in the top 5._

_To be fair, they wouldn’t have been this far behind had Hinata not stopped to help Yui, who had scraped her knee. He tried thinking of that in consolation as he nervously kept watching Hinata, hoping that she would do something._

_“Come on, punishment for last place, everyone!”_

_Naruto cursed again, this time at Iruka-sensei’s overly cheerful tone, and knew that now, he and Hinata were going to be forced to do the most boring menial tasks. He looked over at Hinata in irritation._

_“What the hell is the matter with you? We’re gonna get punished because of you, why can’t… you…”_

_He couldn’t finish the sentence. Hinata’s lips were trembling, she was shaking, and she looked like she was about to cry._

_“Time’s about to finish! You only have a minute left!”_

_He ignored Iruka’s calls as he leaned forward to study Hinata a bit closer. At this, she hastily tried scrambling away, only to trip over one of the obstacles and fall down. She looked down, mortified, and Naruto, for a moment, almost thought that he had imagined what Hinata said._

_“I-I’m, I’m really sorry. I just, I got in your way. Even though, even though you were trying so hard. I-I’ll talk to Iruka-sensei. I’ll t-take the blame.”_

_He stared at her, incredulous. Take the blame? No one ever did that. Not just for him but for anyone._

_“And time’s up. Naruto, Hinata, looks like you were last.”_

_He finally registered that they were still in the middle of class and groaned at the announcement, much to the jeering and laughter of the class. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sasuke, who, though not looking directly at Naruto, seemed to be smirking and sharpening a kunai._

_That was him. Naruto was going to be Hokage, but first, he was going to have to surpass the top of the class. And to do that, he needed Sasuke to acknowledge him._

_He could easily blame Hinata. She was already willing to take the fall so that Naruto could avoid the punishment and humiliation. He’d be one step closer to racing Sasuke._

__“I’m always j-just getting in the way, m-messing it up for everyone else.” __

_“Actually, Iruka-sensei? It was me, it’s my fault, I was so clumsy that I dragged Hinata down with me, ya know! I just thought that this obstacle course was easy enough for me to complete alone, and messed it up for her, hee hee!”_

_Hinata looked surprised, and the shock rendered her speechless._

_“Yeah, at the second stage, you know how we first had to retrieve that scroll? Yeah, I thought I could get it without Hinata’s help. In the end she had to redo it for me!” It wasn’t technically a lie, it’s just that Hinata didn’t redo it completely on her own and looked like she was about to faint the entire time._

_At his loud proclamation, the entire class began to boo at him._

_“How dare you do that to Hinata-san?”_

_“There’s a time and a place for pranks, prick!”_

_“Why can’t you leave people alone?”_

_Iruka shook his head disapprovingly. “Naruto, it’s one thing to mess things up for yourself. It’s another to do that to your comrades. And this was a teamwork exercise! See me after class, Naruto. Shame on you.” He turned to Hinata and his expression softened. “Don’t worry, Hinata, I won’t punish you. It must have been hard, having to work with this guy. Now let’s get back into the classroom!”_

_This last part he yelled at the rest of the class, walking away and not noticing the way Naruto had stomped on Hinata’s foot. She had looked like she wanted to say something._

_She turned around slowly, completely red, and seemed to be asking him a question with her wide, still shocked eyes. Why?_

_He simply grinned and began walking away. “I’m used to it anyways, ya know!”_

_He had been frustrated with Hinata’s hesitancy. Yet, he couldn’t just let Hinata take on these punishments. He recalled all the nice things she did for their classmates, even during this exercise, and knew that she was performing these “punishments” on her own anyways._

_“What are friends for?”_

_They weren’t friends, not at all. Besides several awkward encounters, the most their relationship went was his asking her for her eraser. Nevertheless, she was nicer to him than most, and he wasn’t just going to sit there and let her suffer._

_So what if they weren’t “friends” by most people’s standards?_

_“I won’t do this next time though, ya know!” he laughed. “I still have Sasuke to beat!”_

Naruto would do anything for a friend. 

Anything.  
______________________________________________________________________________

The Pervy Sage visited him several times while he was at the hospital. Each time he left, Naruto found a Note on his bedside cabinet. 

_So, Pervy Sage’s my guardian angel’s messenger, kind of like Kurenai was to Hinata._

He didn’t feel the overwhelming joy he had felt after the Third’s funeral when receiving these. The sheer disappointment and self-loathing was enough to overcome that. However, they still warmed his heart, and made the pain bearable. 

_”I know you’ll get him back, Naruto-kun!”_

_“Try doing this chakra practice, it will help with….”_

_“Never give up! You can do it!_

It felt like he was back in the Academy again, reading the familiar handwriting. It was almost unbearable to think that, after finally getting word from his guardian angel, he would be going away again. 

_Three years._

But it was necessary. 

He had to get strong. 

_You’re strong! You can do anything you set your mind to!_

He smiled at the Notes. They reminded him of Hinata, the morning before the Third Exam.. 

Before all this mess started. 

_Hinata_

He didn’t know why, but he took comfort at the thought of her. The twinge of pain in his heart still tortured him every time he looked out of the window at the sun. He had failed to protect his bond, to keep his brother from leaving. He had failed Kakashi, had failed Sakura, and had failed his Ninja Way. And yet, he could somehow smile grimly as he remembered the fierce face of someone who shared the same Ninja Way, who was willing to fight for it to the death. 

That comfort and pain molded into steely resolve. He would get stronger. He would get stronger. 

He had to get stronger. 

He had a promise to keep. 

And he kept his promises. That was his Ninja Way.

A nurse walked in to tell him to go to sleep, that he’d be discharged tomorrow. He took one more look at the Notes, and closed his eyes to sleep. 

The steely resolve burst into a burning fire. 

_I will protect my bonds._

That night, he made one more promise. 

_Guardian angel, I will find you._

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

She smiled as she watched Naruto walking excitedly away, the old Sage by his side. Despite being a little scared by the old man initially, he had been truly helpful the past few days, and especially when Sandaime-sama passed away. 

_I just wish I could have done more. I’m such a coward._

She watched them for a bit longer, aware that Neji was not too far off, watching over her. 

_Naruto-kun has done so much for me. I’m so thankful._

They finally went out of sight, hidden behind the trees. Of course, she could have activated the Byakugan and watched them longer, but there was no point. She’d just continue to stare at Naruto’s receding back, the back she’s been watching for so long, and she promised to herself that she wouldn’t keep that. 

_I wish I could have actually said goodbye, though._

She looked up at the sky, pondering things for a moment, a contemplating expression on her face

“He’s done so much for his friends already,” she whispered to herself, “for me, for even the Hyuuga… and he’s still willing to do more.”

Looking back down from the sky, she saw that Neji had already walked over to her. His face was neutral, but Hinata knew that it was a soft and sympathetic expression that he was wearing. She was a Hyuuga, after all. 

“Shall we train, Hinata-sama?” 

A shy smile broke out on her face, and she nodded, turning to walk back to the Hyuuga compound, side by side with her cousin.

_This is how it should be in the Hyuuga clan._

_Naruto started the transformation._

_I want to continue that transformation, for myself and for the clan._

_I will finish what you started Naruto-kun, and when you come back, I won’t be the same, weak, helpless girl too scared to even say goodbye to you. That’s a promise._

_And I never go back on my promises._

That was their Ninja Way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, Sasuke's gone, and the curtain closes on Naruto Classic. Next time, Shippuden, baby!... is what I'd like to say but I have one more chapter planned in Pre-TIme Skip. But after that, it's time for Shippuden, baby!
> 
> I might go back and edit this chapter again at a later date, I'm a bit unsure about the pacing.
> 
> Next chapter: The Bedridden Angel.
> 
> Side note:I have this thing about exclamation points. I dislike using them because they just feel so comical. In fact, I had made the deliberate decision not to use exclamation points in the past, and know for a fact that I didn’t use a single one for almost 4 years until a few months ago. I feel like they’re _too_ cheerful and too disingenuous. Just… over the top. But since the quarantine and coronavirus (plus, replying to comments), I’ve had to communicate way more through text, and I realised that at times, ending sentences where you are genuinely really thankful and appreciative with just full stops feels… lukewarm and too formal. It makes the sentence feel devoid of emotion or enthusiasm. Empty. But exclamation marks are too much. There really should be an additional punctuation mark that’s halfway in between, so that it's still calm but also sincere without being overly excited, like a dot with a triangle over it or something. Am I just being weird?
> 
> Another quick tangent, I’m not a native English speaker, but I learned English from British people, so I tend to spell in the British way but most of the content that I consume is from the US, so I just end up being very inconsistent with everything, and end up mixing them together (I write 'realised', not 'realized', but I pronounce z 'zee', not 'zed'). So apologies for that.


	8. Extra II: Angel in Darkness (Chunin Exams)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone doing some serious reflecting right after a certain defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something a bit different this time. Honestly, short as it is, I really like this one.
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s odd how peaceful dying was. Her body, aching from the short fight, was going numb, and she could hardly feel the anguishing throbbing coming from her chakra network as it struggled to push chakra through closed tenketsu. She felt all of her energy drain out of her as she lay there in humiliating defeat, having barely been able to even give her cousin a proper challenge, but it hardly mattered as her mind became clear, and an odd sense of calm overcame her. 

_It's like falling asleep, but faster and easier._

Suddenly, it was like she was looking up into the dazzling sky as two pairs of the most beautiful blue eyes swam into focus above her, accompanied by shining golden sunlight, no, blond spiky hair. The warmth that would ordinarily wash over her entire body at this sight was missing as she began to feel weightless, but as the haze of unconsciousness began to overtake her, she heard a voice. A wonderful voice that she spent so long associating with overconfident declarations and heavy panting from training and frustrated cursing then tore through the curtain settling over her, and in a brief moment of clarity, she remembered what was going on. 

“Naruto...kun.” 

Kiba was right in the end. Neji simply destroyed her. She should have simply withdrawn from the match when it was announced. That would have saved her from this farce of a battle. That would have saved her from shaming her father for losing to a branch member as a main family Hyuuga. That would have saved Neji from the cutting words she blurted out in the moment. 

That would have saved her from losing in front of Naruto 

She wanted to roll up into a ball and die. To be so thoroughly beaten like this in front of so many people, in front of the Lord Hokage! It killed her every time when she failed in front of her father, who was used to her being a disappointment. This was worse. 

_Kurenai-sensei shouldn’t have let me try for Chunin._

_Hokage-sama and Iruka-sensei shouldn’t have let me graduate to Genin._

She looked up at Naruto’s eyes, usually so bright but now filled with deep concern. He never looked at her like that. In the many times they interacted in the Academy, he never once paid her his full attention.

_What’s different this time?_

He had helped her out many times, but she could never even muster up the courage to approach him, never get herself to defy her clan’s orders. She didn’t deserve to admire someone so kind and strong. He was right not to have any interest in her, as a friend or otherwise. 

He only cared now because she was a hurt comrade, nothing more. 

_“Don’t get hung up on your losses! You always get up and keep trying after failing, and that’s good!”_

She had said that. She had said that to Naruto. Though it was through their bizarre pen-pal system, and Naruto had no idea that it was her who had said that, she still told him that. 

Why couldn’t she take her own advice?

 _Because I’m weak._

She was a fool. Naruto didn’t need those messages. He was too strong for them. He would have gotten far through his hard work alone. He beat Kiba without having read a single message from her for months. He looked lonely, but his heart was strong, and he ended up making friends even after their ‘correspondence’ ended, meaning that he didn’t need help to accomplish anything. Meaning that her efforts were worthless, as they always were. 

She had deluded herself into thinking that his replies were more than just polite words of thanks. He was kind. 

But… he was also honest.

“Naruto...kun… Do you… think” _that I change myself? Even a bit?_

Darkness consumed the sky and the sunlight, and she became trapped in a suffocating expanse of emptiness, leaving her only to her own thoughts and she floated in limbo. 

_Naruto-kun finally noticed me. But…_

He was a fundamentally good person, of course he would cheer for her, she was up against a prodigy. Hadn’t he cheered as enthusiastically for Sakura as well? In the end, he only saw her because she was a pathetic underdog, with no will or drive to win.

She lost. Utterly and pathetically lost.

_Of course not._

_Naruto-kun is just special. There’s always an exception._

_Neji-niisan was right. He’s always right. He’s the Hyuuga genius, after all._

_You can’t change. Destiny can’t change._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE INTROSPECTION! I was planning on writing a far longer chapter from Hinata's perspective going from the First Exam all the way up to Naruto's departure, but I think that this is more effective. More... poignant. 
> 
> Keep in mind that this is all from Hinata's perspective right at the moment of defeat. Her feelings change while in the hospital and receiving Naruto's messages.
> 
> Also, if anyone's interested, I wrote another fic set in the Lotusverse (this weird rewrite thing I have of Naruto) that explains backstories in the universe within a Naruhina context. It's "Tales of the Six Paths" and I hope to update it often.


	9. Hero's Coming Back (Pre-Kazekage Rescue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Naruto's return to the village looming closer, the former Team 8 is sent on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah-oh, we’re halfway the-ere, woah-oh, living on a — *Cough* Sorry ‘bout that, we’re at the halfway point is what I meant to say. Anyways, I had been considering for a while whether to make story this anime compliant (so, including fillers) or strictly just manga, and decided that I’ll ignore anime filler and focus just on manga canon (with the exception of Hinata’s Protective Eight Trigrams Sixty Four Palms because honestly, it’s sick as hell and one of my favourite attacks in the Ultimate Ninja Storm series). Also, is it just me or was filler in Naruto classic much better than in Shippuden? Remember how Naruto, Hinata and Kiba always formed a three man cell in those episodes for no reason? Those were some of my favourite filler episodes.
> 
> Speaking of favourite filler episodes (awesome segue, I know, applause are unnecessary), I think this chapter came out pretty well! I quite enjoyed writing it. It's the longest one yet, as well. I actually was originally writing something very different, but decided it didn't fit in the main story. It's Team Kurenai on a mission to protect a trade negotiation between Fire and Water, and has stuff about the Hyuuga, anyone interested?. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy~
> 
> PS: Apparently Hinata got an F in positivity in the Academy, but an A in attitude. Naruto got the reverse.

_”Hinata! Is everything alright?’_

_As expected, Choji was the first one to actually notice. Everyone else was in their own littles worlds, fawning over Sasuke, discussing the latest manga, or frantically finishing their homework. Besides, it wasn’t like she was begging for attention; she tried desperately to keep her limp to a minimum, and had her hood up to keep her face in the shadows. No one in their class even looked at her — she preferred it that way._

_“Hey Hinata, you don’t look so good. Are you okay?”_

_Seeing his best friend by her, Shikamaru groaned something that sounded like “girls are a pain” and came over, hands in pockets. He frowned when he came close, and she flinched, trying to hide in her big warm coat._

_“Th-thank you f-for your concern, Ch-Choji-kun. I… I’m o-kay.”_

_“No you’re not. You look terrible.” Shikamaru’s sharp words cut deeply, reawakening her shame and making her cover her face with her hands. “It looks like you were attacked. What happened to you?”_

_“Yeah, Hinata, you gotta tell us! We can help!” Choji smiled softly, though Hinata couldn’t see, and went to hold her shoulder reassuringly. He leaned down and held up a bag of chips. Hearing the rustling plastic, she peeked at the bag from between her fingers. “Here, how about you have some chips while you tell us? I always find that eating helps me calm down.”_

_Strange, Hinata always found that cooking helped her more — a shame since she was rarely allowed to cook, as it was ‘unbefitting’ of the clan heir to waste time doing menial work like that._

_“Hey, hey! What are you harassing Hinata for?”_

_That voice. Naruto was here._

_“Come on guys! Hinata’s like a bat, ya know! She likes being alone and the dark and stuff, stop crowding around her!”_

_He appeared right in front of her, and shut her eyes close. His appearance was sudden, startling, like being thrown into a cold river. Or, in her case, a river of flames._

_“We’re not harassing Hinata, we’re trying to help. It looks like someone really hurt her!”_

_“What! Hinata, show me!”_

_“Stop grabbing her like that!”_

_“We should tell Iruka-sensei!”_

_“What a pain.”_

_“Did you at least fight back? If it were me I’d give those pricks a piece of my mind, ya know!”_

_“You’re being really rough, Naruto! If she doesn’t want to show you, then you shouldn’t force her to!”_

_They’re crowding around her, and she can’t help but feel like she was being suffocated. Choji’s hand was still on her shoulder, and Naruto had grasped both her wrists. Their voices were loud, too loud. They were demanding, so demanding._

_It was like she was surrounded by the elders again, looking at her pathetic, beaten body._

_The voices grew louder. One of the girls had intervened, shrilly demanding that they leave her alone while standing right behind her. Was it Miko-chan or Sakura-san, she couldn’t tell, they sounded the same._

_More voices flooded over. A girl’s hand landed on her back, not too softly either, and she cringed in pain as it hit her when _he_ had hit her the other day. What sounded like Ino-san’s bossy voice was loud in her left ear, loud and aggressive, but she couldn’t understand a single thing, Naruto’s hands were still on her wrists. _

_It was too much. Naruto was too close. They were all too close._

_She was getting dizzy. Was it a side effect of the people, or from the injuries she hadn’t had time to recover from?_

_“Why are you disgusting boys crowding around her!”_

_“You made me drop my chips!”_

_“Don’t touch her!”_

_“Hey, she’s hurt, ya know!”_

_“Hey, you made me step on the fatass’ chips!”_

_“Hey, I’m not fat!”_

_“Get away, Naruto!”_

_“Sasuke, make them stop!”_

_“What a pain.”_

_“This is highly illogical.”_

_“Hinata just doesn’t want to talk to you guys!”_

_“Hey, she’s shaking like crazy!”_

_“Hinata!”_

_“Get your hands off of her, Naruto!”_

_“Yeah it’s probably your fault!”_

_“Everyone, please move away! NOW!”_

_Itt was like a massive pressure lifted from her chest. The voices that had been crushing her down disappeared, and what sounded like the entire class shuffling away nervously hit her ears. Heart racing, hyperventilating, she didn’t even know it had escalated this far. Had it been a minute since Naruto came, or ten?_

_“Iruka-sensei, it was Naruto…!”_

_“That’s enough! Everyone, get back to your seats. Please!”_

_She was trembling, and hardly heard her classmates take their seats._

_“Hinata?” This voice was gentle, quiet. Warm._

_Iruka-sensei._

_“Can you come with me to the hall?”_

_It took her a few moments, but she managed to nod once, and, without removing the hands still covering her face, got up and walked out of the classroom._

_There was whispering as Iruka went to close the door. It sounded like the entire class was talking, but she only heard one voice: “weirdo.”_

_She gripped became tighter._

_“Hinata,” Iruka spoke, crouching down in front of her, and thankfully not holding her shoulder or touching her in any way. “Can you tell me what happened? Take as long as you want.”_

_It had started so suddenly. No one had noticed when it was just Choji and Shikamaru, but when Naruto joined, suddenly everyone had started berating him, and out of nowhere, everyone began yelling around her. Naruto had made her so nervous. It was embarrassing to have the attention of one you spent so long watching, after all, but then everything became so loud._

_She didn’t want to say anything, didn’t like the attention, didn’t want it. But this was Iruka-sensei._

_“I…” she mustered all of her strength, and spoke, “had a, umm, a sparring match. Last night. I.. I g-got hurt. Little… accident. Everyone just wanted t-to help.”_

_It was certainly true that the Hyuuga clan held a series of sparring matches between the younger clan members the other night. It was certainly not true that her various injuries were accidental._

_Nothing Neji did was accidental._

_She shamefully removed her hands, and heard Iruka-sensei gasp. “I-I’m… very sorry. P-Please, forgive them.”_

_Iruka-sensei’s eyes were warm, kind, a complete contrast to those of the Hyuuga. They actually reminded her of someone else._

_“Okay, if you want me to. But I’ll still tell them off! Crowding around someone who was clearly uncomfortable… Look, don’t worry about class today, just go to the nurse, okay.”_

_It was her turn to gasp. “I c-can’t go t-to the nurse. I-I’m fine. And I c-can’t skip c-class.”_

_“Well, at least take a few hours to relax, okay? Go out to the yard, I find that doing ninja stretches really help with the nerves. I promise you, we won’t be covering anything that you don’t actually know already. I know that you’re actually really smart, you just don’t like bragging about it.”_

_She didn’t have the strength to protest, and couldn’t say no to such a caring and cheerful face, so she simply nodded, and limped out into the grounds. She settled on Naruto’s usual swing and stared up at the building._

_In the end, she accomplished nothing other than humiliating herself two days in a row. She ended up losing herself when the person she admired so much happened to get slightly closer to her, and gave the entire class a show. Why did they have to be there? Why did they have to be so close?_

_Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she sat there, lonely, on Naruto’s swing, and watched her class go about their lessons through her Byakugan. For what was probably the millionth time she watched the way her classmates treated Naruto. Today, they seemed particularly nasty, most likely incensed by what happened this morning._

_“They… blame Naruto-kun, don’t they?”_

_Truth be told, it was him who got too close, who’s sheer volume attracted the rest of the crowd. But he had good intentions, and she couldn’t blame him for it. It was her failure, really. She should have told him to stop. She should have just given in to Choji’s concerns and told them what happened before they attracted Naruto’s attention._

_She shouldn’t have lost to Neji._

_Far greater than the shame she carried from being a disappointment to her family was the guilt she felt for not being able to help Naruto. Held back by her caretakers, fear and her own accursed shyness, she liked to think that Naruto was strong enough not to be truly bothered by all that happened to him. And yet, no matter how confident Naruto looked, Hinata could see through it. It was the same front she had tried a long time ago, a front that she herself couldn’t keep up for long. Yet Naruto’s mask was impeccable, to the point that she was sure Naruto had fooled himself. But she knew better. She knew from watching him train, watching his frustrated tantrums whenever he couldn’t do something._

_She wanted to help him._

_She saw herself and her distance as no better than what the rest of the village was doing. What, were simple thoughts and prayers supposed to make her a better person?_

_And now, because of her, he was in deeper trouble._

_She had to do something._

_But, though she tried many times before, she couldn’t make herself do it. She couldn’t gather the strength to approach him, nor did she think he wanted her to approach him. She was no Ino, or Sakura, or anyone even a sliver more respectable than her. Naruto said it himself. To him, she was nothing more than a bat — a weirdo. Someone who got him into trouble. No, she couldn’t approach him directly._

_She needed a different way._

_From Naruto’s swing, she gazed curiously as, a few seats away from the sulking blond boy, Sakura shyly tried to pass a note to an indifferent Sasuke. A love message of sorts, judging from the pink hearts._

_“That could work.”_  
______________________________________________________________________________

Beautiful, sunny days were the norm in Konoha. The constant shade provided by the multitude of mighty trees surrounding the village did more than to simply keep it hidden, and the cool, gentle breeze carried fallen leaves as it soothingly caressed the faces of Team Kurenai. 

Checking out by the Aun Gate, they began running, taking to the trees as they smoothly glided through the branches. It was their fourth or fifth mission in a row without Kurenai, but that was quickly becoming the norm too. Since becoming chunin, they were set more and more missions matching their tracking specialities, and the genjutsu master was considered unnecessary. 

Theirs was a B-rank mission that would take them close to a month to complete, taking place in the Land of Iron. They were to work closely with the local authorities, and with the samurai. 

“Why are we being sent to the Land of Iron? It’s all snowy! Shino will be useless!” Akamaru barked in agreement with his partner’s complaint. 

“While it is true that the effectiveness of my abilities will be inhibited by the cold, I will most certainly not be useless. The reason is because I am bringing the clan’s specially bred temperature adaptive kikaichu. Furthermore, I have been—”

“I’d much rather be sent on that recon mission to the Land of Forests, now wouldn’t that be nice, eh? No snow, no cold, just shade and berries.” 

“I do not appreciate being cut off or ignor—”

“Seriously, I get that we used to be called the ‘Arctic Trio’ because we all used to wear coats all the time, but this is a bit too much, isn’t it?” 

“Oh, I think it’s because we worked with the client and these specific samurai before. It is surprising that Tsunade-sama didn’t give more experience jounin this mission, but considering our mission to the Land of Tea recently, we’d have the most understanding of the people involved in this mission, so we would be the most effective. And play nice, Kiba-kun. I think Shino’s sulking.” 

They travelled through the forest, Kiba, grumbling astride his massive ninken, wearing the leather jacket he had started wearing a few weeks ago, convinced it would help attract the ladies (it did not); Shino, who began making sure he would be completely unrecognisable in his hood not too long after Tsunade-sama took office, was silent in an offended manner; and Hinata, smiling fondly at her teammates, gracefully flying from tree to tree. The past two and a half years were good for the Hyuuga; with her shimmering dark blue hair flowing behind her, she exuded a quiet calm and a sense of confident — not in an obvious way, but like a dove that knows what it's doing as it soars through the sky. There was no showing off, just pure understanding of her own abilities. She had gotten stronger, and with that strength came a great deal with self-esteem. 

She had truly grown up.

“You know, I forgot to mention, I was having some dango with Team Asuma and Sakura the other day, and apparently, Sakura said that Shizune-san said that Hokage-sama said thaaaat... Naruto should be back soon.”

Crash. 

“Hinata!”

She had slipped on a branch and went tumbling down towards the earth, years of training and experience as a kunoichi failing her as she slammed into the forest floor below and lay in an undignified heap. 

“What the hell? Hinata!” 

“That was most tactless, bringing up Naruto like that. The reason is because—-”

“Yeah yeah, I know the reason! She’s madly in love with him and all that, I know! I just wanted to tease, I never expected her to go all ‘eep’ and fall like a dying mongoose.” 

“Wha-what? I-I’m not m-madly in l-l-l— I don’t l-like him like th-that! I-I just really admire him!” Hinata cried while shakily getting to her feet, her face and jacket covered in grass and leaves and dirt, her hair, straight and elegant a minute ago, now messy at the front. 

Kiba looked at her with a pitying expression. Akamaru hid his head under his paws and Shino adjusted his glasses. 

“You deny it every time. Come on, Hinata, admit that you are deeply in love with him already, and we can start helping you out. Assassinating Sakura shouldn’t be too difficult, we’ll just—” 

Hinata blanched “No! I mean, p-please, don’t, K-Kiba-kun. I don’t—”

“We’ll have to make sure to erase the evidence carefully. The reason is because she is the Hokage’s pupil,” Shino continued on Kiba's thread. 

“P-please, you guys—” 

“I’m sure we’ll be able to convince Ino to help you work on your wardrobe, ya know, to make Naruto swoon and everything,” Kiba snickered. 

“I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH NARUTO-KUN!” 

They stared at her in astonishment. She gulped, mortified. 

“I-I mean, I, uh, I don’t… I-I just think he’s… inspiring....Yes, he, he inspired me!” 

“Inspired you to want to smooch him?” 

“Kiba, I think we should stop before she spontaneously combusts.” 

Relieved, she took the opportunity to try and collect herself. She did the meditation practices her father had drilled into her, breathing deeply. She finally noticed the dirt and grass stains on her jacket, frowning slightly. Shino and Kiba were like brothers to her; they talked about everything under the sun, and with the two of them, she felt a genuine comfort that she struggled to feel anywhere else. Team Kurenai was a safe haven for her. That didn’t mean that she was safe from teasing, but usually, she had fun with it too. 

It was not fun when it was about Naruto. 

“Shino-kun, Kiba-kun, I… I don’t like Naruto-kun that way. I just think that he’s a great role model, and that he was the things that I lack. I think he’s really cool, and that it’s… wonderful how hard he tries and how determined he is. You remember how I used to be, right? The way he was loud and so bright and so cheerful, I wished I could be like that.” A dreamy look crossed over her face. “He struggled so much, and he had it so hard in life. Everyone disliked him, and he had no friends or family. But that never stopped him. He was so lonely, yet he never gave up. Everytime he was kicked down, or failed, he kept getting back up, and I just think that that is the truest strength anyone could possess. Plus, he was always really kind, even if it didn’t seem like it. He legitimately cares, even if he is a bit blunt and rough around the edges. Not to mention how honest he is. As ninja, everything we do revolves around secrets and half-truths and hiding our true feelings, but Naruto was never like that, he never hid his feelings, and I think that if everyone was like that, the world would truly be a happier place.” She smiled brightly at this. 

Kiba, Akamaru and Shino all shared a look. 

“Besides,” she continued, a little melancholy in her eyes, “he likes Sakura. Even if I did like him, it wouldn’t ever amount to anything. Even if Sasuke is ever brought back, I’m sure Naruto’s light will eventually captivate Sakura. They’re so similar, I’m sure they’d be happiest together. Sakura’s such a wonderful person, and Naruto deserves the best.” 

Kiba stepped forward. “Look, Hinata—”

“Hinata.” That was Shino, placing a firm hand on Kiba to stop him from blurting out something too blunt. 

“Shino-kun,” Hinata replied in her most dignified voice, standing up straight (with pride, as Neji had told her to do) and tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear. 

“I think it’s time we had this conversation, seeing how Naruto might be back soon. We know that you care about him, and that he thinks highly of you. We know about what you and Naruto did before he left.” 

Hinata froze midway through trying to dust off her pants as gracefully as she could.

“We know you two two did it before the Final Round of the Chunin Exams back then too.” 

She grabbed her face in alarm, turning a scorching red and leapt backwards, looking wide eyed towards Shino then at Kiba and Akamaru. _Kurenai-sensei!_

They knew? They knew about the Messages? They knew that she and Naruto had been exchanging messages from before his fight against Neji and before he left with Jiraiya-sama? 

Hinata remembered the first time Kurenai came and left behind a Message from Naruto. Recuperating in the hospital, she had been perplexed by the little slip of paper that had been innocently abandoned on her bedside table, but upon seeing the writing in purple crayon, she instantly recognised the hand writing. She and Naruto had maintained a steady correspondence back in the Academy, after all, and she cherished each reply she would receive from him. Not only were the Messages a chance for her to secretly support Naruto, his replies became an incredible comfort to her, getting her through many bleak and stressful days. It was validation that she was capable of doing _something_ worthwhile. Ending the Messages after she and Naruto became genin had been heartbreaking. Moreover, Hinata had been utterly convinced that Naruto didn’t have a single shred of proof that it was her, not even the remotest suspicion. It had allowed her to be slightly more brazen, more open and more critical, that sense of anonymity. 

However… 

The piece of paper sitting by her side was physical proof that Naruto knew who his… pen pal was all along. The shock of that realisation nearly stopped her heart (and right after getting healed, too). 

“W-wedidn’tdoanything!” 

Kiba looked confused. “Sure you did, Naruto told us.” 

_Naruto-kun told them?!_

“About the first time, at least, We actually saw the second time,” Shino’s voice, too, held signs of bemusement. 

_They saw? Did they see me giving Messages to Jiraiya-sama?!_

Embarrassment flooded her very being as she staggered backwards, unable to speak. She felt rather faint. If they had known that she had been passing Naruto’s letters, and that she was getting them back… 

“Wh-why didn’t you say anything before?”

“We thought it unnecessary,” Shino said. “I simply think that it might be important to raise this thought in order to better prepare you for his return.” 

“Yeah. Jeez Hinata, relax,” Kiba, still looking incredibly confused, “you don’t need to look so overwhelmed. You guys were just talking.” 

It was a like scene ripped straight from a movie. The four of them stood, two guys and a dog staring incredulously at the suddenly blank look on Hinata’s face, the fiery red draining quickly from her face. They stood there in total silence for half a minute as she processed things, though it felt like hours to each. 

“So… you saw us… talking?” 

“Yes, about a day before his departure, perhaps immediately after he was discharged from the hospital..” 

“A-and, Naruto told you… about us talking?”

“Yeah, he mentioned that you really helped him before his match against Neji. Said you really cheered him up and that you were awesome.” 

Comprehension finally dawned on Hinata, who, in sudden realisation, missed the last part of Kiba’s statement. 

“You guys remember all that? It was two and a half years ago!” 

“Come on, Hinata,” Kiba scoffed, “we’re ninja. We’ve been trained to remember important details like these. He might be Shino and my future brother-in-law, after all.” 

But Hinata was so relieved that she didn’t even bother trying to listen this time. They didn’t know about the Messages! They were just talking about that one time she spoke with Naruto in Training Ground 3, and that other time! She _had_ run into Naruto just as he was leaving the hospital with Jiraiya-sama, and she _did_ try comforting him. She had gone to visit Kiba, actually, and Shino had already been there. They probably saw her and Naruto through the window, and she had been so flustered talking to Naruto that it was more than likely that even with her acute senses, she probably failed to realise their spectators. 

“Oh, that! Yes, we were just talking! Umm, what were we talking about before?” 

“You said that Naruto likes Sakura,” Shino explained, carefully choosing his words. “I just thought of bringing up your conversations with him because it really looked like you had an impact on him. The reason is because he looked particularly happy after you talked at the hospital, and from what I heard, he seemed to attribute his victory against Neji to your conversation.”

“Yeah, you might not be out of the running yet, Hinata! Just admit your undying love and we’ll start ‘Operation: Cherry Blossom Removal’ right away!” 

“K-Kiba-kun, I appreciate the sentiment. I really do.” She managed to try a stern look. “But I really am not interested in, uh, those kinds of things. Besides, Sakura-chan is a good friend of mine.” 

Leaving them no time to reply, she leapt upwards and looked at the sky, gauging the time based on the sun’s position. She grimaced. “Guys, let’s head out. We’ve wasted enough time as it is.” 

Begrudgingly, they followed. 

It had been five minutes, five, gloriously peaceful and silent minutes, before Kiba spoke. 

“Hey, Hinata?”

Still slightly offended by the teasing she had to endure, she simply nodded. 

“A lot of time has passed. Maybe Naruto doesn’t like Sakura anymore.” 

She didn’t bother replying. 

“And Hinata, you said that Naruto deserves the best, right?” 

“Please, Kiba-kun. Let’s just focus on travelling. Please?” 

She had guessed what he was about to say and decided to nip it in the bud. She already was embarrassed as it was without having Kiba and Shino try complimenting her. They already gave her her daily compliment this morning, and twice a day would simply be too much. 

They travelled mutely for another five minutes before Kiba broke the silence again.

“Yo, Hinata?” 

She inclined her head, feeling rather bad about her rudeness but still slightly flustered. 

“What did you think we were talking about?”

“...Sorry?”

“When we mentioned that you had those pep-talks with Naruto. You looked super embarrassed, more embarrassed than someone should be when remembering two, simple conversations.” 

It took her all of her concentration not to fall off again. 

“Yes, I happen to have noticed that too. You must have been reminded of a different interaction with Naruto. The reason is because you began to completely fall apart when we referred to the conversations without being explicit about it, yet when we revealed what we had in mind, you looked incredibly relieved.” 

_I want to disappear._

“Hmm, my good friend Shino appears to be correct. So, something must have happened between the two of you…”

“...To have conjured such a reaction. Furthermore, our argument is supported by the fact that you appear to be blushing more furiously than before.”

_Please stop._

“Holy Shodaime’s buttocks, something _did_ happen! Wait, did you just say all that stuff about Sakura because you want to keep us from suspecting something?”

Hinata wasn’t a violent person by nature, but at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to do something, anything, to get Kiba’s grin off his face.

“Holy crap, there _is_ something between the two of you! I never thought you’d do something, especially at 13!”

A look of abject horror crossed her face. She swayed in midair. 

“What, did you make out with him or something? Come on, tell us, tell us, oi, Hinata!”

Crash.

“HINATA?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

They were a week into their mission when it happened. Their job was tracking down a drug cartel based in the Land of Vegetables that had set up shop in the Land of Iron. They weren’t linked with any dangerous ninja or notable warriors, making the mission suitable for highly capable chunin, but they had strong enough mercenaries and connections, and were highly elusive.

Team Kurenai was investigating a fairly large city by moonlight when Kiba caught a certain smell. 

“Holy crap.”

“Did you find Ayaka?” Shino asked urgently. Ayaka was supposed to be their informant who mysteriously disappeared. 

“What, of course not. No, Akamaru and caught a completely different smell. It’s familiar, but I can’t quite place it.” He and Akamaru covertly leapt to two rooftops away, his teammates following him. He kept sniffing the air, then a look of surprise came across his face, followed by a devious smile. “Hey, Hinata, could you use your Byakugan to scan that hotel over there? The yellowish building.” 

Confused, she did as he asked. She wasn’t a fan of intruding on others’ privacy, but it was for a mission. Looking from room to room, she didn’t spot anything, until… “Wait, I think I got some... thing… Ah!” 

Shutting of her dojutsu, she spun around and crouched down, trying to steady her breathing and clutching her heart. She had been caught completely by surprise. 

“What is it? Hinata? Kiba?” 

“Oh, I just had some suspicions, so I asked Hinata to confirm them.” Kiba knelt down, and leaned over to look at a furiously blushing Hinata, smiling. “Looks like I got my answer.” 

“K-Kiba…” she breathed weakly. “You… You… You’re being so mean lately!” 

He really wasn’t usually this aggressive in his teasing. In fact, he was usually incredibly nice and supportive. But when the topic was about a certain individual… 

Because, staying in a third floor room of the hotel, were two people: a man, around 50, lying on one bed, drunk. On the next bed, smiling while looking through a few slips of old paper, was a tall, teenage boy, sitting there in nothing but his trunks, 

_Naruto-kun! There! In… in…!_

Of course, there was no way for Kiba to have known about Naruto’s state of undress, but Hinata couldn’t help but blame him. It was quite a shock; as she had been scanning, she hadn’t had the chance to get a proper look, but from what she had seen, it looked like Naruto had gotten significantly taller, significantly stronger, and significantly, well, _hotter._ And even if she didn’t have the same tastes as, say, Ino or Sakura, from that brief glance alone she could probably say with confidence that they wouldn’t call him bad looking anymore.

“Oh, come on! I just wanted to let you know, that’s all!” 

“Could someone,” Shino said irritably, “please inform me of what is happening.” 

Kiba looked far too pleased with himself. “Well, I just caught a whiff of a familiar scent. Now, I always remember a comrade’s scent, and this one, upon closer examination, appeared to be….” he paused dramatically while shooting a look at Hinata, “... Naruto’s!” 

She wasn’t sure what she was more distressed by, Kiba’s idea of a prank, her quick look at a topless Naruto, or the fact that she saw him reading the Messages. 

“Oh man, Hinata, are you hyperventilating again?” She felt Kiba place a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Man, I forgot just how weird you were about him. I mean, I knew you were weird about him, but I forgot just how... I’m really sorry. I guess I got carried away.” His voice was soft, one the usually feral Kiba reserved only for them and Kurenai-sensei.

“Yes, I’d like to apologise as well. We have been quite… relentless as of late.” 

Of course she couldn’t stay mad at Kiba for long. They were always incredibly supportive. She was just sensitive. 

“I-I’m sorry for making you two, umm, worry.” She got back up and smiled apologetically at her teammates.

“We just wanted to, you know, rile you up a bit, so that you could take your chance at asking him out before he starts slobbering over Sakura again.”

“I was trying to do that. You weren’t, you just wanted to have some fun.” 

“Come on now, Shino! You know I love Hinata and would never want to make fun of her just for sport! I want her to be happy, even if it is with that idiot.” 

“It-It’s really okay. Just… tone it down a bit, please.” Kiba grinned at her. “But you shouldn’t call Naruto an idiot. He did beat you, after all.” 

Kiba stared in shock at the slightly mischievous look in Hinata’s eyes, mouth hanging open as he processed. “That—! That was a fluke! He only won because the bastard farted!” 

Blushing slightly, she giggled and turned away. “Let’s go, we still have Ayaka to find. And we’re being too loud.” 

“Wait, Hinata,” Shino called out while slapping Kiba on the back to make him shut up. 

“What is it?” 

“Don’t you want to go see Naruto?”

See Naruto? Now, in the middle of the night? Now, after two and a half years of no interaction and being teased to death about him by her teammates? Now, after seeing him in nothing but his underwear and reading the Messages _she_ had written for him? 

She wasn’t ready. 

Not yet. 

“No,” she said so firmly that she caught both Shino and Kiba by surprise. “I-I mean, he’s sleeping,” (a lie), “and we’re in the middle of a mission.” 

It wasn’t the time. She wasn’t ready to face him now that she knew he had carried around her words for so long. The fact that he had been reading them on this random night suggested that not only did he deem them important enough to take on this trip, but that he most likely read them regularly too. 

She knew now that Naruto had no clue that it was her. Though she had been so certain in the hospital, she couldn’t make herself bring it up when they met before his match with Neji, nor did she have the courage to approach him some other time (not that there was much of an opportunity to do so). She figured it out during their second conversation, outside the hospital. It was clear then that he still thought the Messages were from a different, mysterious individual, which both made her incredibly relieved, and incredibly disappointed. 

At that moment, she had been faced with a question she had been considering for a while: should she tell him? On one hand, she didn’t want it to look like she did it just to make herself feel better (plus, it would mean admitting to Naruto that she actively observed him and she’d rather take that little fact to her grave). On the other, he had looked genuinely frustrated about not knowing who it was — since their Academy days, really. 

_Should I tell him when he comes back to the village?_

She pushed those thoughts aside. She was on a mission; they had to find Ayaka. 

There was a drug cartel to take down. And Team Kurenai was gonna do it in style.  
______________________________________________________________________________

 _”Your wrist action when throwing shuriken is too sluggish, and you don’t have a carry through…”_

Naruto grinned ruefully at this. Though it was certainly true back when he was in the Academy, he had gotten stronger, much stronger since then. The old Pervert certainly made sure that he would. 

He yawned, looking over at the man in question, who was snoring heavily on the next bed, and shook his head in disgust. Well, it wasn’t as if the entire two and a half years had been like that. They had mostly been on the move, staying in caves and forests, pushing the limits of Naruto’s endurance, skills, and strategic thinking. It was rare for them to stay in towns or villages; this was the first time they had visited a major city. 

They were celebrating. After a rather difficult “final exam”, the Pervy Sage had deemed Naruto’s training to be over and that it was time to return, and, on their way back to the village, decided to celebrate the end of the training. Of course, Naruto should have known that he really meant ‘celebrate not having to train Naruto anymore.’ A week of debauchery, drink and women, and Naruto was surprised that the Pervert wasn’t dead from liver poisoning. They had gone to a nice restaurant the other day, of course, but that was the extent of it. 

As for Naruto, he had decided to spend his time exploring the city (it was the first time he had been in one so big) and reminiscing, which involved a lot of time going over the Notes. He had been reluctant to take any in the first place out of fear that he would lose or damage them, but after having separate conversations with the Pervy Sage and Hinata (he tried his best to imply the idea without explicitly talking about the Notes lest Hinata suspect that he had been the one to send her some during her time in the hospital), he decided to at least take half. They had been excellent in motivating him, keeping him grounded, and for reflecting on how far he’d come. They kept a record of how miserable he used to be. Considering that much of the advice hadn’t been applicable since he became a genin (and the rest slowly became less necessary over time), and the fact that he had mastered all of the breathing and chakra exercises his guardian angel had taught him (he still did them regularly), the Notes had become frankly useless in practice. It saddened him greatly, but in truth, he didn’t need them for the advice anymore. However, he regularly read them, and they still made him feel warm and happy, and the encouragement, even after over three years since becoming a genin, even after getting significantly stronger, even after reading the same words hundreds of times, still felt fresh. Still felt special. 

Naruto thought of his guardian angel often. While that was usual for him, he was caught off guard by how his image of the guardian angel had subconsciously changed. During the Academy, whenever he imagined the guardian angel, and what they might look like, he always saw a hazy image, like a white figure with wings engulfed and shrouded in brilliant light. After he became a genin, that picture changed so that the light obscuring the figure diminished, and in the face of the angel he would see someone resembling Iruka-sensei. Yet that changed when he went on this trip, and that change was the thing that surprised him the most.

He had expected maybe Sakura, or Kakashi-sensei. He had, after all, associated them with advice and comfort before (well, Kakashi-sensei more so than Sakura). But it wasn’t them. 

What confused him was that the image had a face reminiscent of someone with short, inky blue hair, pale, luminescent skin, and light, soft lavender eyes. 

Naruto spent many nights trying to reconcile with this idea. Try as he might to ignore it, his thoughts always came back to that one thought. He reasoned that it was because of him associating Hinata with his Academy classroom, and associating the classroom with his guardian angel. Then there was how she inspired him during her match against Neji, and the fact that he dedicated his victory against the same person to her. Plus, there were the conversations he had with her, the one before the fight with Neji, and the other after he was released from the hospital. She had really hit something deep within him, and cheered him up. Both were things his guardian angel did, right? It shouldn’t be surprising that he thought of them as one. They were both really nice, and both so good at encouraging him. 

He looked out of the window at the darkened sky above, and his grin melted into a smile. A small, but uncharacteristic smile. He couldn’t wait to come back to Konoha. He couldn’t wait to see his friends again. How much had they changed? 

The memories of his friends and comrades brought forth a sense of determination in him. _This is it._ Once he came back, he’d immediately begin hunting. 

Hunting for Sasuke. 

He will keep his promise. And then, after that, he had another promise to keep. One he had made to himself.

He will find his guardian angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For people who have been enduring my cliched writing and bad pacing from the start, thank you! Now that I’m halfway through the story, I think it’s a good opportunity for reflection. I originally started writing this for two reasons: I wanted to improve my writing skills, and because I got really obsessed with Naruhina fics, and was frustrated that there weren’t that many ones that matched my own tastes. I feel like I’m slowly getting there. I try to experiment with different things in each chapter. Currently, I’m trying to find the right balance between too much description and being able to express my vision exactly. But I think I’m generally doing okay — I’ve certainly gotten more confident in myself and my writing, and in terms of balance, I think this chapter did pretty well (well written description is questionable though). This whole thing was mainly about getting better anyways, and I hope that there is some semblance of progress in my work. I’m pretty happy with how this is going so far.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Thoughts and comments are welcome!


	10. Reaching Out (Akatsuki Suppression)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She watched him train before, but this time, she wants to do a bit more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had trouble with this one, not gonna lie. Writer's block is a pain, but I think it turned out pretty well all things considered. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy~

It feels like nothing changed. She was still standing at the edge of the clearing, watching in wonderment from afar, while he was still reaching for the stars. She was still trying to gather up the courage to approach him while he was still hard at work, defying all odds and doing the impossible. It was almost like the past two and a half years hadn’t happened at all. He was running ahead, his back getting farther and farther away, while she stood still, too scared to give him a push. 

_Things have changed, though. They changed a lot._

Because now, there were people who cared. People who cared about him like how Hinata always cared about him. 

There were people who did everything to help him. Like how Hinata always wished she could, but never did.

She had been taking her usual post-mission stroll through the woods when she heard a rushing sound. Activating her Byakugan, she had nearly fainted at the sight of a dozen Narutos with their hands in what looked like an artificial waterfall, shirtless. She blushed wildly as the memory of seeing him the week before his return came unbidden in her mind. She then focused closely on what he was doing, and realised that he was grinding his chakra into thin sheets in an attempt to cut the waterfall. 

_I’m glad he finally started training his change in chakra nature transformation. He’ll get even stronger now._

After a brief internal battle between her curiosity and her shame (their actual reunion hadn’t gone quite the way she would have wanted it to), she had made her way over to just where the clearing began, and was now debating whether to come up to him or not. What looked like Kakashi-sensei was reading on a wooden bench, and a jounin she had never seen before was in the middle of a ring of wooden columns, focusing his chakra on Naruto, as revealed by a quick inspection with the Byakugan. _So this is the Wood Style ninja Otou-sama had mentioned before. I thought he was in Anbu Black Ops?_ They were both clearly helping Naruto out with his training, so what would she accomplish by going over there other than distracting him? 

Hinata had wanted to show him how much she had changed. How much more confident she had become. Yet all she had managed to show him so far was her unconscious body. What if she went over there and fainted again? She couldn’t bear the humiliation if that happened in front of him. In front of Naruto. In front of the person she admired most. 

_I admire him. He’s inspired me, and I simply want his acknowledgement. Kiba-kun and Shino-kun are wrong. I don’t love him. I’m pretty sure of that._

She could always come back later. She turned her back and took a step back to the village, a step away from the clearing. She didn’t have to say “hi” now, or apologise for her shameful behaviour or ask about his time away. It could wait. Hinata could wait for the perfect opportunity. 

_”You must be bold, Hinata-sama. In battle, you don’t always get to wait for an opening. Sometimes, you must be the one to create the opening.”_

She could feel her heart pounding. She clenched her fists and felt the palms of her hands slick with nervous sweat. She wanted to hide, to keep watching, to trick herself into thinking the Messages were enough. 

They were never enough. 

She was never enough. 

It was time to be bold. 

“G-good morning, Kakashi-sensei!” Her voice was higher pitched than usual, and wavered slightly as she briskly walked straight for him and the strange jounin, hoping the waterfall would at least drown her out for the moment. 

“Ah, well if it isn’t Hinata,” he greeted cheerfully, sitting up from his reclined position and beaming at her with his one eye. The other jounin looked over at them curiously. “Oh, and this is my kouhai, Tenzo—”

“— Yamato.”

“Yamato-taichou.”

Turning to the mysterious jounin, she gave him a polite bow. “G-good morning, my name is Hyuuga Hinata. I-it’s nice to meet you.” 

The jounin’s eyes flicked quickly up to her forehead, and he nodded. “Nice to meet you too, Hyuuga-san.”

Hinata couldn’t help but flinch slightly. The Hyuuga clan was notorious for being the most rich, most noble, and most arrogant clan in Konoha. The main family, moreso. 

“J-just Hinata is fine, Yamato...taichou.” 

“So, here to speak to Naruto?” Kakashi asked, squinting up at her. “I presume you haven’t had the chance to really reunite or catch up since he came back. Kurenai tells me your team’s been awfully busy.” 

“Um… yes, something like that.” She didn’t want to bring up her fainting. She looked over at Naruto, still oblivious to her sudden appearance, too focused on the waterfall. 

_They all call him scatterbrained, but he’s always been able to put in his full attention to those things that really matter. I really love that about him…. I mean admire! I really admire his focus!_

The thought made her even more flustered, and she turned away from Kakashi, trying to act as though she was contemplating walking over to Naruto. _It’s all Shino-kun and Kiba-kun’s fault. They keep teasing me._

“He’s really hard at work, isn’t he?” she tried to strike up conversation in order to mask her self-embarrassment. 

“Oh yes, chakra nature and all that. You wouldn’t happen to be one of those Hyuuga capable of reading someone’s chakra nature with your Byakugan, would you?” 

“Um…. yes, yes I can. I’ve always known that Naruto-kun has Wind chakra. Since the Academy.” 

Kakashi looked really satisfied, and Yamato whistled. “Not many Hyuuga can do that, from what I hear. Seeing chakra and understanding the mechanics of chakra enough to read its specific properties are two different skills, after all. You must have trained and studied quite a bit.” 

It was true that range and penetrative ability alone weren’t too useful if the Hyuuga using the Byakugan wasn’t observant enough to catch certain details, unlike the Sharingan which automatically honed in on specifics, even without the user’s input. Hinata, who had trained her sight close to blindness to compensate for her abysmal taijutsu when she was younger, had watched others with her Byakugan so often that, despite not being as good with catching and analysing details mid-battle as Neji (who had inferior range and vision), she had learned certain differences in the characteristics of individual chakras. 

Naruto’s was one she had focused on the most. 

Which was why she had realised just how different he was. 

Which was why she had learned the truth, long before even he had.

Which was why she had done the thing that, in an incredibly long list, was the thing she was most ashamed of. 

“Well, I just thought that someone would have known his chakra nature before any of us did,” Kakashi continued, closing his eye and leaning back to lie back down on the bench. “It’s a pain to do as a jounin sensei, since you get three different kids to deal with, but ideally, each person should train and develop their chakra and chakra control differently based on their chakra nature, since the nature affects the properties of how it flows in the body.” He put his hands under his head and cracked his eye open slightly to look directly at Hinata, who began to sweat under his intense scrutiny. “Of course, you of all people should know that, Hinata. You were, ah, somewhat like his personal trainer, after all.” 

In contrast to the slight red that had adorned her skin, she went ghostly white at this declaration. Fear and panic surged in her head, and she began feeling dizzy. 

“K-ka...kashi-sensei,” she swallowed, and her hands shook, “I-I don’t think I…— ”

“Well, it’s just that this morning, Naruto came here with this box full of notes,” he said casually as he opened up his book to read. He quickly inclined his head to the bench, and, screwing up her courage, she knelt down and looked. There was a small battered cardboard box that she had missed with her Byakugan (she had been too distracted by Naruto). Hand shaking, not even asking for permission, she grabbed a hold of it, and pulled it towards herself. The lid was missing, and looking inside, she nearly fainted. 

They were all there. What looked like every single Message she had sent him was neatly piled inside of it, next to… 

The ointment. 

_He… kept it?_

“Every once in a while, when he gets really frustrated, he comes over and reads a couple of them, smiles, then runs back with triple the energy,” Kakashi noted with a slightly amused tone. “How many times has it been since morning, Yamato?”

“About 11, Kakashi-senpai.” 

Her pale skin, ghost white from the shock of discovering the Messages, went scarlet in an instant, as though her skin had exploded. She felt dizzy, and felt like she was about to fall. _It’s still really early in the morning…._

“You know, strange thing, these, uh, pieces of paper.” She can’t even look at Kakashi, breaking her down so nonchalantly. “He never explained them, told us not to look at them, then dashed away to train. Naturally, I had a look. Excellent advice you gave there, Hinata. I especially liked your Kawarimi no Jutsu practice recommendations. Very comprehensive.” 

The panic doubled in her head, a cacophony of denials and “no”s threatening to crack her mind apart in a choir of her utter embarrassment. Almost four years since she had written the first of the Messages, covertly sending them (with the help of Jiraiya-sama once or twice), and this man figured it all out in less than one morning. She doesn’t quite know how to deny the accusation after being put in this state.

Instead, she gulped, still looking down at the box, composed herself through a few, deep breaths, and asked, “How did you know it was me?” 

“The ointment.” 

“Oh.” Of course, Kakashi had been there. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him shifting, and looked up. Though almost his entire face was covered up, there was genuine emotion glimmering in his one eye. She had never seen the Copy Ninja like that. 

There was a clear, grateful smile in that eye. 

“Thank you.” 

His eye shifted to look behind Hinata, and before she could say anything, he leaned back to read his book, and softly said, “Here he comes.’ 

“Kakashi-sensei! I don’t get, I don’t get it at a-al-l… Hinata!” 

She froze, and for a minute she wondered whether the blistering heat radiating from her blush would set Kakashi’s bench on fire. She had missed the sound of the clones dispersing, but could now hear the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. Breathing in deeply, she turned around. 

_It’s okay, Hinata. You’re mentally prepared now._

That was a lie. She was nowhere near mentally prepared to see the shirtless Naruto so up close, sweat and water glistening on his toned muscles. Not overly defined and bulging, ninja’s rarely developed such a build, but he was definitely fit. Definitely, she thought, watching his strong arms swung as he ran, clear droplets of water flying everywhere from his powerful hands. A beautiful green jewel necklace was swinging wildly as he ran towards her, bouncing on his chest and catching the bright sunlight in consecutive, dazzling flashes, outshone by the brightness of his hair, the pure light in his blue eyes. Her eyes couldn’t decide what to focus on as he came to a screeching stop in front of her, too close to her, unable to meet the curious, beautiful eyes looking down at her yet unable to tear her eyes off of his face (flushed from hard work, water dripping down his forehead) unless it was to stare at his wet chest. 

_...I just… admire his muscles. It’s the result of his training. It’s proof of how hard he works. I'm actually rather jealous._

“Hinata! What are you….” His eyes widened, seeing the box behind her, and he let out an undignified yelp, waving his arms in panic and sending droplets of waterfall water straight at her face. He ran around her, almost knocking her aside as he lunged for the box and hid it behind his back. 

There was an awkward pause as she steadied herself.

“Did you, uh, read any of them?” 

“N-no, no, I, uh, just saw—” she hesitated, then, gathering some more courage while forcing herself to look away from his tanned physique, “the box, that’s all. I didn’t, um, see anything inside. ” 

He let out a relieved sigh, wiped his forehead with his forearm, and placed the box behind Kakashi’s bench. 

“Umm,” she blurted out, “can we… uh… talk?”

It was impulse. She felt so giddy and so on edge that the question just slipped out. In reality, she had nothing to say — at least, nothing she was ready to say. Nevertheless, he grinned at her, and it was like being flashed with the world’s most brilliant diamond.“Kakashi-sensei! Yamato-taichou! I’ll just take a quick break, okay? I’ll get right back to training after this.” 

Yamato looked incredibly relieved, dropped his hand, then leaned backwards to lie on the grass. Kakashi nodded his head. 

Naruto gestured at her to follow him, and they walked away slightly to gain a bit more privacy. He crossed his hands, and, after a “Taju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!”, several clones (Hinata could have imploded from the sudden shock of facing close to ten shirtless Narutos) popped into existence, and ran off towards the waterfall.

“Wait wait what? I thought you were taking a break!” Yamato cried out in alarm. 

“Huh? I’m taking a break, yeah. The real me. My clones can still work while I catch up with Hinata, ya know!” He tilted his head in confusion, and Hinata couldn’t help but feel bad as Yamato sat back back up with a grown. 

“So,” Naruto began, looking at her, grinning again, “what did you want to talk about?” 

“Well, uh…—”

“Oh, I heard you became a chunin! That’s right, right?” 

“Um, yes, it is, I—” 

“That’s so cool! You should’ve made chunin that first time! You’re definitely cooler than Shikamaru!” 

She felt even more embarrassed, unable to cut in and growing all the more flustered. She could barely handle compliments from Shino and Kiba, who always made sure to give her one at least once a day. How could she handle it from Naruto?

“I bet you’ve gotten really strong these past few years!” He was grinning at her expectedly, as though he thought she was going to showcase all of her moves right at that exact moment. 

She didn’t answer. They sat like that for a bit, stewing in the silence, before Naruto spoke up. “Well, I’d ask you to spar, but I’m in the middle of this chakra…. nature… thingy!” 

She seized the opportunity for a conversation. “YES, umm, I, uh, I mean that, umm…” Doubt began filling her again, and she knew that she could contribute nothing to their conversation. Somehow, despite being her inspiration for so long, she felt like she had regressed back to her worthless younger self around him. “Y-you’ve gotten strong, too. I-I heard that you help rescue the Kazekage.” 

“Really, I didn’t do much. It was all down to Sakura-chan and Chiyo-baachan and the others.” At this, his eyes seemed to become a little melancholy, and his grin became smaller. “Really, I was just there.” He looked back towards the waterfall, and clenched his fist. “That’s why… I need to get stronger. Those years with Pervy Sage, they were great because I was so behind in so many things. I needed them to catch up with you guys. Now, it’s time to get even stronger.” 

His smile progressively grew fainter and fainter, and he sat down, cross legged on the grass, his face dejected, his eyes burning with silent determination. Hinata sat down next to him, folding her legs beneath her. The atmosphere had changed very quickly, too abruptly, and now that the initial shock of seeing his so close up shirtless had faded, Hinata felt a bit of her hard-won confidence returning. 

“Sakura-chan told me about Sasuke.” 

Her voice was soft, but it caught his attention. 

“Yeah? Did she tell you about how useless I was?” 

“Naruto-kun, you weren’t useless.” 

He scoffed, looking down at his lap while dejectedly picking at the grass, and she couldn’t help but feel like it was two and a half years ago, like he was going off to face Neji again. He had become suddenly so open and vulnerable, the side she would only see when watching him train by himself.

The difference was that this time, she wouldn’t be two meters away, helf concealed behind a wooden log. 

She had promised herself that. 

“Naruto-kun, remember what I said that time before you fought Neji?” 

He looked up, cocked his head in confusion, then, eyes widening, nodded. 

“Yes, you failed this time. You failed two and a half years ago. But I don’t think it’s because you were too weak or anything. You were caught by surprise. You had no idea what to expect.” She smiled softly, and held eye contact with him. Something that would have terrified her three years ago. “Next time, and I know for sure that there will be a next time, you will know what to do. You’ll be ready, I’m sure of it. I believe in you… ya know.” 

He smiled. It was a small smile, not like his usual, larger than life grins, but it was genuine. Soft. Thankful. But then it almost instantaneously disappeared. 

“You don’t understand. It wasn’t just abilities. I… I completely lost my head. I lost control and I had no idea what I was doing. I…. Did Sakura-chan tell you everything?” 

“N-No.” 

“Then you probably don’t know just how far it went. I—” He swallowed, and there was pain in his eyes. “I hurt her. Accidentally. Because I couldn’t control myself.” 

There it was. The scared, unsure boy hiding behind walls of confidence and bravado. It was familiar to Hinata — it was like looking at a mirror. The little boy was weak. Deficient. Pathetic. 

It was the part she admired most. 

“Naruto-kun,” she said, wanting nothing more than to reach out but holding back. “Is this because of the Kyuubi? Because if it was, then it’s not your fault. He’s really volatile.” 

His shock and alarm were so incredibly theatrical that it was almost comical. He leapt up, legs spread wide, arms flailing about, eyes as wide as Tsunade-sama’s list of debts. 

“Wha— What— You know?!” 

“Yes, for a while actually.” 

“You—- What?!” 

“Since the academy.”

“EH?! WHAT?!” 

She smiled up at him, but it was a sad one. She looked away so that he wouldn’t see the guilt in her eyes. “I used to, um, watch people a lot back then. Analyse their chakra. I wasn’t good at fighting so I thought I‘d learn about healing or stuff like that.” She picked at the grass, and didn’t notice Naruto crouch back down. “I used to, ah, watch you a lot,” she said quietly, the admission threatening to make her burn up. But it was counteracted by the shame she felt. “Your chakra fascinated me. It was so strong, yet so unstable.”

“Unstable?”

“After a while, I noticed that there were two chakras there, flowing around each other, clashing. One was calm and warm, strong but… nice. The other was… violent. Powerful. Full of hate. It was something I never saw in anyone else. I thought that maybe it was a kekkei genkai of sorts, but eventually, I realised that they had wildly different signatures. I connected the dots. Why everyone hated you. Why you had so much trouble with chakra control. Your birthday. What we were told about the Kyuubi.” 

Hinata closed her eyes, and felt him sit back down next to her. She turned her head so that he wouldn’t see her face. 

“Is…” He swallowed, and there was a little nervousness in his voice. “Is that why you always avoided me? More than you avoided other people?” 

_No. Maybe, for a while. If anything, it made me admire you more._

That was the truth. But she couldn’t say it. 

It wasn’t the full truth. Because, even if she did try to overlook it, she couldn’t completely. The knowledge terrified her. 

This was the source of her greatest shame. She had always been shy, scared of interacting with people, scared of making a mistake. Naruto, though, was not only the person who she admired the most, but also, for a considerable time, the person she feared the most. More than her father. 

It made her hate herself.

“I… I’m so sorry.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

Naruto wasn’t quite sure what had come over him. Somehow, he always inadvertently became a mopey loser in front of her. Before the Final Round at the Chunin Exams; after being released from the hospital after Sasuke defected; right now. 

Maybe it was from all those times in the Academy, sitting around. Maybe it was because she was never as judgmental as everyone else, because of how kind she was. But he always felt the odd urge to be open around her, to cut out the bullshit and talk about his feelings. 

Was it because she was a fellow “failure”? 

He hadn’t brought the Notes today out of lack of motivation; he had enough drive to power the entire village. The need to grow stronger, to be able to catch up to Sasuke, to show him that power didn’t have to come from the darkness, he had a lot to keep him going. Instead, he brought them to… stay grounded. To not allow his frustrations to take over. From a practical sense, they were useless. Yet ever since he came back to the village, he spent more and more time craving the simple comfort they provided him. His failure to contribute anything when they went to save Gaara; his complete humiliation when they went to get Sasuke during the Tenchi Bridge mission. 

In a strange way, they reminded him of Hinata. Encouraging, patient, kind. 

Mysterious and unreadable. 

Truth be told, he had been incredibly excited to see Team 8 again, after so long. In the end, Hinata had fainted (twice) for no apparent reason, and they both had separate missions to deal with. Now, he had training, and no time whatsoever to catch up with any of them. 

Or so he thought before seeing Hinata near the Notes. 

And now, he was pouring out his heart to her. About his insecurity. For no apparent reason. 

And now, he finally got to really see what she was really like after these years, without her being unconscious and everything. She still wore bulky clothing, but she had grown out her hair, and her face had matured, and he couldn’t help but think of how nice she looked. Now that she was actually talking with him, he saw the delicate features of her face, the large, pearly, pupiless eyes that somehow seemed to be deeper and kinder than any he had ever seen, Hyuuga or non. 

And now, he learned that she knew about his secret before he himself had known. 

“I… I’m sorry.” 

The apology stabbed him in the chest, as painful as a Chidori. She had always been shy, yes, more so towards him. He always thought it was because he was the wild problem child. But that wasn’t true, apparently. 

She used to be scared of him. 

It suddenly became hard to breathe. After rescuing Gaara, Naruto had seen just how the perception of jinchuriki was changing. But that still didn’t erase the years of hatred and neglect. And it seemed that Hinata was part of it. She didn’t avoid him because her parents told her to, like their other classmates. 

She genuinely feared him. 

It didn’t add up. 

“Then, then, why were you so kind to me?” 

She looked up in surprise. “I was… kind to you?” 

“Yeah.” He remembered all of those interactions they had when alone in their classroom. Her behaviour sort of made sense if she had been scared of him at the time. It also made absolutely no sense as well. “I mean, you were extra shy and stuff with me, but you were still… nice, ya know? It just doesn’t make sense to me if you knew I was a jinchuriki.” 

He wasn’t surprised to see that Hinata was familiar with the term. Instead of confusion, there was a pained smile on her face.

“I didn’t want to be,” she whispered. “To be… scared of you. You were always so kind, it made no sense if you were a monster.” 

“I was kind? No, you’re the kind one!” It was like Tsunade-baachan telling him that she was off to marry Orochimaru. 

“Yes! Yes you were! You stood up for me so many times!” There was a strange light in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place. “You didn’t accept any unfair circumstances, not for yourself, not for anyone. You took the blame for me, for Kiba-kun,, and you always wanted to help out! Even if you couldn’t express it properly. You were incredibly kind, Naruto-kun!” 

It was hard to describe what he was feeling at that moment. It was like their previous conversations all over again. Him dropping his fake confidence, her turning his feelings around in an instant. Like her words were some jutsu that could alter his emotions. She was smiling, and somehow, as though she was flicking a light switch he felt more cheerful. 

_Come to think of it, Iruka-sensei hated me back then._

“There were so many times when I wanted to help you, to show you my support,” she continued, and there was some sort of powerful emotion in her voice that he couldn’t recognise, but had felt strongly in his own chest. “You were always trying so hard, and all I ever did was just stand by. I… I was a coward. Not just because I was scared of the Kyuubi, but because I…”

She was hesitating. Anticipation was building in the air, and Naruto felt himself leaning forward. 

“Admire… you.” 

The words flooded him with a warmth that he had rarely felt before. He barely noticed the way Hinata seemed to look down, frowning, as if confused by her own words. 

“You know, Iruka-sensei hated me because of the Kyuubi for a really long time,” he started, nonchalantly, still amazed at her words. 

Her eyes widened. 

“There’s no way!” 

“Yep, he pretty much hated me, ya know. We had a really hard relationship.” He sat up straighter on the grass, and looked at her amazed look. He didn’t know why, but he really wanted to talk about this. “I never told you about how I actually graduated the genin exams, did I?” 

She shook her head. 

“Well, remember Mizuki-sensei? He set me up to steal the Scroll of Sealing!” 

“Scroll of… Sealing?” 

“A massive scroll full of forbidden jutsu. It’s where I learned the Taju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, ya know. He pretended that stealing it would make me a genin instantly, but really, he was a traitor who wanted me dead.” 

She gasped, and looked at him like no one ever had. It made him feel sort of giddy. The feeling of betrayal from before had disappeared completely. 

He told her everything about that night: him taking the Scroll, learnin the jutsu, the confrontation between Mizuki and Iruka. He explained Iruka’s hatred for the Kyuubi, and his eventual acceptance of Naruto. All the while, Hinata was an excellent listener, gasping and asking questions at the right times, and Naruto felt himself swell up somehow. 

“So there you have it! Iruka-sensei treated me poorly before and now we get along just fine, ya know! If anything, you’re even cooler because you were so nice to me even when you were so scared!” 

She still looked slightly hesitant at that. “That doesn’t excuse the fact that I was scared. I should have done something. You had nobody, nobody at all.” 

“Well, that’s not exactly true.” It was her mysterious power, something that made him want to tell her everything, the feeling that she would guard all of his secrets as though they were her own. 

She had already seen the Notes, anyways. Plus, she had been there, in the Academy. There was nothing to lose. 

“I, um, well, did you ever notice how I always got these… notes? Under my desk?” 

Her eyes widened, skin going bright red, and Naruto was confused by the reaction. 

_It probably means that she does._

“Well, I’ve never told anyone this, but, ah, I’m not sure if you ever noticed the person who put them there, but they were super nice to me, ya know. I mean, they always had advice, and they would encourage me a lot. Plus, they were always nice. I wrote back sometimes. I call them… ‘the Notes’.” 

“Not ‘the Messages’?” Her question was so fast, so abrupt, it was clear that even Hinata hadn’t thought it through. She went even redder, and covered her mouth in horror. 

“Yeah, well, I guess they were like messages. I dunno, I always called them the Notes. Don’t tell anyone about this, by the way,” he added as a hasty sidenote. “I never told anyone about this, and it’s sort of a private thing for me. Kakashi-sensei and Yamato-taichou only found out because I, uh, need them for training. Honestly, I’m not really sure why I’m telling you this myself, ya know.” 

She bit her lip, and began twiddling her fingers. She started speaking very carefully. “I also used to get, um, Messages. I mean, Notes. When I was in the hospital, after Neji.” 

Panic blasted through him like a rasengan. Crap! He had completely forgotten about that! He wanted to keep that part secret! 

“Ha, well, maybe we have the same guardian angel, ya know! Ha!” He laughed it off, chuckling, but he couldn’t help but look at Hinata, hoping she would believe him. 

She didn’t question the sender, but she did shoot him a curious look. 

“Guardian… angel?” 

“Oh, that’s what I call the person who sent the Notes.” He had already exposed himself. He might as well be completely honest with her. Bare everything to her. Other than the fact that he wrote to her, obviously.

Somehow, she blushed harder, and eye contact was lost as she leaned forward and downwards, eyes directed at her fingers. 

“They’re really important to me,” he spoke quietly, and now without any hesitation. She had completely reversed his mood with minimal effort. Maybe she could help him out with this. “I… I really want to find out who it is.” 

He could swear that steam was issuing from her ears.

“Re...really?” 

“Yeah. I’ve been sort of looking for who it was since the Academy. That’s actually why I’d stay after class so late and come in so early. I’ve been trying to catch them for years, ya know. Even now.” 

It felt so freeing to be honest about this. Finally, to be honest with someone after so many years. 

She looked embarrassed for some reason. Yet when she spoke, it was in a steady voice. “I… I’m sure you’ll find them eventually. But right now…”

“Right now I need to focus completely on Sasuke, I know.” He knows. But this meant as much to him. It was about his bonds. “I just… I can’t get the guardian angel out of my head.” 

She thinks for a minute, still red, still avoiding eye contact, then says, “How about you push them out of your mind by avoiding the… Notes?” 

“I can’t do that. They’re too… encouraging.” 

She wiped her forehead, and looked a little faint, but breathed, and after a sequence of breathing patterns, seemed to relax. He really didn’t get it at all. “I know, but you said that the Notes were important because you had no one back then right?” He nodded. “Then, maybe, instead of the Notes, you hang out more with your friends. There are a lot of people who care about you now. Try to move past the, uh, the Notes. You have Sasuke-kun to concentrate on, so... try moving past that which distracts you from your goal.” 

It was sound advice. There was a part of him that wanted to yell, yell that she didn’t understand, would never understand how much the Notes meant to him, but he managed to catch himself. He acted on his best around her, too. 

He smiled at her. 

“I’ll try. As soon as I finish off with this crap. I understand the grinding bit, but my chakra doesn’t seem too eager to, uh, be grinded. It feels so… stiff or something, ya know.” It sounded stupid. Chakra was energy. Energy wasn’t stiff. He didn’t want to sound stupid in front of Hinata, even though she was always the nicest and least judgmental person in the world. 

“Well,” she finally looked up, and, except for a slight blush, looked like she did before. There was a slightly more confident air about her though, that made it hard to look away. “There’s always a secret to nature transformation. I don’t have wind chakra, but there might be an additional trick to… maybe make the chakra less stiff?”

“What’s your chakra nature?” 

“Mine?” She smiled at him, and he felt confidence surge inside of him. “I have fire and lightning natures, affinity for lightning specifically. Not that we Hyuuga use chakra natures that often.” 

“Well, how do they work? What do you do with them to, uh, prepare them?” 

She looked thoughtful for a second. “Fire chakra we heat up in our body, then compress. With lightning, we vibrate it at high frequencies to generate a current. Our chakra and bodies sort of emulate how these elements work in the real world, I guess.” 

“Then… Hinata, how does wind form?” Something tells him that two layers of chakra grinding into one another isn’t how real wind forms. 

“Wind? Well, it’s all to do with the sun. When energy from the sun comes down, it doesn’t heat up the air directly; it heats up the ground which heats up the air immediately above it. Since hot air is less dense, it rises, causing cold air to fall and be heated by the ground in turn. But the farther up from the ground the heated air goes, the more it cools, until it falls again, creating a large swirling cycle.” 

_She’s a natural teacher. Who knew, since she’s so shy._

He asked her more about wind, and air, and phenomena like tornadoes. She was a natural at teaching, balancing between being informative, and being simple. It actually reminded him a lot of the way his guardian angel explained things in the Notes. 

_Remember, Uzumaki Naruto. Concentrate on Sasuke, not them._

“You’re really good at explaining stuff, ya know.” He couldn’t fight off the urge, and he grinned at her brightly, happily. He was sincere. 

“Well, it’s, um, not a particularly complicated process.” 

He shook his head at her bashful denial. “No no, even so, you explained it really well. I’m sure Sakura-chan or Shikamaru would have made it more complicated than it had to be.” It’s true. “So, I just need to apply those real world pheno— real world stuff into my nature transformation _then_ start grinding away. 

“Oi! Naruto! Are you planning on _ever_ getting back to training?” Yamato called out, irritation clearly audible in his voice. 

Hinata smiled at him. “I should go. I have training with my own team soon.” 

His heart sank, and he was about to protest when he realised that the sun had shifted positions by quite a bit. _How long have we been talking?_

She got up, dusting her trousers, called out a farewell to Kakashi and Yamato, then awkwardly turned to him. “Well, good luck with your training. I hope you do well.” 

She turned around to go. She really had become significantly more confident. He didn’t want her to go. 

“Hinata?” 

“Yeah?” she asked as she turned around expectantly. 

He didn’t know what to say. 

“G-Good luck, ya know!” 

He sprinted away, back to the waterfall, dispersed the clones he had left there (they achieved very little), then created some more and got back to work, refusing to watch Hinata leave. That conversation had left him pleasantly confused, just like all of his other interactions with her did. 

He couldn’t help but grin as he worked.

_She may have gotten older and more confident, but she hadn’t changed a bit._

She didn’t need to. In his eyes, she was amazing enough as it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! To be honest, I'm probably going to go back and fix this chapter. It feels a little boring, and the pacing isn't great, but I was having issues where I just couldn't write this at all, so I decided that the best thing to do was just go ahead and published it. 
> 
> Thoughts and comments would be appreciated!


	11. Fallen Angel (Pain's Assault)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain. A feeling. A response. A person. A catalyst. 
> 
> Lots of introspection incoming. I think. Am I using 'introspection' correctly? Who knows!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that this story is following manga canon. I do think that there are many parts that are flesh out better in the anime, and I do really like many of the Part 1 fillers. It’s just, if I included them, I’d feel obligated to take Shippuden filler into consideration, which I really don’t want to do. Quite a few of them contradict what has already been established in the main plot, or else make the timeline very confusing. 
> 
> Also, the characters in this story are speaking Japanese, I'm just writing in English because I barely know any Japanese (well, I'm learning). Odd point to bring up, but this chapter does involve that idea a bit.
> 
> PS: I added a sentence to the previous chapter. It’s when Hinata tells Naruto to move past the Notes: “You have Sasuke-kun to concentrate on, so... try moving past that which distracts you from your goal.” Hopefully that clarifies things a bit more. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy~

Time seemed to slow down as that man’s jutsu hit her, the concussive force of ten million explosive tags hitting her head, blasting her back. There was a split second, an instance after the jutsu struck and knocked her off her feet, that felt like an eternity, as though she was perpetually in the air, in flight. And that was the moment when it felt like her entire life flashed before her very eyes.

Neji always said that she too, was a prisoner of the main family. Instead of the Caged Bird Seal, a visible sign of the chains of servitude, she was held down by chains of guilt. Sorrow. Inadequacy. Responsibility. And disappointment. 

_”The thing is, we can always cover up our curse mark with a hitai-ate. Pretend it’s not there. We used to be able to play nice and follow orders and avoid pain. And, today, the divide is lessening, and we branch members don’t have to live under constant fear of the main family’s wrath. But you, Hinata-sama, with your compassion, with your misplaced sense of self-blame, you can’t cover up that which is already invisible. We may eventually forgive the main family, but I can see that you’ll never quite forgive yourself. You will always be haunted by guilt. Because your chains, your binds, your leash is tethered not to your skin, but to your heart.”_

She had protested. After all, what was her guilt compared to generations of servitude and pain for the branch family? Despite the responsibilities and expectations placed on her, she always thought that she was relatively free. She was simply unworthy of her privilege. 

She didn’t have the Caged Bird Seal, after all. 

But now, she realised the truth. She _had_ been bound down. Tethered, weighed down by countless things she could not control. Not just by the Hyuuga. But by her own sense of inadequacy within Team 8. Her duty to the village. Her trapped sense of admiration. 

Love. Not just admiration. Love. 

Those feelings always felt caged in. She could never express them openly, so she never understood what it was beyond admiration. An emotion so pure, so powerful that she felt she had to keep it in lest the Hyuuga clan discovered it and punished her for it like they did for so many other, weaker feelings. They too weighed her down — crushing her with the force of a mountain. She felt like an over inflated balloon, overcome with intense internal pressure, desperately trying to keep it all from bursting out. 

Hinata remembered the first time the main family taught her how to use the Caged Bird Seal. They wanted her to practice on Neji. She had refused. Of course she had refused. He was her cousin, and she loved him. And so she had told them that. 

As punishment for her weakness, her grandfather had activated Neji’s Seal, inflicting excruciating pain on her cousin.

_”In the battlefield, your enemies won’t take mercy on you,”_ he had told her. _”You can’t either, and you have to learn about that now. To prepare yourself. This is what the branch family is for.”_

It was at that moment that she learned that emotions had consequences. That her “love” simply hurt the ones she cared about. 

She could still hear her cousin screaming at night sometimes. 

So she kept it in. The only way for her to release some of that overwhelming pressure was through the Messages. The Notes. Whatever they were called. 

She didn’t quite understand when she realised it herself, having bottled it up for so long. Maybe it was some time after his return. Maybe it was when she saw his pain on their previous mission together. When she saw him in his moment of purest frustration and vulnerability, devoid of those traits she admired most, and realised that that didn’t matter to her anymore.

Or maybe it was right there. In front of that man. In front of Naruto himself.

And now…. she said it. She said. It was out in the open, out in the air, and she felt light. The pressure was gone, and the asphyxiating noose she had woven around her own neck to prevent any openings of weakness had loosened. 

Or, so she would have felt if it weren’t for a new, far darker, far heavier feeling.

She had allowed herself to be selfish once more. 

_”Your selfishness hurts everyone around you,” her father said to her broken, ten year old body as several of the elders stood around, muttering in vicious tones. “Your lack of dedication, your emotions, your misplaced compassion towards your opponents, as well as your own unwillingness to fight. You show the highest forms of selfishness, and that will harm the clan. The entire village.”_

For a moment, suspended in the air, feeling as light as a feather, free of her chains, she realised that simple truth.

She had failed. Of course she had failed, that’s all she ever does. 

She couldn’t rescue Naruto. She couldn’t even buy some time for Naruto. She was going to die, and Naruto was simply going to be captured… and then what? Die?

What was she thinking, charging in there so blindly? That she could maybe actually challenge the man who had single handedly destroyed the village? That seeing her would somehow invigorate Naruto, who was pinned down by those cruel rods? That seeing her would somehow invigorate everyone else who was watching from around the crater, who were pinned down by fear? 

Not only would Naruto die, he would die with the image of her failing him and dying for nothing. 

_Naruto-kun… can’t die…_

She refused to believe that. No, Naruto would escape. He always found a way, always managed to overcome. Hadn’t he taken out the other five Pains on his own? He never gave up, and he always picked himself back up. And if not… there was still Sakura, and everyone else who had survived, who saw Naruto get overpowered and pinned down, who watched her exposed for who she really was. They would eventually find their courage and save Naruto. They had to. They were shinobi of Konoha. 

They wouldn’t abandon a comrade. 

Surely. 

She herself moving, farther from the sixth Pain, the force of his jutsu sending her headfirst into the ground at speeds incomprehensible to man. As time began to speed up once more, she felt herself relax. No, Naruto would survive. The worst that would happen to him was guilt over her death.

Great remorse filled her as she thought about the thorough devastation of Konoha. Her beloved village, home to countless innocent civilians, was in ruins. Countless dead. She had been powerless to help Konoha.

It was strange how so much could pass through one’s mind in such an infinitesimal stretch of time, one one billionth of a second, when in reality, the time it took for Pain’s jutsu to hit to when she impacted was an instant. 

A small part of her had reacted as soon as her Byakugan saw the chakra flare in Pain’s body. She barely had time to expel chakra from every tenketsu in her body before she was struck down. Having never learned the Hakkeshou Kaiten, having barely a second to charge up her chakra, it gave her feeble cushioning from the force of her impact against the ground. But it gave her some

It felt like her skull had shattered like a vase. In an instant, hot, excruciatingly hot pain flashed through her entire body as the jutsu crushed her against the ground. Her bones felt like they crumpled like paper, her brain rattling like a bell. The shock of the impact cracked the ground before her, cracked through her conscience and popped blood vessels with bubbles. Shinobi were naturally more resilient to physical damage and blunt force trauma, but with Pain’s power, by striking the ground headfirst at such high velocities, the force was more than what Hinata could handle. Her pathetic excuse for a chakra cloak disintegrated, and the world blurred away. 

In a daze, she felt that she shouldn’t have put up that defense. It had been strong enough to prevent instant death, but too weak to do much else. Now her death would be slow, and painful. 

She vaguely comprehended something pierce — no, it was far too thick and blunt, _smash_ — through her back, straight through her lungs and out of her chest, catching on her mesh shirt. It missed her heart, but the punctured lung collapsed, and blood flooded her windpipe, choking her. Instinct — instinct that she had developed from hours of hard work training with Neji, studying Hyuuga texts and spying on the hospital — allowed her to automatically activate her chakra in an attempt to heal her. Superior, innate Hyuuga chakra control numbed the pain, and set about repairing the damage. But it was not enough. She could only prolong her pitiful life span. 

She had been on a mission when Naruto learned that Jiraiya had passed away. He was already gone by the time she came back. Aside from the great sorrow she felt at the passing of the man who had helped her out before, was the guilt that she, once more, wasn’t there for him. For Naruto. She couldn’t help with Sasuke either when they went hunting for him and Itachi Uchiha. She had failed to discover the trick behind the masked man’s powers, and by the time she found the burning ruins of the Uchiha hideout, it was too late. 

She was always too late. She could never help him. How was she supposed to help her village, her own clan if she couldn’t help one person? 

Hinata had dreams. Dreams of a peaceful Konoha, where she and the old Team 8 could sit around in Kurenai’s apartment and have tea with her and her child. Dreams of a Hyuuga clan, united and whole, where she and Hanabi could be real sisters again, unbothered by clan politics. Naruto was there too. By her side, happy. Unburdened.

But they were just dreams. 

A powerful surge of a chakra burned through the air, power unlike anything she’s ever felt, but one that she recognised. There was a roar, or perhaps a scream, that shook the earth, and the world hummed with killer intent so dark flowers wilted and birds dropped dead.

None of that registered though. 

She was floating in her own darkness now. 

The sound of ringing stopped. The smell of blood faded. The feel of the rough ground disappeared. The taste of iron died. 

And all she saw was red.  
______________________________________________________________________________

It was like being submerged in water. He had no sense of what was happening around him, just molten, burning rage pouring through her body. Pain, and anger like he had never felt before broke him, and he had felt his heart rip into pieces. 

And then his father appeared, and he felt like he had been pulled out of the water. 

And now, standing amidst the rubble of Pain’s jutsu, he felt disorientated. Unsure of what had occurred during the Kyuubi’s takeover, he racked his head, trying to remember what exactly happened before the excruciating wave of despair and hatred had washed him out of consciousness. 

There was something… Hinata?

He didn’t know why, but it was an image of her that appeared in his head. An image that terrified him.

Katsuyu, Tsunade’s slug familiar, suddenly wiggled out of his collar. 

_How the hell? How did the Kyuubi’s chakra not burn or kill her or something?_

“Phew, I thought we were going to die!” 

He wanted to ask her about what it felt like to be within the Kyuubi’s chakra cloak but be conscious when he noticed the plums of smoke rising from the distance. Horrified, he realised that he was standing in a field of rubble in the middle of nowhere, with a trail of smoke and devastation leading straight to the village. 

“The village is over that way… what?” 

Smoke and fire wasn’t really this Pain’s style, so where did all of that come from? 

“You did that, Naruto. While you were in the Kyuubi state.” 

A bolt of shock rammed through him. He knew that he was powerful in the Kyuubi state, but to have done that much damage? 

Panic filled him as he desperately reached out with his Sage Mode. Had he? Was that why he had an image of Hinata, because he might have….? Under the influence of the Kyuubi?

“No, Hinata… the villagers…” 

His chakra found her. Though he had only just mastered the sensory aspect of Sage Mode, he had no trouble recognising her — in fact, her chakra practically jumped at her. It was… automatic, as though her chakra was seeking his out too. Her chakra… 

It was so warm. So strong. So… comforting. 

She was still alive. 

“I did worry, but it appears that there were no casualties from your Kyuubi influenced rampage.” 

Relief flooded through him. He hadn’t hurt anyone! And Hinata… 

Somehow, he couldn’t shake that image of her from her head. No matter how much he fixated on her chakra, he couldn’t get it out. 

Her body, broken on the ground. 

Her blood, seeping through the cracked ground. 

And another image, of her standing firm in front of him, protecting him. 

_”...Because… I love you.”_

Naruto felt a sharp injection of chakra on his shoulder. It was Katsuyu, telling him to get over it. He wiped the tears from his eyes, and looked straight at Pain, who was patiently standing there, waiting. 

_If he weren’t looking for an answer for peace… if he wasn’t so adamant on breaking my soul… I’d probably be dead right now.”_

And that thought invigorated him. 

_”Always stay focused on your goal,”_ the Notes had told him. 

_”Try moving past that which distracts you,”_ Hinata had told him. 

He had no choice. 

_Sorry Hinata, you’re gonna have to wait._

He had Pain to defeat. 

And a question he needed to answer.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Katsuyu told them what happened. The dead came back, and Pain was no more. 

The village was saved. Naruto was a hero. 

At her insistence, Neji helped her up, offering to support her as she stood, but she refused. Her own chakra managed to keep her alive until Sakura could come and heal her. Pain’s rod was pulled out, the gaping hole it left behind patched up for now, and her head injury was dealt with. She was still heavily concussed, the world swirling around her as pain rang through her head, and it was still painful to breathe and move, but she was alive.

Sakura looked grimly over at her. “I did all that I could for now,” she said in a worried tone. “But you’ll still have to stay at the hospital for a while after this. I stopped the bleeding but your back needs sewing up.” 

“That can wait,” Hinata said, as strongly as she could, but already drowsiness was threatening to take her down again. “Help… the critical injuries first.” 

“No offense, Hinata,” Tenten said, wincing as she stared at the blood-soaked back of Hinata’s jacket, “if you don’t count as a critical injury, then I don’t know who does.” 

“Besides,” Guy jumped in, “any injuries more serious than yours would have been mortal, and Naruto’s had Pain revive everyone anyways. Besides, from what Katsuyu has told us, you deserve priority for having fought so valiantly!” Tears sprang into his eyes as he crouched down with uncontrolled emotion. “To have jumped in without hesitation…! Putting yourself in danger to save your friend? Why, I’ve rarely seen such a beautiful manifestation of the Springtime of Youth!” 

“You’re absolutely right, Guy-sensei! Hinata-san is a true example of the courage and love of Youth!” 

“Even against such a powerful opponent! Her Youth never waivered!” 

“I wish I was as Youthful as Hinata-san!”

“Lee!” 

“Guy-sensei!” 

“Lee!” 

“Guy-sensei!”

“I suppose today’s emotional whirlpool has pushed everyone to hysterics,” Neji commented, looking on in disgust as Guy and Lee hugged and cried. He looked around. “Mind you, after such a catastrophe, I don’t blame them.”

She couldn’t help but smile, then wince as pain shot from her back and head. Neji caught her stumbling, and Sakura turned to them, panic in her eyes as she hurried over, hands glowing, but Hinata waved her off. 

“Sakura...chan. Save your chakra, there are many to heal. I’m sure even the people who were revived probably suffer from injuries too. You should conserve your strength.” 

“Hinata-sama, you should at least sit down and rest,” Neji protested. 

“N-No need, Neji-niisan. I… I’m fine. Katsuyu-sama, is… is he coming?” 

“Yes,” came the slug’s reply. “From the North gate. The villagers are already gathering to give him a hero’s welcome.” 

Naruto… she had to see him. Even if her back was threatening to burst like a dam, even with her vision murky and head pounding, lungs protesting at every breath, she had to go see him. She had to make sure he was fine and safe and alive. With her own eyes. 

And she wanted to do it with her own power. On her own. 

_I’ve relied on others for too long. Even if I can’t be relied on, at least… I should be able to move on my own._

It was stupid, she knew. Yet she couldn’t fight that urge. 

She pushed off of Neji and took a step. She tried to keep her back straight as she stumbled forward, trying as hard as she could to circulate her own chakra around her head and wound. Legs wobbling, arms weighing her down, she felt like she was swimming through concrete. 

But she pushed on, and, after exchanging worried glances, everyone else followed.  
______________________________________________________________________________

He stumbled through the forest, utterly exhausted. Konan had left with Nagato and Yahiko’s bodies, staying only long enough to help him erect a small memorial for the Pervy Sage. 

The battle was over. 

No, this battle was over. 

He’s been entrusted with finding peace. Pervy Sage, his father, and even Nagato and Konan all passed on their quest to end the cycle of hatred to him. 

How was he going to do that? 

Sasuke was still out there. He had failed to stop him from getting to Itachi, effectively allowing him to get his vengeance. At the time, he only thought of his own failure to keep his promise to Sakura and to save Sasuke, but now he had a far different, far darker view on things. Now, he saw that failing to capture Sasuke and Itachi had led to the cycle of hatred to continue once more.

_And it’s not just him either._

The Uchiha, the Hyuuga, the Bijuu, the Akatsuki, they were all involved in this never ending cycle of bitterness and vengeance. How could he possibly find an answer to all of that?

And speaking of the Hyuuga… 

Memories began flooding back. Now that he could finally relax, he began remembering things. Little flashes. And, at the forefront… 

_”...Because… I love you.”_

_Hinata… loves me?_

He used to hear it used all the time. _Daisuki_. Lovers that he would spy on in the park. Families that he’d see in the streets. Even friends playing around used it. He never thought he’d hear it directed at himself.

No one had ever said that to him. And yet…

He’d be lying if he said that there wasn’t some kind of weird connection between him and Hinata. That history of awkward encounters in the Academy, and their scattered interactions throughout their time as ninja built up a strong image in his head. An image which slowly came to take a very weird albeit very important place in his heart. 

Whenever they were together, he always couldn’t help but remember the Notes. 

He hadn’t exactly taken her advice. He still read over them once in a while. But he did realise that thoughts of his guardian angel would get him nowhere. There was Sasuke, a feasible goal, whereas his guardian angel at this point felt like an intangible concept. 

And now Hinata was up there, too.

_What the hell should I do?_  
______________________________________________________________________________

She heard the cheers, and saw the masses of people swarm around a distant figure. As they pushed through the crowd, she could make out more and more of that beautiful, sunshine hair, those outrageous but endearing orange pants and jacket. 

He was alive and well. 

Letting go of a breath she had not known she was holding, she felt herself relax. Relief and pure happiness washed over her as Hyuuga members flanked her protectively. Not sure if she wanted to laugh or weep, she barely spared a thought for proper public etiquette as tears poured down her face. 

He was okay. It was okay. 

All was _not_ lost. Everyone was back, everyone was alive. They could still heal and still rebuild. And now… 

Naruto was a hero. All of his hard work paid off. She almost felt like a proud mother watching her son win some kind of an award as cheers and laughter filled the air. 

_You did it, Naruto-kun. They all finally recognised you for who you are. A hero._

There was a loud wacking sound, followed by a shocked silence, and she opened her eyes, no doubt red and puffy from crying. 

She saw Sakura. Embracing Naruto. 

_Ah. She finally realised it too._

She always admired Naruto, always wanted to see his hard work come to fruition. Facing abuse from all sides in the Hyuuga clan, the only person she thought she truly shared a bond of love with was her sister, who, in time, turned on her. 

Then she joined Team 8, and suddenly she was showered in love. Then, thanks to Naruto, she and Neji became closer than ever, and she eventually formed a strong, mutual bond of love there too. 

Before, love was something she wasn’t incredibly used to. 

Maybe that’s why she didn’t know what to feel as she saw Sakura hugging him. 

But she knew one thing. This was an incredible kunoichi, powerful, intelligent, beautiful. Naruto deserved only the best, and Hinata was pretty damn sure that Sakura was the best. 

So, watching them together, centre of the universe and lost to the world, she could only smile. 

She loved Naruto. Which is why she just wanted him to be happy. 

He earned it.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Something didn’t sit right with him. Even now, after a few days had passed since Pain’s assault, after a few, glorious days of hero worship and the villagers adoring him, something still felt wrong. 

Which was why he was walking through the ruined streets, in the dead of night, heading towards the temporary Hyuuga campsite. Neji was there, waiting for him as he had done the night before. He nodded at Naruto, who nodded back, and accepted the slip of paper that was passed to him. Giving Naruto one last nod, Neji headed into the campsite, and Naruto turned back to run away. 

He had been terrified. When he arrived to the cheering villagers that fateful day, he had been absolutely terrified of seeing her. Because, as more and more people crowded around him, he couldn’t help but see her standing in front of him, ready to fight to death. He couldn’t help seeing her broken body, bleeding into the ground. Sakura’s hug had been a pleasant surprise, and it certainly comforted him, as did the subsequent, endless rounds of “Hip hip, hooray!”. But he nevertheless made a point of leaving as early as he could. 

“Daisuki”. A term used to proclaim love. He had seen it used between lovers. He had seen it used between friends. He never quite understood it, nor the nuances of words of love in general. He never understood the difference between “daisuki” and aishite”, and never thought he needed to anyways. 

It was the first time something like that was directed towards him, and he wasn’t sure how to interpret it. 

He had told her before, about Kakashi’s lesson. Those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum. 

Was she just making a point about that? 

He wasn’t ready to see her. Not just yet. 

But he still wanted to thank her. For her sacrifice. For her words. 

So he reasoned that there was no other way to do this. 

He would be _her_ guardian angel once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not an expert of the various nuances of the Japanese language, so feel free to correct me if my whole "daisuki" thing was wrong. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! Thoughts and comments are always appreciated. This might have been a slightly heavy or maybe even boring chapter, so I'm anxious to hear what you all thought, and whether I should tone down the whole metaphorical "molten pain burned down their veins" stuff and just cut straight to the chase or not.


	12. Extra III: Lunch (5 Kage Summit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata has some thoughts, and decides to take a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be a bit weird, but also very fun to write. Also, I added a new chapter to the outline.
> 
> Enjoy~

No matter how much he’s come to appreciate her strength, he still underestimates her. He acknowledges her as a capable fighter and an excellent tracker, yet he always seems to ignore that. To him, no matter how much they have trained and no matter how much he’s seen her develop, Hinata was still the fragile vase she has always been. However, instead of being a fragile vase to be scorned at for its uselessness and weakness, Neji now saw her as something precious, delicate in its beauty and something to be admired. Something to be protected, not because you felt obligated to, but because it was that important to you. 

It was a nice change of pace after years of abuse and resentment, but it did get old. 

Part of it showed everytime he dropped off one of ~~Naruto’s~~ her “guardian angel’s” Messages. Though the Hyuuga compound had been utterly devastated in Pain’s assault, she had managed to convince her father to hold off having it rebuilt to allow for more resources and manpower for key buildings like the hospital or Hokage’s office. As such, the main family had been sleeping in one big tent for the past week. Neji would use that to his advantage and “covertly” place a letter each night next to her while she was “asleep”, then feign ignorance the next morning. 

Really, he did know that tracking and sensory was her speciality, right? 

Despite all that, she had nothing but appreciation towards her cousin for the gesture. The Messages gave her strength and confidence. Having been critically injured but not killed, she did not have the luxury of being revived and thus had to go through the excruciating process of healing after Sakura’s initial life-saving actions. In the few days since Pain’s assault, she had been ordered to bedrest, lying quietly on her bedroll all day while listening to the sounds of construction outside the tent. With the Messages, however, she was able to look at things with a more optimistic attitude, and as if by magic, her situation somehow turned out better than expected. Her father had been surprisingly tender and understanding about her situation, and even showed the intention of having her help redesign the new compound — once they got around to building it. The branch family, which had always loved her, were incredibly kind and offered their help beyond what was normally expected to be directed to the main family; the main family, which she had a more complex relationship with, was warmer than usual (with the exception of her grandfather, but they never really got on anyways). As they were in a single tent, she and Hanabi kept their bedrolls close, giggling and talking late into the night (much to the annoyance of their fellow main family members), catching up on lost chances. She also received a steady stream of visitors: her team, Shino and Kiba, were constants that brightened up her days; pregnant Kurenai, who sat by her and complained about her cravings; Team Guy, who she’s always been surprisingly close with; and Naruto, who briefly showed up every morning to check up on her, awkwardly laughing about random things, before rushing off.

She had briefly considered whether she should feel hurt by this, in case he was only visiting because he felt obligated to. Except, Naruto wasn’t like that; he was honest, and always true to his emotions (even if he sometimes didn’t understand them). If he did something, it would only be because he genuinely wanted to. Plus, that thank you she got from him the first morning after Pain’s attack felt too sincere to be out of the sense of duty.

Besides, his Messages were proof that he himself wasn’t content to simply leave her like that. Back when she first received them (coincidentally she was also healing from a critical injury back then), she reasoned that it was because Naruto was too busy to properly visit her himself; now, she felt that it was because he wasn’t sure how to approach her. The Messages from three years ago were all filled with encouragement and words of admiration for her courage; these new ones were very much the same, except the words and phrasing were filled with significantly more emotion and confusion. 

She felt guilty. He had so much on his plate, what with Sasuke and the Akatsuki. She had told him to forget about the Messages so that he could concentrate on what was important, and yet here she was, adding more distractions his way. 

It wasn’t like she confessed her love in a romantic sense, anyways. It was a spur of the moment decision. Friends are allowed to say I love you, right? He never mentioned it, and she never pushed, but if it was making him seem so confused, should she clarify? Tell him it was platonic and didn’t matter? 

_Yes, I think I should do that when I get the chance._

Today was the first day she was allowed to move around again, and it was with great relief that Neji helped her wobble to her feet and walk outside of the tent for the first time in almost a week. The sight of the village was impressive; already in the span of a few days, houses were going up, and the villages were hard at work, rapidly rebuilding upon what was essentially just dirt and gravel the last time Hinata had been outside. 

“It’s all amazing, isn’t it? The Will of Fire?” she mused and she leaned on Neji. 

“Indeed. It’s driving the village to go above and beyond to rebuild our home,” came his stoic answer. “I hear that carpenters are pouring in to assist from all over the continent. Plus the Sand has sent us medicine and food and other such resources.” 

She smiled. It was good news. The village that had once tried to destroy them was now sending them aid to rebuild. 

_It’s all because of how big an impact Naruto-kun left on the current Kazekage. We’re so close because of the bonds he forged._

“Thinking of Naruto, Hinata-sama?” 

This caught her by surprise.

“Wh-what? What makes you say that, Neji-niisan?” 

“Well,” he said thoughtfully, a slight smirk forming on his face, “it’s just that you’ve been getting that look on your face everytime he comes to visit. I recognise it because it makes you look incredibly dazed.” 

She blushed in response. 

They walked down the street for a bit, admiring the work the villagers were putting in. They listened in on some of their conversations, too. Some were about their work, others idle gossip. Many seemed to be about Naruto.

“Neji-niisan?” 

“Hmm?”

“Do you think that it is fair for the village to suddenly start worshipping Naruto after all they did to him?” 

He looked ahead thoughtfully for a moment. Seeing that he had no response, she pressed on. 

“I mean, I don’t blame them. Even I was afraid of Naruto for a while back in the Academy. The Kyuubi’s power is terrifying, and the fact that it could potentially break out of him would make anyone fear him. But… it’s just that…” 

“No one seems to be too apologetic?” 

“...Yes.” 

Neji sighed, pausing on the road as he looked across to the distant sight of the Academy being worked on. “I don’t know. Like you said, the villagers can’t be blamed for being so scared of him. Is it okay that they switched stances so quickly after Naruto became a hero? Honestly, I don’t know. At the end of the day, it all depends on whether Naruto chooses to forgive them or not.” 

She considered his words. It was something she thought a lot about during her stay in the tent, overhearing some Hyuuga discussing Naruto’s future prospects as Hokage. Neji’s answer was something that she arrived at herself, but it felt good to be backed up by a genius. 

They stood like that, comfortably leaning against one another, watching the volunteers lay down foundations on the dirt, seeing the villages take root again. It was a beautiful sight, getting to watch your home grow from the very beginning, seeing the resilience of your fellow villager. 

_Even if most of them are cowards._

“Yo! Hinata! Neji!” 

That voice. It was loud and cheerful, with a slight edge of awkwardness at her name. 

Naruto was behind them. 

“Naruto,” Neji greeted, eyeing Hinata out of the corner of his eye. 

“Hinata! I see you’re finally allowed to move around. How is it?” he asked cheerfully, waving an arm to gesture at the growing village. “Pretty cool, ya know.” 

“Yes,” she said with a smile. “So, uh, what are you up to?”

“Going to Ichiraku for some lunch, ya know!” 

Her eyebrows shot up. “They already rebuilt?”

“Well, not quite, but they have a basic set up to boost morale. Hey, how about you two join me?” 

She tensed. Hinata wasn’t quite expecting this.

 _Lunch? With Naruto-kun?_

Instinctively, her natural blush grew in size and intensity, and she tried breathing to calm down. It was merely lunch between friends, and Neji would be there too. 

“I-I… I would love to.” 

He beamed at her. 

“I think I’ll pass, I promised Tenten that I’d help her out with something,” Neji announced, slightly louder than he normally would have, and looked pointed at Naruto. They stood there, exchanging looks, as though Hinata wouldn’t notice. 

_Ah, Naruto-kun still thinks that I don’t know that he’s my “guardian angel”. He’s been using Neji-niisan to get me my Messages. Really, those two couldn’t have acted more suspicious even if they wanted to._

And then the full impact of what Neji was suggesting hit her. 

_Lunch… with just Naruto-kun? Just the two of us?_

Suddenly, it became very hard to breathe.

“Alright, have fun Neji!” Naruto finally said, a little forcefully. 

“I wish you the same. Hinata-sama, I will meet you at Ichiraku in about an hour’s time. Actually, make that an hour and a half.” 

His smile was gentle, but his eyes told her enough. A single whistle, and he’d be right there. 

Leaning in so that only she could hear, he whispered, “I know you’ve been trying to talk to him in private, without the Hyuuga main family eavesdropping. This is your chance.”

Nodding, blush ever present, she let go of him, and, knees shaking slightly, still weak from her week of bedrest, moved away to stand on her own. He too nodded, then turned to walk away.

 _Neji-niisan_. She couldn’t help but smile, even as she blushed furiously. He was doing more than just delivering Messages. This was a deliberate move. It was like he was a thread, trying to connect her to Naruto, like Kurenai and Jiraiya did before. 

He was protective. He still underestimated her. But he did more to actively guide her than anyone else. 

_You’ll always be one of my guardian angels, Neji-niisan._

“Shall we?” Naruto asked as he watched Hinata watch Neji move away. 

She turned to him, face red, knees shaking, and gave a firm, confident smile. She took a deep breath, and took a step closer to him, on her own. 

“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was okay. Thoughts and comments are appreciated as always.


	13. Lost on the Trail (Five Kage Summit - Fourth Shinobi War: Countdown)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the disastrous Five Kage Summit, Naruto and Sakura reflect on their actions, while Naruto takes time from thinking of Sasuke's downfall to ponder another problem -- love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part is primarily a character study and analysis. I used to think that Naruto confusing love for a person with love for ramen as a ridiculous excuse, but over time, it started making more sense to me. Throughout writing this story, that idea went from making sense to being a brilliantly deep analysis of Naruto's psyche. At least, to me. I hope that I managed to communicate it well. 
> 
> Furthermore, a small reminder that this isn't just a straight analysis, this is a story that, though written in the third person, shifts between the point of view of different characters. What is expressed are thoughts of the character who's POV is being shown at that time. I'm saying this now because I want to avoid being accused of bashing (you should be able to guess what I'm talking about based on the chapter summary). I don't like bashing fics, I genuinely think that the character in question is great, with a lot to explore, but they're also controversial, so I'd like to avoid people thinking that I dislike that character (I got a comment in an earlier chapter based on this issue, which is why I'm doing this frankly unnecessary reminder). 
> 
> Finally, chronology. Like I said before, this is following the manga, not anime. And based on the manga, it can be logically assumed that a while passed between Pain's attack and Team Samui's arrival in Konoha. Moreover, At least three days pass between Tsunade waking up, and the Kage deciding to send him to Turtle Island. Hope that's clear.
> 
> Sorry for that long introduction, but I felt that it was necessary. This is probably my favourite so far. Enjoy~

What _is_ love? Is love the kisses shared between a couple, together as one in the shadow of the night? Is love the bento given by the mother as their child ran off to school? Is love the stern scolding received by the husband from the wife for overworking and coming home late, or is it perhaps the look shared between long time teammates, off on another mission together? 

Is it the warm comfort of ramen, served from the hands of a kind man in a small restaurant, refuge from the cold and hostile glares of the rest of the village? 

Is it the acceptance of a teacher, willing to forget his own pain and hatred?

Or is it the notes of advice and supported, given by a selfless stranger, unwilling to take credit yet unwilling to leave a lonely boy to his misery?

 _“I read in a book that people smile a lot around those they love,”_ Sai had said. _”You smile a lot around Sakura. Have you told her about the way you feel?”_

Is that what love is? Smiling around someone? Did he feel the same soothing comfort, same warmth of acceptance around Sakura that he felt with Teuchi’s ramen? 

Yes. Not quite the same, with her the feeling was more fun than soothing, but yes. 

_”How can I?”_ he had replied, not knowing what else to say. _”When I can’t even keep a promise?”_

Is love, then, the ability to keep a promise? Like the promise Teuchi had made him, that he’d always be welcome at Ichiraku? That’s what he always thought. That’s what he thought when he promised to bring back Sasuke. 

_”Sakura-chan! Let’s go on a date!”_ was his constant battle cry when he was younger. She was pretty and popular. A prize to be won.

Over time, while on the same team as her, she began to accept him, and in turn, the need to ‘win’ her faded, and he began to feel a similar warmth towards her as he did towards ramen. He knew that he loved ramen, so he thought that meant he loved her. 

But now that he thought of it, lying on the grass by the unconscious forms of Kiba, Akamaru, Sai, and Rock Lee, exhausted from the emotional tidepool of the day he just had, he couldn’t help but think that, maybe he noticed it with Sakura because he payed more attention to her, wanted her love above anyone else's. 

Lying there as Sakura panicked over drugging her friends, he couldn’t help but think of his meeting with Sasuke earlier that day. Despite his old friend defecting, becoming a criminal and joining the Akatsuki, he still felt that warmth of acceptance from him. The first kid his age to openly accept him, the kid who offered him that bento during the Bell Test. Thinking it through, it was the exact same feeling he got from Sakura. Stretching his mind, he realised that that was the same feeling he got from Iruka, or from Kakashi, or from Shikamaru, or from Jiraiya. Did that mean he wanted to date the Pervy Sage like he did Sakura? 

He shuddered and almost gagged at the thought. 

So did he subconsciously associate that feeling he got from Sakura with the need to date because that’s what he expected of her? Even though he felt the same thing with Sasuke? 

Sighing in confusion, he shifted into a more comfortable position as he felt Sakura administering the antidote to Sai. He made _that_ promise to Sakura as a sign of his love. Because that was what a promise was. But was it from him to Sakura, or from him to Sasuke? Even if Sakura hadn’t asked him, he still would have fought to bring Sasuke back just as hard as he did. 

If anything, that promise convinced him that he wouldn’t be able to become Hokage until he saved Sasuke. He learned from the Third that being Hokage was a promise to the village, and how would he be able to keep that promise to the village if he couldn’t keep a promise to himself and his friends? 

Sasuke, who has been so completely consumed by darkness. Reaching Sasuke was as much of a goal to Naruto as being Hokage was, because Sasuke was someone that was right there, closer to reach. Yet, after today’s events, he felt farther than he had ever felt before, even those three years before Orochimaru’s death. 

So what _is_ love? 

Naruto growled in frustration. 

_Damn it! I’m not smart, or a great thinker! I don’t get this!_

_”I will accept all of your hatred, and I will die with you, Sasuke!”_

Was his declaration love? Does he love Sasuke?

Yes. 

Now, did he want to save Sasuke so desperately because he was Naruto’s best friend, because Naruto loved him, or because the current Sasuke reminded him too much of what _he_ could have become if not for Iruka? If not for the groundwork laid out by his guardian angel? 

Perhaps it was both. 

But what differentiated that “love” he felt for Sasuke from what Sakura felt towards Sasuke? Better yet, what drove Sakura to try and kill Sasuke, someone who she loved more than anyone else? 

_Damn it! Why’d Sakura have to lie and say she loved me? Now I’m even more confused than I was with Hinata! All of this on top of Sasuke!_

When Hinata told him she loved him, he had no time to react. In the aftermath, however, he had felt happy. Tremendously confused, but filled with warmth. It was Hinata, so he accepted it as her acknowledging their bond of friendship.

 _”Because I love you, Naruto.” Daisuki._ She had said that, back turned, facing down Pain, ready to protect him from being captured. 

With Sakura, he immediately accepted it as a romantic confession. And it made him angry. He later understood that she was concerned about him going after Sasuke, and that she cared, but he couldn’t help but feel insulted. 

_”I told you, I love you, Naruto.” Suki._ She had said that, facing him, blushing and looking shy, trying to protect him from his promise.

A sharp intake of breath caught his attention. He turned over to see Lee sitting up, groaning in pain as Sakura apologised to him. Beside them, Sai, Kiba and Akamaru were getting up too, looking sore and bewildered. At least Kiba was. Akamaru was a dog and Sai was a bleached mannequin. 

_I get that she just wanted to protect me, but crediting my efforts to save Sasuke to that promise feels like she’s insulting my bond with Sasuke._

“Naruto.” 

It was Kakashi, standing over him, looking grim. 

“Let’s head out.” 

Daisuki. Suki. Bond of friendship, bond of romance, it was all so confusing. He’s heard both terms used by people so many times in so many different situations that he was confused as to what either meant anymore. 

_Why couldn’t Sandaime-jiichan or Iruka-sensei have ever explained what any of this means?_

They started moving, and Naruto could barely pay attention to Kiba yelling and complaining to Sakura in the background. 

_What I need is advice. Proper advice._

He inwardly scoffed. The best advice he’d ever received was from the Notes — which he had now lost forever thanks to Pain — but he’d told Hinata that he’d lay off of them while Sasuke was still out on the loose. The more he thought of the Notes, the more he wondered about his guardian angel, and that would just make him lose focus. 

_Sasuke first, then love advice, I guess. Though this love business is distracting too. Hinata’s pretty good with the advice, and she’s a great listener, should I ask her?_

He shook his head, making some offhand comment to Kiba to make it seem like he was listening. _That’s not the type of thing you ask a girl. They’ll probably start ranting about handsome princes and being swept off of their feet or something, making stuff more confusing._

_Hinata’s not like that though. Still, it’s weird._

Why was it weird? He wasn’t sure. What he did know was that Hinata started this problem, and he wasn’t sure if she could help him solve it. 

Still….

_Heh, Hinata feels like ramen too._

She made him feel warm and comfortable enough to open up. 

She was soothing.  
______________________________________________________________________________

They sped towards Konoha with urgency. With Danzo killed, Kakashi was next in line to be Hokage, meaning that he had to get back to the village as soon as possible. As they leapt from tree to tree, Sasuke’s old teammate on Akamaru’s back, Sakura strayed towards the back of the group, too ashamed to be surrounded by her friends that she had drugged, or Naruto. 

_As it turned out, I ended up being useless after all. No matter what I do…_

She was willing to throw away everything for Naruto’s sake. Become a scapegoat in his eyes, the target for his anger. Throw away her own feelings. 

_After all that training, after everything Tsunade-sama taught me, I couldn’t even do anything._

She began slowing down, trailing further away from the group and watching Naruto, who was at the front, arguing with Yamato over something silly.

_How does he always pick himself back up so easily? After everything, how can he be so strong?_

_Is this what Hinata saw in him, so long ago? Why did it take me so long…?_

With a pang, she realised that she hadn’t even considered Hinata when she made her ‘confession’. She had just been so desperate to free Naruto of his burden that she inadvertently undermined one of her own friends and old classmates. What if Naruto had fallen for her trick? What would happen to Hinata? 

_Hinata’s just as oblivious as Naruto, though. From what Tenten told me about the Hyuuga clan, and what she must have gone through, it wouldn’t be shocking if Hinata had trouble identifying love herself._

“So, that was pretty much a disaster, huh.” 

She looked up in surprise, only to see Kiba running beside her, eyes trained forward. 

She cursed inwardly. She didn’t want to deal with this anymore. She didn’t have the energy. 

“What do you want?” 

“The way you feel about Sasuke… it’s similar to how Hinata feels about Naruto, isn’t it? It isn’t just some stupid girly crush situation like with Ino, right?”

Feeling a strong wave of indignation on her friend’s behalf, Sakura nevertheless bit her tongue and allowed Kiba to continue. 

“It’s the kind of love that makes you go crazy enough to get yourself killed, like with Hinata, right?” 

“Don’t say something like that about Hinata,” she snapped at him, anger, fanned by her own immense shame, bubbling inside of her. “She’s your own teammate.” 

“Exactly. Which means I understand that it can’t be helped. I get that even agreeing that Sasuke needed to be eliminated would have hurt you a lot. If anything like that happened with Naruto, I know for a fact that Hinata would be in unbelievable pain.” 

“What are you getting at?” 

Turning his head to look at her, Sakura noticed that he looked a little frightening. As if the canine features of the Inuzuka clan were becoming more amplified. 

“Did you know that Hinata was the only one opposed to Sasuke being killed? When we met up to talk about the situation?”

It was an unexpected comment, but unsurprising nonetheless. Guilt resurfaced at the thought of what he did. 

“Yeah, she’s too nice, said that he’s a comrade. Plus, she told us to trust in Naruto’s judgment.” 

_Trust Naruto? Like how I should have from the beginning?_

“Why are you telling me this?” she asked, looking away. 

“Because as much as I trust Hinata, and love her to death, I don’t trust Naruto. And, honestly, I don’t trust you.” 

“You… what the hell are you talking about?” Sakura felt stunned. And incredibly offended. “How can you not trust Naruto? Naruto saved the village from Pain! He beat you, and he has beaten countless others! He—”

“No, I know, he’s super strong. My mom makes sure to remind me of that fact a lot,” he said, wincing. “No, I trust his strength. I don’t trust his judgment. I know what it’s like to care about your team. You end up doing stupid crap whenever one of them’s in danger. I actually respect that you care about your pack.” 

“My pack? We’re not dogs, Kiba.” 

“Whatever! My point still stands! Naruto’s famous for doing crazy crap, and he’s obsessed with his friends. He’ll do anything to save Sasuke, and from what I heard from him back when we woke up, he’s willing to get himself killed over Sasuke. I don’t want Hinata to suffer from that.” 

That was certainly not what Sakura was expecting. Shock at Kiba’s loyalty and love for his teammate killed any response she could have given him. 

“And you yourself showed that you can’t be trusted,” he pressed on, slowing down even more so that the rest of the group grew more distant. “The plan was to eliminate Sasuke, _together._ Even if it wouldn’t have worked, you still betrayed us. I’m an Inuzuka, and loyalty is more important to me than anything else.” 

Kiba took a deep breath, and as Sakura finally gathered the energy to look back up at him, she noticed that his glare had hardened. 

“I’m not blaming you for Sasuke getting away or anything, but if we had all been there, I’m sure that we couldn have done _something_. I just know it. You were selfish. And if this all comes back to bite us in the ass in the future, and Sasuke comes to destroy our village, I don’t care if Naruto, Mr Hero of Konoha faces off with him. You’re done for. I have a family, a clan. And more than that. You, Naruto and Sasuke were only a team for a year. I’ve had four years to deepen my bond with Hinata and Shino. They’re part of my pack too. If Sasuke hurts anyone I love, or even endangers them, _then_ I’m gonna blame you.”

“Oh what, are we in the Academy again and playing the blame game? What’s _blaming_ going to achieve?” Sakura countered irritably, but that was only a facade. She couldn’t help but shudder at Kiba’s sudden, cold threat. Inside she felt a powerful cacophony of emotions that was threatening to break her apart. 

“Just remember, not everything’s about Team 7.” 

And, his threat voiced, Kiba sped up again, rejoining the rest of the group and traveling by Akamaru’s side. 

_Crying won’t help, Sakura_

She watched the guys speeding forward, not looking back, all too lost in their own thoughts. At the front was Naruto, his back getting farther and farther away. 

_I promised myself that I’d catch up to them. That I’d be able to stand back to back with them._

Blinking rapidly and looking down, her pace became even slower, before she just stopped completely. The emotional weight of the past few days crashed into her at once, making her wobble on the spot. The little bits of sunlight filtering through the leaves of the forest illuminated the dew and bright green leaves of the trees in a beautiful stage, as though little crystals of light were hanging from the leafy roof, setting the scene for her breakdown.

Her performance was set, but her audience was facing away. 

Was she being selfish, trying to spare Naruto’s feelings, trying to take responsibility on her own? She just wanted to fix Team 7’s problems. Was that selfish? 

_I just wanted Sasuke to stop becoming this dark thing. I… wanted to kill him before he lost himself completely, so that I wouldn’t have to see the boy I love become something I hate. Is that wrong?_

Was that so wrong? 

“Oi Sakura-chan! What’s wrong? We have to get back to the village pronto, ya know!” 

There was his voice again. So brash, so rough around the edges. It was always so annoying, louder than life, brighter than the sun. It always made her feel like nothing was wrong. 

The group had stopped, looking back to see Sakura standing on a branch on her lonesome, a considerable distance away. Though she kept her head down, she felt the gust of wind that accompanied Naruto’s swift approach. Nimble and fast, the product not of superior genes and talent, but of hours of arduous work. 

“Hey, Sakura-chan. What’s the matter?” 

_You’ve always believed in me, and I let you down. Again._

“It’s… it’s nothing. I’m just a little tired.” 

She could practically see him nodding sympathetically. Feeling a reassuring hand placed on her shoulder, she automatically moved to brush it off, then stopped, remembering just how much she must have emotionally hurt him today. Naruto was in the same boat. He didn’t need her treating him as she usually did. There was a limit to how much rough affection one could take when emotionally spent. 

“Do you want us to take a break? If we do, I’m sure we’ll be even faster after, ya know!” 

_He… he keeps doing that. I keep holding him back._

Kiba was right. She was being selfish. She, a pupil of the Fifth Hokage, couldn’t keep holding him back. 

“No. I’m ready. Go ahead, I’ll catch up.” 

Still not looking up, she heard Naruto give an uncertain “if you’re sure,” and jump back to the group. Clenching her fists, she filled her heart with resolve. 

_Sasuke-kun. If Naruto says he’ll save you, I’ll trust him. We **will** save you. Team 7 **will** laugh together again one day._

Wiping her eyes, she began to cover the distance, taking larger leaps and moving faster. 

_You couldn’t have picked a better guy to be in love with, Hinata. I wish you the best._  
______________________________________________________________________________

“What is this? I’m being sent to a top secret mission on some Kumo island?” 

Kakashi nodded grimly. They were currently outside of the Hokage’s tent, having just read an advance message received from Tsunade, who was attending a Five Kage meeting in Kumogakure. 

“Awesome!” 

“I would have expected you to be a little less enthusiastic about leaving the village, considering all that has happened,” Kakashi mumbled, wincing at the sheer volume of Naruto’s cheers. 

“Yeah, I know, I really do want to stay and help against the Akatsuki, but if I’m being sent on a super S-class mission to some paradise island, then it’s almost definitely something about stopping Madara, ya know! I’m just that awesome and strong.” 

_Plus, the Great Toad Sage did say that I’d go to a paradise island!_

“You really seem to have gotten a big head since becoming the village hero,” Yamato muttered, rubbing his head in frustration. 

“What? Nah. Though, a lot of people do seem to be more friendly to me. And these guys asked for my autograph the other day.” Frowning, Naruto realised that, though he had been asked that several more times after, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling of utter confusion he had experienced that first time. 

It was baffling. Since becoming a ninja, primarily since beating Neji, he hadn’t received that many angry glares as he used to, but now, he was practically being worshipped. He couldn’t help but feel a little bitterness bubble in his throat. It felt fake, like Sakura’s ‘confession’. 

“So, anyways, when do I leave? I gotta start packing, ya know!” 

“You have until 8:00 this evening to meet Yamato and the rest of your team back at the main gate. That gives you a couple hours to enjoy at Ichiraku,” Kakashi explained, his eye twinkling. 

“Whaaat? How’d you know?” 

“Naruto,” Yamato snapped. “You don’t have any possessions _to_ pack. Your apartment was demolished in Pain’s assault.” 

“Oh. Right.” 

He had honestly forgotten. Waving a quick farewell at them, he strolled through the busy streets, watching as timber and supports were being placed, houses rebuilt, and workers sang merrily. He was watching the village being reborn again, and he felt proud of the strength of the Will of Fire. 

_I won’t let Sasuke or Madara or anyone ruin that._

Despite everything that the village had put him through, he still genuinely loved it. And he wasn’t even unsure of that. Thanks to Iruka, Teuchi, and the Third, he knew for a fact that he wanted to protect the village with his life. 

Still, it was with a heavy heart that he set off towards Ichiraku. Yamato’s remark had reminded him of the loss of the Notes, which had been lost along with his entire apartment building. Despite searching for hours among the wreckage, there was no trace of it anywhere, and though he briefly considered asking Hinata or Neji to inspect the area with their Byakugan, Neji was too busy with jounin duties these couple of weeks, and Hinata had been preoccupied with healing from Pain’s attack. 

What he hadn’t lost was Hinata’s ointment. 

Because unlike the Notes, that case held no connection to the guardian angel. Therefore, it wasn’t something that particularly distracted him. He had even taken it to Mount Myoboku, where he got into the habit of rubbing it before sleeping. 

It was his first real present from a peer (his hitai-ate, given by Iruka, was his first ever present), and he cherished it. 

Besides, he found it surprisingly soothing to run his fingers over the mostly smooth casing, tracing the little cracks that ran down a few areas. He didn’t even remember where those cracks originated from, just that they were there forever. 

_It makes me feel calm, sort of like Hinata does._

“Naruto, what a surprise to find you here.” 

He had reached Ichiraku, where he, lost in thought, almost ran straight into a figure just about to leave. 

“Iruka-sensei!” he cried, grinning. He was happy to see his old teacher again. 

“It feels like we haven’t seen each other in forever! Come on, let me treat you!” 

“Alright! Wait, didn’t you already have food?”

“Yeah, well, I’ll be talking more than I’ll be eating. Plus, I can go for a second helping.” 

Settling down and ordering, Naruto ended up conveying everything that had transpired over the past week to Iruka. Almost an hour later, his old teacher’s jaw was still hanging loose as Naruto finished off his second bowl, finishing his ~~highly exaggerated~~ tale by explaining about his mission. 

“I don’t really know the details yet, but apparently it’s super secret! I can’t tell you where, but by the looks of it, things are working out well. It must be Fate, ya know!” 

“Well, look at the boy who beat Hyuuga Neji talk about Fate,” Iruka finally managed to laugh out. “What, convinced that you becoming a hero was destiny?” 

“Oh, I always knew that I’d be a hero, I don’t need destiny for that,” Naruto joked. “Besides, I’m not saying there isn’t _any_ wiggle room. Just that some things are supposed to happen, ya know.” 

“So you must be excited.” Grinning, Iruka reached out to hand Naruto a napkin, noticing that his old student was dribbling some ramen. “From the sound of it, this mission is really important.”

“Befitting of a hero like me, of course!”

“Of course.” Iruka suddenly frowned. “By the way, I know you’re joking, but don’t let this “hero worship” thing get to you, okay? You’re arrogant and big-headed as it is.” 

“Hey!” 

“All I’m saying is to be a little careful. You don’t want to lose sight of yourself over your new status. The village is spoiling you too much.” 

Pausing, Iruka then nudged Naruto, and, in a much softer voice, added, “though, to be fair, if anyone deserves to be spoiled, it’s you. I’m proud of you.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Chuckling weakly, Naruto accepted his third bowl from Ayame, looking at the egg with a small smile. “It’s just so surreal, ya know. It’s all I ever wanted. It’s just... “

“So sudden?” 

“Yeah.” 

Not counting Hinata, his relationship with whom had always been in a very strange ‘I-think-she-hates-me-but-she’s-still-very-nice’ situation, not counting Teuchi and Ayame, who always accepted him, Iruka was the first to change his mind on Naruto. The first to see Naruto, hate him, then chose to overcome that hate. And that conscious effort would always be important to him. While Ichiraku was always a safe haven, Iruka represented Naruto’s hope that one day, he genuinely could change the minds of the entire village, and maybe actually become Hokage. But with Iruka, there was always confusion; Iruka may have hated him, but even before Mizuki, the teacher had always made a conscious effort to be kinder to Naruto than anyone else. 

With the village, there was a transition, yes, from outright hate to grudging respect, but this still all felt far too fast. 

“Well, think of it this way. Before, they didn’t really see you. They were too busy thinking about the Kyuubi to really pay attention to Uzumaki Naruto. Now, now that you showed them that the Kyuubi doesn’t make a difference to your loyalties to the village, they see you for who you really are — a hero. This is their genuine reaction to you, Uzumaki Naruto.”

Naruto smiled. Iruka was like Hinata. He always knew what to say to cheer him up. 

Half an hour later, Naruto was waving his old teacher goodbye as he walked to the gate to meet his team. He was a bit early, but he thought he’d take the time to watch the construction efforts. Plus, he was hoping to see someone. 

“Naruto-kun?” 

His already cheerful smile turned into a delighted grin. _What’d ya know, fate really does exist._

“Hinata! I was hoping to run into you!” 

“O-oh? Wh-what for?” 

They had spent quite a bit of time together since Pain’s invasion. In the three days since he came back from his confrontation with Sasuke, he had spent lunchtimes eating or hanging out with her and Team 8. Partially, it was due to the need to get away from Team 7 for a little. Mostly, it was the absolute freeing feeling he got when he hung out with Hinata. They had a chaotic but strangely close rapport since Academy days; he never felt the crushing need to impress her like he did with others, and she made him feel so _calm_. Vulnerability was difficult for him, but it was easier by her side. 

Plus, for the first time since he got back from his training trip with Jiraiya, for the first time since their Academy days really, he was spending quality time with her, and had noticed that she was significantly less shy and more open. And the more they hung out, the more he realised just how surprisingly interesting she was. Learning more about her was fascinating, and the things he did learn felt… familiar. 

And the more time he spent with her, the less he lamented over the lost Notes. 

_She used to be scared of you,_ a voice would keep clawing at the back of his head. _She’s no better than the rest of them._

 _Shut up,_ he’d respond. _She got over it back in the Academy, remember? She told us that_

“I just wanted to say that I was assigned on a really important mission, and that I’d be off for a while.”

“Oh, it must be very dangerous if they’re sending you,” she said, concern showing in her eyes. 

_They’re so damn expressive. They look exactly like Neji’s, but unlike his, her eyes always seem so easy to read._

“Please be careful, Naruto-kun. I’m sure you’ll do splendidly, just try to take care of yourself too.” Blushing slightly, she added, “I… I’ll worry.” 

Grinning, he rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “Don’t worry, Hinata. I’ll be just fine!” He refrained from putting that reassuring hand on her shoulder though, the one his instincts were telling him to move. She wasn’t exactly a touchy person, and Kiba and Shino had made sure he remembered that. 

She smiled, and that same warmth — the warmth he felt around her, similar to ramen’s but hotter, more soothing — filled his chest. 

“I’m glad this mission’s come up, though. I’ve just been getting really overwhelmed. I think a dangerous mission will get my head cleared up a bit.” 

“I don’t think the stress of a dangerous mission will be any better for you than your current worries, Naruto-kun,” she said, frowning. 

“Trust me, I can’t tell you much, ‘cause the details are secret, but I know that something good is gonna happen, ya know?” _At least, according to that old Toad Sage._

“Then you should trust your intuition. You have wonderful judgment, when it matters most.” 

The heat doubled in his chest, spreading through his body. It wasn’t a particularly original compliment, and he had admirers left and right now spewing crap about how amazing he was, but somehow, her words felt so much more genuinely. They made him feel so much better. They always did. 

“Thanks, Hinata. You’re the best!” 

He continued to stare down at her, smiling brightly, feeling fuzzy and happy and much calmer, while she continued to smile up at him, looking slightly puzzled, the little blush on her cheeks growing the longer he stared. It wasn’t until a distant crash from a construction site did he realise what he was doing and cleared his throat. 

“So, I guess I better be heading out, then. Big mission, ya know.”

“W-wait,” she blurted out as he waved her goodbye and began heading out.

“Yeah?” 

“W-well, you said that you wanted to run into me, right?”

“Yeah?”

“W-well, is that all you wanted to tell me? That you have a mission?” 

“Yeah!” 

“B-but… if this mission is so important… “ She looked like she was struggling to get the words out, and suddenly looked down. “Why waste time telling me?”

“I wouldn’t want to leave my lunch partner alone without warning, ya know!” 

Winking, he ran off towards the main gate, spirits high, not noticing that Hinata’s blush had extended beyond her face and into her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter. I realise that most of this story has been analysis so far, so if you think that more action is needed, let me know (I do have action planned, but it would interesting to see what you all think). Also, I know that that Sakura scene probably didn't feel like I was bashing her (hopefully), but I did have Sakura call herself useless (which, to be fair, she does in the manga), which is probably a sore spot for many people. 
> 
> I hope that Kiba didn't come off as too OOC or unlikable in this chapter. I really wanted to have that dialogue, but wasn't sure who to use, so I thought that Kiba would be most suited to it. 
> 
> Another thing, I feel like Naruto in the manga and anime doesn't give nearly enough credit to Teuchi and Ayame. He said that Iruka and Sasuke were the first to accept him when really, there's no way that's true. So, here's me speculating as to why.


	14. Longing for Warmth (Fourth Shinobi War)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Fourth Shinobi Raging around her, Hinata is unsure if she has what it takes to keep fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I present to you the longest chapter so far, as well as my proudest (hopefully, you'll be able to see why). 
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> *I changed the way I format certain things.

It was a blur.

They just kept coming. 

“Air Palm!” 

Three down. eight more took their place. 

“Eight Trigrams: Thirty-two Palms!” 

She struck them down in quick succession, barely dogging one of those horrific white monsters from striking her head as she finished her attack. She whirled around and struck him in his midsection, blasting him away. Concentrating the chakra into the tenketsu of her palm, she quickly blasted out a concentration of chakra, moulding it into senbon and striking down a White Zetsu trying to choke an Iwa-nin. 

“Thanks!” the poor ninja croaked out before another Zetsu appeared out of nowhere and gouged her eyes out. Her screams reverberated across the battlefield, yet Hinata, who, with her Byakugan, saw it happening, ignored it. She was too busy trying to keep herself alive against the seemingly endless torrent of white clones. 

They were endless. 

The field was crawling with them.

She was so tired. 

While keeping lookout with her Byakugan, she and Neji had spotted an army of the white creatures storming towards a peaceful town filled with innocent civilians. Thinking about, the enemy had just wanted to provoke the Shinobi Alliance into engaging. 

Of course the Alliance engaged. 

It had been hours. She was fighting nonstop, her movements becoming sluggish, her chakra at dangerously low levels. Every muscle in her body ached with exhaustion; though she avoided losing previous blood, far too much of her body was now covered in deep bruises and chakra burns. 

A group of ten came and surrounded her, raising their fists, charging in unison, ready to cut her down. Gritting her teeth, she just managed to unleash a wave of chakra from every tenketsu as they were millimeters away, knocking them away, unbalancing them, giving her the chance to breathe, and to unleash another flurry of palm strikes and deadly blows. It was a crude imitation of the Heavenly Revolution her cousin and fellow main branch Hyuuga were so proficient at, lacking the spinning component, but it was effective at disorienting enemies, and less taxing. Nevertheless, her enhanced vision blurred, her head spun, and her skin burned from each and every one of those makeshift attacks. 

Ten went down, and fifteen took their place. A fellow Konoha-nin took out a large chunk of them with a Fire Style jutsu, giving Hinata the opportunity to cut down a couple dozen more of them before she saw, within the heaps of disgusting white bodies, an arm shoot out to grab her leg. That was one weakness of the Hyuuga. Simply seeing things did not always allow them to react fast enough. 

The Zetsu’s grip was ruthless and bone-crushing, and before she could do anything about it, she felt the monster tug down, hard, knocking her down to the ground. One more Zetsu jumped at the chance, moving to stab her through the neck with a dangerously sharp wooden spear, only for the ground to shake from a distant jutsu, unbalancing him. Taking the opportunity, she blasted him away with an Air Palm before cutting off the other Zetsu's hand with a kunai and stabbing it through the head. 

Fifteen down. Thirty more took their place. 

An Edo Tensei, some famed Iwa-nin blessed with Explosion Style, blew up the bodies of a couple of her Kiri comrades, splattering her face in their blood. Hinata dodged the reanimated ninja, deflecting an explosive technique with a chakra encased hand, only for the shock wave from the jutsu’s detonation to knock her off her already unstable feet. The Zetsu rushed towards her, and she thought that it was it. A lifetime of training, of pushing herself to be better, and it only took a day of nonstop fighting and fatigue, some plant zombies, and a dead man to best her.

“Hinata-sama!” 

Neji, half-blind from overusing his eyes and even more exhausted than her, flew in, scattering the Zetsu and moving to engage the Edo Tensei. A Kiri ninja accompanied him, firing a whip of water to lash out at the Zetsu. With time to catch her breath, she got up and, with her newfound Kiri friend, finished off the group. She whirled around and fired off three consecutive Air Palms at the Edo Tensei, who was dodging and flying around Neji’s attack. Her ranged attack missed, but managed to disorent him to miss her own attack. 

She barely had time to watch as Neji rushed the Edo Tensei with his Gentle Fist attacks, turning to assist several other Alliance ninja as they held back the swarm of Zetsu. There was no time. No time at all. 

No time to think. 

No time to stop and mourn the dead. 

Her own time seemed to be running out.

The endless horde of Zetsu seemed to be going for her more than anyone else there. A testament to how well Neji had trained her. A testament to the power of the Hyuuga clan, strongest in Konoha. Though they didn’t have the flashiest techniques or fighting style, the way they commanded the battlefield was awe inspiring; even back in a time when the Uchiha fought within the ranks of the Konoha ninja, the Hyuuga were powerhouses. 

Yet with great power came crushing negative side effects as Hinata saw yet another one of her comrades, this time an Iwa ninja, fall by the hands of the Zetsu. Her Byakugan allowed her to see everything. Everything. She was capable of seeing every person and action within 360 degrees of her simultaneously. And, though it was a strategic blessing, Hinata’s empathetic heart couldn’t handle watching so many of her comrades fall all at the same time. She felt a little bit of her die each time another one of her comrades went down. Barely keeping herself alive, she couldn’t do anything to help as the Suna-nin who so kindly helped her set up her tent last night had his throat slashed open, and could only watch the blood gurgle as the dead body fell to the ground. There was nothing she could do as the reanimated body of a Kumo master swordsman slashed down an Inuzuka and her dog, their screams ringing in their ears. 

There was nothing she wanted to do more than to just stop, to curl up into a ball and drown in her own tears. The death and despair surrounding her as they pushed themselves to the limit trying to give time for the innocent civilians to evacuate was choking her, consuming her. Fear grasped her heart tightly, and with each shinobi down, with each kunai slash and explosion that her genius cousin barely dodged, it squeezed. Hard. 

Her father was right. All those years ago, he was right. She was too gentle, too kind, too weak. She had no place being a shinobi. She couldn’t stomach this. She couldn’t handle this. She couldn’t live with this. Even as hot fear and panic welled up within her, a cold, a deep, freezing, numbing cold was settling in her heart, trying to pull into the void. 

She couldn’t focus on protecting herself. Her Byakugan automatically let her see everything around her. 

_Make it stop._

They took down thirty. Fifty more came up. 

_I can’t._

Neji speared the Edo Tensei through the heart, disrupting the reanimation technique. His Byakugan briefly flickered off as the corpse fell, and a Zetsu tackled him, putting him in a headlock. 

_No._

Fifty went down. Seventy more came up.

_I’m not strong enough._

A screaming Kumo ninja, wildly firing off Lightning Style attacks, panicked and afraid, tripped over the dead body of her twin, falling straight into the blade of the Kumo Edo Tensei. 

_It’s too much._

The Kiri ninja that saved her alongside Neji was being torn up by Zetsu, and was using his own severed arm to bat the white monsters away. 

_Somebody…_

A chunin was feebly wrestling a Zetsu as blood poured from a blade in his head, her Byakugan watching his life drain away. He was a Suna shinobi who she helped out last night during dinner, and ended up having a wonderful conversation with.

He had told her that he became a ninja because his parents wanted him to. He enjoyed bird watching and wanted to paint professionally after retiring his hitai-ate. 

His name was also Hinata. 

Suna’s Hinata collapsed in front of Konoha’s Hinata, the life fading from his eyes as he stared up at her. 

_Somebody make it stop._

_Make it stop._

_Make it stop._

_MAKE IT STOP._

_MAKE IT STOP._

_MAKE IT STOP._  
______________________________________________________________________________  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Six years ago**

“Make it stop!”

“Come on, Sakura, if you can’t handle this, how will you handle the real deal?” 

This week, Iruka-sensei was teaching them on torture and interrogation. It was one of the two classes that Iruka had avoided giving them until they were mature enough, but after a significant amount of convincing, he had finally whipped out the chains, lamp, and restrictive seals to give them a basic overview on what to do when forcibly extracting information from someone. Today’s lesson was on what to do when **you** were the one having information extracted from them. 

In other words, Iruka was having them get tickled by a feather. 

After being put into pairs, they were each given a sentence to remember before being strapped down and mercilessly tickled while also being questioned, a light genjutsu placed on each of them to ensure heightened and equal sensitivity. The ‘torture’ was timed; giving away your sentence would stop the tickling and the timer. Each pair had to go up in front of the rest of the class and take turns ‘torturing’ each other. Scores for the torturer were determined by their torture techniques and questioning method, while the torturee’s were based on how long and how well they could resist the feather. 

“Nonohahahnoo-waaahahaha! Make it stop!” Sakura was screeching between uncontrolled fits of laughter as Ino kept it up on the sole of her feet. “Okay, okay, I’ll TEELL YOOOU-HAHAHAH! AAAH, THE WEAPON IS IN STORAGE C, STORAGE CEEEE!!” 

“And that’s Sakura down! Ino, you can stop now,” Iruka announced, marking down their scores on his clipboard. Though they weren’t told their scores immediately after, the students themselves had taken to timing each other, as well as judging torture ability. Currently, with only one more pair to go, Shino was at the top of the class, having been the only one to successfully tire out his interrogator without surrendering his sentence, and from the looks of it, he and Ino were tied for best interrogator as well. 

Hinata, on the other hand… 

She had been so scared of making herself undignified in front of the whole class that she surrendered her sentence, “Hokage’s on the move”, before Sasuke, her partner, could barely even touch her with his feather. And when she had to interrogate him, she had been so hesitant to tickle and question him that Iruka had to swap her out for someone else. At the moment, she was at the bottom of the class. 

She just couldn’t do it. Even hearing and watching her fellow classmates being tickled was enough to upset her. Just the implication that one day, they might get captured and tortured was making her sick. She couldn’t do it. 

“Final pair, Uzumaki Naruto and Yamada Tarou!”

Immediately, Hinata leaned forward in interest, a slight blush colouring her cheeks. She was excited to see Naruto’s unyielding resilience and willpower put to test, and she was curious to see how well he understood the information on interrogation she had relayed in yesterday’s Message. 

As Naruto psyched himself up, the rest of the class turned around, uninterested. As they put it, it was obvious that Naruto would fail, perhaps even worse than Hinata. Though she said nothing, she couldn’t help but feel indignant on Naruto’s behalf. Even if he had struggled with the questioning exercise last time didn’t mean he didn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. 

“AHAHAHA!”

She blinked. Naruto had only struggled for several seconds before succumbing to laughter, barely containing himself as Tarou, very gently, wiggled the feather, a totally disgusted look on his face. A few more wiggles, and Naruto breathlessly burst out: “Map’s on the third floor, the third FLOOOR!” 

He failed to resist the feather. 

“Alright, switch!” Iruka called out.

Hinata couldn’t help but wince as Naruto failed interrogating as well. He simply had to tickle the soles of Tarou’s feet. It was beyond her how Tarou had to get sent to the Academy nurse with a feather jammed up his nose. 

At the end of the day, she and Naruto were the only two to fail. 

But she’s used to it. They’re both used to it. 

The difference was that she accepted defeat, as always. He did not. 

When the Academy bell rang, and their classmates charged out of class, Iruka held them back, a compassionate and pitying eye for her, a hard, scolding glance for him.

“Look, you two will have to take remedial classes for this.” 

“Eh? Why do I have to take extra classes?” Naruto protested. 

Hinata kept silent. 

“This is an important course,” Iruka scolded. “While I probably could have let you go without passing the interrogation section, the torture resistance is an absolute requirement, even for a genin. I know that we were just tickling back then, but keeping cool while being questioned while under duress is a very important skill for a ninja. What if you’re on a mission in the future and get captured? You won’t be allowed to graduate without passing this.”

A deep sense of dread overcame her at the thought of informing her father she had to take remedial classes. Then, a more shallow but still very prominent feeling of doom completely overtook her. 

“W-wait, I-Iruka-sensei. Do N-Naruto-kun and I have to t-take these c-classes together?” 

She looked fearfully at Naruto, fidgeting, then turning away when he turned to stare at her, missing his surprised expression. 

“No worries, Hinata, these will be done one on one with me.” Iruka offered her an encouraging smile that she ignored, too confused about the sudden feelings of disappointment and relief battling within her. 

Apparently, relief must have been winning, or at least winning in controlling her expression, because Naruto suddenly got right up close with her, a scowl on his face. 

“What, ya don’t want to work with me?” 

“N-no, I-I, uh—” 

“You’re so nice to everyone but me, ya know. What are you, a faker?” 

“F-faker? N-no, I just—” 

“I always thought you were okay, but if you’re _soooo_ happy that you don’t have to work with me, then—”

“Naruto, that’s enough! She was just checking how the remedial classes worked!” Iruka scolded, a hard hand pressing down on Naruto’s head. 

“But Iruka-sensei! She looked so happy about it, ya know!” 

“Why does that bother you?” 

Why did it bother him? Hinata, though feeling incredibly guilty, nevertheless was curious about Naruto’s outburst. Her reaction was mild, positively nonexistent compared to how the rest of the class might have reacted at having to work with him. 

After scolding Naruto a bit, Iruka left the class, Hinata running after him to turn off the lights. The sounds of children skipping and laughing as their parents took them home was sounding through the open classroom windows. Due to their training, today was allotted as an extended school day, so the warm, orange light of the setting sun was already illuminating the class through the classroom. She loved it like that; Hinata preferred the orange warmth of the sunset to the cold, harsh glare of fluorescent lighting. 

Since losing the heiress title to her sister, she had been allowed a little bit more freedom in school, so, taking full advantage of that, she had asked Kou to come pick her up in an hour. She hated it back in the Hyuuga compound, where she was constantly the subject of scrutiny and ridicule by her clansmen, so she tried spending as little time there as possible. Even if she lied a bit about the Academy hours, she thought it unlikely that her father would even notice; he only seemed to remembered her existence whenever she was in sight, and that usually led to harsh training sessions that resembled systematic beatings more than anything else. 

So, she stayed in the Academy, either spending her time absorbed in her books, or otherwise maintaining their classroom or tending to the class plants, which were thriving under her gentle touch, sitting on the window sill and basking under the sun’s warmth. 

Warmth. 

Born in December to the Hyuuga, daughter of Hiashi, there was nothing Hinata longed for more than warmth. 

Speaking of which… 

“Hey, sorry about getting all angry earlier, ya know?” 

Hinata kept her head low as she tidied up her classmates’ desks, trying not to look at his bright, yellow hair or those sparkling, blue eyes. He was the definition of warmth, of fiery determination, and Hinata yearned to understand how, how on earth he managed to keep the flames of his will alive. Every time he focused his chakra, her Byakugan picked up a dark, sinister power swirling along with his own, and she often wondered if his complete disregard for the village’s hatred for him, and his undending perseverse, was a side effect of the Kyuubi’s power. If his ability to keep going was caused by the Fox’s mysterious power. 

But she was convinced now, after watching him for so long, that his will was some mysterious power of his own. And that made him even more fascinating. 

“Look, I was just frustrated about failing, ya know? And you’re usually so nice, so... But I swear, I won’t need re… rem…. I won’t need extra classes! I’ll master handling torture in record time, and I will be uncrackable! It’ll be the first step to being Hokage, ya know!” 

Keeping her head down, she mustered a faint smile. Him directly yelling at her was making her unsurprisingly flustered, but there was admiration and affection shining in her eyes as she look down at Chouji’s crumb covered desk.

“I… I know you will,” she whispered. 

“Eh? Can’t hear you, Hinata, ya gotta speak up, ya know.” 

“I…” her voice quavered. He walked up closer to him and leaned in closely, causing her to withdraw into herself even more. 

_Why can’t I do this? I just want to… I want to…_

_I can’t._

“I-I n-need to clean up. N-now.” 

“Oh, oh right! Sorry, I’ll get out of your way in a sec!” 

He backed off, hurrying towards his desk. Pulling out a scrap piece of paper, he scribbled something on it and stuffed it into the space under his desk. He looked up at her, grinning sheepishly, before running off. 

She stood still for a full five minutes after he left before moving to his desk and pulling out his Message. It read: “thanks for the interogashun notes, angel-chan! i didn’t do too good on the test today, but I will beat those extra classes in no time, believe it!” 

Smiling softly, she tucked it away in her jacket before taking out a notepad and tearing out a piece of paper. She wrote a quick Message today, a couple pieces of encouragement and some meditation tricks to ignore external stimuli (she knew those were pretty much worthless but thought it might still be useful). Before slipping the Message into the shelf, however, she paused. 

_Am I really qualified to do this? To give him advice? I failed just as badly as he did today. I have no right to give him tips._

The way she saw it, she actually did worse. He simply struggled with handling the stimulus. She was scared of even experiencing it. She hadn’t even been trying. 

He had been so frustrated with her. Then, only moments later, he apologised and moved on with his life. How did he do it? How did he always move on so easily?

_I can’t handle these things. I don’t even try to handle these things._

She decided to tear off the tricks, leaving only the encouragement which she placed carefully into his shelf. 

_He doesn’t need me. I’m just fooling myself._

She ended up leaving, filled with fear over how her father would react if she failed the remedial classes and was barred from becoming a genin.  
______________________________________________________________________________

In the end, Naruto finished his remedial classes before Hinata did. 

It wasn’t that Hinata didn’t have the pain tolerance. She had plenty of experience with physical pain from the main family. But whenever Iruka moved to question her, she couldn’t help resist. She gave up. She kept giving up. 

It only took Naruto two weeks of extra time with their teacher to master resisting torture, something he announced gleefully in front of their whole class. It has now been three weeks since then and Hinata had made no progress. Though Iruka was patient, and kind, it was with disappointment that he declared each of her attempts as failures, and it simply crushed her. Seeing him that way with her was somehow worse than her treatment by the clan. 

It was with a heavy heart that she was told that if she kept failing these supplementary classes, she’d be kept back from taking the upcoming Genin Exams. 

More news to take to her father. More things about her to disappoint him. 

What would he do? Was failing to become a ninja enough to warrant being branded with the Caged Bird Seal?

Worry began eating her up. She became clumsier at everything. Her performance in class was dropping. Her clan training sessions were getting worse. She was being scolded worse and worse everyday. Her Messages were becoming shorter and shorter to the point where she hadn’t written any for the past four days. 

She couldn’t handle it. 

She was proud of Naruto, she really was. 

But there was a dark part of her that hated him. Hated him for the same reasons she admired him. 

How could he tolerate everything? How could he do it? 

“Hinata? Oh man, I’m really sorry..” 

It was after school again, with only her and Naruto left in the classroom (as per usual), and the boy had absentmindedly walked into her, knocking the potted plant she was carrying out of her grip. It crashed onto the ground, spilling soil everywhere. Worse, she was so wound up that she couldn’t react properly, and fell straight on the mess, catching herself on her hands barely in time to avoid hitting her head. 

Hinata stayed there on all fours, stock still as Naruto scrambled to clean it up. He was scooping up dirt and shards before looking down at her. 

“Hinata? Oi, Hinata, are you alright?” 

It had been her favourite flower in the classroom. A sunflower that she had been nurturing and caring for with so much love and attention. She had just been swapping its pot for a new,er prettier one. And now, the new pot had shattered, and her sunflower was squashed under her hand. 

She couldn’t help it. Stress from the remedial classes, fear over failing to graduate and now the demise of her flower were too much. A tear fell and splashed onto a rumpled petal. Followed by another. 

“What? Hey, hey, Hinata, why are you crying? It’s just a flower, ya know.” 

“I-I know,” she sniffed, but it came out more like an incomprehensible whimper.

Naruto stood up. Shuffling for foot to foot, he looked incredibly uncomfortable. He scratched his head, unsure of what to do, as Hinata, still on all fours, wept over her flower. 

“Sorry ‘bout your flower,” he mumbled, looking around awkwardly. “But really, it’s just a flower, no reason to get all upset, ya know?” 

“I-it’s n-not th-that. I-I… I might f-fail.” 

“Huh?” 

“I-I haven’t p-passed the t-torture p-practice,” she sobbed.

“EH? You mean, you’re still doing those extra classes? I thought you finished before me, ya know!” 

Shame burned in the pit of her stomach. She had lost to Naruto. Then even more shame burned even hotter for feeling that way. 

She really was no better than the rest of them. Naruto was right. 

She was just a faker. 

“Look, I get it,” Naruto said. “You’re from a clan. You’re probably been treated so well you’ve never had to experience anything like torture in your life.” 

Her fingers curled up into fists. Was she really so spoiled and pathetic? 

“But you just gotta do what I do. Suck it up. I don’t have a clan or parents or anyone to take care of me, so I can deal with these stuff. I learned how to suck it up. You have to start doing that too, ya know. Suck it up.”

An urge she rarely had before washed over her, the urge to shout at him, to yell and to scream at him to shut up and stop saying “suck it up”. What did he know? 

What did _she_ know? His life was far worse than hers. 

She cried harder, tears raining over her ruined sunflower, and she buried her face in her dirty hands, too worked up to even be embarrassed that she was crying in front of Naruto. 

“Come on, Hinata! You’re smart! You’re nice! You’re a total weirdo but you’re pretty good at taijutsu and stuff! Stop crying because you can’t handle some questions and a bit of tickling!”

That caught her by surprise.

_Smart? Nice? Good at taijutsu?_

He must be lying. Even in the Academy, under Iruka’s kind guidance, she rarely got complimented. From Naruto, it was shocking enough to momentarily ease her sobbing. Then she cried even harder. 

“Look, Hinata! When I suck at a skill, I don’t whine about it! I work, ya know! I make it happen for me! This torture stuff should be a piece of cake for you! You’re so patient and stuff!” 

_Patience has nothing to do with this._

“You just can’t give up, Hinata!” 

It must have been the stress. The fear. She was hysterical. 

She couldn’t help but laugh. Laugh, a strangled sound breaking out between her sobs and tears. 

“G-gee, I-I never thought of that,” she laughed out. 

She then gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth in surprise. Had she really just said that? 

It was completely unlike her. Despite having those kinds of thoughts — and more — circling around her in her mind all the day, she never voiced them, too afraid of offending someone, too polite, too kind to potentially hurt someone’s feelings. But as she looked fearfully up at Naruto, and saw him standing still, mouth gaping open, she couldn’t help but fear the worst. She had just offended Naruto, the hothead, someone who had been getting that treatment from everyone his entire life. 

She scrambled up and was about to bow in apology for her sarcastic comment when Naruto closed his mouth. He then smiled cheekily. And then he started laughing. 

Hinata had never been more surprised than at that moment, watching as Naruto, laughing harder than she had ever seen him, was rolling on the floor, clutching his stomach. She couldn’t help but feel humiliated. Not only had she cried in front of him and possibly offended him with her cheek, but now he was actually laughing at her. 

Wiping her eyes, she picked up her ruined sunflower sadly, solemnly, carrying it to her desk as though bearing a coffin in a funeral. She tried to keep the tears from running again, but with Naruto’s laughter in the background, it was hard to keep from sniffing. 

“Wait, no, Hinata!” he cried, trying to stifle his laughter. “I’m not laughing at you, ya know! It’s just funny!” 

_Funny how I broke down in front of you?_

“I just thought you were this weird wallflower type, but you’re not! I mean, you are, and you’re even weirder than before, but you got stuff in you, ya know!” 

She blinked in confusion. 

“I mean, I broke your plant! You’re failing class! Everyone else would yell at me, but you just sat there crying. You never yell or laugh at me, and while that’s really nice, you’re sometimes too nice, ya know? I feel like you’re just a statue sometimes. It’s cool to see that you can react like everyone else. Or at least sort of normally.” 

She blinked again. Was he so mistreated that sarcastic remarks and yelling was considered normal? Excluding how they treated Naruto, the villagers were still fairly polite to each other. 

“But you’re human! So that’s good,” he chuckled, rubbing the nape of his neck. “I mean, you should yell at me, you’re angry about your plant, right?” 

Looking down, she adamantly shook her head. She was Hyuuga Hinata, she didn’t _get_ angry. At least, not at others. Her father made it clear that no matter what anyone did to her, it was her own fault for allowing it to happen to herself. 

“Come on! I thought you were normal, ya know! Come on, it’s like not giving up. Sometimes ya gotta vent to get places!” 

She shook her head again, and he, scowling, got closer. 

“I don’t understand this… polite thing,” he said, scratching his head. “If you feel something, ya gotta show it, right? There’s nothing good in just hiding what we feel, ya know, you just explode.” 

“B-but… we’re ninja.” 

“Eh? So? Sandaime-jiichan told me that I shouldn’t ‘bottle’ things. I don’t really get expressions like that, but I guess that means if you’re angry, you should be angry!” 

Hinata couldn’t help but giggle slightly. She was sure that the Third Hokage was merely trying to get Naruto to better manage his emotions, but Naruto’s takeaway seemed good enough for him. 

“Come on, you’re angry, right? Even just a little bit?”

She hesitated, then, with a quivering voice, meekly said, “m-may...be.” 

“Then ya gotta do what I do when I get angry!” Grinning he tuned to look straight at the whiteboard, straight at where Iruka would normally stand, and, in his loudest voice, yelled, “FUCK YOU!” 

She was so startled she was knocked off her feet. The vulgarity and simplicity of it shook her straight to her core. 

Naruto turned around and walked over to her, grinning proudly, ignoring her absolutely shocked expression. 

“See? People are never nice to me, so I just yell that at them. Sometimes I yell that at my own body if I can’t get something right! It’s fun! Makes it easier.” 

He was leaning closer to her, smiling, but there was something wrong. 

_”Makes it easier.”_

Hinata wasn’t convinced.

His smile looked a little forced. And his eyes… 

She wasn’t an expert at reading a person, but she was still a Hyuuga. And with Naruto, it was just easier to tell. It was easier to see it. 

The bitterness. The sadness. 

It didn’t make it feel easier. Not at all. He was just trying to convince himself that it did. 

But maybe that was the point. 

“Come on! You’re angry at me, right? So you should yell at me!” 

She looked up at him in absolute surprise. He, on the other hand, was looking down with an expectant expression, his eyes set and determined. 

“B-but, I-I can’t…” 

“Of course you can! You never yell at me anyways, this way, you’ll get some relief, ya know? Iruka-sensei told me over ramen once that people are like balloons. I didn’t really get it, but apparently that means you’ll pop if you don’t show some emotion? It’s like what Sandaime-jiichan said. Now come on!”

“I-it’s…” _too vulgar? Not like me?_

“Come on ya weirdo, just say it!” 

“N-noo.” 

“Hinata! Tell me to fuck off!” 

“F—- off….” she forced out weekly. 

“Can’t hear you!” he said in a singsong manner.

“F-fu…. Ck….off,” she whispered, horrified at her own audacity.

Grinning proudly, he sauntered out of the classroom, only to return with a rag. In a daze, she helped him clean up the mess. Working mostly in silence, with Hinata sniffling occasionally, they threw away the shards and the dirt, but she still kept her squashed sunflower. As a reminder of this conversation. 

“You can ace the extra class, ya know!” Naruto called out to her as he ran out of the class. “Good luck!” 

Warmth. 

_He’s right._

_I do feel a little better._

He made her feel warm. 

_Even if it doesn’t help too much, maybe it’s the attitude behind it that makes him so strong. Not caring what others think, not caring about his own limits, pushing on against all odds._

_That fire in his eyes…_

So warm.  
______________________________________________________________________________

She passed the remedial classes two weeks later. 

Naruto seemed to have forgotten it all. She had gone back to being the shy girl everyone ignored, and started to avoid Naruto even more avidly than before, her embarrassment at the scene she caused too strong for her to go and thank him. 

The boy who only knew cruelty, who made the the one girl who never treated him like others insult him to make herself feel better. As small as it was, it was still a sacrifice for her sake.  
______________________________________________________________________________  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Present day**

_That’s right._

 _That attitude of pushing forward. Telling everyone around you, telling your limitations to move out of the way._

He didn’t know it, never suspected it, but Naruto taught her a lot. He taught her to start thinking of herself. He taught her to keep pushing forward. He taught her that she shouldn’t waste time trying to appease everyone. 

He taught her to try and be free. 

A Zetsu broke her left arm, pulling on it and dragging her down. Another pulled her hair. Another grabbed her throat, asphyxiating her. 

She was being overwhelmed. She was tired. She was out of chakra. 

_This is a war. This is a war to protect Naruto. To protect the one who gave me the strength to like myself. I can’t let my own limitations stop me.”_

Struggling against the sea of Zetsu, she gritted her teeth, ignoring the destruction happening around her. Focusing her Byakugan only on herself, and her immediate surroundings, she locked on to every Zetsu that was trying to crush her, and on the Edo Tensei swordsman who was getting dangerously close to her position.

_I won’t let my own body tell me what to do._

_If this is a war to protect Naruto, then I will push myself beyond what I thought I could do. It’s what he taught me, it’s what Neji-niisan taught me, it’s what I always wanted to do, but couldn't._

She summoned the last of her strength.

> ”The Sage of Six Paths spread his teachings across the world as ninshu, a discipline which explained chakra not as the combination of mental and physical energies, but as a connective power that could bring the world together in peace, that connected each and every person to one another. Humans are social creatures, always seeking companionship, and thriving best when together. Thus, chakra, in its truest, purest form, is the manifestation of humanity’s desire for bonds… and the will to protect those bonds."

A cloud of chakra burst out of her hand, forming into the vague shape of a lion. She smashed it against the Zetsu at her throat, and the lion head tore into him, draining and destroying his rudimentary chakra network. Gasping for air, she then swung her Lion Fist around, clobbering and hurting the Zetsu surrounding her into letting her go. She dropped onto her knees, desperate for breath, her entire body aching, but she had no time to rest as the Edo Tensei swordsman nearly rammed his chokutou through her head. Rolling aside, she pushed chakra through her broken arm, supplementing it with several quick Jyuuken jabs to set the bone into a more manageable condition. It hurt, a lot, but she fought through the pain, forcing her body beyond her limits and dogging several more of the Edo Tensei’s swings. She summoned the second Lion Fist, and began her counter attack.

She was ineffective, unable to catch her much faster opponent in her tired state.

The Edo Tensei kicked at her feet, too fast for her to react, and she dropped on her rear. He swung his blade down in an arc towards her head, charging it with Lightning Style chakra. She was done for. 

No, she wasn’t.

“Fuck you!” she yelled as, in a moment of desperation, she caught the blade with her now flickering Twin Lion Fists. The lion shapes grabbed the sword in their jaws, absorbing the electricity flowing through the metal, and snapped it into pieces before fading out of existence. 

She stopped that attack. But she was now left defenseless, completely drained. 

Grunting in surprise, the swordsman pulled out a tantou blade, and closed in for the kill. With the last droplets of her willpower, Hinata pulled out a small kunai to defend herself when, out of nowhere, Neji flew straight in with a jab that the reanimated ninja barely dodged. The two engaged in a deadly dance of thrusting palms, flashing blades and swift dodges, until finally, Neji speared his hand into the Edo Tensei with so much force that he pierced straight through the enemy’s body. 

“Sealing corps!” Neji called out as the body dropped. 

He then rushed towards Hinata’s fallen body and picked her up, running back towards the town while yelling for a medic. 

The battle was over. The Zetsu had been expelled, and the Edo Tensei were being sealed away. 

“You… did it,” she said weakly as Neji held her close to his chest. She could hear his erratic heart rate and his ragged breathing and frowned. Her cousin wasn’t that much better off. 

“No,” he gasped harshly, but it was with a warm smile that he looked down at her, his eyes shining with pride, “we did it.” 

His eyes were warm. Proud, affectionate. 

The world was fading around her slightly, but she fought to keep conscious as she surveyed the area to ensure the enemy had been completely driven out. Warmth was seeping through her entire body, but it was not from blood or from her injuries. 

It was the strength that Naruto had unknowingly given her. The strength to defend herself, and the strength to tell her own limits that they didn’t mean anything. The strength to feel the fire of determination burn within her own body.


	15. Trust and Acceptance (Fourth Shinobi War)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the war rages on, Naruto is on Turtle Island, contemplating trust and acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite things is how Naruto in canon behaves different around Hinata. He acts virtually in the same manner with everyone but her. He becomes more serious and vulnerable, even back in Part 1 when they supposedly "never talked to each other and Naruto barely knew existed". 
> 
> Enjoy~

The last time he had been at a beach, he was travelling to the Land of Waves, about to face off with Zabuza and Haku. Back then, he was an excitable little ball of mischief, thinking of nothing but becoming Hokage. Back then, he hardly took the time to appreciate the gentle crashing of the waves against the chore, the distant call of the birds flying above, or the beautiful blue skies above. 

Turtle Island wasn’t exactly the paradise he had been promised by the Great Toad Sage, but at the moment, as Naruto sat alone, contemplating, atop a stone spike towering above the water, he couldn’t help but notice just how perfectly tranquil the scene was. He had long since noticed just how much more beautiful the world looked when his thoughts were at their darkest, as though his own mind was mocking just how close yet distant that beauty was, that he wasn’t allowed to be a part of it. 

Then again, his thoughts always _did_ take a rather morbid turn whenever he spent too long thinking. So that’s why he had never really noticed the darkness inside of him. He never stopped to think. Didn’t want to think of it.

Motoi’s story had frankly chilled Naruto to the bone. The fact that he had once tried so willingly try and murder Killer Bee, his childhood best friend, cut him deeper than he would have expected. It had reminded him of his own struggles with trust, but it also gave him an interesting perspective. As a jinchuuriki, he was always shunned, hated. But no one had outright tried to kill him. He was never physically hurt or attacked, both due to citizens of Konoha’s fear of the Hokage, and their fear of him. 

_I can’t help but think of me and Sasuke now. Someone who lost everything and grew in hate, and the other, a jinchuuriki who cared for his former best friend._

_No, not former. Sasuke **is** my best friend._

How had Bee survived all that hatred, and risen to not only be a hero, but to take complete control over his Bijuu? He must have seen the same thing as Naruto when _he_ went to the Waterfall of Truth, so how did he deal with it? 

Naruto found himself wishing for his guardian angel, something he recently found himself doing more and more. Though he had no shortage of encouragement now, he missed the gentle, soothing feeling he got from the Notes, as well as the excitement of getting a new one. He used to feel so certain with the Notes by his side; even after he left on that training trip, and he completely lost contact with his angel, he still had the old Notes by his side. Now those were gone too, destroyed by Pain’s attack and Naruto had never felt so lost in his life. 

_I just wish there was a sign from somewhere. Why does everything have to be so damn hard?_

_Why can’t I just be happy with what I have? I never even met the angel. And now, I finally got what I always wanted: the village loves me. So why is it so hard for me to accept that?_

_Why do I still feel so alone?_  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Ten years ago**

A young boy sat on a single swing in front of the Academy. It was April, and the Third Hokage was in the middle of delivering his speech for the start of year ceremony. Kids were milling around, talking with each other, laughing and roughhousing, all while their parents watched fondly. Some of those parents, however, would take the time to turn around to blatantly scowl at him, as though he was some hideous splotch ruining a magnificent painting.

That’s how he felt most days. 

A girl with short, curiously inky blue hair was standing off to the side, alone too. While wondering where her parents were, the boy considered jumping off his swing and approaching her, but with one look, the girl squealed at the sight of him. She nearly fell over, and, with her front exposed to him, the boy could see that her eyes were weirdly… pale. Milky or something. 

Was she blind?

The boy stuck his tongue out at the girl, who turned red and turned around again, this time shifting around to get farther away from her. 

Somehow, that little girl edging away from him in fright hurt him more than the glaring and scowling from the parents. He wiped away at a sudden dampness that he felt below his eyes and focused on another little girl, this one with exotic pink hair, holding her father’s hand and laughing along to the Third’s jokes. When she turned her head side to side to look up at her parents, he caught little glimpses of her wonderfully cute bright smile. 

Her mother abruptly turned around to glare at him before moving behind the girl as though a barrier. 

He felt so lonely.  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Present**

_How can I trust them after they cast me out?_

Contemplating trust, Naruto tried to look deep into his own heart. There was Sasuke, who broke his trust, and the trust of the village. And yet he still acknowledged Naruto’s strength. But could Naruto really trust that Sasuke truly believes them as equals?

 _Damn it! This is as confusing as that love thing! I might as well have Hinata come in wearing a wedding kimono and say that she’s glad we’re friends. None of this makes sense!_

Nagato had told him to end the cycle of hatred, but how was he supposed to do that when he could barely understand anything that was going on?

A humongous crash sounded over the coast, startling Naruto out of his thoughts, and suddenly a massive creature rose out of the water, a struggling figure clutched in its tentacles. Water rained down upon him and waves smashed into the rocky shore, and, to his great shock, Naruto noticed that the person being crushed within the sea monster’s grasp was…

“Motoi?!” 

The creature's movements sent huge fish flying out of the water and impaling them upon the spiky rocks. It raised a fearsome tentacle and brought it crashing down upon the water, sending a tremendous wave that devastated a line of trees upon the island. It’s terrifying eyes seem to fix upon the panicking Kumo ninja trapped within its clutches, and the fear and pain in Motoi's voice — so loud and desperate that Naruto could hear it from where he was watching — suddenly gave Naruto a very disturbing reminder. 

Gaara. Another jinchuuriki, this one on the opposite side of Bee. Someone who used to trust no one, who lashed out and was turned into a monster by his village.

 _Oh crap! Has Bee-occhan snapped?_

Gaara had told him about Yashamaru, and he himself had been hurt by Sasuke’s defection. Naruto knew perfectly well how painful it was to learn of broken trust. Had Motoi confessed to Bee and was now being punished for it?

“Naruto! Formation C!” 

Yamato had appeared on a nearby spike preparing a jutsu, wet and wide eyed. At Naruto’s lack of a response, he turned to him, with incredible panic in his eyes. 

“Don’t just stand there! Motoi’s in trouble!”

Gritting his teeth, Naruto shut his eyes, trying to think as quickly as he could. The muscles in his clenched fists twitched with the urge to do something, but Naruto stayed still. Despite Yamato being a Wood Style user, he doubted the two of them would be capable of battling a perfect jinchuuriki. Moreover, he wasn’t even sure if they should. Nagato’s words were ringing in his ears, and now, Naruto understood that they weren’t simply about peace, love and hate. Trust was there too, and right now, continuing to use violence wasn’t going to solve the pain of broken trust. 

Naruto understood that too well. 

“Stop, Bee-occhan!” he called out as loudly as he could, using chakra to amplify his voice. “Motoi, he really trusts and cares about you!” 

_Please, don’t let the cycle of hatred continue, Bee-occhan!_

About to initiate his jutsu, Yamato turned to stare incredulously at Naruto. 

“Naruto, that’s not Killer Bee! That’s the squid!”

“Eh?”

_Wait, what? Then…._

A massive burst of powerful chakra rippled through the air and suddenly, a massive octopus shot out of the water, sending waves crashing everywhere. It collided with the squid, crushing the tentacle holding Motoi and making it release its hold on him. The octopus then pushed the squid down under the water, all while Yamato caught Motoi with his Wood Style and brought the shell shocked and panting shinobi to his stone spike. Naruto jumped down to join then, and helped get Motoi to stand up. They stared dumbfoundedly at the octopus still wrestling with the giant squid, and Naruto even clapped and cheers as the large, splashing waves moving away from the island indicated the squid’s retreat. There was a large explosion of smoke, and Bee landed on the rock, turning to grin at Motoi, who looked at him in sheer amazement and confusion. 

_So… Motoi didn’t say anything? The cycle of hatred isn’t going on here?_

“You… You knew all along, didn’t you?” Motoi said breathlessly, dripping wet and breathing raggedly. “You knew that I tried to kill you.”

Bee smirked at him. “Oh, did you now?” 

Naruto couldn’t help but grin as the two shared a fist bump. 

It was amazing. And seemed so impossible. Considering their history, Bee had every right to hate Motoi, just like how Naruto’s dark side had every right to hate the village. Yet Bee had accepted that, and moved past it. 

_The way the two trust each other now. Sort of reminds me of Gaara and Kankuro._

_Wait, trust? Gaara?_

_Ah, so that’s how it is._

And Naruto was struck by an epiphany as he mentally compared Bee with the old Gaara. Gaara used to be incredibly distrustful, hating all that existed. He trusted no one, not even himself. Bee, on the other hand, was so sure of himself, so confident. 

He thought back to Shikamaru, who had such great belief and trust in all of them when they first went to stop Orochimaru from taking Sasuke. 

He thought back to Iruka, who used to hate him, then moved past that hate and became more than just a teacher to Naruto. Who decided to trust Naruto against all odds.

He thought back to his angel, and how he trusted their every word without even questioning them. And he wondered why, why the hell he trusted the simple words of someone who as far as he knew was a complete stranger.

_Acceptance._

The village had accepted him against their past judgement. It was he who wasn’t accepting them.

_How can I trust that the villagers won’t just turn on me? Can we truly grow? Can we truly change?_

But there was proof. And not just Gaara or Iruka.  
______________________________________________________________________________

_”I used to always cry and give up…. I took so many wrong turns… You changed me! And that’s why I am not afraid to die protecting you! Because….”_

Because….  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Five years ago**

_I’m not lonely, I have the Notes._

He sat on his swing, clutching the day’s Note in his hand, gripping too tightly as he watched children milling around with their parents, talking happily. It was the Academy’s annual Will of Fire Fair, one of the only things the Fourth managed to implement during his short tenure as Hokage, and was meant to be a chance for parents to see firsthand how their children were developing and improving as shinobi. Usually, Naruto would have been busy pulling a prank or else hiding away in a practice room, but this year was his last fair. And because of that, he had decided to finally go and see what the fair was all about. 

He ignored the dirty glares and ill-concealed muttering going around him, overlooked the way mothers and fathers steered their children in an arc around him to maintain some distance from him. Disregarding the pointing and whispering, he barely took notice of the way parents deliberately moved their bodies between him and their children. 

He wasn’t interested in that today. 

He instead watched Sakura complaining about how messy the organisation for this year’s fair was with her parents, Ino laughing with her father while casually twirling a kunai. He kept glancing over at the way Chouji and Shikamaru’s fathers were deep in conversation while their sons talked by their sides; Kiba’s mother was embarrassing him in front of another mother while Shino was over in the corner, his father’s hand resting on his shoulder. 

They all looked so happy, even Kiba. 

Naruto pushed off a little, putting his lonely swing into motion as he tried to read through the Note. 

_”When adult ninja use smoke bombs, they usually use the Body Flicker Technique at the same time, since a skilled ninja can usually guess where someone using the Body Flicker is going. This is important because…_

But he couldn’t keep his mind on it. 

Melancholy seeped through his very being at the sight of proud parents giving their kids a pat on their back, or his classmates dragging their moms and dads around to show them their different skills. Gazing across the scene, his eyes momentarily locked with Iruka, who was talking with his classmate Aiko’s dad, but his teacher very quickly broke eye contact, turning to shift awkwardly in place before excusing himself inside instead. 

Movement caught his eye, and turned to see Sasuke, walking out of the building and sneaking around to walk out of the gates. Strange, considering that they weren’t allowed out of school during the fair. Even stranger when considering that Naruto thought that Sasuke looked more morose than usual. 

_Should I approach him?_

He got up, but froze when Sasuke suddenly turned his head to look directly at him. Naruto didn’t recognise the look on the Uchiha’s face, it was an expression unlike anything he had ever seen Sasuke exhibit.

By the time he decided to at least call out something, Sasuke was gone. 

He dropped back down on the swing heavily and started swinging absentmindedly. Biting back his frustration, he stared blankly at the Note for a couple minutes before stuffing it back into his pocket, unable to get a single word of it into his brain. In his bitterness, he began swinging even harder than before, deliberately kicking up a dust cloud and bringing even more angry scowls his way. He in turn grinned hollowly at those parents, and kicked up dust clouds in their direction.

“I...I d-don’t think p-people appreciate that, N-Naruto-kun.” 

Naruto turned his head in surprise. Hinata was standing there behind him, blushing and pushing her fingers together, hiding in the shadows of the trees and averting her eyes, her head bent down and her posture suggesting that she wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball. Scratching his head a bit, Naruto realised that, since his swing was near the edge, Hinata must have been there, standing quietly for at least twenty minutes. How had he completely missed her? And why hadn’t she said anything?

“Oh, hey, Hinata, didn’t see ya there, ya know.” 

She squeaked, nodded in reply, and sunk deeper into the shadows. 

“So, you here with your parents?” Though he didn’t feel like it, he tried to make conversation. Hinata was always polite to him, after all. 

Hesitating for a moment, she slowly shook her head. Her voice trembling, she replied, “M-my f-father is b-busy now. And he d-doesn’t ca…. He doesn’t have t-time for f-fairs.”

“Then what about your ma?” 

This time she didn’t even answer, just shook her head adamantly. 

“Oh. That sucks, I guess.” 

They stayed there in silence for another few moments, Naruto staring at the ground as the Academy fair kept going on in front of him. Hinata, for her part, didn’t try to initiate conversation. She didn’t come closer to him or force her presence on him, but she was there, within reach. Her parents were somehow unavailable, Naruto wasn’t sure why. But he did guess that she, at that moment, was probably feeling as bad as him. 

At least, that’s what he got from those ‘reading body language’ Notes. 

And though he previously didn’t even notice her being there, now that he was aware of her position, he felt significantly better. 

Her sharing in his loneliness made being alone a lot more… lighter. 

He smiled at her, and her eyes widened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, kinda shorter one than usual, but this chapter's sort of more filler (but not an extra because there's a bit of development). Currently mainly working on Chapter 16, which will be a big one. I just don't like not updating regularly because I have a terrible track record of just forgetting to do stuff if I don't do them constantly. Hope this one was okay though. As I said before, fanfiction writing is, aside from writing practice, mainly for me to vent at the end of days, and recently, I've had a lot on my plate. Still though, I'm having fun. 
> 
> It's my sister's birthday tomorrow, by the way. #BirthdaySpecialChapter?


	16. Extra IV: Angel's Problem (Academy Days)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in the Academy days, our little Angel's having a bit of a problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right! I know I called the last chapter filler, but this one is pure filler. This is mostly here because a) I wanted to give a status update to those who read this fic regularly as the chapters come out, and b) I actually think the premise of this chapter is hilarious, in a more subtle, more relatable manner. 
> 
> So, the status update. If you've been reading my other story, Ramen with a Smile (if not, well, check it out if you want to) then you would have seen that in the last update, I mentioned that I've become significantly more busy, and that the updates will be slowing down. It's not just that I have less time; I'm more exhausted, so even when I do have time to write, I just can't do it. It's not really a writer's block, because I'm still bursting with ideas. I just go on my laptop in the evenings, try to bust out a few sentences and realise that I physically can't get myself to do it. That being said, chapters 17 and 18 are coming along nicely, and they are fairly meaty chapters that I've been working on for a while. Sorry that it's taking so long, but both chapters should be up soon. And by soon I mean a couple weeks. Those will be big, important chapters, so try not go, "this fic has more fillers than Shippuden! And they're worse!" and quit. I mean, you can if you want to, I literally can't stop you. But please bear with me. But if you do quit, then just know that the ghost of Neji will forever haunt you. 
> 
> As for this chapter, well, it's fairly small, but it's something near and dear to my heart. It's a little more political, and it expresses a very big issue that I come across quite often that I think needs to be addressed.

She was told many times by her tutors that it was a disgusting habit. That if she were to hope to become a proper kunoichi, as beautiful and elegant and proper as she was deadly and powerful, then she was _stop_ that habit immediately. 

As though she didn’t have more serious problems holding her back from that idealised vision of Hyuuga heiress. She had enough to fix about herself, she reasoned, in her own meek way, that she should be allowed to at least chew on her pen. If not at the Academy then at least in the privacy of her own room. 

Well, as private as it was possible in a household filled with people who could see through anything.

It was rare for Konoha to experience such a violent storm, yet there she was, on the weekends, sitting in her room in the Hyuuga compound, the rage of the storm crashing down from the heavens above a backdrop to her current misery. The intermittent claps of thunder added to the chaotic, angry energy of the rain, as though the skies were expressing their fury at how its assault was failing to bring down the mighty trees or the study building of the village. 

In many ways, the storm reminded her of Naruto. Dedicated, always frustrated and chaotic, he was a force of nature, unpredictable like the thunder and overwhelming to the senses like the torrential downpour. Contrasting his bright personality and the vibrant warmth in his eyes, his hair was that unending storm within. She could see it, even without the help of the Byakugan, a will so strong that no matter how much the outer world resisted, he simply kept coming back. 

That’s why, despite her own frustrated state of mind, the sound of the rain in the background gave her a slight sense of calm, keeping her emotions at bay. 

It was because of that effect, unfortunately, that Hinata was sitting there, in her room on a Sunday afternoon, slouched at her desk and chewing furiously on the cap of her pen while staring down at a series of blank pieces of paper with what for her could almost be a look of frustration and anger. 

She had been sitting there for the past three hours, staring at the little squares as though hoping that simply looking hard enough would cause words to materialise on them. Alas, two hours had come and gone, and the only thing to have materialised in that time was the very strong urge to eat something. 

One did not ‘snack’ in the Hyuuga clan. However, many of the main family, including her father, were away on clan business, and she had almost complete free rein over the kitchen. 

She briefly considered getting up, making something quick to eat, and coming back, but she quickly shook her head at the idea. Then she groaned lightly, that small movement having been the only one she had made since sitting down three hours ago. 

If she were anyone else, she would have growled at the paper, and maybe eaten some out of frustration, but she was Hyuuga flipping Hinata, and if she didn’t couldn’t at least have patience, then all was lost for her. 

_Naruto wouldn’t quit! He’s even there, in the background, cheering me on! I have to stay focused!_

So convinced of the fact that Naruto would grind until getting out what he wanted to get out before succumbing to his hunger, and that the storm was the physical manifestation of Naruto’s will, she continued sitting there, her joints locking up and her back getting stiffer by the minutes. 

It was truly the greatest tragedy in history. 

Hinata was going through writer’s block. 

_There’s nothing to comment on. Nothing._

They were nearing the genin graduation exam, and Hinata had spent the past few months writing out all she knew on the Messages for Naruto. Judging by his replies, he was taking them into consideration. Still, it was not enough. Especially his bunshin no jutsu. So, having exhausted the tips and the facts and the knowledge she had to offer, she spent the last two weeks simply writing encouragement, thinking that it should be enough. 

Yet she was getting tired of doing that. Not only was she getting sick of trying to think up new variations of “Good luck!” and “Do your best!” everyday, but she was also incredibly concerned by Naruto’s deadlock in terms of the bunshin. 

So she had decided that today, on this Sunday when she’d be more or less alone at the compound and free to think outside of the Academy, would be effective for coming up with a new series of Messages. A brand new lineup of state of the art encouragement and advice that would be so effective that Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei would be scrambling over each other to make him a chunin. 

Unfortunately, that plan ended up going on her ever growing list of failures, right up there next to “couldn’t even block a single hit from Neji-niisan during clan training” and “mistook salt for sugar that one time.” 

She contemplated getting up to stretch her legs and start thinking properly, but refused to move. She wouldn’t give up, she would persevere like the storm, like Naruto, and she’d work through her block. That was the Naruto way, and she’d do her best to draw from it. 

_I just have to find somewhere to start, right? Then the ideas should start flowing._

Realising that she had started positively gnawing on her pen, she took it out and stared at the deformed cap, frowning slightly at the bite marks. 

_It looks almost like a gnarled tree._

She turned it around. 

_Now it looks like the Hokage Monument._

_Wow, and like this it looks like a… no! I have to concentrate! This is for Naruto-kun’s sake!_

She was utterly determined not to move away from the desk until she had produced at least one Message of quality for Naruto to read. One that would encourage him and help him improve. 

And so, with the reminder of Naruto’s hard work roaring in the background, she continued sitting there, staring at the paper and trying to produce at least a single sentence that wasn’t something generic. 

It wasn’t until another three hours elapsed that she woke up with a start — having dozed off on her desk — realised that she had bitten clean through her pen and that her pieces of paper were still blank. 

_Maybe this is something that gets easier with age. I’m sure coming up with original messages will barely be a problem as you grow older,_ she thought sadly as she simply wrote, “Good luck with your training!” on one piece of paper. 

One thing was for sure though. Regularly coming up with something new was exhausting. 

______________________________________________________________________________

**Blank Period**

“Wow, this is great Hinata! So heartfelt!”

She smiled at her husband’s compliments, but it was very forced. She averted her eyes as she nodded along to Naruto’s continued praise, trying her best not to look at his bright smile as he waved around the birthday card she had spent the last five hours writing. 

The writing itself was only six sentences long. 

“No seriously, every birthday wish is always the same, no originality! It’s always the same thing but with a different name tacked on! Even I don’t know how to make them more personal, ya know. At least, not without making the birthday wishes seriously weird. You’re so good at making these wishes so personal, and it comes so easy to you too! Your wishes are always so unique, ya know.” 

She turned her head away, pretending to examine their bowl of fruits. Naruto could always read her thoughts and emotions from her eyes, and she didn’t want him to see the absolute pain burning in her eyes at the moment. 

“Actually, Hinata, it’s Bee-occhan’s birthday coming up soon, and he’s invited us. Maybe you could make him a unique birthday wish as well!

“Hinata? Honey?

“Why is your Byakugan activated?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday wishes are the worst. Everyone says the same thing to everyone (this is mostly with acquaintances and family).
> 
> Most people on the fanfiction scene seem to have a T-T-Tumblrererer. So, being the sheep that I am, I made a ~~Facebook page~~ page as well: [The Mysterious Crimson Lotus](https://mysterious-crimson-lotus.tumblr.com/). Check it out if you want, I post updates and fakes maps there (you heard that right, fake maps, drawn by yours truly, the Crimson Lotus Mystery). Or not, it's up to you! Imagine that, freedom of choice!


	17. Taking Flight (Fourth Shinobi War)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of battle, as the darkness looms, a bird takes flight, and soars through over a path of memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, hasn't it? Being busy is great in a way, but it also sucks butt. 
> 
> I struggled a bit in the writing of this chapter, but hopefully what I originally had planned for it will come across well. It's definitely the longest one yet. 
> 
> Enjoy~

He knew there was a war going on. He knew that there would be massive grief left behind. 

But he felt too light, too free to care. 

Death wasn’t at all what he was expecting. Well, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this. He had seen so much of it, really seen exactly how it happens, had even caused some of it with his own hands, and had always taken it to be a terrible thing. He had seen the anguish and the torment on their faces and expected pain. He had seen the way chakra would flicker and flare before finally dying out, like a feeble flame in the wind. He had seen that flame extinguished by the hands of murder before and considered it a horrible pain. 

He would have never thought it would feel so… liberating. 

It was as though the pain wasn’t there, like his senses had left him, making him numb to the cold of reality, and filling him with the warmth of death. He felt light as light as a feather, about to be blown away by the wind, guided by nothing but nature. 

This was the destiny he had chosen. Not fighting as a slave of the village, as a slave to his own hatred; he was not dying to protect one he despised, and one he considered beneath him. 

He was doing it to save a friend. Dying to save a sister. 

And that’s why he could leave this world feeling so light. He could go with a smile on his face, because he had looked Lady Fate in the eyes, and told her no. 

And even if destiny couldn’t be changed, even if, on the surface, it seemed like Lady Fate’s prophecy had come to being anyways, what mattered to him was the meaning. What mattered was not the path he had to walk, but the way he walked it, and why. 

A long and twisting path of hate. A road of sorrow. A track of understanding. 

A trail of love.

**Seven years ago**

“Again!”

“Ah!” 

His smirk became wider as he knocked her off her feet. Dropping his stance, stood and watched her shake on the ground with amusement painted on his face. 

“Get back up, Hinata-sama,” a quiet but rather frustrated voice called out from the sidelines. She had collapsed and refused to get back up for the eighth time today now, and the instructors were clearly tired of her behaviour. 

The little girl shook harder, and it took the voice to call out two more times, each increasing in volume and temper, until slowly, she struggled back to her feet, with her back to him. Watching her sway and whimper in pain, he found himself tapping his foot impatiently. 

Very slowly, Hinata turned around, rubbing at her eyes, as though wiping her tears away could hide her pitiful state. The quavering of her lips, the tracks upon her cheeks, the swollen, red nature of her eyes, the eyes that were the pride and joy of the clan, of Konoha — they were all dead giveaways. 

A Hyuuga was always to be stoic, always strong, and seeing outright fear reflecting off of her Byakugan was a disgrace. 

“Again!” 

Hinata stumbled forward, barely managing to avoid tripping, and lunged at him, palm stretching out to strike at him. He easily side stepped her, casually, putting out a leg to trip her. Then, as she lost balance, he hit her on the back, sharply striking her with the heel of his palm. 

She crumpled back down again. 

He sneered down at her. 

“Your defense is pitiful, Hinata-sama,” he said quietly, but the arrogance was heavy in his voice. “You might as well stand still and offer your opponents a clear target.” 

Truthfully, she hadn’t been that pathetic at the beginning of the training session. Yet, as the sparring went on without end, as the Hyuuga instructors made Hinata go round after round of non stop fighting with her genius cousin who was over a year older than her, as she hesitated to use the full force of her ability and paid for it by getting ruthlessly struck down to the floor again and again and again, her will, her strength, and her spirit seemed to break. 

“Hinata-sama, get back up,” the instructure called out again. 

Hinata did not respond. She wasn’t even shaking this time. 

A quick activation of the Byakugan confirmed that she was unconscious. 

A disappointed shake of the head, a wave to the spectators at the dojo, and the match was finally over. After a bow from the victor, the onlookers filed out, leaving only him, and the fallen body of his cousin, in the dojo.

The arrogant facade immediately vanished. For one who lived among the Hyuuga, the shinobi that could see through all, maintaining such a mask was nearly impossible. But he kept it on, carrying on with the look of smugness for which the Hyuuga genius was now famous for. 

Except, staring down at the form of the one he was destined to protect, he didn’t feel smug at all. It wasn’t with a sense of superiority that he looked down at her. 

It was anger. A sense of conflict rooted deep in his heart. 

Why was it like this? Why was someone so weak being continuously pushed to the edge like this? Why was it that _he_ , the Hyuuga prodigy, had only a lifetime of enslavement to look forward to, while Hinata, the source of the clan’s greatest shame, was still unbranded? 

He shook his head, trying to dispel those traitorous thoughts. It would do no good for him to complain like that; their fates were already sealed. Besides, he didn’t want to hate her. He was a genius, afterall. Despite his age, he was mature enough to understand. She was incredibly kind, even despite how cruelly he treated her. She treated all with compassion, from the guards at the gates to the bees in the gardens. He knew that she was doing all in her power to rise above, to grow. 

And yet… 

No matter what her virtues were, to him, she’d always be the reason why he grew up without a father.

“Hinata-sama!” 

He looked up at the sound, and saw the resident clan nurse rush in, followed by a slightly pale looking Ko, Hinata’s babysitter. 

He watched as the nurse worked on healing the exhausted former heiress, all while Ko glared at him from the side. 

“Well?” Ko said, sounding calm to any non-Hyuuga. Yet to his clanmates, Ko was sounding particularly vicious at the moment. “Have more damage to do? More princesses to break?” 

He scoffed. 

“The Hyuuga has no place for a princess,” he answered simply before walking out of the dojo himself. 

As much as he didn’t want to lose his cool, holding back was difficult during sparring. The instructor wanted to use him as an example for Hinata, to push her to her limits, yet they would always stop him from using too much force. No matter how much of a disappointment she was, she was still a daughter of the main branch. 

And he… and he and his family… 

_Dispensable,_ he thought irritably while watching several branch family members being given orders by a main family Hyuuga off on the other side of the compound. 

For some reason, that completely ordinary sight made him sick today. 

Or maybe, it was because today was _that day._

_This day_ had been ignored, yet again, for another year. As though nothing ever happened.

He stalked out of the massive Hyuuga compound and went straight into the main village. He always felt like screaming out after these… sparring sessions. So, whenever it got too much, he took to walking around the village. 

Still in his simple training clothes, he walked with the dignity of a Hyuuga, hands held solidly at his side, his head held high even though anyone else would have walked glaring at the ground. It was growing late, the sun setting over the horizon, and the late December air was growing chilly with the coming of night, but he didn’t care. With his eyes, with the signature cloth around his forehead, no one old enough to understand what the Hyuuga truly were would dare touch him, and the midwinter cold would be good for cooling the embers of hatred that today’s sparring session seemed to have ignited. He walked through the simple streets alone, lost in thought, passing through crowds of screaming, laughing children as they raced home for the night, and the citizens finally resting after a long day of work, ignorant of the disease plaguing their own village on the inside, within their strongest protectors. Snowflakes fell slowly from the sky, lightly peppering the village with scenic white, throwing a blanket over the darkness lurking within its heart. Usually, he was calm enough to pass by without a second thought. Today, he felt the strong need to Jyuuken strike out at every face he saw that smiled without a care in the world and sang along to popular Land of Fire music as they went about their business. Wanted to rip off his headband and show them what Konoha’s mightiest clan was doing to its own members. 

_Would they even care?_ he thought bitterly as he stopped the hand that was unconsciously reaching for the cloth wrapped around his forehead. 

It was common for ninja Hyuuga to wear their hitai-ates all day long, and for the non-shinobi of their clan to go around with cloths wrapped around their heads in order to hide their curse mark. The Caged Bird Seal was a mark of shame to be shown only to the main family when submitting to their will. Revealing it to the public in a sudden outcry for help would do nothing but humiliate him, and possibly lead to a punishment that he did not want to think about. 

It wasn’t like the Caged Bird Seal was a mystery or anything, to be fair. But for the services of the Byakugan, the past four generations of Hokage had completely ignored it, and, as a result, so had the village. 

He hated the Byakugan.

He hated his eyes with a passion. It was the Byakugan, after all, that seemed to be at the root of the problem, and there were times when he wanted nothing more than to erase the powerful dojutsu from existence, so that there would be no more Caged Bird Seal, which would lessen the divide between the two sectors of the Hyuuga. 

_No, the power of the Byakugan has nothing to do with this. The main family is simply made up of fools and power hungry cowards._

The sound of breaking glass, of shouting and a distance laughing brought him out of his reverie. Looking out to where the sound had come from, he noticed a little boy, roughly the same age and size as Hinata, with wild yellow hair and bright blue eyes, leaping across the street, covered in flour, while several grown men, all of whom were covered in what could only be described as a white paste. 

_The prankster that I keep hearing about._

He wondered how this “Naruto” person had been able to get away with so much. Why the Hokage didn’t do anything about his behaviour, or why he wasn’t in the orphanage like he was supposed to. 

“Out of the way!” Naruto screeched as he ran straight towards the crowd. And instead of tightening up to catch the miscreant, the people in it seemed to run away. As soon as they saw or heard him, they dispersed, many looking panicked and others, with scowls on their faces. 

He had been told to stay away from Naruto, of course, that Naruto was a troublemaker and a generally bad influence, but he felt odd seeing just how quickly the crowd had complied and made room for Naruto. 

_And why did they look so scared? Surely they aren’t under the impression that that child is capable of pranking them while running away?_

Naruto barreled straight through the massive gap left behind by the people, making more and more space between himself and the livid shop owner that he had undoubtedly pranked, when he came face to face with him. 

“Out of the way!” Naruto repeated, trying to swerve around him. 

He did not comply. 

Instead, he stuck out a foot, tripping Naruto and sending him straight onto the snow flaked ground. 

“Come on, man! What’cha do that for?” the notorious prankster cried , struggling to get back up to all fours and rubbing his nose. 

“Justice,” he replied simply, briefly looking back at him with disdain before walking away. 

“You brat! There you are!” came the yells of the store owners behind him as they ran up to Naruto and hoisted him up by his collar. 

“You little… We won’t let you go ‘till you pay for what you did!” 

_Pay for what you did… If only._

Ignoring the protests of Naruto behind him, he walked with his eyes closed through the crowd that gathered around, the members of which were all glaring at Naruto with disgust. 

“I saw what you did there,” a woman’s voice called out to him. “You did a good thing there, putting him in his place.” 

He ignored her and kept moving. 

_Put him in his place. It doesn’t matter if I put him in his place or not. No matter what he does, he won’t be able to escape his place._

_Destiny will catch up to him anyways._

Continuing down a side street, he tried to calm his bitter, philosophical mood. Navigating the village on his other senses alone, he kept his eyes closed, not daring to open them and risk seeing the sun’s position growing lower. Risk seeing _this_ day amounts to nothing once again. 

The day grew darker, and the village nightlife started to come into focus. Bars and simple casinos revved up, and the laughter of civilians and shinobi alike began growing louder around him as more and more weary souls began winding down with a drink and a song. And, among the mature tones and older voices, came the loud protests of a girl. 

A girl that he knew. 

“Come on! It’s just gambling!” 

Spinning around on his heels, he opened his eyes to see his classmate from the Academy, Tenten, protesting at a rather burly man in front of what looked suspiciously like a casino. He’d recognise her shrill yells from everywhere; he enjoyed partnering with her during classes simply because her above-average ability with projectiles made good practice for him and his short range taijutsu. 

“Come on, let me in!” Tenten yelled again. 

“Fine, I’ll you in,” the man said, grinning unpleasantly. “Just turn 20 first.” 

“I don’t have time to turn 20!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have time to lecture you, so I’ll make this quick: scram. I don’t need the Konoha Police going down on me just because you’re too dumb to understand..” 

“But—”

“Understood, sir,” the wandering Hyuuga intervened, walking quickly over to Tenten and grabbing her by the shoulder, eliciting a small gasp of surprise from her. He nodded at the bouncer. “Good day.” 

The man, his eyes widening in surprise as he took in the boy’s eyes, nodded slowly, and turned away to walk back into the casino. 

“You!” Tenten cried, ripping the Hyuuga’s hand off of her shoulder and spinning around to glare at her. “What was that for?” 

“Stop trying to copy Tsunade-sama,” he explained simply, before walking away.

Tenten followed him. 

“You don’t understand! Tsunade-sama is the granddaughter of the Shodaime Hokage _and_ was the apprentice of Sandaime-sama! I'm so behind that it isn’t funny! You’re lucky, you’re already a genius and a Hyuuga!” 

From the corner of his eye, he glared at her. 

Since when was being a Hyuuga lucky?

“None of my family are ninja, and we’re graduating in a few months, and who knows what kind of weirdo I’ll get for a jounin-sensei!” she protested. “Who knows, it might be that weirdo who sometimes drops by to talk with Lee! You know, the one in the green leotard?”

“So you see underage drinking and gambling as catching up to Tsunade-sama? I see, no wonder no one calls you a genius,” he said derisively. 

“Well, I mean, not exactly. But if I can copy her habits, they maybe I can better understand—”

“No, you won’t. No matter how hard you try to copy her, you will never be like her. You cannot become what you already are not. You must stop this foolish behaviour of yours at once and accept the inescapable truth. That your destiny is not to be Tsunade-sama, but to be whatever the Universe has already decided that you will be.” 

Tenten blinked at him. 

“So,” she began slowly, and to him, it was painfully obvious how slowly she was comprehending what he said, “so you’re saying that I should stop being something that I’m not?” 

“That is correct. You are you, and you have a predetermined destiny from which you cannot stray. ” 

“So, are you saying that I should stop trying to copy her and be the best me I can be?” 

“Ye— what?” 

She beamed at him. 

“Lee said the same thing to me the other day during class! I didn’t really take him seriously, but it stuck with me. And now that a genius like you is saying it, then it should be something that I should definitely do!” 

He resisted the urge to gape at her. He wanted to clarify what he meant, but she was already nodding to herself and looking up at the darkening sky as the fall of snowflakes seemed to grow slightly heavier. 

“Everyone keeps telling me that I have no hope to be like Tsunade-sama, but not many put it that way. You’re right, I can be an amazing kunoichi without being exactly like her! I can follow my own path!” 

“That’s not exactly…” He sighed, and, paying her no heed, walked away, brisker than ever, his agitated breathing creating clouds of vapour as he left, ignoring her further until she gave up and went elsewhere. 

_There is no point teaching some fools. I was merely trying to warn her, but if she thinks that her destiny is to become as strong a kunoichi as Tsunade-sama with what she is at the moment, then who am I to correct her, when Lady Fate can do it so much more poetically?_

Finally, he reached Hokage Rock, and began to climb the wooden stairs to the top of the cliff. Higher and higher he went as the sun set lower and lower, and the temperature began growing colder, and he began climbing slower. His fingers began growing more numb, and his face started to hurt. 

It would have been so easy for him to regulate his chakra through his body to keep himself warm. 

He didn’t want to. 

The wind began to pick up, and climbing the stairs against the Rock, he felt the wind crash from the side, penetrating his skin and biting into his bones. 

He kept climbing. 

Getting to the top, he walked out to the edge of the cliff and stared down at the village from above. With this vantage point, turning on the Byakugan would give him an incredible view of everyone in the village, but he chose not to. 

Instead, he sat down at the edge of the cliff, his legs dangling, and looked up into the stars that were growing increasingly brighter against the darkness. 

“Happy birthday, Hinata-sama,” he scoffed, the name of his cousin coming off his tongue more viciously than usual. 

That was not why this day was special. 

He was never told the exact date of his father’s death. Having been in recovery due to his new curse mark, it hadn’t been until a week later that he learned that his father was gone.

Gone for good. 

So he considered his father’s death day as Hinata’s birthday, the anniversary of the Hyuuga Affair, instead. The entire clan seemed to want to forget that incredible embarrassment in their noble history, and acted as though nothing happened on _this_ day seven years ago. They even started ignoring Hinata’s birthday. The joyous occasion that was the birthday of the heiress, the future of the clan, became marred with the Hyuuga Affair, then sullied by her continued failures. No one even acknowledged it. 

So he sat there, far from the compound, far from anyone else, sitting at the edge of the top of Hokage Rock, like he did every year, marking Hinata’s birthday, marking the anniversary of his father’s death. 

Alone. 

Again.

**Four years ago**

“Again!”

“Ah!”

He grunted slightly, blocking the surprisingly strong strike Hinata sent his way. She stepped to the side, using her superior flexibility to maneuver around, throwing in hits where possible. He deflected them all, knocking away all of her hits and standing his ground as she tried to dance around him, looking for an opening. 

There was one thing that he discovered since he started training with her a couple of months back: Hinata wasn’t bad, wasn’t bad at all. He had spent years sparring with her under the careful eyes of the Hyuuga Jyuuken instructors, had beat her down to the ground quite possibly thousands of times. So it had come as a rather big shock during the preliminaries of the Chunin Exams when she faced him, and faced him with more ferocity than he had ever seen from her. She still didn’t hold a candle to him, of course, none of the Konoha genin did, not even Shikamaru, who was a chunin. Even Naruto won simply because he had been toying with the prankster the whole fight, preserving his strength for contenders like Sasuke or Gaara. 

Hinata was no genius, nor did she have a shred of talent in her in terms of combat. But now that she had some drive, some faith in her, a candle within her lit by the walking, screaming inferno that was Uzumaki Naruto, she showed a determination and skill that he had never expected of her. 

Adjusting was hard. He had spent so much of his life hating her that it took much time and patience to even deal with her. But he kept at it. When she approached him to train after Naruto’s departure, he reluctantly agreed. He tried to hold his tongue every time she fell short. Tried to keep the condescending tone from his voice with every criticism. 

He kept his eye out for some way, any large way that he could make it up to her for the preliminaries.

He tried. Because if Hinata was truly working so hard to change, to become stronger, then the least he could do to apologise was to change himself. Become… nicer. 

Hinata thrust her right palm straight at his chest, which he knocked to the left in order to obstruct her left arm, only for her to whirl around and send her elbow directly at his head. 

“That’s not a standard Jyuuken move,” he commented as he easily dodged the attack, waiting for her momentum to expose her back for him to hit her away, only for her to bend down at the waist and twist, trying to hit him with the heel of her foot. 

“Kurenai-sensei,” she panted as he simply dodged, intercepting another one of her strikes and pushing her away. “We’ve been practicing… ha…. being unpredictable in battle.”

“Be careful that Hiashi-sama doesn’t see you butcher Jyuuken like that,” he commented drily as he finally went in for the kill, catching her left hand and numbing it with a pulse of chakra while slipping past her guard and going to strike her right in the head. In a real fight, that move would have resulted in a spike of chakra going straight through the opponent's head, frying their brain and killing them on the spot. But today, he had specifically asked that they train without the Byakugan. So instead, he stopped his palm just a centimeter before making contact, and flicked her instead. 

“Duly noted,” she whispered, while sadly rubbing at her forehead. 

He noticed her disappointed look and sighed. 

“Hinata-sama, do not be disappointed. While it is true that your guard needs more work, you have managed to engage me for much longer than before. You are progressing.” 

She nodded, but looked unconvinced. 

“Could we… go again?” 

He took in her disheveled appearance, took note of how hard she was breathing, and calculated just how dehydrated she must have been from the sweat pouring down her face. 

He had to keep her out of the house, and keep her from accidentally activating her Byakugan. Exhausting her in battle wouldn’t do.

“Let’s take a break now. It will do us no good to overdo it.” 

“I can keep going, I really can!” she protested, catching him off guard. Staring at her, he took note of the way her eyes seemed to gleam a little bit brighter than they always were. 

Aside from her true ability, her surprising competence in combat when not being constantly put down by her elders, another thing that shocked him was her determination. It was certainly something he had never seen before the Chunin Exams, but now that they started training together, he was quite unsettled by just how resilient she actually was. 

_Is this what she is liked without the eye of the Hyuuga over her?_

It was quite scary, in a way. With her newfound spirit and work ethic, he wasn’t sure if he could handle a second Rock Lee. 

“No, there will be nothing gained from pushing ourselves too hard. It will be detrimental to our health, as I’m sure you already pointed out in those little Messages of yours. Take heed of your own advice,” he scolded.

A brilliantly red blush erupted on her face. 

“S-stop bringing up th-the Messages, please,” she pleaded. He had found out after accidentally observing her passing them to Jiraiya-sama before Naruto’s departure, and had forced the entire story from her when he confronted her. 

Teasing wasn’t his way. But when they started training, and he decided to try repairing his relationship with her, he had gone to his sensei for advice. 

_”I’m so proud of you, my genetically blessed student!”_ Guy-sensei had declared, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. _”Family is the greatest treasure, after all!”_

And after close to two hours of talking about personal growth, family, and of course, the Springtime of Youth, Guy-sensei had imparted his wisdom for forming closer bonds. 

Apparently, mockery was the way to go. 

From Hinata, he learned very quickly that that wasn’t _exactly_ what Guy-sensei meant. 

“I am certain that Naruto would not like to hear that his great sensei did not believe in her own teachings,” he continued, carefully watching her reaction. 

_Am I doing this right?_

Shaking her head slightly, she managed a sheepish smile. 

“I-I suppose not. Yes, you’re right.”

She followed him to the engawa, the outer corridor of the dojo, and sat down on it next to a tray with a pitcher and two cups that Hinata had brought out at the beginning of their training session. Filling the cups, she graciously offered one to her cousin, who took it with a slight nod. 

They sat in silence. Awkward silence. Outside of training, they didn’t really have anything to talk about. He had been giving her advice and areas to improve on throughout the session anyways, and though they could talk about the Messages, Hinata never seemed too keen on discussing them too much.

Today, he was determined to make progress on that front. Though he didn’t think that talking was a big enough gesture, it was nevertheless a start. On top of it being something he’s wanted to do since they started training together, today he had a special reason to keep her talking.

“Umm, it seems like it will be a snowless December this year, doesn’t it?” Hinata said, trying to break the ice. 

“Yes, it seems so.” 

Silence. 

_Right, light teasing, light teasing. I can’t tease her over her performance, and I’ve already used the Messages today, so what should I do?_

“So, umm, how’s your team?” Hinata asked. 

“Good. We are training hard for the next round of Chunin Exams.” 

“Oh, that’s good. My team is doing that too.” 

Silence. 

“But, uh,” he quickly added, desperate to somehow keep this going. He had to keep her occupied. “Uh, Tenten has been practicing her fuinjutsu more.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yes, she has been using me and Lee for target practice. It is a miracle how quickly Lee recovered from his injuries.” 

“Tsunade-sama is the greatest medical ninja in the world,” Hinata agreed. “Sakura-san tells me many things about her and her training.” 

“Yes, it must be very interesting.” 

Silence. 

He kept looking for an angle of attack, some common thread that could possibly spark a deeper conversation between them. After all, even Hinata won’t be able to keep up with just sparring for long, and his current objective was to keep her busy. 

“So, you’re close with Sakura, then?” 

She nodded vigorously. 

“We’ve been growing closer lately, yes. I’m getting closer to Ino-san, as well. They are very kind and supportive, and have been quite helpful.” 

He nodded thoughtfully, and turning to her with a raised eyebrow, asked, “Aren’t they both learning medical ninjutsu from Tsunade-sama? Guy-sensei mentioned something like that.” 

“Well, yes, they have.” 

“Aren’t you interested at all? I seem to recall that you spent much of your time reading or making herbal medicines. I would have thought that you would have wanted to join them.” 

“Well, they did offer,” she said hesitantly, twiddling her fingers slightly. “But, umm, I thought that, well, uhh…” She took a deep breath. “I always thought that I couldn’t succeed at Jyuuken because, well, everyone told me that I couldn’t. But maybe… maybe I could, with a little more self-confidence, work on Jyuuken to, uh…”

“Prove everyone wrong?” he supplied. 

Hinata blushed slightly, but nodded. 

“I want to prove that I can get stronger. That I can overcome any challenge with a little bit of belief in myself. I don’t want to hide, I want to fight. And, uh, I just thought that the best way to prove that would be by mastering something I was never good at in the first place.” 

“I… see.” He looked at her closely, and took note of how her voice seemed to tremble less. How her eyes seemed to burn with determination. “It’s all because of Naruto, isn’t it?” 

“What?! I mean, uh, yes. Yes, it is.” 

_Looks like we might have common ground after all._

“He has a way, doesn’t he? That Naruto. He’s so simple, it’s like he sees the complexities of the world and chooses to ignore it all. Instead of adapting to it, he runs straight through it all and makes it adapt to him. And somehow, he’s able to use that simple mindset to get to people and to get them to change their whole perspective.” 

He noticed how Hinata’s smile seemed to grow, and the light in her eyes seemed to shine brighter. 

“With him, it’s all so simple. He’s not stupid, nowhere near as stupid as anyone thinks he is. He’s straightforward. He sees everything as a whole and focuses on that.” Her voice began growing more confident as she spoke, and he found himself once again surprised by just how much Hianta was capable of with even the smallest bit of encouragement. “I think, with how everyone is completely caught up on the small things, the ability to look past all that is truly inspirational. Of course, the details are important, and he should still be able to see them, but…”

“That’s where you come in,” he added, smirking slightly. 

And despite her confidence, she couldn’t help but blush a bit brighter at that. 

“Well, maybe not me. There are so many smart and talented people who could support him when he becomes Hokage…”

“Do you actually think he could become Hokage?” he interjected. 

“Well, don’t you?” 

That gave him pause. 

“I won’t deny that he’s… interesting,” he started carefully. “He has certainly demonstrated the worth of hard work and self-belief. He’s certainly taught me much about destiny. Not to mention his…. _other_ power. Still… there is more to being Hokage than simply power or hard work.”

“Then he’ll just have to learn it,” she declared adamantly. 

At this, what felt like a smile tugged at his lips. Not his usual smirk. An actual smile. 

“Perhaps he will.”

They talked a bit more, Hinata telling him more about what Naruto was like in the Academy whale he listened intently. Nodding along, he couldn’t help but notice the way she seemed to turn every negative into a positive, turned every mistake into a learning process. As she became more comfortable in his explanation, he managed to urge her to go more into detail about the Messages, and how she interacted with him. He was curious about just how strongly Naruto had influenced her, and was interested in hearing how she used to interact with him. Though reluctant to go too much into detail, the conversation was nevertheless very insightful, and the more she spoke, the more he realised both the impact Naruto had on her, and the impact she had on Naruto. 

And, more importantly, how oblivious she seemed to be about that second part. 

He was about to comment on that when a bug suddenly bit him on the neck. 

_Why did the signal have to be a bug bite?_

“I see,” he said quickly, stopping her from continuing on. Clearing his throat, he picked up the tray with their cups, and got up. “It’s getting pretty chilly. I think we should go inside now.” 

“Oh, okay,” she agreed hesitantly, and followed him back to the main house. 

_Alright, today is the day. The day to truly see how much I have matured._

If she noticed how awkwardly he was holding himself, she didn’t comment. 

“Well then,” he announced awkwardly, “let’s get in.” 

He opened the door. 

“SURPRISE!” 

In complete honesty, he couldn’t have been prouder. The way she instantly reacted, activating her Byakugan and going into her stance, tackling her assailant to the ground while effectively shutting down a couple major tenketsu was incredibly impressive. Yet… 

“Ah, Hinata! What’s that for?” Kiba protested as Hinata, suddenly realising who it was, hastily jumped off of him and deactivated her Byakugan. 

“I-I’m s-so sorry! I-I… I don’t know what to say!” 

“To be fair, Kiba,” Shino started from the other side of the room, holding a bright purple birthday balloon in his hand, “jumped out at a well-trained kunoichi is never a good idea. Especially when it is a Hyuuga kunoichi that we’re dealing with.” 

“Shino’s right, you can never take Hyuuga women too lightly,” Kurenai agreed, before walking over to Hinata and enveloping her in a huge hug. “Happy birthday, Hinata.” 

Too numb with shock to hug back, Hinata simply stared as her sensei pulled away, and then her eyes drifted away and took in the hallway. Banners and balloons littered the place, with bright, colourful ribbons hanging from the roof and the smell of cake wafting in through a separate room. A large, vibrant banner was plastered against the wall, stating ‘Happy 12th, Hinata!” in bold, cheerful lettering. There was Kurenai, her gentle hand resting on Hinata’s shoulder; Kiba, still on the floor nursing his closed tenketsu; Shino, who was walking over to stand by Hinata’s side; Team 10, which was standing nearer to the back, Ino smiling brightingly by a vase of flowers; Sakura stood by her, beaming at her former classmate; and his own team, Guy crying, Lee with tears in his eyes, and Tenten trying to look happy for Hinata but too exasperated by her sensei and teammate’s antics.

“M-my… birthday?” Hinata whispered out. 

It was a day that hadn’t been celebrated since the Hyuuga Affair, one that neither part of the clan was interested in even acknowledging. But when Kurenai approached Hinata’s father about potentially using the main house to throw Hinata a small party, he had surprisingly allowed it to happen. 

“You guys… but why?” 

“What do you mean, why?” Kiba laughed out. “Because that’s what you do on your friend’s birthday, you celebrate it. 

And as she stared at Kiba in complete amazement, Sakura and Ino materialised by her side, grabbed her by the arms, then whisked her away down the hall, towards the food, followed by Tenten and a very excited Choji. 

“Hey, don’t go kidnapping our teammate like that!” Kiba yelled after them as he stormed after them, followed by the rest of Teams 10 and Guy, leaving Kurenai and Shino and _him_ by the entrance. 

“You all never gave her a chance to even take her sandals off,” he sighed, exasperated by the excitement drifting from the other room as he knelt down to take his own off. 

Kurenai smiled at him, shaking her head. 

“Thank you for doing this for her,” Shino said to him quietly, looking over at the end of the hallway. 

“Me? What did I do? Sakura asked me to keep Hinata-sama busy, so I did that.” 

“What did you?” asked Kurenai, raising an eyebrow at him. “We always assumed that her birthday would have been some form of quiet celebration reserved for fellow Hyuugas. Had you not told us what was really going on, we would never have done this.” 

“Oh,” he said simply, looking at both Kurenai and Shino, who were looking at him as though what he did was somehow praiseworthy. Well, Kurenai was. Even his Byakugan couldn’t penetrate Shino’s stoic exterior. “I was simply trying to repent.” 

_I want to make it up to her. For my mistakes._

“After nearly killing her, I would think that a simple birthday party would be a very small thing,” he continued, walking past both Team 8 members with an air of finality. 

_I just want to show Father that I can grow. That I can be like him._

_After what Father did for his family… after what I did to mine… small gestures like these are not enough._

“Let me give you some advice, then,” Kurenai called out from behind him. 

He paused. 

“When it comes to relationships, whether familial, or friendship, or any type of relationship really, it’s the small things that count. Of course, as you know very well, there are instances when shared experience, or shared pain, can form bonds deeper than blood. But those are connections. Actual relationships are different. Stop trying to look for some big way of apologising. Continuous, small things are what lays the foundation. Whether it’s a small word of encouragement every once in a while, a fond smile, or perhaps a small tub of medicine…” She smiled fondly, looking off to the end of the corridor as she did so. “An offer of help during a hard time, or even something as small as passing around notes. It’s those acts that truly give meaning to the big things ” 

Shino looked up at her, presumably from confusion at the way she emphasised that bit about notes, but _he_ understood it.

He continued to walk away. 

“We should go before Team 10 finishes all the food,” was all that he said as he rounded the corner. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The wind howled overhead in remembrance of his Father, as it did every year when he came up to Hokage Rock to glare at the night sky. Snow had failed to fall upon the village this year, so without the picturesque white trapping the houses and trees in its beautiful embrace, the cold washing through Konoha seemed especially sinister. Even more ruthless in the way it numbed his skin and bit his insides. 

_More divine punishment? Was Kurenai-sensei wrong, is it about finding something to equal the pain I caused Hinata-sama after all?_

No, he had to stop thinking that way. Naruto had taught him to stop looking at destiny and fate in such a manner. There was no divine retribution for trying to elevate himself from his position as Hinata’s slave to being her equal, her cousin and friend. 

And yet… tonight seemed to be especially cold. Colder than he had ever experienced before. A stark contrast to the warmth that filled the dining room at the Hyuuga compound when they celebrated Hinata’s birthday earlier that day. The combined body heat of him, seven excited genin, Shikamaru, the senseis, and Hinata’s own, blushing self seemed to fill the room with a warmth that, though initially making him feel uncomfortable, started to grow on him. The hugs, the birthday wishes, Hinata bursting into happy tears as they made her blow out the birthday candles seemed to warm up the place even more. 

Hinata’s smile was like the sun, radiating through them all throughout the party, shining so brightly that even he couldn’t help the twitching of the corner of his lips. 

_Maybe that’s why it’s so damn cold,_ he thought irritably, shivering up on the cliff by himself. _Maybe I don’t deserve to smile._

Maybe he didn’t deserve to feel pride in himself instead of the enormous guilt he had been carrying around since Naruto defeated him and he learned the truth about his father. Maybe he simply didn’t deserve the forgiveness that Hinata had seemed so quick to bestow upon him, like it was a crown on his head that weighed too much for him to handle. 

Gritting his teeth to stop them from chattering, he looked directly up at the moon, and said out loud, “what should I do?” 

“Y-you c-could try going inside?” 

Hyuugas were impossible to surprise, impossible to catch off guard. Which was why Hinata’s quiet voice coming out of nowhere sent him straight into combat mode. She fell over with a slight shriek from his attack, his palm a centimeter away from her face as he stood over her, Byakugan engaged and locked on to her most vital tenketsu. 

“Hinata-sama?” he breathed out in astonishment as he withdrew his hand. Immediately engaging his Byakugan, he knelt down and helped her back up. “What— what are you doing here?” 

“I… I saw you sneak out, and I knew you were coming here,” she whispered, looking incredibly nervous. She looked away, kept her body small, and began twiddling her fingers. 

He narrowed his eyes. 

“Have you… have you been spying on me every year?” 

Despite the fact that she said nothing, the fear on her face and the trembling of her body told him everything.

Sighing, he went back to sit on the cliff, staring out to the dark sky once again, slightly peeved that he had been so absorbed in his self misery that Hinata was able to sneak up on him. 

“I will give you this, you’re far more adept at stealth than I realised.”

“I… I used to watch you from the compound… with my Byakugan,” she whispered, a little ashamedly. 

“You don’t need to be ashamed of spying me. It’s not like I was hiding this,” he sighed once more.

“I am ashamed… because I should have been up here with you.”

Caught by surprise once again, he turned to stare at her. Was she really saying what he thought she was? 

“I… I would always watch you come up here from a distance…. I was always too scared to come up. I-I know that today is a really hard day for you, and I’m sorry I forgot today.” 

Shaking his head, he looked closer at her fearful face. It held all the usual signs, the fear, the trembling lip, but her eyes seemed more forceful than ever. 

Her mind was set.

“No, don’t worry about that. But you really don’t have to be here, Hinata-sama. It’s cold up here.” 

“I don’t think it’s cold,” she said quietly, and sat down on the edge of the Rock as well, sitting up straight with her legs pressed tightly together. She wasn’t sitting too close to him, but not too far either. 

Silently, they sat there, watching the night sky together. He felt like saying something, telling her to leave him alone in his silent remembrance of his father, but somehow didn’t have the strength to. Somehow, even though not a single word was passed, he felt… light. Like some burden was lifted from his shoulders. 

Surprisingly, he realised that he didn’t feel as cold anymore.For the first time in years, the armour of hatred that kept him warm against the cold seemed to dissipate, and he felt like himself. Like he didn’t need to hide under that armour, that it was never cold in the first place. 

What felt like an hour passed before he spoke again. 

“Happy birthday, Hinata-sama.”

“Thank you, Neji-niisan.”

**Less than a year ago**

“Again!”

“Ah!’ 

Hinata covered her face in embarrassment as Kiba and Sakura teamed up to tell Naruto about her fights in the Chunin Exams that took place after he had left, the one where she became promoted to Chunin. 

“And then,” Kiba chortled as he mimicked an Iwa genin trying to look suave, “he actually tried flirting with her again!” 

“You should have seen how quickly the match ended after that fourth try,” Sakura added, grinning as she wrapped an arm around Hinata’s shoulder. “It was something alright!” 

“Well, my victory wasn’t nearly as impressive as yours, Sakura-chan,” Hinata quickly deflected, unwilling to take more compliments as they strolled through the village, the evening breeze brushing softly against their faces, the December chill surprisingly absent as they walked out of the restaurant where they had been celebrating Hinata’s 16th birthday. “You ended the fight almost instantly.”

“Yeah, but your opponent was so much more experienced,” Sakura insisted. “I’m not sure I could have taken him on, honestly.”

“No, I think you’d—” 

“We get it, you’re both amazing kunoichi who are masters in your own individual craft,” Kiba interrupted, rolling his eyes at Shino.

“Well, sure, I can live with that!” Sakura laughed as Ino came in and wrapped her arm around Hinata from the other side. “Still, I really do think that Hinata should join us medics. She’s really got the skills for it. Which reminds me,” she said sternly, suddenly looking at Naruto, “Naruto, remember to meet me at the hospital tomorrow at 10:00.” 

“What? Is this a date?” 

Shikamaru and Ino rolled their eyes, Lee rubbed the back of his neck and Tenten grinned as Sakura started berating Naruto, scolding him about how it was to check up on his arm that was still messed up from his fight with the Akatsuki. Neji noticed Kiba lean over to Shino and whisper something that sounded a lot like “Operation Cherry Blossom Removal”, and saw what looked like a nod on Shino’s part. 

Hinata simply smiled fondly at the two, but Neji noticed a touch of melancholy in her eyes as she looked on. 

“Right!” Ino declared when Sakura finally finished scolding Naruto. “Now that Billboard Brows is finished, the real party can start!” 

“Great, I brought food!” Choji agreed as he raised a large bag of leftovers he had grabbed from the restaurant. 

Smiling at their antics, Hinata turned to Shino, and asked, “if everyone still wants to hang out, where should we go?” 

“Well, I’d suggest the Anthill, that Aburame run—”

“How about some place without bugs?” Kiba interrupted, elbowing Shino in the ribs. “It’s Hinata’s birthday, how about we go somewhere she actually likes.” 

“As I recall,” Shino said measuredly, “Hinata seemed to enjoy it the last time I took you both there.” 

“As I recall, Hinata is too nice to ever admit how much she hates your hang out recommendations,” Kiba countered. 

Spinning around, Shino seemed to lean towards Hinata. “Is this true?” 

“No, it’s not! I definitely really liked the Anthill! I really liked the aesthetic!” 

“Is that so? Can you give me specifics? What exactly do you like in there?” 

“Well, umm…” 

“How about we go up to Hokage Rock?” Neji suggested.

“Hokage Rock? That’s a great idea! The view is amazing there, ya know!” Naruto exclaimed.

The group seemed to collectively agree, and, with Shino looking slightly disgruntled, and they walked towards the cliff. Only Hinata didn’t seem to be too excited, and as the rest of the group went ahead, talking, she fell back and walked in step with Neji. 

“Are you sure about this?” she asked, concern in her voice and curiosity in her eyes. “Considering what today is?” 

“Hinata-sama, it’s fine,” he assured her, smiling at her. “I think with the way things are, it’s important that we all stick together.” 

It had been a couple of months since Asuma’s death, and November and most of December had been quite a somber time. Her birthday party had definitely been a well needed reprieve, and Team 10, and Kurenai, with whom Team 8 had lunch earlier in the day, had seemed relieved by the celebrations.

That didn’t mean that the pain wasn’t there. 

Nodding, she looked ahead, but still continued to walk along with him. 

“Thank you for sharing this with us all.” 

“Nonsense, it’s not like Hokage Rock is some sort of private place.” 

“You know that that’s not what I meant,” she said quietly. 

She had joined him in his tradition the last couple of years, last time walking up with him instead of following him from a distance. They had sat there quietly, occasionally discussing the clan and its future.Mostly they sat in silence. He told her the little he remembered of his father, and she talked about how her relationship with her own father was improving, and surprisingly, he hadn’t felt the envy or hatred that he would have previously expected. He actually felt… good. 

He had learned much since his match with Naruto, and dealing with pain was one of them. 

He thought that Team 10 might benefit from today. 

“I should be the one thanking you,” Neji whispered back. 

They walked up Hokage Rock, joking and laughing as they went. Together, as a group, Neji noticed that the annual roar of the wind had been reduced to a whistle, and barely felt any cold. The stars seemed to shine brighter in the sky, and as they settled down at the cliff, huddled together, Neji felt lighter than he had ever felt. Subtly making sure that Naruto got to sit next to Hinata (he noticed Shino’s silent approval), he sat on the other side of Hinata, in between her and Tenten, the latter of whom was engaging him in conversation about an interaction she had with the Hokage. Laughing about her awkwardness talking one on one with her role model, she explained that she had gone to her based on an application to work with the Konoha Sealing Corps. 

He smiled proudly at her. Tenten had truly embraced her uniqueness, seeking to make her own path with her own hands. 

In the background, he heard Naruto laughing loudly as he conversed with Choji and Hinata, simultaneously joking about and complaining about his arm. He noticed the way she seemed to be more comfortable with Naruto than he would have expected, the way she seemed to engage him in questions and laugh lightly along with him, albeit behind her hand. Ino was admonishing Shikamaru for smoking, Lee and Kiba discussing some of their recent missions, and Shino and Sakura were discussing bugs in the field of medicine.

Feeling warm, he took off his hitai-ate and bandages. His forehead felt much lighter now. 

It was, in many ways, a perfect evening.

When Tenten ended her piece and went over to talk with Lee and Kiba, Neji sat there in silence, occasionally glancing over at Naruto and Hinata but mostly focusing on the stars above. Mostly, he enjoyed the conversation around him, the effortless comfort he now felt around the ten of them. It was what he always imagined a family was like. 

All eleven of them, sitting there together, under the night sky. 

It really was a warm night.

**Present**

“Again!”

“Again!” 

The yells could not be heard through the screaming and scuffling on the battlefield, everyone screaming out their own jutsu as they did everything they could to stop the wooden spikes from killing them. He kept yelling, though, hoping someone would hear him and synchronise with him as he blasted Kuushou after Kuushou. 

_No!_

Another Kaiten, another volley of spikes knocked aside. He was running out of chakra, fast. There was no way they could keep up with the Jyuubi, it was simply too powerful. 

They were fighting against the power of a god. Destiny would say that this was the end of them. 

_”I do not go back on my word. That is my Ninja Way.”_

He kept going, doing all he could to resist Fate, to resist the call of Death as he tried to protect Naruto. It was all too much, too overwhelming. 

He couldn’t keep up. 

He wouldn’t make it. 

_Focus!_ he thought as he saw Hinata blast away several spikes overhead, and saw how vulnerable she was. She was right there, guarding Naruto, the Jyuubi’s target. 

She was right in the monster’s sights. 

_I won’t let them!_

Fighting desperately, he tried to converse as much of his chakra as possible, reducing his own strength just in case he needed it to protect Naruto. Protect Hinata. 

It wouldn’t end here. He wouldn’t let it. 

Another volley of spikes went straight at him, and with no choice, he produced another Kaiten, trying to use the absolute minimum chakra to maintain it. It was not enough. A spike pierced through, knocking off his hitai-ate, exposing the Cage Bird Seal. 

_I can’t keep up!_

He couldn’t keep up. It was impossible. 

His destiny was sealed.

But if he couldn’t avoid walking down this path, then the least he could do was change how he walked along it. 

A burst of chakra from the Jyuubi, and it raised one, horrific hand. The chakra transformed, turning into spikes, and were launched at high velocities. 

The chakra charged in those spikes was overwhelming. 

No chakra blast, no wall of stone or chakra shield would be able to stop them. 

From his Byakugan, he saw her move. 

His little sister. 

The world went black.   
______________________________________________________________________________

Uzumaki Naruto, the one who saved him from the abyss. 

And Hyuuga Hinata, the one who showed him how to move on. 

It was the thought of them that kept him going, helped him grow, mature, become someone better. Naruto inspired him to look past his hatred, and Hinata taught him kindness and love. With them, he finally opened his eyes and saw the truth. He saw the kindness of Guy, the determination of Lee, the wonders of Tenten. He looked past the Hyuuga’s heritage of hatred, and towards the future, towards the sun, where the Hyuuga could go, where the Hyuuga were supposed to be. With Hinata and Hiashi, he fought to bridge the gap between the branch and the main families, leading them to a future where not even cracks would be left when the chasm was closed. He served his village, diligently working to keep it safe, to keep it prosperous as he took missions after mission, ready to die for his home if necessary. 

Die for his family, like his father did. But not because his father had done so. But because it was something he was willing to do. 

Death was not as painful as he expected. He did not feel a searing heat, nor a hellish cold. His entire body was numb, and warmth seeped through his entire body, as though he was simply going to sleep after a long, tiring day. 

The chaos around him stopped. The spikes stopped. The screaming stopped. All was at peace around him, and even Hinata and Naruto’s desperate cries were fading away for him. 

_A poetic end… what would be a poetic way to go?_

In the end, he did exactly as he always knew he was destined to do — die for the main branch. 

He found that he disagreed. 

_What would be a poetic note to end on?_

Darkness came for him, not as a hostile force, but with the soft embrace of a mother, urging him to melt in its gentle touch. The life did not drain out of him like blood from a body, but burned out softly, like a candle. The boot of gravity lifted off of him, and the chains around him disintegrated. 

Now, the only things he could sense was the shaken voice of Naruto, and the twin pearls of Hinata’s eyes. 

Even as his vision faded, those pearls seemed to stay, shining with honestly, glowing with emotion. Like two moons bathing the world in its ethereal light when the dark of the night settled, he tried to stay focused on them, as his anchor, as the gentle waves of Death threatened to wash him away, and the winds of the afterlight tried to blow him up to the sky. 

Suddenly, he realised that he didn’t really hate the Byakugan that much. 

Naruto’s voice came to him, distant, distorted. His words seemed familiar. It seemed like a question. 

His vision faded even further, until the pearls became nothing but two pinpricks of light shining in the void. 

There is no end of the tunnel. 

The last of his strength seemed to understand Naruto’s question. 

“Because…” he croaked, and his own voice sounded distant and disconnected, “I was called a genius.” 

He heard no more. 

The twin lights disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended up way longer than planned, so hopefully it wasn't too boring! Hopefully the next chapter will take less time to complete.


	18. Within the Angel's Heart, Part 1 (Fourth Shinobi War)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto knows no fear. 
> 
> That is, he didn't know what true fear was until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy!

Asking if Uzumaki Naruto was brave or not would be like asking if Shimura Danzo hated the Uchiha or not. Or if Hatake Kakashi was a fan of the Icha-Icha series or not.

Ask anyone, and they would, without hesitation, confirm that yes, Uzumaki Naruto, Hero of Konoha, knew no fear. 

And really, how could he? The jailor of the most terrifying Bijuu of them all, as a child he had gone face to face with the likes of Hyuuga Neji, said to be unparalleled by any of the Konoha genin at the time. To protect those he loved most, he faced Shukaku, the Ichibi, the Demon of the Desert, with nothing but his wits and his determination. He challenged Orochimaru, the man who murdered The God of Shinobi, valiantly battled the Akatsuki, defeated Pain, and was now fighting against the legendary Uchiha Madara. He calls Tsunade “baachan” on a daily basis and, in the heart of battle, led the entire Shinobi Alliance against the all powerful Juubi. 

Yes, fear was simply not a word in his vocabulary. 

“Naruto...kun!” 

That simple, disembodied whisper cut through him, penetrating his mind and piercing his heart. A horrible, indescribable jolt of pure horror shot through his entire body, as though he had just drunk an entire bottle of undiluted terror that was now burning through his system. 

Fear, 

It was fear as he had never felt before. 

Immediately, his body moved. Driven by a baser instinct that activated before his mind could even fully comprehend what that voice meant, he moved, desperate to get to the source, determined to save _her._

Sasuke stopped him, and for a brief moment before the rational side of his mind kicked in, there was nothing he wanted to do more than to incinerate him on the spot for stopping him. How could Sasuke be telling him to stand still when Naruto’s body was telling him that something wrong, something so horribly wrong was going on outside of the protection of the Susanoo?

Through the power of the Six Paths, he had sensed the sinister chakra of the Infinite Tsukuyomi wash through the area — the entire world, in fact — and ensnare everyone within it, forming countless tendrils that coiled around then rooted themselves in the chakra of all living beings. A weed. A parasite. And though he could feel the each of these tendrils captured the chakra of his comrades, even though the feeling of crushing disappointment and self loathing at his failure to stop Madara in time were overwhelming, it wasn’t until he heard _her_ voice, sounding so strong and clear — as though she was standing right next to him again — before being cut off by the darkness that he truly felt something awful grip his heart. 

His friends, his comrades, all of his precious bonds outside of the original Team 7… were cut off from him. 

As Sasuke briefed them on the situation, Naruto couldn’t help but clench his fist. It was still there, the phantom hand that held on to his own not so long ago that brought him back to reality. Tingling, the sensation was agitating him, as though mocking him. 

That hand… Small, yet so strong… and so comforting… it was gone. 

Sasuke’s arrogance got on his already strained patience as he desperately went through all he remembered from the Sage of Six Paths’ explanation, looking for any small detail on how to stop the Infinite Tsukuyomi. They had spent all of their strength and ingenuity in trying to prevent the genjutsu that now, he was at a loss at how to save them all. Even in the short time that he had his new Six Paths Sage Mode, he had gotten so used to being in tune with every living thing around him that the sudden silence that took over as the God Tree assimilated the chakra of the entire planet shook him to the core. 

He couldn’t sense them anymore. 

He couldn’t sense her anymore. 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this anymore. When he had saved her from those Zetsu, he thought that he’d never have to feel that dreaded sense of powerlessness any longer. He had thought that it was over, thought that the days when he could do nothing more than to sit on the side, powerless as she risked her life were over. Something deep within him threatened to rip him apart as they impatiently waited for the glare of the moon to stop. The Chunin Exams preliminaries; Pain; Neji; now. 

He kept failing her. 

He saw the deep trust in her eyes, the unwavering belief that shined in them for so long, and promised to live up to it. He told himself that he’d never let a single comrade die, had thought that he could single handedly protect everyone that he cared about.

What a fucking lie that was. 

What happened next felt like a blur; everything was going too fast, new information was pouring in too quickly. Stepping out of the Susanoo’s protection, watching as Black Zetsu stabbed Madara through the chest… it all happened too quickly. With his world shaken, he could barely hold on as pure, incredibly powerful chakra burst out of the ground and into Madara. Unbelievably dense, the chakra threatened to overwhelm his shell shock state, but something kept him grounded. 

Team 7. He had absolute faith that together, they solve any problem. 

And, of course, he’d do anything to save his other comrades. 

“Don’t worry, the last time the Infinite Tsukuyomi was used, no one died,” he heard Black Zetsu saying in the distance, through the pounding rush of emotion and blood in his head. “No, they all turned into White Zetsu!” 

His heart threatened to stop beating completely. White Zetsu? That army of zombies that caused so much death and destruction was made up of… people? 

_No._

That meant that as long as everyone was in their cocoons under the effect of the Infinite Tsukuyomi, they were going to slowly turn into Zetsu. Which meant that… 

_Guardian angel,_ he prayed. _Please, please protect my comrades._

_Protect them all!_

_Protect… please protect…_  
______________________________________________________________________________

“Hinata!” 

The voice sang through the thin walls of her room, gently prodding her awake from deep slumber. Shifting under the covers, part of her felt reluctant to get up — she was so comfortable. Yet as she began to gain consciousness, and the sounds of the birds singing outside registered, and the croaking of the frogs at the distant pond mixed in with the shuffling of feet upon the gravel, and the aroma of the bouquet of flowers sitting in its vase at the corner of her room slowly made its way to her, seducing her senses and wrapping around her like the arms of a lover, a massive smile formed on her lips as she yawned. 

She kept her eyes closed though, preferring to lay there, trying to recall the dream that she had just been having. 

It was an odd sort of dream, confusing, disturbing in a way that she could not quite comprehend, a complete contrast to the wave of giddiness that washed over her as the memories of yesterday came in and forced the dream out. Like a blip that barely registered in the overwhelming contentment of sleep, and the remaining happiness 

Yes, yesterday was amazing. So amazing that she decided to waste no more time trying to recall that one dream. 

She opened her eyes. Taking in the soft, almost orange glow of the morning sunlight filtering through her curtains, she sat up, her eyes immediately drifting over to the elegant bouquet. Red, purple, blue, orange — it was like a rainbow had been captured and stuck onto stems. Her heartbeat quickened at the sight of it, the giddiness straining her cheek, her smile too big for her face. 

Looking over at her bedside table, she felt like she could simply explode from happiness.

A single lily next to a photo and a roughly cut square piece of paper. With purple handwriting. 

Even though she had read that note over and over again in bed last night, she couldn’t help but run her finger across the paper as though to make sure that it was real. Gentle picking it up, she read it again, and pressed it to her chest. 

It wasn’t the most elegant of messages. The handwriting was messy, the paper wasn’t evenly cut, and it looked like it had been written using crayon. 

But it was from _him,_ and that single fact made it one of the most valuable things that she owned. 

She then gingerly picked up the photo. The two of them smiling, not at the camera, but at each other. 

Unable to contain it anymore, she jumped up from the bed, practically skipping around her room as she set about her morning routine. Making her bed, changing out of her pajamas, looking through her little notebook to check her schedule for the day, there was an extra spring to her step as she stopped every so often re-read the note, and to closely smell the bouquet. Eventually, when she deemed that there was nothing left to do in her room to justify her staying there any longer, she stuck the photo up on her wall, where it joined countless other photos that Hinata had deemed important. 

Photos of her and her family. Her and her friends. Her and her teammates. 

And, of course, the many photos of her and her boyfriend. 

Just the thought of that word made her giggle, and after taking several moments to closely examine her favourite ones — that was to say, all of them — she flew out of her room and down the hallways, the delicious smells of her favourite foods drifting down from the kitchen. She slowed down to savour the aroma. It was like a scene from a dream — the perfect morning. 

“Hinata! Breakfast is ready!” the voice sang out from the kitchen again. 

“Coming!” 

Still enticed by the wondrous smells of her favourite foods, she continued to leisurely make her way to the kitchen, moving like a petal caught in the wind. Once there, she hugged the woman at the stove from the back before whirling around to set the table in the adjacent dining room. 

“Good morning, mother!” 

Her mother turned around to look at Hinata, an eyebrow raised above a teasing smile. “Looks like someone had a good night’s sleep.” 

“Well, depends on your definition of good,” Hinata said, giggling. “Good as in restful? Maybe not. Good as in absolutely amazing?” 

“Well, it’s not surprising, considering that she was practically singing after her date last night.” 

That was Hanabi, yawning slightly as she stepped into the dining room and sitting down at the table to grin at Hinata as she walked back and forth through the open sliding doors. 

Hinata blushed in response. 

“Seriously, though, you never spilled any deets, Nee-chan. How’d it go? What did you do?”

“Well… umm….”

“Neechan, you’re blushing!” Hanabi excitedly pointed out. “Come on, what did you do?”

“Hanabi, telling you about her evening last night is Hinata’s choice to make. Mind your own business,” their mother gently scolded. 

Smiling at the way her sister pouted, Hinata, setting down the last of the dishes, sat beside Hanabi and sighed, a dreamy expression overtaking her face. 

“No, it’s okay. It was just so wonderful that I didn’t know where to begin.” She sighed in contentment again. “We took a walk at sunset and talked for hours at the park. We picked flowers in the field outside of the village and had dinner at Ichiraku. He was so… romantic.” 

“Ramen is romantic?” Hanabi questioned, frowning. 

“It’s a very special place to him!”

“He took you to ramen for a date.” 

“Ramen means a lot to him!” 

“You know he takes everyone out to ramen, right? Heck, he took me out for ramen when Neji-nii-san and I were vetting him.” 

“Yes, but… you two _vetted_ him?” 

“Look, Nee-chan,” Hanabi said, crossing her arms, “all I’m saying is that maybe you shouldn’t keep giving in to what he wants. Make sure that your wants are being taken care of too.” 

“They are!” Hinata insisted. “The whole picking flowers thing was for me! And I suggested that we stop at the park!” 

“And I bet that your… “talk” at the park was 90% about his prospects at becoming Hokage.” 

“Hanabi!” 

“Hanabi’s just trying to make sure her older sister is happy,” came the voice of their father, who silently slid into the dining room, smiled at his wife, then sat down opposite his daughters. Taking one stern look at Hinata, Hiashi carefully raised his own question. “Uzumaki Naruto… I’m assuming that he was respectful?” 

“Yes, very respectful!” 

“He didn’t try anything funny?” 

“No, he was a complete gentleman, Otou-sama.” 

“How were his table manners?” Hanabi asked. 

“Hanabi!” 

“Hanabi is right, Hinata, table manners are important,” Hiashi pressed on. 

“He’s not an animal, if that’s what you mean,” Hinata replied indignantly. “He’s the son of the Yondaime Hokage, after all.” 

“Coming from an important family doesn’t stop him from being a slob,” her mother suddenly remarked. “Just look at Hanabi.” 

“Hey!” 

“Yondaime-sama and his wife are quite the pair, but your mother is right. Naruto is rather…” 

“Well I think he was great,” Hinata quietly but firmly announced, taking advantage of her father looking for the right answer. 

“Of course, I’m sure that he was,” her mother quickly assured. “You know that we all approve of him. Your father wouldn’t give you and Naruto-kun his permission otherwise.”

“Not that we believe that you need permission to date him,” her father added. 

“We just want to make sure that you’re happy,” her mother finished. 

Hanabi and her father both nodded, and Hinata couldn’t help but smile. That was just what her family was like. Protective, but ultimately supportive. 

Her father smiled at her. 

“So, do you have plans with Naruto today?” 

“Yes, I’m having lunch with him,” Hinata replied happily, the dreamy light coming back to her eyes. 

“I see. Make sure you get back as quickly as you can. Remember, we’re having dinner with your uncle.”

Nodding, Hinata finished off her bowl of rice and went to put away her plates. Dinner with Hyuuga Hizashi and his family was always a fun affair, but she wasn’t very thrilled with having to spend the evening with Neji. Not that they didn’t get on — they were practically siblings — but because her cousin had caught her and Naruto in a… compromising situation last night during their date. 

After her family finished with breakfast and Hinata helped her mother clean everything up, she decided that she was too antsy to wait patiently at home and decided to go out. She went out around the Hyuuga clan compound, talking with and helping various members of her clan. It was a lazy sort of day, where the sun was shining bright and everyone felt too cheerful to do more than hang around and talk, but she did help a few elderly Hyuuga with watering the compound gardens, helped out the children trying to decide what to get for their mother’s birthday, and kept the guards at the gates company for a little as she slowly made her way through to the village proper. 

“Hinata, wait.” 

With one foot outside of the compound threshold, she looked around and saw the clan member she was dreading most, standing a few paces behind her in simple, everyday clothes and a stern frown under his clear, smooth forehead. 

“Oh, good morning, Neji-nii-san!” she called out, overly cheerfully. Embarrassing memories of the position she and Naruto had been caught in yesterday flooded her mind, and a slight blush formed on her cheeks. “Lovely weather today, isn’t it?” 

He surveyed her with suspicious eyes, his arms crossed and his hair blowing in the breeze. 

“You’re off to see Naruto again, aren’t you.” 

“Just for lunch.”

“It’s 10 o’clock.” 

Her blush grew deeper. 

“I uhh… I’m not going to see him right now. I was just going to meet up with Kiba-kun and Shino-kun. And maybe check up on Mirai-chan. Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei went on a mini-vacation, see, and, well, I was going to volunteer to take care of her, but Shikamaru’s mother beat me to it, so…” 

He raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay fine! I just can’t wait until lunch.”

Sighing, Neji walked over to her, but instead of stopping, he passed right by her, briskly walking a few paces ahead before turning to look back at her. 

“Then it seems that you need something to occupy yourself with. Come, let’s go training.” 

And, with no proper excuse to cover for the fact that what she really wanted to do was go looking for Naruto around the village, she followed him to the training fields. 

Technically speaking, shinobi had no need to fight anymore. Since the light of peace had been shining on the world for decades, most of the Ninja Arts were relegated to tradition, something to master but not necessarily use. Nowadays, ninjas were employed for a large variety of different tasks, many of which revolved around maintaining the peace, but most of which were more about investigation and exploration than espionage or fighting. 

The Age of Shinobi was no longer one of death and war. No longer did mothers have to fear for their children’s lives when they went off to missions, nor did the children worry about perfecting their clan’s secret techniques. Love was free, and it was abundant. 

After arriving at the field, Neji wasted no time in stretching and warming up. Hinata raised an eyebrow at how aggressive Neji seemed to be this morning.

“You seem to be very worked up about something,” she observed. 

“What— oh, it’s nothing. I’m simply excited to see how far you’ve come, that’s all.”

Somehow, she wasn’t convinced. 

“Is this about Naruto? Do you not approve?” 

He stopped in the middle of some aggressively performed ballistic bounces and shook his head. 

“At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide how you want to live your life, Hinata. I like Naruto, we have an excellent rapport. That’s not to say that I am completely comfortable with all aspects of your relationship, you are like a little sister to me. So make sure you don’t go doing any more… of that business. At least, not in public.” 

She blushed and looked down, embarrassed. 

“We were just… kissing.”

He gave her a disbelieving look. 

“Hinata, you two looked like you were almost about to pass through each other.” 

“We were just getting a little passionate!” 

“Then don’t do it in the park.” 

And with that, he lunged. 

Hinata stumbled back, wincing from Neji’s powerful palm thrust, but then immediately dodged the next strike, spinning around his barrage of attack before dropping down to the ground to kick from below. He blocked it. She jumped up and engaged him, throwing around every Hyuuga move that she knew while he countered, grunting, but still holding on. 

He was better, but she wasn’t that much worse. Not to mention that he seemed considerably more distracted. 

For several more minutes, they danced around each other while showcasing their individual proficiencies at the Jyuuken. She was faster and more flexible, but Neji, with his skill, stamina and strength, was like a mountain. Her attacks merely seemed to flow around him, unable to do much while not allowing a single strike hit her. 

After blocking a series of jabs, she jumped backwards before leaping towards him, twisting around to deliver a sharp kick to the head. He knocked it aside with a hand, but was forced to move out of the way of the next kick, which sent Hinata spinning into position with a palm directly at his midsection. 

_Got you!_

“Kaiten!” 

Spinning like a top, he created a powerful dome of chakra that Hinata barely managed to dodge, having seen the sudden buildup and discharge of chakra in his body through her Byakugan. As soon as Neji finished his rotation, she charged straight at him, wasting no time to deliver a series of high speed strikes at him as he recovered from his jutsu. 

“Nice!” he commented as he barely avoided all but one, wincing as she struck a major tenketsu in his shoulder. Instead of closing it, she completely destabilised the chakra flow through it, throwing his chakra into disarray and messing up his chakra control in that arm.

Anyone without the Byakugan would have noticed that there was still chakra flow there, and carried on fighting, only for the chakra in their arm to blow the limb off as soon as they tried to use that unstable chakra. 

That was the simple elegance that made the Hyuuga the strongest in Konoha. 

“Good!” he yelled as he expelled chakra from his knee in a miniature isolated Kaiten, knocking her back as he struck himself in the affected tenketsu, closing it momentarily to restore natural flow. In the same movement, he spun around, sending a powerful Kuusho at her, which she simply sliced through with her own chakra sheathed hand. The consequent release of energy, however, pushed her away a bit, giving Neji space to finally restore his arm and get into his final stance. 

The clan's ultimate execution move,

“Hakke, Rokujuuyonshou!” 

“Shugo Hakke, Rokujuuyonshou!” 

She countered his own sixty-four palms with ribbons of chakra that blocked his strikes, forming a dome of rapidly moving chakra blades around her. 

His strikes merely glanced off of her ultimate defense, and for a moment, the air rang with energy as Hinata protected against every single attack until they were both left gasping for air, watching each other warily as they took a step back. 

“Well done, Hinata,” Neji finally congratulated before taking a seat on the grass to continue to catch his breath. “You almost managed to make me slightly tired.” 

Following his example and sitting down, she gave him a mock pout, then giggled as Neji seemed too tired to formulate a proper response. Wincing slightly as she gingerly felt some chakra burns, she set about manipulating the flow of chakra within her network to heal the wound up. It was a pale imitation of Naruto’s natural regeneration, but was something that had been in the Hyuuga clan for a while. Such high levels of internal chakra control were difficult to attain, though, and took a lot of resilience to put to use. Many Hyuuga who have tried to learn it gave up in the process, unable to maintain the will or resilience to cope with it. 

But not her. Resilience was never an issue for her.

They sat in silence for a while as Hinata observed her cousin’s thoughtful mood, trying to figure out why Neji seemed to be so distracted today.

“You seemed to have cheered up a little.” 

Neji looked at her, surprised. 

“Well,” she continued, “you seemed slightly on edge earlier. And since there’s not much that can bother you like that, as since you made it clear that my relationship is none of your business, it must have something to do with your team, is that correct?” 

His eyes widened, but he otherwise gave no other indication that she had caught him. 

“That is… very observant of you, Hinata.”

“You also seem very guarded about it when usually, you’d tell me about your problems straight away, so it must be something embarrassing.” 

That… would be a fair assumption to make.” 

Her eyes widened as a revelation hit her, and suddenly she began to giggle, much to Neji’s annoyance. 

“Well?” 

“Neji-niisan,” she started, feeling slightly mischievous today — something she called her “Hanabi” mood — and ready to test and see if her theory was correct, “did something happen between you and Tenten-san?” 

The look he gave her was all she needed to know. She giggled slightly as Neji crossed his arms in irritation. 

“Looks like you’ll be too busy on your own dates to supervise mine, nii-san.” 

“It’s nothing like that!” Neji snapped, but Hinata was certain now that she could see a very subtle pink arise in his stoic face.

“Really? Because Tenten-san has been looking very happy recently.”

Neji looked like he was about to open his mouth and give a sharp retort before his eyes suddenly flicked to the side and he remained quiet.

“Neji-nii-san?” 

She couldn’t help giggling as he got up with a “hmph.” Shooting one last annoyed look at her, he stalked off from the training field into the woods, agitation clear even as he tried to walk with his usual dignity. 

“Oh come on! You have to admit that you haven’t been giving me that easy of a time recently!’ 

Still trying to keep from laughing, she ran off after him, but as soon as he entered the forest, he vanished in a puff of smoke indicative of the shunshin jutsu. 

In his place, a little piece of paper was left behind. 

Curiously — and slightly bewildered — she picked it up. There was writing on it. 

Purple writing.

“Like ramen broth, you warm my heart,” she read out loud curiously. “Ramen broth? What—” 

She looked around wildly on the spot before spotting another white piece. With a growing smile, she ran over to pick it up. 

“Kind and beautiful and oh so smart.” 

Deciding against activating her Byakugan, she continued in the general direction of the second note, and found another one a few trees away, her heart thumping wildly and she picked it up to read. 

“Kind and gentle, noodles can’t compare…” 

Running slightly, she kept going in that same direction to find the fourth note, which was near the edge of a small clearing. 

“With how much I need you, to me you’re like air.” 

Smiling brightly, she entered the clearing, a place surrounded by trees and flowers, with a picnic in the middle, and… 

“Hinata!”

Naruto nearly barrelled her over as he flung himself to her, hugging her tightly as she stumbled to keep her balanced. Without hesitation, she hugged him back, pressing her face against his shoulder and soaking in his warmth, before eventually breaking away and looking at him with joy. 

“What is this?” 

Grinning sheepishly, he scratched the back of his neck, chuckling in embarrassment. 

“Ah, well, I know we decided to meet up for lunch, but I couldn’t wait, ya know! I knew that even a few hours would be forever. So, I got Ayame-nee-chan to help me with getting an early picnic together and asked Neji to get you here, ya know, for your surprise!” 

“And the poetry?” 

“Oh, right, well, I asked Sakura for some advice, and they said that girls really like it when guys write songs or poetry for them, so I went to Ero-sennin for advice, ya know, since he’s a writer.” 

He was blushing slightly, and looked slightly nervous, but, beyond the way he happily jabbered on, he seemed incredibly relaxed as he led her towards the centre of the small clearing towards a simple picnic, complete with a small, comfortable looking blanket, a basket, and some bentos. He was holding her by the waist, and she simply melted into him, smiling contentedly as she listened to him speak, basking in his happiness and warmth.

“But! Ero-sennin is, well, a pervert, so while the poems that he helped me write seemed great, they weren’t, well, you know, ya know. So I had Sai help, cause he’s pretty artsy, ya know!” 

They settled down on the blanket, leaning against each other and looking up into the little bit of bright sky visible through the canopy of trees, the light filtering in gently through the leaves as the breeze brushed softly against their hair.

“How long did it take for you to organise this?” 

“Weeeeell, I was up since about 6 o’clock.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, but I still had to ask Neji to buy me some time and distract you while I put the poem together. Was probably a waste of time, though, ain’t got a poetic bone in my body, ya know.” 

“Well, it was beautiful,” she spoke in earnest as she sighed and closed her eyes, listening to the quiet twittering of the birds. 

“Really? You don’t think that the poem was bad and corny.” 

“Well, I didn’t say it wasn’t corny,” she said slowly, her tranquil smile twitching at the corners, “but I loved it. Thank you for all of this, this is amazing.” 

“Sai was the one who told me to include the ramen bits,” he explained as he slowly ran his fingers through her hair. 

“Mmm, good idea. It flatters me that you put me on the same level as ramen.” 

She opened her eyes to peek at him, a mischievous smile playing at her lips. He just laughed. 

“Trust me, I wouldn’t be up as early as 6 just to organise a trip to Ichiraku.” 

“Naruto-kun, I once saw you stay up all night and sit outside of Ichiraku that one time when Teuchi-san mentioned that he might be adding a new type of ramen.” 

“And he never did!” he lamented. “But that’s different! That was a special situation, ya know!” He grinned at her. “But with you, every date is special, ya know? You’re my girlfriend, so I’m gonna make you feel like every day's an anniversary!” 

Her heart felt as though it would explode. 

_He called me his girlfriend!_

“That’s unnecessary, Naruto-kun! I just.. I don’t need anything fancy. Your company is enough for me.”

“Well, if you say so!”

He pushed her away a bit, and as she sat upright to look at him, he gave her not his signature grin, but that soft, gentle smile reserved only for her, and lied down to place his head on her lap. Shifting slightly to get comfortably, he winked up at her before pointing at the picnic basket, then at his open mouth. 

Giggling at his behaviour, she rummaged inside of the basket for a while before pulling out some onigiri. 

Nodding in approval, Naruto then closed his eyes and opened his mouth wider. 

“Ahh…— AHH!” 

His eyes burst open as he scrambled up to his feet, his hands clutching at the edamame that she had stuck up his nose. 

Hinata, on her part, did her best to try not to roll around on the blanket as she fought to contain her laughter.

“That’s.. That’s!” Naruto exclaimed, trying to look at Hinata with anger but unable to fight back the goofy smile that had appeared on his face. “That’s not fair.” 

“All’s fair in love and war,” she managed out, still breathless with laughter as she put the onigiri down. 

“Is that so..?” 

Hinata shrieked as Naruto lunged down at her, falling over as he tried to tickle her.

But she would not give in so easily. 

With her bulky jacket acting as armour, she resisted his attack, launching a counter offensive by targeting his neck. Catching him by surprise, she pressed on, rolling over so that she was on top as she set about tickling the life out of him, but he was a tough nut to crack himself. Biting his lip as he tried his best not to laugh, he used his superior strength to roll them over again, grabbing her arms and trying to get to her again. They struggled for a bit, caught in a stalemate as they continuously rolled back and forth, off of the blanket and onto the grass, each giggling slightly as they tried to best the other, blades of grass getting on their hair as they wrestled in the grass. Eventually, though, Naruto’s restraint weakened, and, unable to defend against her nimble fingers, he quickly succumbed to hysterical laughter as he jerked and struggled underneath her. 

“Alright!” he yelled through his laughter, desperate to catch his breath as he weakly pushed against Hinata, “you win! You win!” 

Grinning, she got off of him, straightened her disheveled clothes and walked back to the blanket, which was now a considerable distance away and rather crumpled. She picked up the onigiri she had previously put on top of the basket and bit into it, looking victorious. 

Naruto, for his part, simply, lay still, watching her and smiling, his eyes filled with admiration. 

“I’ll, I’ll get you next time,” he promised. 

“Oh?” 

“I’ll… I’ll train, all day and all night. I will surpass you, I promise you that!” He got up, and walked over, still slightly breathless, to help her straighten up the blanket again. “I’ll master my tickling so much that it will be considered a new style of taijutsu!” 

“Oh? What will you call it?” 

He grinned at her. 

“The Gentle Fingers! The natural counter to the Gentle Fist! How are you supposed to close tenketsu if you’re too busy laughing to death? Pretty genius, ya know?” 

“I suppose. The name sounds slightly creepy but I can roll with it.” 

Smiling at one another, they sat back down, leaving the basket aside for the moment as they chose to quietly enjoy each other’s company instead. His hand gently stroked her hair, picking out the blades of grass stuck to it. With his head resting against hers, it was as though time had stopped, and they were all that existed in the world. She hummed slightly, and he carried her tune, leaning away from her momentarily to pick up a pale blue flower growing off to the side of the blanket and put it in her hair. 

It was perfect. 

Blushing slightly as she felt the flower adorning her hair, she looked up at him, her gratitude silent but clear, her smile subtle but full of happiness, her eyes shimmering with love that was mirrored in his own as they stared into each other's eyes, the distance closing as they leaned closer together. 

_So blue. So beautiful._

Her heart started pounding in her chest so hard that she swore that he could hear it, but all that she concentrated on was the blue depths of his eyes as they got closer and closer. 

_I must be dreaming,_ she thought happily. _If this is a dream, then I don’t ever want to wake up._

She could feel his hot breath against her lips as the distance between them shrank, their noses bumping against one another as he pressed his forehead against hers, his eyes fixed on her own. Her pale lavender eyes looked into his own, and saw an ocean of hope and opportunity, a sky filled with love and ambition. His eyes seemed to be a painting for his dreams, so bright and filled with will; they were eyes that were always looking forward to the future, to his dreams, eyes through which Naruto, without fail, could always see the truth, even more clearly than her own Byakugan. 

The clarity of his sight, and the simplicity, is something that she always admired. 

He closed his eyes and tried to tilt his head, to get into position, but she lightly placed a hand on his cheek, and he stilled, eyes opening again to look into her own as she studied them. Lost herself in the depths of them, as though she was flying through the infinite sky or swimming across the endless ocean, and nothing existed anymore save for his eyes. Eyes that she loved, that were always shimmering with excitement, with curiosity, eyes that gave her hope and comfort back in the Academy, when everything was hard, when her father was cruel to her and her mother was dead, and Neji hated her and nothing made sense. Eyes that blinked away the sadness and frustration and tears away, eyes that carried pain in them but still shined brightly, that looked past the bad and fixed on the good, that guided her like a beacon through the quagmire of war and death and misery that was shinobi life. 

_So blue, so beautiful._

_So fake._

She blinked, and pulled away, a chill running through her body, unease and tension gripping her stomach. 

_Wait, what?_

She saw Naruto looking at her in surprise, but she couldn’t bring herself to apologise or explain anything to him as the moment passed as abruptly as it had come. 

_Why?_

Hugging herself, she looked away from Naruto’s bright aside and stared down as the blanket, confused as she tried to piece together what had just happened. 

It made no sense, and, like a dream, she was already forgetting what had made her pull away, or what had made everything feel so wrong, but she couldn’t shake the feeling. 

“Hinata? Is everything okay?” 

She recoiled slightly at his touch as he reached to her, and backed away to the edge of the blanket as she watched the hurt play across his face from a distance. An enormous sense of guilt squeezed her heart as she looked back up to his face, but at the moment she was more concerned with why she had done that, rather than with consoling Naruto. 

_What just…?_

Nothing felt off about him at all. 

But… 

_His eyes…_

“I...I’m so sorry, Naruto-kun. I-I don’t know what came over me,” she apologised, slightly too stiffly. 

“Oh, it’s ugh, fine. Are you okay? Is something wrong?” The concern in his voice hurt her even more, because at the moment, she couldn’t help but look at him without distrust in her eyes. Unsure of why, she inched away slightly, sliding off of the blanket and onto the grass as she surveyed him carefully. 

“No… I’m just being silly… I’m really sorry… Naruto, I guess… I don’t know, I didn’t sleep much last night, so I guess I’m just being weird.” 

He looked at her cautiously, disbelief clear on his face. Forcing a smile, she slid back to his side, leaning over him to get to the basket. Careful to stay close to him but not actually touch him, she opened it up and pulled out an assortment of food that Ayame seemed to pack for them. 

“So! Tell me more about your Hokage training, Naruto-k… I trust that Kakashi-sensei hasn’t been making life too difficult for you?” 

That seemed to convince him. Accepting food from her, he went back to his usual, enthusiastic, talkative self, jabbering on about Kakashi and training and becoming Hokage, acting as though her random freak out had never happened. For her part, she steadily grew more comfortable, the feeling of horror that had randomly seized her when she had gazed into his eyes, but a part of her still felt uncomfortable, was still processing what exactly had happened to her at that moment.

After a couple of hours of just sitting there together, during which she more or less became comfortable enough to touch him again and go back to leaning against him, they packed up the picnic and strolled through the forest, taking the long way back to the village. The feeling was almost completely gone, and she felt relaxed enough to continue playfully joking around as he, at her insistence that she be home early today to get ready for dinner with her uncle, got him to escort her back to the compound. 

However, even while they peacefully observed the squirrels at the trees as they left the clearing, there was unease nagging at the back of her mind. Even as he picked several more beautiful flowers for her, she felt a slight tension in her guts. Even as they discussed his poetry and his earlier use of the Notes as they walked through the village gates, she couldn’t fight off the little thought growing in the sewers of her mind. 

Even now, at the gate of the Hyuuga compound, as Naruto looked expectancy, either for her customary hug or a kiss on the cheek, the most Hinata could do was smile at him and squeeze his hand slightly, averting her gaze from his eyes as she said her goodbye and turned to walk back to her house. 

She knew exactly what had made her so uneasy, but it made no sense to her. 

_His eyes…_

_There was no pain…_

That was the thought. That was what she had seen. Or rather, what she hadn’t seen. 

There was no pain in Naruto’s eyes. 

_But…_ she thought to herself in desperation as the feeling faded away, _why would there be pain?_

_The world is perfect._

_Pain doesn’t exist. Naruto has always been happy._

_So why?_

Frustrated, she announced her arrival as she walked through the sliding doors of her house and took off her shoes.

“Ah, welcome back, Hinata!” her mother’s voice called out. “How was your date?” 

“Ah, excellent!” she called back, slightly too quickly and too enthusiastically. “It was amazing!” 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t take too long to come back. Wouldn’t want you to be late for our dinner with your uncle.”

“Mother, it’s only 2 o’clock.”

“Yes, well, something came up, and your father and uncle have to meet with the Hokage around dinner time, so we will be having a sort of early dinner or late lunch instead.” 

“Oh, okay,” she said absentmindedly, then noticed something as she got up. “Mother, is Hanabi out? Her sandals aren’t here.” 

“Hanabi?” 

“Well, if we’re having an early dinner, then shouldn’t Hanabi be home right now?” 

She finally took a look at her mother and saw the look of utter confusion on her face. 

“Hinata dear, who is Hanabi?”

A faint ringing started in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, hope this chapter came out well! It was originally way longer, but I scrapped a lot of stuff. I think it's better off as it is now, but since I did cut out some paragraphs here and there, the pacing might have taken a hit. Did this chapter feel too rushed? Let me know! 
> 
> Happy birthday, Naruto!


	19. Within the Angel's Heart, Part 2 (Fourth Shinobi War)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has definitely been the hardest chapter I have had to write so far, particularly because I had a very specific idea and a very specific style that I wanted to use and convey, but to pull that off successfully I'd have to make it its own story, which I just don't have the time or energy to do. So here you are! Just letting you know, if it's weird, it's meant to be that way. 
> 
> Also, time flows differently and inconsistently in the Infinite Tsukuyomi here, simply because, if it's your dream, it's not going to go at a constant rate. 
> 
> Enjoy~

_Kaguya’s chakra…_

No, he couldn’t get distracted. Not now, not with everything on the line. 

_Everyone’s… She’s absorbing everyones…!_

No, he couldn’t get caught up in emotion. He had to buy Sakura and Obito time to find Sasuke. 

_But… their chakra… I can…._

No! It didn’t matter that with his Six Paths Sage Mode, he could pick out the individual chakra signatures that had been absorbed and were now being assimilated by the Ootsutsuki. It didn’t matter that he was immediately drawn to those signatures that he was already so familiar with, that he had already bonded with. He had to keep fighting!

_Shikamaru… Lee.. Bee-ochan...._

He had to keep going, no matter how overwhelming it was. 

With every clone that went down, he received a full blast of their memories, their left over chakra, and… 

He had to clear his head. He had to ignore the fact… 

The fact that _her_ chakra was being used to fight him. 

Why did that bother him so much? 

There were innumerable individual signatures swirling within her, with the thousands of shinobi chakras burning like candles, along with the thousands of other chakra-users. 

So was he being drawn to _that_ particular signature? 

That particular pulse? 

In an ocean of screams, the steady pulse that beat with calm and with purpose drew him in, called out to him. It wasn’t a reprise of her early cry for help; rather, it was a quiet cheer that had been going on nonstop since the beginning, since the God Tree assimilated them, since they started having the chakra steady sucked out of them. 

She calmed him down. It was an effect that he had only felt before with the Notes. Somehow, she could make him feel the same warmth and rush of strength he had felt when he had been with his mother. Yet it was still unique. 

She wasn’t as fiery as his mother, but there was much of the same, underlying gentleness and strong love. Love for everyone. 

Her chakra was now being used to kill him. That gentle chakra was now being used to channel hatred, was being corrupted, perverted. 

He had no idea what it would be like to be under the Infinite Tsukuyomi, nor what the consequences of having the God Tree and Kaguya sucking out your chakra while under that genjutsu. But he knew one thing. 

“You’re going the fuck down!” he roared as he charged at Kaguya, a hundred Six Paths enhanced clones flying behind him.   
______________________________________________________________________________

“Hinata! Breakfast is ready!” 

Hinata tried to snuggle deeper under her pillows, the voice of mother sounding distant and murky. She felt so tired, as though every bone in her body had been removed and she was just a pile of sore skin and muscle, and she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. 

“Hinata!” 

Groaning, Hinata tried to sit up. Her head was pounding, and even the act of lifting her head off of her pillow felt like it took a titanic amount of effort. 

She was so sleepy. So drowsy. 

Blinking rapidly, she rubbed her temples as she tried to gain her bearing. While fighting to keep awake, a part of her was also fighting to hold on to the last vestiges of a dream. An unpleasant one, it seemed, yet somehow, a part of her didn’t want to let it go. It was almost as though… 

It didn’t matter. She couldn’t remember. 

A ringing. There was a ringing in her head. A ringing that had been bothering her for the past week. A result of her dream or simply from her inability to properly fall asleep last night, she couldn’t tell. But it was rattling her head and keeping her from trying to get up. 

Still, she had to get up. 

Groggily, she parted the curtain and peered through the window. It looked to be a grey and grim morning, and what seemed to be storm clouds were gathering in the sky. 

Yawning, she stood up, her eyes immediately drawn to the bouquet that stood in the corner. It’s sweet aroma wafted around the room, the beautiful mixture of colours looking so perfect they might have been made by an artist. 

Yet despite the feeling of giddiness that arose in her at the sight of the flowers, she couldn’t help but frown slightly. 

She looked at her bedside table. 

A note from Naruto, written in messy, orange scrawl, next to a pale yellow petal. 

Her frown grew deeper. 

After quickly putting on something comfortable for the day, she stepped out of her room and walked towards the kitchen, guided by the delicious smell of her mother’s cooking. On her way, she looked out of a window in the hall, out to the clan gardens. Instead of seeing the usual crowd of Hyuuga walking around, meditating the gardens, practicing their taijutsu or tended to the plants, it was completely empty, save for one of the elders who looked to be asleep by the pond. 

The frogs were silent. 

_The storm must be soon then._

“Goodmorning, Hinata!” her mother called cheerfully as soon as she entered. 

Hinata gave her a smile, and was about to reciprocate, but then the ringing in her head momentarily peaked in intensity, and her knees buckled as she clutched her head in agony, letting out a soft cry of surprise.

“Hinata? Are you okay?” 

She nodded, forcing a smile as she looked back up at her mother, who still had a cheerful smile on, though with her eyebrow raised. 

“It was nothing, just a… just a small headache, that’s all,” she reassured her mother. 

It had been a momentary, very abrupt increase in volume. The ringing was much quieter now.

“You’ve had a headache all week. I think that your thoughts about Naruto-kun’s been keeping you up way too much lately!” her mother teased, turning back the stove as she prepared eggs.   
“Mind you, you _have_ been acting odd lately… just yesterday you kept crying and running around and asking about some… woman?” 

Blinking hard, Hinata tried to remember what her mother was talking about, but aside from the exciting knowledge that she had had a picnic with her Naruto and that they had lunch with her uncle, yesterday seemed like a year ago. Everything seemed so hazy to her. 

“I … was I?” 

“Why yes,” her mother said, laughing slightly. “You were convinced that we had a Fifth Hokage, I think? You kept saying… Godaime-sama or… something? You were acting very strange anyways, are you sure you and Naruto-kun didn’t… you know… do _that_ kind of stuff?”

“We didn’t take any drugs, if that’s what you’re implying,” Hinata said crossly, wincing as the ringing grew stronger in her head. “Anyways, I don’t really remember doing anything like that. Godaime-sama, you say?” 

“Yes, you’ve been doing this stuff all week. First it was with that… Hanaki? Hanafi? Whatever name you were shouting out at your uncle’s home. Then you were talking about some… Iruka person was it?” 

“I…. I really don’t understand what’s going on. I guess I haven’t been sleeping properly…”

It was perplexing, and her brain seemed to have sensed that because the ringing appeared as though it reached a crescendo. It only dropped when her father stepped into the kitchen, taking a moment to smile at his wife and his her on the cheek before turning to his only daughter, smiling but with a raised eyebrow as though undecided as to how to approach her. She had been acting odd for a week, after all. 

“So, any plans for today, Hinata honey?” her mother asked, bringing a tray and placing it in front of her husband. 

“Oh…. I might go visit Kurenai-sensei,” Hinata answered, staring down at the wood. 

“Hmm, I would have expected you to go out with Naruto again,” Hiashi stated, the trace of a smile on his face. 

“Oh, I…” _feel odd_ ”feel like I have been neglecting my sensei and team a bit since I started going out with Naruto-kun. I just want to catch up with them.” 

“Well then, make sure to say hello to Kurenai-san and Asuma-san san from me,” her mother said, still smiling brightly as she returned to the table with another tray for Hinata, ignoring how strange her daughter was acting. 

The ringing was driving her insane. And, for whatever reason, her mother’s smile…

_Her smile…_

It sickened Hinata.   
______________________________________________________________________________

It seemed that Hinata wasn’t the only member of Team 8 who decided that tea with Kurenai that morning sounded like a good idea. As it was, upon her arrival at her sensei’s home, she found herself at Kurenai’s breakfast table, seated opposite Kiba and Shino while Kurenai and Asuma’s daughter cooed and giggled in the background, playing with Akamaru. 

As Asuma was out with Team 10 — doubtlessly having barbecue on Chouji’s behest — it was the perfect opportunity to have a Team 8 reunion. 

“So, Hinata, it seems like you’ve been very busy,” Kurenai teased, bringing over a tray. 

“Yes, it would seem so. The reason is because we haven’t seen you much recently without the presence of Naruto,” Shino said, adjusting his sunglasses in a way that Hinata knew from experience signified that he was slightly offended. 

Hinata sheepishly took a long sip of her tea.

“Yeah,” Kiba added, trying to scowl but in reality struggling to fight off his grin, “if I didn’t know better, I would have thought that the two of you were on your honeymoon.” Ignoring the way Hinata blushed, Kiba turned to look at their sensei, “even Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei were so much more secretive, even though we all knew what was going on.” 

“That…!” Kurenai tried protesting, but was quickly cut off by Shino. 

“That is true, though, in many ways, their relationship made me wonder how qualified a jounin had to be, as their stealth and secretism fell apart instantly.” 

“Even civilians figured it out,” Hinata chimes in, smiling at Kurenai. 

“Hey,” Kurenai scolded, but she laughed fairly jovially. “At least Asuma and I tried. You and Naruto are making no attempts to even reign yourselves in.” 

“We’re not... that open… are we?” 

“Well, you’re not rolling around with each other in the streets if 

Hinata smiled. Her team always made her feel so happy. In their presence, the ringing had almost completely died down. 

“But seriously though, how’s the dating life been?” Kiba suddenly asked, turning and leaning towards her, playfully grinning. “Give us all the hot goss!” 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Ino and Team 10,” Kurenai quietly commented. 

“Well, it’s been wonderful,” Hinata, blushing yet again. “He’s been the perfect gentleman, very romantic. Yes, I know,” she said, looking around at everyone’s incredulous looks, “I was surprised too. But he’s amazing at it. We went to the waterfalls yesterday, and a few days ago, we had a picnic in the fields. He even wrote me poetry.” 

They all looked at her with awe as she giggled. 

“Naruto? Poetry?” Kiba exclaimed incredulously. “Man, next thing you’ll say is that Chouji’s become a vegetarian.” 

“How nice,” Kurenai said, lightly slapping Kiba’s shoulder. “I suppose he got practice from all of the Messages that the two of you write to each other.” 

“The Messages,” Kiba snickered, “couldn’t have thought of a more creative thing to call your love letters? The Word Smooches? The Paper Passions, maybe? 

Hinata couldn’t help but find that slightly offensive. She tried to give Kiba a mock glare while straightening her back, trying to look imposing. She was failing at that, she knew that much, but that was somewhat the point.

“I don’t see anything wrong with naming something after what it actually is,” she said, while casting a very exaggerated glance towards the living room, where Akamaru was playing with Kurenai’s daughter. 

“Ouch, you’ve hit me where it hurts most, my ninken partner’s name!” Kiba cried, raising a hand to his heart. “I knew it, I should have asked my mother for one whose name corresponded with his fur colour!” 

“The poetry does seem slightly out of character,” Shino mused, interrupting the laughter from the other three. “The reason is because that simply doesn’t seem like it would fit Naruto’s style of romance.” 

“That’s…. That’s not true,” Hinata said, stifling her giggles and picking up her cup of tea to calm down.. “He’s been nothing but consistently romantic for our entire relationship.”

“Yeah, and how would you know what Naruto’s style of romance is?” Kiba asked, raising an eyebrow. “Damn, here we were, thinking that you were part of Team Naruhina—”

“— Team what?” Hinata almost choked on her tea. 

“— And here you were, getting busy with the target behind our backs!”

Shino glared at Kiba. Well, from an outsider’s perspective, the most it would have looked like is Shino turning in his chair to look at Kiba, but they had been Team 8 for long enough that they could read him like an open book. 

“What I meant to say,” Shino explained carefully, “is that Naruto seems to be acting a little odd. The bouquets, the poetry, that guitar solo he performed a week ago by your window —” 

“— Yeah , I was surprised that Naruto even knew what a guitar was,” Kiba added. 

“— it just seems a bit too… perfect.” 

Hinata looked from one of her teammates’ face to the other. _Too perfect? What does that mean, too perfect?_

They then heard the sound of the door opening. 

“Ah, that must be Asuma!” Kurenai exclaimed happily, and she rose as her daughter started babbling loudly and happily. 

As Asuma swept his daughter up and greeted his wife with a kiss, Hinata watched from the kitchen, smiling, though she couldn’t get her teammate’s comments out of her mind. 

_Too perfect? Naruto’s too perfect?_

_Everything is too perfect?_

“Hey, Team 8!” Asuma called over, looking over at them from around Kurenai. “Long time no see!” 

Even as she called back a greeting, something felt off to her. She stared as Asuma whispered something into Kurenai’s ear, causing her to giggle, then raised their daughter high into the air, laughing along with the little child, who was shrieking in joy. 

It was the perfect scene. 

The ringing in her head, which had faded into nothingness while she talked with her team, exploded. 

“Hinata?” Shino asked concernedly, rising halfway from his seat to help her as Hinata gasped in pain, clutching her head as she leaned forward. 

“Please, excuse me,” she muttered, waving away Shino and Kiba. Rushing to the bathroom, she locked the door behind her as she collapsed against the sink, desperately trying to steady herself even as her head screamed. 

_What is going?_

_What is wrong?_

_What is happening to me?_   
______________________________________________________________________________

He summoned as many clones as he could. With Sakura and Obito busy searching for Sasuke, he had to give it everything he had to hold Kaguya back. 

He wasn’t strong enough, but he had no choice. 

And yet, within the endless sea of chakra within Kaguya, _hers_ seemed to latch on to him. 

Like an arm reaching to be rescued, it reached out.

So he did what his instincts told him to do. 

He grabbed onto it.   
______________________________________________________________________________

After a few moments of fighting back against the ringing, she was ready to step back out of the bathroom. She was simply going to have to excuse herself and go straight to the hospital and see what they could do about whatever was agonizing her head. 

“Thank you for having me, Kurenai-sensei, but I should be going now,” she said, trying to keep a straight face as she approached Kurenai, who was carrying around her daughter.

“Oh, okay then. It was nice to have both you and Kiba over for tea again,” Kurenai replied, smiling as she looked over at Kiba, who had been in mid-conversation with Asuma. 

“You’re leaving? Already?” Kiba asked. “Going off to see Naruto again, huh?” 

“I have a life outside of my boyfriend, you know.” Hinata had to almost whisper that last part for the pain. 

Then she realised something. 

“Kurenai-sensei, did Shino already leave?” 

“Shino?” her sensei asked, her face breaking into a perplexed frown. “Who is that?” 

______________________________________________________________________________

In the midst of his swap with a clone in order to fool Kaguya, he noticed the signature swirl of the Kamui. Seeing Sakura and Obito arrive with Sasuke in tow, he grinned. 

He could relax somewhat now, and make up for all the energy he’s lost.

His chakra tightened its hold on _her_ signature, making it more defined. He basked in its comfort and tried to project as much reassurance as he could into it, unsure of what that would do considering it was merely the chakra of one under the Infinite Tsukuyomi that has been absorbed and assimilated into someone different.

_It’s okay, Hinata! We’re definitely… definitely gonna save you!_   
______________________________________________________

“I…” Somehow, the name that she had just asked for slipped her mind as the noise in her head growed louder than ever. Her knees buckling slightly, she grabbed onto the table for extra support, trying to look as natural as possible. 

Through the pounding, she looked over the room. Nothing seemed out of place; the table only had cups for her, Kurenai, Kiba, and a new one for Asuma, who was peering at her peculiarly. 

“I… don’t know,” she admitted, growing more unsure of what her question even was. 

_What was I asking her about?_

“Well, uh, goodbye, Kurenai-sensei, Asuma-sensei! Bye, Kiba-kun, Akamaru!” he called out, a little louder than she would have preferred to as a sudden outburst of noise in her head caused her to close her eyes in pain. 

She heard a bark from the other room where Akamaru was, and a farewell from Asuma, but when she opened her eyes, she noticed that Kurenai was staring at her in disbelief. 

“Hinata, dear,” Kurenai said, very slowly, “my daughter’s name isn’t Kiba.”

Hinata blinked. 

“No, it’s not, I was just saying goodbye to….” 

Who? 

She stared at the space to the right of Asuma, who was also starting to give her a funny look. There was no one else there in the room. There were only teacups set out for her, Kurenai and Asuma on the table. 

“Hinata?” Kurenai tried again. 

“I… but… “ She clutched her head in frustration, which was not mixing well with her headache. She wanted nothing more than to simply scream from the pain. The ringing seemed to be getting so loud that her head felt like it was going to rip. “Nevermind. I… uh, I think my head’s been hurting a bit, so I might just go home,” she said quickly, bowing to her sensei and rushing out of the house before Kurenai could say anything. 

She didn’t go home. Holding her head, with tears forming from the pain, she ran to the hospital, hoping that Sakura or some other doctor was there with some answers. She briefly looked up during her charge, and saw the Hokage Monument. 

Senju Hashirama. Senju Tobirama. Sarutobi Hiruzen. 

And finally, Minato Namikaze, the current hokage. 

Her head screamed. 

Crying out in pain, she dropped to her knees in the middle of the street, half-sobbing. The ringing felt like it was now causing her head to physically vibrate, and she physically couldn’t handle it. 

_What is… why is…_

_Why is it that everything I see looks so wrong?_

Passerbys stopped as they turned to look and watch Hinata in confusion as she did her best not to scream in frustration at the sharp pain that was threatening to cause her head to melt. She could barely hear the mutterings or the little girl’s “what is the weird lady doing?” for how the ringing — no, _screaming_ was consuming her mind. 

_What do I… what do I do?_

“Hinata!” 

That strong voice, that voice which could inspire hope and joy from so many people with ease, penetrated through the cacophony of torture in her mind. A big hand, warm and firm, was felt on her shoulder, and the soothing quality of that simple contact seemed to radiate through her entire body. 

The ringing quietened down to a mild throbbing in an instant. Quieter, and with less frequency. Less like a continuous, irritating noise and more like a series of pulses.

She gasped, falling forward onto her hands from the shock of having the ringing disappear so suddenly. Quickly swiping her eyes, she turned to look questioningly at the figure that was crouching behind her, hand smoothly rubbing her shoulder, and met his warm, oceanic blue eyes. Strangely, though the sight of them made her feel that much calmer, she didn’t feel anything different, a straight contrast to before. When simple eye contact between their two, pained souls felt like they were connecting for the first time ever. Every time she had met those eyes, she had always been filled with such a powerful sense of safety and joy, a feeling that she only started associating with her love for him since… 

Since… 

A part of her wanted to frown. She knew that she had only realised that what she truly felt for Naruto was love at the same time that she had confessed to him, but… 

When had she confessed to him? 

“N-Naruto...kun,” she whispered, eyes drifting away from his eyes to avoid the confusion she felt at her lack of a reaction. The longer she looked into his eyes, the more the dulled pulsations in her head seemed to grow louder.

What seemed curious was that the ringing started…. Slowing down. 

“Hinata,” he replied, equally as breathless, equally as confused. “Are you alright?” 

“Ye..yes. I just have had this massive headache today. Could you take me to the hospital? Maybe to Sakura-chan?” 

Naruto nodded, and, without further delay, scooped her up, carrying her princess-style and cradling her head close to his chest as he ran off towards the hospital. He held her in a way that she could barely feel the fact that she was moving, which she appreciated, and she pressed her ear against his chest. 

His heart beat. 

The steady rhythm of that which belonged to her and her alone. 

The sound of the beating passed through his skin, through his clothes, and she felt it resonate within her head. 

She smiled in satisfaction. Closing her eyes, she sighed and snuggled closer to him, taking in as much of that sound as she could. As they travelled through the village as quickly as Naruto could without jostling her too much, she began to notice the pounding in her head less and less. All there was was the sound of his heartbeat. 

Her eyes flew open, and she struggled against his hold, making him stop and watch with concern at the way she practically jumped out of his arms, backing away from him and staring at him as though he had just tried to stab her. 

“Hinata? What are—”

“What is this?” she demanded, eyes wide. The noise in her head had come back as though she had jerked her head away from his chest, and was gradually speeding up to the point where the beating sensation merged into a ringing again. 

“What is what?” 

Naruto approached her cautiously, like one who was trying to calm a crazed beast, but she merely backed away, staring at him as though she was seeing him for the first time ever. Her hunched over stance, her trembling lips, the way she was backing away towards a wall and flinching at every movement Naruto made were reminiscent of a cornered animal, watching out for a prey. 

“Don’t follow me!” she yelled as she suddenly leapt to her left, running away as fast as she could while ignoring the way her head was screaming. 

“Hinata!” 

“Stay away!” 

Blindly, Hinata charged down the street, knocking past civilians and crashing into food carts as she tried to put some distance between herself and Naruto, her head spinning. She couldn’t explain the fear that had suddenly consumed her back then, but all that she understood was that something was wrong. 

Something was horribly wrong. 

_This is… this is all because I haven’t been able to sleep very well, that’s all. I’m just having delusions,_ she thought as she tried to make her way to the hospital. _I’m just imagining people who have never existed, and getting panic attacks from random things!_

She tripped, and fell to the ground in a heap. Groaning, she pushed herself up with her arms, only to see someone in front of her kneel down and offer her a hand. 

“Sorry, you need some help?” 

She looked up at the stranger, and let out a strangled scream. 

Confused, the orange haired, purple eyed man backed away, the hand he had just offered going to clutch the front of his red and black cloak. Ignoring his hurt look, Hinata scrambled up, stumbling away as her head threatened to crack open in a million pieces. She didn’t know why, but the sight of that man had triggered some sort of panic attack within her, and on top of the pain she felt in her head, the sensation of cool, rough metal sliding through her chest flooded her senses, her sight momentarily getting dominated by red. 

She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs felt as though they had been crushed. 

It made no sense. 

Everyone stared, none seemingly willing to offer her a hand as she, panting and groaning, made her way through them, the top of the hospital just in view ahead of her. 

_Sakura-cha… Sakuan-chan can help me… she can—!_

She crashed into a solid something, her eyes involuntarily closing as the thing caught her in their hands. 

Their hands felt cold. 

“Oh, it’s you,” a voice above her spoke. Their voice was cold too. 

Gasping, she backed away, staring into the cold eyes of Uchiha Sasuke, dressed in the classic jounin flak jacket, his Konoha hitai-ate sitting proudly on her forehead. 

“Sa...suke...kun,” she whispered, fear inadvertently flooding her pale eyes. “Wh...what are you doing… here?” 

“Just came back from a date with Sakura.” He shrugged, though he looked quite smug about it. “What, aren’t you constantly on one with the loser?” 

“He’s not—!” 

“What are you doing here, in a rush?” 

Hinata paused, unsure of how to move forward. She could feel herself shrink away from him even as her head felt like it was getting hit by a hammer ten times every second. From the inside. 

“I… need to see Sakura.” 

“Well, she’s back in the hospital. Don’t let me keep you waiting,” Sasuke said, shrugging again and brushing past her with an air of indifference. 

Shuddering, she continued her mad rush into the doors of the hospital, completely ignoring the nurses at the front desk who yelled to stop, clapping her hands to her ears in order to keep her head from shattering to pieces on her. Her legs took her directly to where she knew Sakura was, and before she knew it, she was slamming open the door to Sakura’s office, catching the medic, who was writing on some papers, completely by surprise. Papers flew in every directly, as Hinata launched herself onto Sakura, hugging the woman as tightly as she could while sobbing. 

“Ah, Hinata! Slow down!” Sakura pleaded, trying to hug Hinata back as gently as she could after listening to a minute of Hinata’s rapid babbling. 

But Hinata didn’t. Instead, she buried her face into Sakura's shoulder, and gripped her friend hard. Giving up, Sakura patted her on the head, and tried to return her embrace as much as she could. 

“Sakura-chan... “ Hinata whispered after about five minutes of trying to calm down. She noticed that the ringing had subsided significantly. “Sakura-chan, my head’s killing me. It’s been hurting all week, but today….” 

Nodding, Sakura, gently extracted herself from Hinata’s hold and directed the Hyuuga to take a seat at the chair opposite her desk. Waving away the nurses that had appeared at her door in order to extract the intruder, Sakura gave Hinata the most reassuring smile she could as she placed a hand on her head, which began to glow with a soft, turquoise colour. 

“Well, your temperature and your head seem just fine,” Sakura muttered after a while, moving the hand from Hinata’s forehead to the top of her head, then to her temple. “Hmm, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong.” 

“No!” Hinata called out, startling Sakura as she jumped up from her chair. “There… there has to be something wrong! I can’t sleep, I’ve been having nightmares, and this headache has been killing me! And I’ve also been… also I…” 

Sakura indicated for her to keep going, but Hinata suddenly felt all of her conviction fly out the window at the prospect of sharing her odd… delusions. 

_Why do I feel like this?_

_Where did my confidence go?_

“Hinata, I can’t actually help you unless you explain to me what’s wrong.” 

She nodded, but something kept her from opening her mouth. 

Bashfulness? She had never been bashful. She had always been so strong and confident and open about everything… 

“I…. I….” 

The door slammed open. 

“Hinata!” 

She froze at the voice, and Sakura, incredibly irritably, yelled, “Naruto! I’m busy here!” 

But Naruto ignored his teammate, and ran straight to Hinata, grabbed both of her shoulders and crouched down to make eye contact. 

_No._

She looked away. His mouth seemed to be moving, but she couldn’t discern exactly what he was saying. The pounding in her head, at his sudden proximity, became slower, louder, yet somehow less painful. As though, instead of a hammer in her head, it was a voice, begging to be heard. 

It sounded like it was calling her name, but that may just have been Naruto, trying to get her attention, trying to make her tell him what was going on, and why she had run off so suddenly.

Her sight was fixed on his chest, where his heart was. Though through the noise, she couldn’t exactly make out what her boy… what Naruto was saying, it didn’t change the fact that it was happening again. His words, just like his heartbeat….

“Naruto,” she said suddenly, catching him by surprise. “I… please, I just need to talk to Sakura-chan for a moment.” 

Naruto’s hurt expression morphed into that of absolute puzzlement. He let go of her shoulders and leaned back, surveying her, but not moving. 

“Hinata? What is happening?” he asked again.

And Hinata repeated herself, only to love conviction as she hit Sakura’s name. 

Was that right? Was that who she needed to see. 

Naruto shook his head, and he stepped back towards the door, revealing that the two of them… 

...were alone? 

“Is Sakura a doctor?” he asked, concern clouding the face and eyes that usually shone with so much joy and bubbly energy. “Alright, I… I won’t bother you now. I’ll go call for your doctor.” 

And though Hinata, for the life of her, wanted to call out “But I already have a doctor,” now that she looked back at the chair opposite her, she couldn’t seem to remember who that doctor was. 

_I’m…_

_I’m losing my mind._

Naruto walked into the hall, yelling for “Sakura” or just for any doctor in general. The farther his voice got, the less her head seemed to scream. Yet her heart rate accelerated. Her breathing became shallower. For some reason, she did not want other doctors examining her, not with Naruto pacing around in the background, worrying over her with those strange eyes. Eyes that calmed her down, but that felt as though they weren’t what she was expecting. 

She couldn’t read them. She couldn’t see what his true feelings and thoughts were through eye contact alone, had to discern his emotions from his entire face, his stance. And though they had just started dating so recently, something about that idea, the idea that she couldn’t understand him from just those wonderfully blue eyes, felt so wrong to her. 

It was like when they 

Maybe she should just try and go sleep and see if this isn’t a dream. 

Some bad nightmare. 

When she deemed that Naruto’s voice was far away, she fled.   
______________________________________________________________________________

“Hinata, dear, welcome home!” 

Both of her parents greeted her from their seated position on the engawa, but Hinata blew straight past them, flying through the sliding front doors, flying through the hallway, flying into her room and crashing straight into her bed. She didn’t bother changing, or looking at her surroundings. She didn’t even bother removing her footwear. 

Hinata buried her head in her pillow, begging for sleep to take her, for the dream to end, to reveal that this is a figment of her imagination, that there was no sound in her head, no mysterious people vanishing only for no one to remember their existence, no more feeling so wrong when living her life. Her parents were unlikely to come into her room, and Naruto wouldn’t be so brash as to storm into her house — a thought which brought about a burst of pain in her mind — and so she would be able to sleep, sleep it all away, without any distractions. 

She lifted her head to spare a glance around her room. Her eyes went straight past the enumerable photos on the walls and zeroed in on the bouquet Naruto had given her. The rainbow of colours was still there, still there since God knows how long, still giving off their sweet fragrance, still looking as healthy and as fresh and as beautiful as it had always been. 

Her gaze then turned to her bedside table. The note was still there, presumably still with its orange writing, and so was the lily petal. 

The petal was completely wilted now. 

Hinata frowned. 

And a crash of thunder rolled through the sky, even darker and greyer than it had been in the morning.   
______________________________________________________________________________

There was no mistake about it. She was insane. She was as sure of it as she was unsure of her own name. 

When she had woken up the morning after her disastrous hospital visit, she had discovered that the ringing was still there. 

She refused to leave her room. 

Like that, she stayed shut in, locked away from the world as she spent the day looking over the photos on her wall, sleeping, or staring out of her window. She spent the day after in much the same way. And the day after that. And the day after that. 

She had lost count after a week. 

Her mother would happily walk in and bring her her meals a few times a day, meals that Hinata would only eat absentmindedly as she stubbornly waited for the ringing to stop. Yet every time she looked up at her mother, Hinata’s head seemed to want to split open, making her ask her mother to leave quickly. Her mother would do so without protest every time, continuously smiling that sickening smile at every turn. 

People were asking for her. That’s what her mother told her during every visit. Hinata ignored that. 

The ringing stayed in the back recesses of her mind, keeping her from sleeping but drawing her back whenever she woke up. She had nightmares every time she slept that she would promptly forget upon waking up but would still be shaking from. The ringing seemed to always be at its least painful immediately after leaving the realm of dreams and nightmares. 

The ringing, which was slowly becoming more distinct. It almost felt like a rhythm, not a senseless, meaningless sound smashing its way through her fragile brain. More like a song. 

The bouquet remained in its pristine glory. Its aroma was stronger than ever, covering her in a blanket of comfort that seemed to make time fly by faster. The flowers remained as vibrant as ever, a complete contrast to the sky which only seemed to grow darker. There was always thunder, but never any lightning or rain. 

The only thing which gave away the fact that a significant period of time was passing by was the petal on her bedside table, which had been shrinking and disintegrating as the night passed by. Today, as Hinata continued her carefully structured regime of staring blankly at her bouquet, the petal was practically a pile of dust, a shrivelled and dried petal that was crumbling across the Message from Naruto. 

“Hinata! Breakfast is ready!” 

As usual, her mother’s distant voice was heard through the thin walls of her room, but Hinata didn’t move. After a few minutes or so, her mother would come in bearing a tray of food and her smile anyways. So instead, Hinata focused on continuing to stare at the bright flowers in the corner of her room, intoxicated by its smell to the point where the ringing could be marginally ignored. 

Marginally. 

The sound of her mother’s footsteps approaching her door made her close her eyes, getting ready to avoid making eye contact. 

She didn’t want the ringing to bother her anymore. She couldn’t bear it. 

“Hinata? I’m coming in, dear,” her mother’s muffled voice was heard through the door. 

Hinata took a deep breath. It was just breakfast. Nothing to worry about. 

Nothing that should cause too big of a reaction. 

“Come in,” she said hoarsely, maybe too quietly, but her mother must have heard (or at least got tired of waiting), and the sound of the doorknob slowly being turned was heard. 

_Right, breakfast. No big reaction._

She braced herself, tensing up and grabbing her head in her hands. 

Her mind exploded.

_”Rikidou! Chibaku Tensei!”_

A massive burst of thunder rocked the sky, sounding as though a paper bomb had exploded right next to her ear, making her gasp and fall off her bed. The ground shook with so much ferocity that she could feel herself shaking along with the floor. The bed rattled; her bedside table and desk and chair rattled; the Message from Naruto slid to the ground; some photos slipped off of the walls; and the vase holding her beloved bouquet crashed to the floor, shattering into a billion pieces and spilling water everywhere. 

Outside of her door, it sounded as though something had been dropped and shattered as well, and Hinata could distinctly overhead her mother’s “oh no!” 

As suddenly as it started, the earthquake stopped. The walls stopped shaking, and the ground below her stilled. Yet Hinata stayed there, frozen on all fours, eyes set on one of the fallen red flowers lying upon the puddle on the ground. But despite her suspended movement, she felt more awake than ever before. 

The ringing was gone. 

_It’s… over._

The agony in her head was over. 

Jumping up from her position, she hurried over to the window to gaze up at the now magically clear sky. Her heart swelled, and tears of relief formed in her eyes as she let out a triumphant yell. Leaping across to the door, she slammed it open and came straight upon her mother, getting up from picking up the shattered pieces of what used to be Hinata’s breakfast, and hugged her. 

“Hinata?” her mother asked, clearly surprised as the tray she had been using to clear up the debris clattered to the floor once more. 

Hinata didn’t reply, only hugging her tighter while the tears of relief flowed down her face. She couldn’t help but feel like this very situation had happened before though, only in a different context. 

Whatever. That didn’t matter now. The sky was clear and so was her head. 

She didn’t have a thing to worry about anymore. 

Pushing away from her mother, she gave the woman a bright smile before charging down the hall to the kitchen, where her father would be. Overwhelmed with emotion, she didn’t think anything through; her only intention was to charge and tackle the man with the biggest hug she had ever given the man, after which she would track down Naruto — no, her _boyfriend_ — and hug that guy to death. Maybe this time, she would actually be able to meet his eye and see the one she loved — and not something who looked and sounded like him, as it had felt since the ringing had started. 

“Papa, watch out!” she cried out playfully, fully intending to reenact a scene from her happy, laughter filled childhood. 

She stopped dead in her tracks. 

The kitchen was empty. There was no stoic Hyuuga Hiashi sitting at the table, quietly eating his wife’s delicious cooking. The table wasn’t even set, looking like no one had sat there for a very long time. 

“O-Otou-sama?” she called out with uncertainty, her smile fading just a bit as she peered further down the hall to where she knew her parents’ bedroom was. 

“Who are you calling, dearie?” her mother asked, waking up slowly from behind her. “Hinata, what is going on?” 

“Where is Otou-sama?” Hinata asked, turning to her mother with panic welling up in her eyes. It was just like how it was before. “Okaa-sama, where is he?” 

A horrible feeling rose from the pit of her stomach, a feeling of deja vu multiplied by the feeling of horror and hopeless. It wasn’t just the disappearance, it was the way people around her seemed to stare at her as though she had sprouted an additional head. 

“I… Hinata, your father? He’s been gone for years.” 

“N-no…” 

“Hinata, are you—” 

“N-no!” 

No 

No 

_No!_

She ran away, jerking her arm out of her mother’s hand, which had gone to grab her, and ran back into her room, back into solitude. Slamming the door shut behind her, she locked it, and slid down, putting her face in her hands in desperation. She wanted to scream; the ringing was gone, yet the insanity prevailed. It hadn’t gone away with sleep, nor with the end of the ringing. It was almost as though…

_Am I… erasing people from existence?_

It was a ridiculous thought to be sure, but it was something she had continuously revisited during her entire time shut in her room, the same room that she was trying to shut herself in now. The horror of what that would potentially mean made her withdraw into herself more and more, and with each morning, with each time she had woken up to the buzzing in her head which had been progressively sounding more like the static of someone speaking over the radio, she had felt her confidence, her self worth evaporate. There was no way she was going to go out if that mean erasing her beloved friends or family — people who she had either known or imagined completely — from time. That feeling had left her a hollow shell, and just for two minute, for two entire after realising that the ringing was gone, she had felt such ecstatic joy that she felt like she was going to burst into flames. 

She noticed a photo lying on the floor next to her, and curiously picked it up. She let it go with a gasp. Hinata had spent her time in isolation staring blankly at the photos, thought she had memorised them completely, but now, upon scrutinization with the influence of the ringing, she noticed something that shook her already shattered heart. 

It was blank, except for her. It was a photo of just her smiling in the middle of white, empty space, under which she had written, ‘Team 8 reunion.’ 

Crawling over to another fallen photo, she examined it. Blank again, with the exception of her standing as though she was leaning one something. It was captioned, ‘15th birthday.’ 

She grabbed another one. Blank. The caption was empty too. 

Another one. Blank, with a caption reading, ‘Girls’ night out!’ 

Another. Just her and her mom. ‘Mother-daughter bonding time!’ 

Another. Just her, Naruto and Neji. ‘Reunion at Yakiniku Q.’ 

Another. Blank, with no caption. 

Another. Her and Naruto. 

Another, her and Naruto; another one, her and her mom only; another one, blank; another one, her and Neji; another, her, Neji, her mom and Hisashi; three more, blank; two more, just her and Naruto; and the rest were all blank. Blank, expect for her, smiling away or laughing in a sea of white. 

Whether it was an hour or a day, she sat there, staring at the blank photos, turning them over again and again and trying to see if she had missed something. But eventually, it became clear to her that the only people who were actually in them, were her, her mother, Naruto, Neji, her uncle Hisashi, and in one, Asuma. 

She couldn’t take it.

She sniffed as tears of panic welled up, and in the process got a fairly strong whiff of the sweet fragrance of her bouquet. Glaring at the still pristine condition of the colourful flowers now swimming in the puddle created by their vase smashing, she gathered them all up and moved towards the window, opening it and tossing them out, slamming the window back closed before closing the curtains as well. Then she turned to the photos scattered across the floor. 

Those needed to go too. 

Repeating the motions, she threw out the photos, before finally turning on the last thing that had caught her eye. The Message and the petal. Cautiously approaching the little piece of paper, she picked it up and, to her immense relief, saw that there was still orange on it.

She closed her eyes immediately at that. It wasn’t blank, and, filled with a little bit more strength, was now building up the strength to reopen her and to finally see what it said, and whether it said what it had so long ago. Fear flowed through her veins, but, taking a deep breath, she dived in, opening her eyes and reading as carefully as she could. 

Her eyebrows furrowed

_”Hinata, I’ll coming for you. I’m definitely  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“going to save you!”_ Naruto thought in his mind as he stared at Sasuke’s receding back, setting his jaw while glancing up at the giant planetoids that encased the Bijuu that were following the last Uchiha. He looked over at Sakura, unconscious, and at Kakashi, who looked utterly defeated. 

It was time. He had told Sasuke that the day he would turn against Konoha was the day that the two of them would have their final clash. 

It was time to die. 

_No,_ he told himself. Dying wasn’t a choice, not when there was the Infinite Tsukuyomi to end. Now was the point where everything would come together. 

He would save his friend. He would save the world. He would save his comrades. 

He had to. 

_Hinata, her chakra… it was… it was  
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_calling out to me._ Hinata thought, putting down the Message. 

The ringing was back. 

She looked over at the crumbling petal, and, too numb to say or do anything else, carefully picked up the remains, clenched her fist around it, and held that fist close to her chest, along with the letter, as she lied down on the ground, exhausted. 

The ringing wasn’t just a ringing anymore. 

She could hear what sounded like a muffled voice.   
______________________________________________________________________________

She woke up to the sound of humming, both from within and outside her head. It didn’t feel like it had all the other mornings; there was no nightmare threatening to pull her back to sleep. It had been an empty, dreamless slumber, something that she shook off with ease even as she registered the ringing. It felt less like the words it had before and was back to being a series of pulses, but the pain had subsided dramatically. 

Hinata opened her eyes. 

She was in bed, and through the closed curtains, could tell that it was probably daybreak. It would mean that she had been asleep for nearly a day. Shrugging that idea aside, she looked towards the source of the humming, and found Uzumaki Naruto, perched at the side of her bed, humming to himself while reading a book. 

The sight of him calmly reading a book while at _her_ bedside evoked a strong sense of wrong within her core. 

“Naruto?” 

“Hinata!” 

She cringed at how joyful Naruto’s voice was. The relief in it made her feel as though she was dying. 

But she ignored that and sat up in bed, instead looking curiously at her boyfriend, who was smiling so brightly it was like the sun itself was in her room. Except that his warmth, which should have penetrated her like light through glass, was not felt. There was not a sliver of happiness in her as the sight of his brilliant eyes or his messy, beautiful hair. 

So instead, she asked him in her most polite voice, “What are you doing here?” 

His smile faltered, but he managed to recover quite quickly. “Just checking up on you. Don’t worry, I wasn’t creepy or anything. I’ve actually only been here for ten minutes or so. Your mom called me this morning, saying that you’ve been in terrible condition lately.” 

“No, Naruto-ku… Naruto, why are you here?” 

“I… I’m here to check up on my girlfriend, who’s been gone for a long time and who I miss a lot and who I—” 

“Don’t say it!” she quickly interjected. 

“Love,” he finished, looking at her adamantly. “I love you, Hinata. I care so much about you, and I can’t stand that you’ve been in pain so much lately.”

A confession of love. A moment that was supposed to be cherished. Something that Hinata had desperately wanted. 

She sighed in response. 

“Naruto, that’s the problem, _you_ love me, but the truth is…” She sighed again in frustration, unable to formulate what she wanted to say. The damn ringing was in the way.

“What?” Naruto challenged, seeing her hesitancy. “What is the problem, Hinata?” 

He didn’t let her finish before moving closer to her and encasing her in his strong arms. Warmth radiated off of him, and the sense of security and comfort were almost overwhelming. 

Except they weren’t. 

Because when Naruto placed one hand on her head and guided it to his chest, she experienced the same thing that had happened when he had been carrying her to the hospital. 

The ringing and his heart beat synchronized. 

“That’s the problem, you,” she whispered finally, against his chest. “I don’t love you. Because you aren’t real.” 

Sighing, Naruto stayed silent, but continued to hold Hinata softly in his hands. He stroked her hair, and Hinata struggled to keep the tears from pouring like they did yesterday. She didn’t understand why she was so sure of her statement, or when she had first formulated those thoughts, but at the moment of saying them, they had felt so real that she was a little shaken. 

“You’re not the real Naruto, and I… I’m not the real Hinata. At least, not who Hinata really is.” 

“No, you’re not,” Naruto whispered against her head. 

“So, what do I do now?” 

Naruto had no answer for her, but that was okay. Even if he wasn’t real, she could enjoy the comfort of having the noises in her head sync with Naruto’s heart, and finding that now, instead of rattling her brain, the noise became a chant. 

Not a buzzing, but a mantra, repeated over and over with the rhythm of his heart. 

She could finally hear it.

_”Save them._

And just like that, with the closure of her eyes, as she finally accepted that the man holding her wasn’t real, the noise stopped. 

The warmth enveloping her stopped, and Naruto disappeared. 

She felt something in one of her hands. The fist that had held the wilted petal the night before was still clenched. Still held the ruined petal. 

No, not a ruined petal. A pure white, turgid petal. 

And suddenly, everything was dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going for a Russian Doll style chapter here, but obviously, that sort of thing works better in a well=planned, multi-episode show with an actual outline than it does on my "write-as-you-go" fic. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, though!


	20. Reunited (Fourth Shinobi War)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

She never liked the darkness much. Whether it was due to her name or because she had spent so long under Neji and Hanabi’s shadows, it made her sink into herself, unable to breathe. As though the darkness was a sea, and she was drowning in it. 

She saw the petal, heard his voice. And her world was plunged into darkness. 

Everywhere she looked, everything was obscured in the deepest of black, as though she was trapped in an infinitely black box. Looking down, she could see her own hands and body, and she had complete awareness, yet somehow, the world was completely empty. 

_What was I just doing?_

That’s right, Naruto was there with her, and her mother was making breakfast! Except, that couldn’t have been Naruto, Naruto was fighting against Madara with Team 7. And her mother couldn’t be trying to make her breakfast, her mother was… 

Breathing heavily, she tried her best not to panic. Disoriented, she went through the events that had just happened, only to find her heart racing and her emotions raging as her memories began to slip away. Already, events that had happened a mere minute ago began to blur away, as though it was simply sand being washed away by the tides, away from her mind. 

It felt exactly like she had woken up for a long dream, where the line between what was real and imagined was shaky. Except, now everything was fading away. The only thing that lingered was the smell of flowers, and the rapid beating of her own heart.

_What is this?_

_Where am I?_

Walking forward, she tried reaching out, only to find that she couldn’t touch anything. Crouching down, she tried placing her hand on the floor, and gasped as her hand stretched past where her feet were. Her feet felt like they were on solid ground, yet she managed to grab the soles of both her sandals with her hands. Lying down, she found that there was some form of resistance underneath her, yet her head was somehow managing to pass through the ground without feeling anything if she bent it backwards enough. 

Getting back up, she surveyed the dark landscape with her Byakugan, only to find nothing there, not even natural chakra. 

_Am I dead? Is this what being dead is like? Then, is Neji-nii-san…!_

She gulped, and hot tears sprang to the corner of her eyes. It suddenly became hard to breathe, and she staggered backwards at the enormity of those thoughts. She hadn’t had time, hadn’t had the opportunity to process it, but the reality was that her cousin… 

...was dead. 

_No!_

Sniffing, she aggressively wiped away at the tears that had started trailing down her face. There would be time to deal with this later, after she figured out where she was. Crying over Neji was not an option.

Clenching her fists, digging her nails as hard as she could into her palms, she began to run. She picked a random direction and charged, hoping that the void would end somewhere. Pouring in every bit of chakra she had left into her legs, she accelerated, moving faster than ever, running away from the ghost of her cousin, running away from her sense of guilt, hoping that there would be a light somewhere. There would be a better time to mourn, a proper time to remember and respect his memory. Right now, it would be an insult to his sacrifice if she couldn’t move forward, couldn’t get back to the battlefield. 

They need her! Every last ninja mattered, and the Shinobi Alliance was running short. There was no telling what had been happening while she was trapped in her own dreams, no telling how many had been decimated. It didn’t matter how she slipped from reality either, it only mattered that she had suddenly felt a foreign, unstoppable chakra invade her, ensnare her, plunge her into what she could now only understand as a nightmare. 

Tears streamed down her face, and shut her eyes, running blindly, hoping that when she opened them, it would be at the end of the tunnel. 

_This can’t be it. This can’t…!_

Her family needed her! 

Her friends needed her! 

The village needed her! 

And Naruto… 

She opened her eyes. 

_Light…?_

She was momentarily blinded by the intensity of it. She tried to cover her eyes with her hand, but felt slight resistance as she tried lifting her hand up. 

_Is this…. wood?_

Sitting up bolt right, she used the last little teaspoon of chakra she had in order to allow her eyes to adjust faster. Looking around, she saw the rest of the Shinobi Alliance, groggily getting out of cocoons and looking around dazedly. The few that were already standing were staggering, and looked as though they were ready to fall over at any time. 

Everyone looked as though they had just woken up from a deep, unpleasant dream. 

Brushing the already disintegrating cocoon pieces off of her hair, she slowly rose to her legs and looked towards the branch that she had been connected to. It was already melting into chakra behind her, and as more and more shinobi rose from their traps, the branch receded into its hole faster and faster, breaking and turning to dust and chakra as it went. 

She couldn’t help but smile.

She had an idea of who was responsible.   
______________________________________________________________________________

_Naruto-kun!_

Kakashi had sent them a message via one of his canine Summons about their location. Having had enough time to recover her strength and chakra between awakening and the dog’s arrival, she was running at high speeds towards Team 7’s location as part of the retrieval squad, alongside Shino, Kiba, Akamaru, Ino, and two Kiri and two Suna medics.. Though informing them that Madara had been taken down, Kakashi’s message had also told them that Naruto and Sasuke were in need of medical assistance, and that Sakura had exhausted her chakra. 

Hinata was only too glad to have gone. Not that she had much of a choice, as she had been ordered to by the Hokage, but she still would have at least volunteered. She was a combat and sensory type, and now that the fighting was over, the focus was now on healing and retrieving their dead. And, as she wasn’t fully competent in the healing applications of Jyuuken, she wouldn’t be too useful for the first part, and for the second…. 

The first thing she had done after waking up from the genjutsu was to find her teammates. Then, she ran straight for her cousin’s body, racing with Lee at her side to ensure that in the chaos of the battle, there would still be a body to find and bury, Byakugan sifting through the rubble, and the residual chakra, and the countless dead bodies of those who, not so long ago, had been standing side by side with her during Gaara’s speech at the start of the war. . 

She took a sharp breath. It was still there. 

No, he was still there. 

She nearly broke on the stop. 

She helped Lee bring his body down from the debris, towards the area that was already being set up for their fallen comrades to be later taken to their respective villages. The two of them were trembling so much during that process that it was a miracle that they even got a quarter of the way there, where a couple of her fellow Hyuuga ran up to help them. And then, Shino and Kiba had to drag her away from Neji, while Tenten gently coaxed Lee into coming with her to check on their sensei, who was being healed by Tsunade herself.

She could have stayed to help track down bodies, of course, but there were plenty of other Hyuuga there, not to mention the Inuzuka, most of whom were more experienced with the horrors of war, more desensitised and more detached. No, she would have just been useless there, unable to do anything. And the sense of powerlessness would have done her in. 

And if not, she might have started to relax, and once the adrenaline and fighting mentality would have run out, she wouldn’t have been able to bear the emotional tidal wave just waiting to break through.

She looked over at Ino as they leapt from branch to branch. From her friend’s focused yet slightly red eyes, Hinata had the feeling that Ino was on the squad for much the same reason. 

As they made their way to the Valley of the End, Hinata realized that whatever had happened while everyone was under the Infinite Tsukuyomi must have been devastating. Frowning as she had to jump over yet another fallen tree, she looked around and saw that the entire forest seemed to have been ravaged by unnaturally strong winds. 

Seeing that they were reaching the end of the forest, she decided to go ahead and activate her Byakugan again. There was no more point in saving her chakra now. 

She gasped. 

She had seen the immense chakra of the Jyuubi, but that had been the concentrated power of the nine Bijuu. Seeing the tremendous amount of residual chakra that seemed to be flooding the area was a different experience. 

_Just what did Team 7 have to fight? How did they ever manage to beat Madara?_

Scanning past the radiation, she saw through the last of the trees at the edge of the forest and into what looked like a giant crater. Again, she gasped. 

She had only been to the Valley of the End once before, back when her father was still invested in training her as his heir, and the decimated area increased the worry she had in her heart for her friends. And Sasuke, too. 

Looking past that too, she saw nine, gigantic chakra entities standing next to each other, and under them, four very small figures. Four people with close to no chakra left, two of whom seemed to be missing… 

“Hinata!” Shino cried as Hinata began to accelerate, a newfound surge of energy burning away her fatigue. 

Not looking back, she hoarsely told them to follow, and she began to charge forward, outstripping the rest of them as she rushed past the fallen trees, jumped over rocks and ran through the rubble, panic bubbling inside of her. Kakashi’s message had stated that Naruto was injured, but failed to mention the extent of it. Even the knowledge that Sakura was next to him gave her no comfort, judging by how little chakra the medic-nin seemed to have and how much chakra and blood Naruto had lost. Besides that, though just the sight of Naruto so low on chakra would have caused her to explode with concern, seeing the extent of his injuries made her forget herself. 

It was always like that with him. He had a way of making her naturally cautious, anxious and self-doubting self seem to evaporate. His impulsive ways seemed to rub off on her. 

“Everyone!” she cried ahead as she finally reached them, past the two fallen heads of Konoha’s founders. 

“Hinata!” Naruto cried as he turned around to the source of the sound, a bright smile erupting as he got up from sitting on a rock and rushed towards her. “You’re oka— oof!” 

She tackled him, lunging and grabbing him by the midsection, wrapping him tightly in her arms as she buried her head in his shoulder. 

She almost openly wept when he placed his one hand gently around her, but somehow managed to hold herself in. 

“You’re alive. I-I’m so relieved,” she whispered, her voice muffled by his torn mesh shirt. 

Naruto chuckled slightly. 

“I’m really relieved too. You’re okay,” he said, and she could practically hear the way he smiled. She certainly felt his hold on her tighten. 

It was… an odd sensation to say the least. She couldn’t remember her mother much, only knowing of her from second hand accounts, and neither her father nor her classmates were ever particularly affectionate towards her, with the exception of occasional pats on the shoulder from Ko. The only person who would wholeheartedly hug her, and who she was allowed to hug back, was her little sister, and that was only until Hanabi turned against her. The first time she had been hugged after that was years later by Kurenai after she was discharged from the hospital following her injury in her first Chunin Exams. Kiba followed not long after, and she and Shino first hugged when they celebrated their first successful B rank mission. Hugs would later on became a staple of Team 8, but even as she slowly became comfortable with the feeling, it still felt like a Team 8 exclusive thing. When Hanabi hugged her after Pain’s attack, though it was truly heartwarming, Hinata couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. When Ino tried, she had politely broken contact as quickly as she could. 

Contact with Neji was uncomfortable, too. At first. As time went by, and they trained together more, she began to see him as a brother more, and not in the “son of my father’s twin” sort of way she used to in the past. He became her reliable big brother, one she respected and looked up to, and warming up to him was, in many ways, cathartic. It allowed her to move past all of the pain that she felt due to her clan. 

And she knew — partially because Tenten had told her — that Neji felt the same way. He too had been starved of familial connection and affection since the Hyuuga Affair. His happiness and sense of love had died alongside his father, and though his time with Tenten and Lee and Might Guy helped create openings in his armour, his bitterness remained a constant barrier to his heart.

So, after Neji’s match with Naruto, after Hiashi’s letter, they started to rebuild together. They healed together. And over time, she managed to include Neji to the small group of people that she trusted beyond anything else. 

But even he took time to get used to. She didn’t need to forgive him, she never holds grudges, but she was still afraid of him. 

With Naruto, it was different. 

She had never been this close to him before. Even though they had spent some time following Pain’s attack and right before the war just hanging out together, there was always some sort of distance between them. Her being awkward, him being distracted by the crises going on. 

Now, she wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline or the shock of seeing a one-armed Naruto or being held so tightly by a single arm; all she knew was this felt right. 

She had never felt anything feel so right before. Like when he held her hand, she was seized by a sense of comfort and security. 

“So this is what ‘glomping’ looks like,” a cool voice to the side said, and she slowly raised her face away from Naruto and looked over at Kakashi, who was standing over by Sakura and Sasuke. “It’s just like how it’s described in Icha-Icha Paradise. The great reunion between the hero and his lady.” 

He seemed to be smiling gently, though Hinata wouldn’t know — she turned off her Byakugan when she launched herself onto Naruto. 

“Kakashi-sensei! Sakura-chan!” 

Having not heard Kakashi’s last sentence, she extracted herself from Naruto’s hold (he didn’t seem to like that) and rushed over to Kakashi and Sakura. After a brief moment of hesitation, she decided to go for it, and hugged them both. Sakura immediately hugged her back, laughing with joy, while Kakashi looked over her shoulder at Naruto. 

“No need to get so jealous,” he teased. 

Naruto glare only seemed to get more intense. 

Breaking away from them, Hinata spared a brief smile upwards at the Bijuu (did the Kyuubi… wink at her?) before finally shifting her gaze towards the figure behind Sakura. He looked sullen, eyes cast downwards, lying on the ground and leaning against a rock. 

“Sasuke… kun,” she said hesitantly, still keeping her distance.

He didn’t look up. 

She didn’t know what to say. ‘Congratulations on surviving’ didn’t seem the most polite thing to say, and saying that she was happy that he was okay would have felt odd — not to mention that he most certainly did not look okay. Eventually, she settled with bowing slightly, and softly saying, “Thank you.” 

Sasuke still didn’t look up, but it seemed like he nodded very slightly. 

Hinata turned back towards the rest of Team 7, and bowed more deeply. “Thank you. For saving us all. 

“Seconded!” a voice cried out, and the rest of the retrieval squad landed in front of them, panting and out of breath. Ino brightened up immediately upon spotting Sakura, and ran straight to her, enveloping her in a massive hug that Sakura fully reciprocated. “Billboard Brows! You live!” 

“No thanks to you, Ino Pig,” Sakura laughed. 

Kiba walked over to Hinata, grinning at the friends’ reunion. “Ah, just look at them, squabbling already and everything. You’d think that — Holy shit dude, what the hell happened to your arm?” 

He pointed at Naruto’s stump, and three of the medics that arrived with them immediately rushed at him, the other one going to Kakashi, who waved him away and pointed at Sakura’s burned arm. 

“Seriously, what the crap happened to your arm?” Kiba insisted, trying to get a closer peak at the stump through the medics that now surrounded Naruto. 

“Ah, well, combat, ya know,” Naruto answered. “Saving the world is hard.” 

“Yeah, but like, did Madara just chop it off or something?” 

At Naruto’s hesitation, Kiba pressed on. “What was fighting Madara like anyways?” 

“Kiba-kun, I don’t think it’s right to have them talk about it this soon!” Hinata chided. 

“But seriously, the fight must have been intense!” Ino piped in, ignoring Hinata and finally pulling away from Sakura. “Seeing by the number he did on Naruto. I mean, Naruto’s practically indestructible!” 

“It wasn’t Madara,” a voice interjected, and everyone whirled around to look at the source. 

Sasuke. 

One of the medics helping Naruto immediately moved to help the Uchiha, but Sasuke waved him away, and, using his rock for support, shakily got to his feet. He raised his head slightly and, with one eye swollen, shut and the lids caked with blood, looked directly at Hinata. 

“I did it. I blasted Naruto’s arm off.” 

It was dead silent. Ino and Team 8 froze in place, staring at Sasuke in disbelief. The medics stopped and gaped at him. Sakura was about to speak but Kakashi’s who looked grave, placed a hand in front of her to stop her. Naruto simply looked neutral. 

“What do you mean, you blasted Naruto’s arm off?” Hinata eventually managed to ask. 

“I mean that after we stopped the threat, we could have ended the Infinite Tsukuyomi early. I tried to take advantage of the genjutsu by trying to kill all the Kage, and Naruto stopped me.” He fell to his knees in front of Kiba, who looked furious. “I am turning myself in.” 

“No!” Sakura shouted, but was held back by Kakashi, who said something quietly into her ear to stop her from flailing, then turned to Sasuke. “You sure about this?” 

Nodding, Sasuke looked up at Naruto, who still looked neutral. Naruto then looked towards Sakura, shook his head, then turned to look back at Sasuke. He nodded. 

Hinata looked at Naruto in surprise. Hadn’t finding and redeeming his best friend been his goal for so long? Hadn’t she done all she could to ensure that Naruto’s full focus would be on saving Sasuke? Hadn’t she ceased the Messages so that Naruto wouldn’t waste his energy wondering about her? Why was he okay with this? 

Naruto suddenly looked over at her, and their eyes met. Hers filled with confusion and concern, his calm, resolute. And, though she didn’t know how, or why, she understood. 

Somehow, reading his eyes was as simple as reading one of his Messages.   
______________________________________________________________________________

Somehow, reading her eyes was as simple as reading one of the Notes. 

It was an apt comparison, he felt. He always got that feeling, that soothing sensation that always seemed to put him to peace, whenever he read the Notes. Or when he was with her. 

Somehow, he knew that Hinata would understand him.

From his periphery, he noticed Shino and Kiba look at him and the rest of his Team 7 comrades, before turning to Hinata, who nodded, not breaking eye contact with him. It seemed clear enough to them, though, as Kiba went to tie Sasuke’s one arm to his body with a coil of rope, and Shino placed a hand on Sasuke’s head, no doubt setting a few of his special bugs on the last Uchiha. It was for the best, Naruto thought, and would lay the groundwork for Sasuke’s healing. Their fight and conversation was a start, but Sasuke’s grievance was ultimately with Konoha. 

_Strange, the way the Will of Fire can sometimes lead to so much hate,_ he mused. There were the Uchiha, of course, and, as he looked into Hinata’s eyes, he remembered the first time he had learned of what it meant for a clan of Konoha to lose itself in the pursuit of fulfilling its duty. 

_Neji._

He knew that Hinata was in pain, could see it in her eyes, though how, he wasn’t sure. He could just… see it. And though he wasn’t sure what he could do to help her, he was damn sure he was going to try. 

He smiled at her. 

“Everyone, let’s go home.”   
______________________________________________________________________________

He woke up with a start. 

He wasn’t able to describe the dream. It felt like he was back in Sage Mode, except with the intensity of his sensory abilities turned up to maximum. Flashes of pain. Momentary bursts of agony reminiscent of the time at the battlefield when he would literally sense his comrades getting killed around him. Splashes of specific sense memories. The thick smell of blood in the air. The taste of ash on his lips. The sickening sounds of wood cutting into flesh. 

Breathing heavily, he looked around the dark room, reminding himself that he was not on fighting anymore, taking in the details of the hospital room to prove to himself that the war had ended a week ago. A whole week had passed, punctuated by night identical to these, nights when he would go through this routine to show himself that he wasn’t on Turtle Island, fighting off his dark side anymore, or in his mind, having to go through his mother’s memories to see his parents’ last moments, or in Kaguya’s dimension, watching Obito crumble to dust in front of his eyes. 

Or on that rocky cliff, being shielded by the Hyuuga. 

He desperately looked in the dark, taking in the door, the many flowers in the corner, his bedside table, the painting that Sai had brought him, the massive vase of sake that Bee had insisted he accept, and the many, many gifts that were in his room that his nurses didn’t have the heart to tell him to get rid of. 

Cursing, he slapped his hand over his eyes, frustrated at his recent lack of sleep. From Sasuke’s imprisonment to all the rebuilding that had to now take place, worry had been making his nights hell. 

Tonight was even more stressful, because in the morning, he would be attending the funeral. A funeral that had been delayed as long as it was because of how long it took to find and retrieve all the bodies. 

In the morning, he would have to say goodbye to Neji, and he wasn’t ready. 

He wanted to know how Hinata was doing. 

Sighing, he repeated his routine, reminding himself that he wasn’t at the funeral, or back in the battlefield, but rather, in this hospital room. And as he did so, as his eyes travelled to the bedside table, he noticed something new. Something that was lying next to the many letters he had received, but that hadn’t been there when he went to sleep, and which was sitting at the edge of the table to stand out. 

Something about it excited him, and he reached out, straining a little in his bed as he grabbed what was now clearly not a large sheet of paper, or an envelope, or a scroll, but a small square of carefully cut paper. Bringing it close to his face, he squinted in the darkness. 

His heart rate increased dramatically. 

He couldn’t read any of the text in the dark, but there was enough light filtering through the translucent curtains for him to tell the colour of the pen with which the piece of paper had been written on. 

Purple. 

It was a Note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hadn't had much time to properly edit or check this, and I was too impatient and excited to write the next chapter (which I had been looking forward to writing since I first conceived the idea for this fic) to wait, so please let me know if there are any issues that need to be fixed!


	21. By the campfire (Blank Period)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a more simple chapter this time. Hope you enjoy!

_“When looking over documents or texts it’s always a good idea to write a summary sentence at the end of each paragraph and underline key words!”_

It was advice he had seen before in the Academy, but he diligently applies it in his jounin studies and finds that he can retain information better than before. 

_”Depending on chakra to constantly heal you strains your cells, so make sure to leave some things to your body.”_

It was annoying advice, and made injuries from training take longer to heal than he was used to, but he nevertheless followed it. Both Tsunade and Sakura affirmed that it was the right thing to do when they noticed, and so he continued to do it. He even went to ask Hinata for some of her special ointments, though he pretended that he knew about them from Kiba rather than because he remembered her act of kindness years back. What for, he wasn’t sure. 

_”Don’t forget to eat healthy!”_

He made sure to supplement his diet with fresh greens and fruits. He could still spend all day just putting away bowl after bowl of what he considered to be the greatest dish of all time, but when out with friends, he suggested Ichiraku less. Ordered less servings. He had to admit, he did start feeling physically better. 

Life was radically different for him now that the war was over. For one, he was a hero — even more so than after Pain’s assault. In the eighteen months since the end of the war, people from all across the Nations would visit Konoha just to see him. Gifts would pile up in his room; admiring stares were now something he was used to. Kakashi was Hokage now, too, which made him feel exceptionally strange. 

The best change, he found, was the return of the Notes. Still the same orange text, the same magnificent handwriting, the same gentle and intelligent tone in writing. Like before, he would find them in the Academy, now under the desk that he would usually take when receiving his jounin lectures. How they got there, he had no clue, but that didn’t matter. 

What mattered was that his guardian angel was out there. 

He had lost his box of original Notes and Hinata’s ointment container during Pain’s assault. Now, he started a new box, filled now just with the new Notes, but with a few other important trinkets. One of his father’s kunai. An original copy of the Tales of a Gutsy Ninja. An Uzumaki clan necklace that Tsunade had found. 

He followed the advice of the Notes almost religiously. They didn’t fail him as an Academy student. They weren’t going to fail him now. 

But nowhere from the Notes did he see any advice for this situation. 

Not at all. 

“Naruto-kun?” 

Crap. She noticed him staring. 

“Nothing! Just making sure… ah…” 

She tilted her head slightly, and he couldn’t help but note what a particularly cute motion that was. 

“Making sure of what?” 

“Err… well, it’s dangerous as night, and we’re in the middle of nowhere, ya know!” he fumbled with his words, chuckled nervously, and rubbed the back of his neck. “So, uhh… just making sure you’re safe and all.” 

Hinata smiled at him slightly, and, from the many discussions they had hanging out in the village, he recognised it as her version of a challenge. 

“Do you not trust me to protect myself?”

“No! Not at all!” he cried, shaking his head vigorously. 

_Stupid! She’s super strong, of course she can take care of herself! Plus, I just insulted her ability to detect danger, for a sensory type, that’s like the ultimate insult!_

“What I mean was… uhh… you’re not cold, are you?” he amended, and felt slightly proud of himself for finding such a good excuse. “The cold can be dangerous, ya know!” 

Again, she smiled in challenge, but instead of speaking, she simply shook her head and went back to her writing. Sighing, Naruto looked away, and went back to leaning against his tree, rubbing his face slightly as he looked up into the starry sky. It was only the first night of their mission, and he was already making things weird. 

It wasn’t as though he wanted it to be that way, or expected it in any way. The two of them had been alone together many times in the past year since the end of the war. Hinata had been a great help to him when he was recovering from his fight with Sasuke, and they spent a lot of time together at the hospital, or talking aimlessly at cafes and Ichiraku, or at get-togethers with the rest of their friends. 

Mostly, the two of them found comfort in each other at the cemetery. 

So it was odd to him that he felt so awkward where he was told that his first mission after getting his prosthetic would be with just Hinata. Though definitely excited for his first ever mission with her, it was definitely an odd feeling, setting out of the gates together and travelling around alone. He had always been so comfortable with her, especially with her, so the fact that he wasn’t feeling as relaxed in her presence as he usually did was disconcerting to him. He also certainly noticed that his eyes kept darting towards her, catching every movement she made. 

The mission was simple. The chaos of the war and the consequent weakening of the Five Great Villages meant that opportunist criminals and malicious groups could rise up and take advantage of the compromised security of the countries. Naruto and Hinata’s job was to track down the base of operations of a particular syndicate which was proving rather elusive to track down.

 _”Normally, I would just send Team 8 to do this mission,”_ Kakashi had told him, _”But considering that Shino and Kiba are currently unavailable, seeing as Kiba has clan matters and Shino is on a separate extermination task force, I thought that your Sage Mode would compliment Hinata’s Byakugan quite nicely.”_

He could sense people’s chakras. She could see the physical layout of the base and report back the specifications. In that way, they _would_ make an excellent team. 

Naruto peeked another glance at Hinata. Night had fallen, forcing them to form a campsite. As soon as they made the campfire, Hinata had sat down, took out a notebook and pen, and had started writing away, and Naruto had spent the last half an hour watching her, seeing how carefully and lovely she wrote on the paper, seeing the way the flickering firelight reflected off of her soft, lavender eyes and illuminated the way she seemed to smile as she wrote, a smile so gentle and warm it seemed brighter and hotter than the fire. 

Curiosity slowly ate away at him. What was she writing? Why did she look so happy?

Finally, he decided that he had enough. 

“You know, we don’t have to write the mission report until we’re done,” he said as casually as he could. It was one of the tricks he learned from the Notes — information gathering without being too direct about it. 

She shook her head. 

“This isn’t a mission report.” 

“Oh?” 

Silence. 

_Isn’t she gonna tell me what it is instead?_

“You know,” he tried again, “with the amount of hours I’m being forced to study shinobi history by Iruka, my arms get pretty tired from writing. How do you do it?” Another trick, using himself as an example with the necessary details in order to possibly make the target follow along. 

But she smiled at him and simply said, “Practice makes perfect, Naruto-kun. You get used to it.” 

_Her defense is impenetrable. She’s clearly a master of confidentiality!_

There was another long pause as Naruto, in frustration, pondered his next line of attack. 

“But even though my studies are hard, there are some topics which I really like writing about, ya know! Like jutsu analysis!” he said as slowly and as cheerfully as possible. 

_How about this? Surely now that I have revealed my secret, she will feel compelled to add to the conversation by talking about things she enjoys writing about!_

But she didn’t even look up. Hinata merely smiled down at the paper and nodded her head. “If you enjoy it, you should keep doing it.”

_CRAAAAAP! I knew she was an incredibly strategist and a super intelligent person but this! To have countered my strongest attacks with so little effort..?_

“Don’t you hate it when you’re writing and you run out of space?” he asked desperately, running out of options. 

Not even speaking, she simply nodded and continued writing away. 

“Hinata…” he said after a while, finally giving up. 

“ Yes?” 

“.... What are you writing?” 

“A letter,” she answered simply, in her gentle, patient way. 

_Haha! I figured it out! Just as I suspected, she’s writing a letter!_

Naruto blinked. 

“To who?” he suddenly demanded, feeling slightly peeved for some reason. 

“A friend.” 

“I see.” He paused for a bit, his curiosity still unsated. “Kiba? Shino? You know you’ll see them as soon as we’re done, and with our skills, I’m sure that won’t take too long.” 

“Oh, this isn’t for them.” Then, after a moment of thought, she added, “Not for anyone who’s in Konoha at the moment, either.” 

“I… see. Is this like… to ask for help or something?” 

“No, just a regular letter. I enjoy writing to them once in a while.” 

“I…. I see.” 

“I thought seeing was my job?” Hinata quipped, looking up quickly from her writing to flash him a soft smile that, in the orange light of the fire, seemed as though the summer sky itself was shining on him. 

“Ah, right,” he laughed, a little more nervously than usual. “So, uh, have you known this person for long?” 

“Oh yes, we’ve been friends for… for a very long time.” 

At this, Naruto’s eyebrows flew directly into his hairline. He wasn’t aware of any friends that Hinata had that weren’t from the village, certainly not anyone she would regularly send letters to. The only time she would have met someone from elsewhere was during the war, but clearly that wasn’t the case if she had been friends with this person for “a very long time.” Why hadn’t she ever mentioned them during their time hanging out? Surely if there was someone that she was in contact with, she would talk about them. After all, one of their most common topics of discussion was their friends. Hinata loved her friends, and spoke about them with so much happiness, and Naruto felt like he had a special window into both her life, and the lives of their mutual friends. Hearing about them from her always gave him a different perspective on them, much like how she always helped him see everything from a different perspective. 

So why not this mystery pen pal?

“So, is she like, someone from a clan allied with the Hyuuga, or..?”

“Well, I guess you could say that,” she answered, her voice hesitant for some reason. “ _He_ is quite popular with the Hyuuga, anyways.”

 _He?_

Hinata was friends with a mysterious man for a very long time? Someone not from the village? Someone who made her smile so wonderfully just with the thought of him, just from writing to him? 

“Where’s this guy from? What’s his name?” he asked, a little more hotly than he wanted, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but feel betrayed by this sudden revelation. He thought that if there was someone who seemed to make her so happy, Hinata would have at least shared this information with him. Weren’t they friends? 

“Why is this so important to you?” Hinata seemed guarded, though her smile was still present, and more challenging than ever.

At least she was looking at him and not at the paper. That was good. 

“It’s just… it’s just that you’ve never mentioned this person before. You must not be that close with them then, huh?” 

“Oh, but I have told you about him,” she replied earnestly. 

Naruto blinked in surprise. “You did? When?” 

“Oh, umm, before.” Her answer was quick and nervous. 

Naruto was not convinced. “Still, if you’ve talked about… this guy… and I don’t remember it at all,” — something he found to be highly indicative of her relationship with this stranger considering that Naruto remembered pretty much everything they talked about, especially after the war — “then you must not be too close with him,” he repeated, a bit hopefully. 

_Why am I so bothered? Right, cause I thought Hinata and I are good friends! Why shouldn’t I be bothered that she keeps this stuff from me?_

“Ah, well… not at first.” Hinata looked back down at the paper, and from the firelight, Naruto could see that it was now a small, sad smile which adorned her face. “I always wanted to be, though. He didn’t think much of me at first. I was always a nuisance. But after some time, I managed to grow up a bit and change. He noticed my efforts, and I think he changed his mind after that. And eventually, we became quite good friends. At least, I like to think that we are.”

He watched the way her smile brightened at that last bit, and though part of him softened at how happy she looked, something akin to indignation — or even anger — coursed through him at her proclamation. 

“You like to think that?” he said, scandalised. “He must be a real jerk if he has you in any doubt of whether you’re friends or not! And how could he think you were a nuisance? Sure, you were shy, but you’ve always been amazing, ya know!” 

He couldn’t tell with the firelight, but he thought he saw her blush. 

“I wasn’t always,” she whispered. “I used to be so weak, and so shy, and—” 

“You were always amazing,” he said with so much certainty that Hinata looked straight up at him, eyes wide. “Plus, none of that was your fault, ya know! And there’s nothing wrong with being kind or shy or anything, anyways!’ 

Naruto waved away the brief memory of when he called her gloomy and dark that popped up and continued. “And if this ‘friend’ didn’t realise that, he mustn’t be so great!” 

“Yo— I mean, he was really young, though!” Hinata defended, and Naruto was taken aback back how fiercely she had said it. “And he was really one of the first who noticed me! Everyone else thought that I was useless back then, too! I don’t really blame them, but he was the first to believe that I could be more than that!” 

_I thought I was the first to notice that… didn’t she say that back then? Before my fight with Neji?_

“Hey, I never thought you were useless!” Again, he conveniently shook away the memories that flew in his head of his time in the Academy, thinking that she was annoying and in the way. 

“Right, I’m sorry. You were nicer to me than most,” she apologised, looking back down. 

Guilt swarmed Naruto, and he had half a mind to run over and hug her, but held himself back. He wasn’t particularly physically affectionate, but there was something that made him want to pick her up and hold her until all bad things went away. He had a feeling she wouldn’t appreciate it, though. 

“No, don’t be, I was a real jerk,” he said instead, hoping he could convey enough of his feelings with that statement. 

“Oh, no, you weren’t,” Hinata insisted, but, after a moment, looked at him curiously. “But, could I ask… why did you get so… angry?” 

“What? Oh, I guess I’m just… defensive of my friends.” 

That was certainly true, but with Hinata, Naruto was always especially more defensive. Not of physical threats, Naruto had seen what she was capable of. No, during those long times mourning side by side at the cemetery, Naruto had become especially defensive of Hinata against her own doubt, something which she had mostly conquered, particularly when on duty, but which was still prone to resurfacing nowadays. Hearing her doubt herself, whether now or in the past, made him on edge. And the news about the effects of this… “friend” did not help. 

“That’s not something to be apologetic about, Naruto-kun. But trust me, this friend of mine… he wouldn’t hurt me. You don’t have to worry about them.” 

“I see.” 

After another long pause, he mustered up the courage and went for it. 

“So what about them is so special?” 

“Hmm?” 

“You seem to smile so much when you write to… him.” 

“Oh… I do?” 

“Yeah, I notice that you look really happy when you…” He stopped abruptly, and blushed. 

_Dammit! Now she must think that I’m some sort of creep or stalker!_

But thankfully, she ignored that faux pas. “Well, they’re a good friend, as I said.” 

“No like, you just sort of… is there something special about this guy?” 

“...Yes, definitely.” 

“What, is he some handsome prince or something?” he snorted, trying his best to keep calm. 

“A prince… no. Handsome..” Even through the firelight, he could see that she was blushing, and that was all the answer he needed. 

He swallowed the spark of irritation that almost threatened to make him combust. _It’s fine, people can think that people are good looking without being in love with them. Hell, I think... Kakashi’s pretty good looking, and I have no desire to get down with him. And I think Sakura’s really attractive, but I’m long over her. And Hinata’s definitely super beautiful, and I never…_ He swallowed, and more a moment, a vision of a very furious Neji popped into his head, and he shuddered a bit. _I shouldn’t be bothered by this. Hinata’s strong, she’s smart, she’s great at decisions. Plus, as her friend, I should be happy for her. You know, if she does like… like…_

“That’s not what’s super special about him, though,” Hinata said after a moment, and he looked back at her, her glimmering eyes making his vision of Neji executing enemies with the Gentle Fist disappear. “He’s… he’s very kind.” 

“So? Chouji’s kind.” 

“He’s very inspirational.”

“I’m always inspired by Tenten’s commitment to missions and her ninja gear.” 

“He’s incredibly hard working,” she insisted.

“No one works harder than Lee.” 

“And he’s really smart,” she declared proudly, then, as though an afterthought, added, “even if that’s not apparent some times.” 

“Yeah, well Shikamaru’s really smart AND it’s always apparent.” 

“What are you trying to do, Naruto?” she asked, sounding very concerned and a little… amused? “I’m just stating some of his important qualities, it’s not a competition.” 

“I just don’t know this person,” he said, coming off a little more forcefully than he intended. “I just… I care a lot about my friends. I don’t trust mystery people, not around those I care about.” 

“Do you not trust my judgement?” 

“Of course I do! You’re super smart, and you’re an excellent judge of quality! It blows me away every time you can check which fabric is of good quality, or which foods you should buy!” 

She laughed slightly. “Those aren’t hard things to judge, Naruto-kun.” 

“But still, you’re great at it!” he insisted. “But you’re also super kind, ya know! And super trusting. And that’s good! That’s really good!” 

“So what’s your point?” 

“I just…” Agonising thoughts chased each other around his head, and, gritting his teeth, he decided to take the plunge “.… look, clearly there’s something going on between you and this guy, and I just want you to be careful, okay?” 

There was an excruciating pause during which the two of them stared at each other across the fire, Naruto against his tree trunk, Hinata cross-legged at the edge of the campfire. Surrounded by trees and darkness, under the watchful gaze of the moon, Naruto stared at her face, illuminated by the soft warm of the fire and the colder, graceful light of the moon and couldn’t help but feel wonder. To hell with coming across as overprotective, he just wanted to keep her safe, to wrap her up and hide her away from the clutches of the world, of this mystery pen pal. She was Hinata, after all, someone too pure and kind for the world. It was only right that he felt the need to protect her, right? That’s what Neji would have wanted him to do, right? 

“Naruto-kun,” Hinata began slowly, “I think you are very confused. There is nothing going on between me and this friend. We just write to each other. There is no... romance… or anything here. I doubt there ever will be.” 

He felt inexplicable relief in his chest, and he grinned at her. 

“Oh, okay then. Just… your look… but I guess I’m a bit dumb at this. I never really understood this stuff. All I understand about people liking each other is from my parents and Sasuke and Sakura, and with my parents, I only know about them through explanations, and with Sasuke and Sakura… well, I wouldn’t call there's a normal romance, ya know?” he rambled, feeling a little giddy. 

She smiled at him. 

“You’re not dumb,” she said quietly. “Just… it’s not your fault.”

“That I never experience proper love?” 

She winced at his bluntness, but nodded nonetheless, looking down. 

“Well, come to think of it, neither did you, right?” 

Surprised, her head whipped up, and she cocked her head to the side, surveying him with a startled look. 

“What?” 

“I mean, you didn’t have the whole… happy, loving home thing.” 

“I… guess not.” 

Guilt filled him once more at the melancholy look that surfaced on her face. “Oh damn, sorry, I really didn’t mean to—”

“No, it’s fine,” she said loudly, and she forced a small smile. “ It’s okay. I did have it quite strict back then.” 

“It’s not necessary great now, though,” he frowned. “I mean, stuff’s changed, since… ya know, and everything’s better, but… doesn’t it hurt sometimes?” 

Her eyes widened, and her lips parted in surprise. 

Naruto hesitated. It was something he wanted to say for a while, but never felt comfortable discussing. Then he looked her in the eyes, and realised that he never had to hide anything from her. 

“It’s just… people change. I know that. I try to get people to change. I know you’re dad’s changed, I know the village’s changed. But sometimes… I just feel like just because people have changed, doesn’t mean that the bad stuff they did should be forgotten.” He laughed a bit. “I actually had to face this doubt before the war, when I was learning how to use Kyuubi chakra. I thought I accepted it all, but it’s just…” 

“It’s hard,” she supplied. 

“... Yeah.” 

“I… I understand,” she said slowly, and he finally edged off of his trunk and crawled nearer to the fire (Hinata turned her notebook over upon noticing). “It… does hurt sometimes. I know that my father feels really guilty, and he tries so hard to make up for his mistakes, and I’ve forgiven him, but…” 

“Sometimes you feel like they shouldn’t be forgiven,” he finished, and he smiled at her. A smaller one than his usual massive grin. The honest, genuine smile that he unconsciously reserves just for her. 

She nodded. “Whenever I feel like that, I always feel so bad. And sometimes, it gets a bit suffocating, and I just… I have to leave the house. And there’s a part of me that still doesn’t… doesn’t want to be associated with the clan.” 

“I… I get it. I get that sometimes with the village.” 

“But you’re willing to move past that and even want to be Hokage.” She flashed a brilliant smile at him that was brighter than the campfire, and his insides melted. “You’re so strong. You always have been.” 

“At the end of the day, home is home, right?” 

They both looked at the fire, lost in thought. By now, Naruto was sitting on the grass too, and was right next to her, gazing at the way the fire danced and shined. He beamed at it. His awkwardness had all but disappeared, and it took a single conversation with Hinata to fix it. She may be as bright as fire, but she didn’t burn away his discomfort, but washed it away like the gentle tides of the great sea. 

_That’s what’s so special about her. That’s why I’m so protective of her, more than any of my friends,_ he justified in his head. 

**_You are delusional_** a voice inside of him noted suddenly. 

_What do you mean_ he demanded. 

There was no reply. 

“So, here we are, two people who don’t have a clue about love,” he said after a while. 

Hinata giggled beside him. “I don’t know, I think I’m getting a pretty good idea of what love is.” 

He looked at her questioningly “Yeah?” 

She looked back at him and beamed. “Yeah. I have someone showing me the ropes, after all.” 

_Probably Kurenai._

“Well, I don’t have anyone doing that for me now,” he lamented, then added, “I’ll just have to wait for my guardian angel to explain it to me later on.” 

“Guardian angel?”

“You know, the person who writes the Notes. I’ve told you about them before, ya know. Everything I know about everything, I learned from them.” 

He didn’t like talking about the Notes to people much. He never discussed them, and when he did, it was mostly in passing with Hinata, Iruka and Kakashi, all of whom knew about the Notes. 

A sudden memory hit him. 

“Remember you told me to concentrate on Sasuke and ignore the Notes a bit? Back when you first saw the Notes?” he asked. 

“Y-yes?” 

“Well, it’s been a year, and the guardian angel has been writing me Notes again. I was just thinking, we’re done with the Akatsuki, we’re done with Sasuke, we’re done with most of the post-war cleaning up. So, why not look for who the guardian angel is?” 

Hinata smiled up at him, and simply said, “Yeah. Maybe.” 

He looked down at the notebook on her lap, which she had turned over when he had first neared her. “You know, I still want to meet this guy. You know, just to make sure he’s not someone to worry about.” 

“Don’t worry, Naruto-kun,” she assured him, a twinkle as bright as a star in her eyes. “You don’t have to worry about him hurting me or anything. He’s just like you, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been so long between updates, I've just been swarmed, and it's hard to have the energy to write fics when you're exhausted from writing a 20 page calculus paper based on a topic you barely understand, and the worst part is, I love both writing fics and calculus, but there's just too much! Too many letters! Where did the numbers go? Why is there a long, curly s everywhere? Why is d everywhere? AGH! So, sorry if frequency and quality has taken a bit of a dip recently. I'm getting more free time soon, so hopefully things'll look up soon.


	22. Dancing (Blank Period)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, people! Hope y'all will enjoy this one!

They went on a tracking mission together to stomp out a criminal gang. Sent together on several important missions as emissaries. Partnered during a massive operation to wipe out a major mafia in the capital’s underworld. 

Hinata was no idiot. She knew it wasn’t a coincidence. 

When Naruto joked that they kept getting partnered together because of how well they worked together, she agreed. People did tell her that Naruto seemed more focused and well behaved when by her side, and if their performance during these missions were any indication, then Shino was right when he drily referred to them as “quite the power couple.” But she also knew that there was more at play than just Naruto’s behaviour. 

They were all… teasing her. 

It was frustrating. At every opportunity, everyone would try to isolate her with him. Whenever they were out in public, their friends would shield them from Naruto’s fangirls. Those little actions were definitely well appreciated, but it made her uncomfortable. She knew that, to an extent, they were just trying to help her out. That her friends and comrades were rooting for them to be a thing. But that was the issue. 

Hinata was a Hyuuga, armed with the Byakugan. Reading people and their feelings was a requirement, and though she was never quite as good at it as other Hyuuga, she could tell that Naruto’s heart already belonged to someone. Could see the way his eyes softened and were filled with a type of gentle fire she recognised from seeing Asuma and Kurenai — not simple passion, but a kind of calm, eternal warmth. Whenever they were all out, in spite of his loud and boisterous behaviour, there would always be that moment when he would stop, grow quiet, and look like he was deep in thought. He would have a silly little smile, one that even he wouldn’t notice, as he gazed at something far off. 

Whenever he was asked by people about a potential girlfriend, he looked awkward and shifty, as though he was hiding something.

When she had realised what her feelings towards him meant, she had convinced herself that hers was a love that would never be reciprocated, because for Naruto, there was only ever Sakura, and for a time, Hinata was convinced that Sakura may have been developing something deeper towards him. She told herself that it was okay, that she wouldn’t get in the way, that she would offer him her friendship and support instead. The pain she felt whenever a fangirl smiled at him a little too brightly, or when one got too close to him, convinced her otherwise. But she was a shinobi. She would just have to endure. 

And though now she knew that Naruto and Sakura would always hold platonic, familial love towards each other, it was clear that Naruto had someone else held in his heart. Another object of his desires. Discovering who it was slowly became one of her greatest fears. 

It would be for the best for her to forget about it and move on. 

Yet even now, during a function at the Kazekage’s estate, she couldn’t tear her gaze off of him. Even now, she couldn’t help tracing the way he seemed to silently contemplate something as he smiled down at one of the flowers the Sunagakure event organisers had brought out. It was the same soft smile he always seemed to develop when they talked about his guardian angel. 

What if it was his “guardian angel” that he kept mentioning to her? Sure, she had begun writing the Messages regularly after the war, but it was absurd to think that he was in love with a mysterious figure sending him random letters.

What if she told him that it was her? Surely he would be furious that she had been lying to him all this time. 

No, it was unlikely. Perhaps there was someone else. Someone she hadn’t seen yet. 

_He’s probably thinking about her again. Or him. My god, what if it’s Sasuke? No, right?_

“You know,” a voice said behind her, “it’s very rare to see Uzumaki Naruto looking like that.” 

She turned, and tilted her head mildly in question. “Gaara-san?”

The Kazekage walked up to her, nodded his head in greeting, then looked over at Naruto, who was woken from his dreamy silence by a group of guests. 

Hinata felt slightly uncomfortable with addressing the Kazekage as simply “Gaara-san,” but it was a request, one that was made multiple times over the year and a half since the end of the war. They would bump into each other very frequently, partly due to Hinata’s involvement with Naruto’s recovery and their subsequent ‘partnership,’ partly due to Gaara constantly gravitating towards her friend group — also because of Naruto. 

_”Please, just Gaara is fine,”_ he had insisted. _”I don’t want such formalities between friends, and any friend of Naruto’s is a friend of mine, after all.”_

 _”I take that to mean that no one calls you by your title, then,”_ she had replied… in her head. 

She was more confident and assertive. She wasn’t Kiba. 

“Naruto’s always so loud. So fast. It’s nice to see him on those rare occasions where he just slows down,” he explained, nodding towards the very forceful way Naruto seemed to be laughing along with a bunch of nobles. “I’ve only seen him do that on very rare occasions.” 

Hinata was about to agree, but a voice spoke in the back of her head. 

_He’s always calm and genuine with you, though. Only with you._

She took a deep breath, politely told that voice to stand the hell down, and smiled at Gaara. “Yes, it’s nice to see him take a break from having to appear as the hero all the time.” 

It wasn’t like her to discuss Naruto so candidly with other people, but Naruto made it clear that Gaara was a close friend. And Gaara had demonstrated to her that he was more than just another fan. 

“Hmm, he does seem to greatly enjoy your company, though,” Gaara said after a while. 

Hinata didn’t reply. 

They watched as he grinned awkwardly, rubbing his neck in embarrassment as they presumably rained down meaningless flattery upon him, while Konohamaru, who had begged to come along with his team, was nearby, nodding and trying to pick up hints. Despite his gift to make friends with literally anyone, Naruto was still unused to the manner with which nobles seemed to suck up to him. He had, in fact, once confided in her that he had no idea what to do when they were being so obviously disingenuous, and aside from empty words of encouragement, she had been unable to do anything until a few pieces of advice popped into her head later that night, which she prompt put into the next day’s Messages. Hinata could tell that his eyes kept drifting back towards the window, his body language clearly screaming “I’m uncomfortable.” 

Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?

“You’ll have to excuse me, Gaara-san,” she said, smiling briefly at him as she began to walk forward, towards Naruto. 

“Off to Naruto’s rescue as usual, then,” he noted, nodding his head briefly as he signalled that he had no objections. 

Hinata walked over to Naruto rather briskly, doing to her to stay as calm and neutral as possible. Her plan was simple: she would insert herself into the group and use her status as a Hyuuga to steer the conversation away from Naruto in order to give him an escape route. Her recent missions assisting with the villages post-war has taught her to be better at such functions — on top of her duties as daughter of the Hyuuga clan head — and as much as she disliked interacting with so many nobles, she would take this blow for him. 

Just as she always did. 

She paused, halfway there. Her eyes dropped from the sight of the socially inept Naruto, swept past Konohamaru, who was playing idly with his scarf, down to the floor. Biting her lip, she raised her head again only to look around the hall, taking in the dancing pairs and the guests milling around. Ino, along with a couple Konoha delegates who had come with them, were laughing with a group of Suna officials by the bar. Shikamaru and Temari were awkwardly slow dancing near the edge of the hall — a diplomatic courtesy, they had insisted, before dancing nearly the entire night away. Kiba was flirting with a group of Suna shinobi while Shino appeared to be in deep conversation with Kankurou. 

None of their comrades were paying the slightest attention to Naruto, and none of them would even consider saving Naruto from such a trivial issue. And yet all of them were willing to throw away their lives for him, just like her. 

She shook her head slightly. It wasn’t her responsibility to bail him out every time he faced a bit of difficulty. Gaara was right; she was constantly going to Naruto, trying to protect him from every small thing. Perhaps she was using her newfound confidence to compensate for all the pain she had let him suffer through during his childhood? Surely, that’s not a very healthy outlook?

 _I helped him out with the Messages,_ a part of her argued. _I sent him my support and helped him get through the Academy. This has nothing to do with me feeling guilty. I did all that I could._

_But what happens if he knows it’s been you?_ another voice in her mind countered. _He may be obsessed with his “guardian angel” now, but that’s mostly from the thrill of the mystery. If he found out it was you, or if you tell him, he’ll just be betrayed. We’ve been lying to him for years, after all._

She couldn’t argue against this part. If she were to keep going like this, maybe confess with more aggressive romantic intentions, and attempt to build a relationship with him, surely he would be furious that she kept such a big detail from him? He was bound to find out eventually, after all. It was such a big deal to him, and he has spent many a day speaking to her about the impact this guardian angel had on him, but if she were tell him that all that time, she was sitting there under his nose, wouldn’t he resent her for lying about how she had no idea about these “Notes?” Surely, he wouldn’t appreciate that despite all of her help, she still decided to be anonymous, when objectively, there wasn’t really much of a reason to?

Why had she kept it a secret for so long, anyways? Why did she have to do this to herself?

So what then, keep it a secret, keep hiding her feelings and her role in his confusing life, and just stay there forever in the background, just as a friend? Someone who just keeps on inexplicably sacrificing herself for him, someone who just happens to blush brighter than the rising sun and smile a smile bigger than the earth whenever they spot him? 

_But what if he asked me? What if he extends the branch? Then there’s actually proof that I might stand a chance. But then what if my feelings for him are stronger than his are for me. What if I’m a rebound, something to help him get over whoever he’s always obsessed with? What if he finds out and thinks that I’m some sort of creepy stalker?_

_Why is this so hard?_

“Hinata!” 

_Oh._

She looked up immediately, her eyes instantly landing on Naruto, who was looking directly at her, his grin brighter than the stars, his eyes sparkling with joy. His smile made a stark contrast with his smile from a moment ago, which had been so forced and flimsy. This one was the one that made your heart melt and make you feel as though you are the only one to exist in the world. 

Why was he smiling at her like that? 

Excusing himself from his “fans,” he practically skipped over to her, with expression and demeanour reminiscent of an excited puppy. 

“Hinaaata!” he said in a sing-song voice that did little to mask his delight. “I finally fooouund yooooou!” 

“What, were you looking for me?” 

“Of course!” He beamed at her, then after glancing around at the crowd, who were all staring at him, clearly keen to jump into conversation with him (Konohamaru was trying to act like a bodyguard by holding them back and miserably failing), straightened his back, extended his hand to her with a dramatic flourish and very seriously asked, “May I have this dance?” 

He then quickly leaned in and added, “Save me from them. Please?”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“I’ve had my frustrations in life,” Kankurou said, wrinkling his nose. “But this, now this takes the cake.” 

Gaara simply nodded slowly as together, they watched Naruto and Hinata move very stiffly in one place. Hinata seemed incredibly flustered, her blush obvious to everyone, and her grip seemed to be very loose, as though she was afraid of making proper contact. Naruto, on the other hand, seemed incredibly happy, to the point where he was practically radiating joy around the hall, making many stop and watch the young couple dancing. His grip, in contrast to hers, was tight, and he seemed to want to hold her even closer to himself, as though scared that she might turn to vapour and disappear at any moment. He too, was sporting a blush, though he seemed oblivious to it. His awkwardness seemed to come mainly from his lack of experience, judging from the number of times he seemed to accidentally step on her feet, as opposed to Hinata’s stiffness, which originated purely from her embarrassment. 

“You may say that from observing this particular scene,” Shino, who had wandered over to Gaara with Kankurou, noted, “for me, on the other hand, this constitutes a standard Tuesday, to borrow a saying from Kiba. The reason is because they act like this constantly, and both seem to be completely oblivious to each other’s feelings.” 

“Yeah, and I’ll bet my puppets Naruto is oblivious to his own feelings, looking at that wild grin of his,” Kankurou snorted. “Seriously, how can you stand this?” 

“I advise the use of ear plugs and sunglasses.” 

“I think it’s nice,” Gaara interjected, noticing Naruto giggling, and Hinata smiling sheepishly, her infamous blush subsiding. “They seem happy.” 

“Well, they could be happier, if you know what I mean,” Kankurou said, the hint of a smirk playing at his lips. “Do you reckon that her entire body blushes? What do you think would happen if the two would—”

“You would do well to refrain from speaking like that about Hinata,” Shino cut in. His voice was quiet, but there was a hint of indignation in it, and Gaara couldn’t help but note the faint, menacing waves of killer intent rolling off of him.

Ignoring Kankurou’s mumbled apology, he turned his full attention back to the pair. Naruto had muttered something into Hinata’s ear, and the two of them began laughing. Hinata seemed to be a lot more comfortable now, and they swayed with a lot more ease than they did previously. 

“I wonder what it’s like,” he said to himself, his voice barely audible. It was less than a whisper, but it made Gaara feel slightly wistful. He watched Naruto’s animated expressions as he rambled on about something, with Hinata nodding along, laughing and making comments as they moved around. It was less of a dance and more of a conversation, he noticed, albeit a conversation with both speakers embracing each other and moving around. 

They _did_ look happy. 

He suppressed a smile at the memory that broke its way into the forefront of his mind. This very morning, when the delegation from Konoha had arrived, he had spent an hour or two catching up Naruto in the Suna green houses, Kankurou and Temari nearby, chatting about their lives and responsibilities as they took in the vast variety of plants the village kept in store. Naruto spent the entire time recounting his latest mission with Hinata, complete with a reenactment of Hinata’s battle. 

_”And she went **bam** and slammed that guy into the ground with her chakra!”_ he had said excitedly while flapping his arms around, apparently imitating the main who had their chakra network nearly destroyed by Hinata. _”She was so incredible, you should have been there! Her hair flowed all around her while she did it, too. So graceful and precise!”_

 _”You sound like a lovesick puppy,”_ Temari had called out. 

_”Oh no, she’s just really amazing,”_ Naruto had waved her off. _”I really got careless this mission and she saved my ass, ya know. As usual, really.”_

Gaara had nodded along, remembering then about the numerous times Naruto had described Hinata’s rescues, including during that dreaded time during Pain’s invasion. 

He could still remember that hollow look in his eyes when Naruto first explained what Hinata had done. He wasn’t that great at reading emotions, but even he could tell how devastated Naruto was during that whole conversation, a stricken look that could not be compared to the still rather gloomy expression Naruto had on his face for the rest of the explanation of Konoha’s destruction. Gaara himself was quite confused throughout his experience, but a conversation with Temari had cleared it up. 

_”Sounds like you have yourself a guardian angel.”_ he had replied in the greenhouse. 

_”Oh that I do,”_ he said, winking. _”That I do.”_

He wondered what it must have felt like for hours afterwards, right up to the start of the event. It was one concept which he had been thinking over since his fateful battle with Naruto years ago, and was coupled with endless analysis of the old Suna fables Temari used to tell him. Then, he had come to the conclusion that Naruto and his siblings must have been guardian angels for him, and for the most part, he has stuck with that idea. 

Still, he couldn’t help but frown slightly as he noticed Hinata flush in embarrassment at something Naruto said, before leaning a bit and whispering something in his ear, causing him to burst out in uncontrollable giggles.

 _This is something different, isn’t it._  
______________________________________________________________________________

“Stop it,” she giggled, trying desperately to keep from full on laughing. Despite him practically making everything around them dissolve into nothing, some part of her was still aware of the countless eyes watching them, scrutinising them, judging them. “Stop it with that story!” 

“But you looked so cute, ya know!” Naruto said, pouting. “That summoned creature was maybe four times your size. You looked like a cute little toy next to it!” 

“I did not,” she insisted, looking away defiantly but nevertheless sneaking a few peaks at the mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Well, at least it was easy to stop. Can you imagine what it could have done to that poor village?” 

“I don’t need to imagine, there was no way we weren’t gonna stop it, between your amazing skills and me and Kurama’s power.” 

She smiled graciously, agreeing with the second part of his reply. It was true that there was nothing that could challenge him now, but as for herself… 

“Keep in mind, you pretty much knocked it out in one hit,” Naruto said grinning at her, and, as though he had read her mind, added, “I was pretty much worthless there.” 

“No you weren’t,” she stated, a bit startled at how well he could always read her thoughts, though not completely shocked. 

_Still,_ a side of her that spent a little too much time with Kiba thought, _would be nice if he could see my feelings in my eyes._

It was remarkable how Naruto was capable of seeing every emotion and sensation that was going through her, even hunger, but failed to notice the extent of her admiration for him. 

“Ah, well, Kakashi-sensei says that moral support is always important,” he said, chuckling. 

She only nodded in reply, and as the song changed, couldn’t help but sigh a bit, and lean in closer to him, a move which he seemed to subconsciously encourage as he subtly moved closer to her. 

Despite how close they had become, their proximity, and the way he was holding onto her, felt so surreal, even now that she eased into it. She allowed herself to relax a bit in his presence, and their dance, which had started off as though a particularly feisty yet uncoordinated dog was wiggling around a tree, became a lot more natural as she allowed herself to sway more easily and Naruto seemed to calm down a bit, though his hold was still as tight as ever. While at first, she couldn’t help but hear the muttering of the crowd observing them, now, it was as if everything had melted away. As though all that mattered was that he was holding her and that she was holding him. 

And now, as they danced, his hand on her waist, hers on his shoulder, moving as one unit, she couldn’t help but think that ultimately, no matter how difficult her situation seemed, no matter how valid she may believe her fears about being called out as a creep, a liar, or anything else, all that really mattered was that he was there. 

Right there in front of her. 

He always made her feel so much calmer and braver. 

As the music slowed, and became deeper, more passionate, and their steps became smaller, and his laughter faded, and they looked into each other's eyes, it suddenly became all so easy. 

What do the Messages matter? She doesn’t have to say anything about them right away, anyways. 

There wasn’t a problem at all. She just had to seize the moment. 

“Naruto-kun,” she whispered, so softly that she could barely hear it herself. 

“Yeah?” He sounded as cheerful as he always did, but somehow calmer, far more genuine. 

“I… I just wanted to say… you, ah, look really good tonight.” 

_Alright, staring off slow._

He stared at her, surprised, then reacted. She expected him to boast as usual, maybe laugh and make a joke of it, but to her shock, he _blushed._

“Oh, well, thanks,” he mumbled, clearly looking very pleased, which caught her completely off guard. “Y-You look be… ah, you too, ya know!” 

“Th-thanks.” 

The two of them continued to dance, though they both avoided eye contact. 

“Great party,” he said after a minute. 

“Oh, yes, very good.” 

Silence. 

“Did you try out the food?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Ah, well, it was really good too, ya know.” He chuckled awkwardly, but it died off quickly. 

She finally looked up to find that he had already returned his gaze to her, only to avert his eyes quickly as she made contact. It was as though her entire world was flipped around. Naruto had always been boastful in a humorous way, often in a mock tough-guy manner, and she had complimented him many times, albeit in regards to his combat abilities and perseverance. To see that one single comment about his appearance had affected him like that… well…

It was as Kurenai always said. There was something about Naruto which gave Hinata the courage and comfort to push forward despite her doubts. 

“Y-you dance really well, too. You know.” 

“Ah. Same. I mean, same to you, that is…” Naruto looked very flustered, as though he had been recovering finally and was struck down again, and despite her own embarrassment, Hinata felt a part of her swell with pleasure at seeing that she had rattled him. 

“Where did you learn how to dance?” 

“Oh, umm, you, I guess. I’m just following your lead, ya know.”

Despite her own massive blush, she gave him what she hoped was a confident yet humble smile. 

“Oh, I think you’re underestimating yourself, Naruto-kun. You’re quite good.” 

_Is he embarrassed because of the compliment? But I just heard someone say that he looked good before, and he didn’t seem to react. Is…?_

Was it her? 

“How has, err, your guardian angel been?” she asked, trying to create conversation to buy herself time to think of a line of attack. 

“Ah, well, the usual, ya know.” he answered, still sounding as though he was caught completely off guard. “Getting Notes on really helpful stuff. It’s like being back in the Academy.” For a moment, he regained his usual grin, before adding, “well, except for, you know, you.” 

“Me?” 

“Well, you’re a lot more confident, and, uhh, noticeable.” 

“Oh, I-I see.” 

“No, no, I didn’t mean it in a bad way!” he hastily said, his eyes widening, and she took a moment to appreciate that he was afraid that he had offended her, when he usually was endearingly tactless. “It’s just, well, you’re not outspoken like Ino. I mean, you speak your mind, but you’re.. Uhh,,, so graceful and… uhh… back then you just sort of, well…” 

“Blended in with the wallpaper?” she supplied innocently. 

“Yes. I mean, no! I mean, well, no, absolutely not!” he almost yelled, and seemed slightly panicky, but he calmed down slightly upon seeing Hinata giggling.

“It’s okay, I know,” she assured him once she calmed down. “I’ve never been the most liveliest.” 

“Well, maybe not, but you’re… you’re…” he briefly removed the hand holding on to hers to snap his fingers before quickly grabbing her hand again. “You’re like ramen!” 

She blinked. “I’m cheap and full of salt?” 

“NO! You’re full of warmth, love and comfort!” he declared rather aggressively, before plowing on, speaking so fast that it seemed like he wasn’t thinking his words through.. “You’re reliable, always there when needed, you can be spicy and fiery when you need to be, supportive, you’re really hot and really beautiful and just a really incredible thing to ever be eate— I mean, a really great person to know, ya know.” 

She blinked again, unsure if she caught everything in that last part, but smiled in an indulgent manner, finding it heart warming and slightly disturbing that he would revert back to ramen to make an analogy. 

“Ramen’s also really unhealthy,” she pointed out. 

“I could have nothing but ramen for the rest of my life and be the happiest man in the world,” he defended. 

She turned scarlet at his words, but Naruto, who seemed to have failed to see the implications of what he had just said when connected with his metaphor, simply kept going. “And besides, ramen is full of incredible things that make you feel all warm and fulfilled. I mean, ramen has naruto in it, doesn’t it? Eh, Hinata, are you alright?” 

“Fine,” she said hoarsely, but it took all of her willpower not to faint on the spot. Even so, she was rock still and looked redder than a tomato. “Perfectly fine.”  
______________________________________________________________________________

“You looked like you had fun.” 

Hinata didn’t glance up at Kiba as he and Shino came to sit down on the bench beside her. She was busy watching Naruto chatting with Gaara, and was clutching a glass of water in her hands. Naruto had escorted her to sit down, waving off an eager-to-help Konohamaru as he did so, too dense to realise what it was that he had said to make her react that way, and upon her insistence, he had reluctantly rejoined the party, though only after ten minutes of fretting over her. 

“My god,” Kiba said, grin dropping and eyes widening comically. “Our poor Hinata, she’s blushed so hard all of the blood has been drained from her brain to her skin! Naruto broke her, the damn bastard!” 

“I don’t think that joke is particularly funny, Kiba,” Shino said reproachfully. “The reason is because Hinata doesn’t seem to be in the mood.” 

“Ah, right. Sorry, Hinata.”

Hinata merely nodded, but she wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying. She was too busy thinking about her failed decision to try and do what everyone was telling her to do, to make a move on Naruto. She couldn’t help but think about how close she was to making some progress, at least until Naruto’s ramen analogy derailed everything completely. 

While in his hands, she felt like the world was her oyster. Now, all of her doubts came whooshing back into her once more. That Naruto wasn’t interested. That he was in love with someone else. That he would eventually learn the truth about his guardian angel and resent her for it. 

Could she do it again? Try and try? Was she really up to the task?

 _I was only brave enough to do it because of Naruto’s comforting presence,_ she thought to herself glumly. _We were dancing, and I got swept away by it all. I can’t come up with a confession plan. Not without his strength._

 _”Your strength doesn’t come from Naruto. He’s just a stimulus that helps you bring it out. Your strength is your own.”_

That was something that Neji had once told her. Was he right? 

_But what if, after gathering the strength, it doesn’t work out? What if…_

_”Off to Naruto’s rescue as usual, then,”_ is what Gaara had said. It could just have been the Kazekage’s attempt at humour, but he wasn’t wrong. She always seemed strongest when someone, especially Naruto, was in trouble. 

Could she only tap into this strength in emergencies? 

_No,_ she told herself. _I’ve come a long way. I’ve…_

_... just got to do it._

_“He does seem to greatly enjoy your company.”_

She got up from the bench, clenching her fists.

“I’m going for it,” she said quietly. 

Her teammates also stood up and turned to gawk at her. 

“I’m going to pursue Naruto-kun,” she said again, now more fiercely, with more determination, and looked at Kiba and Shino, waiting for their reactions. “In _that_ way.” 

Kiba’s face burst into a massive grin, and he hugged her. Shino following suit, also smiling. 

“Ah, finally built up the courage, did ya?” Kiba said as he and Shino finally pulled away. He grabbed Shino by the shoulders and pretended to wipe away at a fake tear. “Just look at our baby Hinata, all ready to chase after love. Ah, they grow up so fast!” 

“That they do,” Shino noted quietly, but he gave her an encouraging look through his glasses. “So, what’s the plan?” 

Hinata rubbed her hands together, looking around the hall, desperately looking for inspiration. She noticed Konohamaru next to Naruto, once more playing idly with his scarf, and, as though an arrow from heaven was shot down into her head, a sudden memory struck her. 

_Yes… that should work…_

“Knitting.” 

Shino and Kiba looked at each other, then back at Hinata. 

“I’m sorry, what?” they said, almost in unison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My New Year's resolutions are: sleep more, drink more water, and make less puns. I've failed two of them already, and the other one ain't looking so good.
> 
> What are yours?


	23. Fox and Angel, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is really one done for fun, as sort of an intro to set up next chapter, which is proving to be very difficult to write. Still, I hope that it will turn out deserving of your time and energy!
> 
> Enjoy~

**Seven years ago**

Snow?

She stopped walking abruptly, looking up at the morning sky to see miniscule white particles slowly drift down towards the ground. The sun had not quite yet broken across the horizon, leaving the still lit street lamps to illuminate the streets under the grey sky, from which the snowflakes, tumbling, dancing, made their way to the sleepy village. She watched, fascinated, as the first few flakes gradually fell onto the gravel at her feet. Snowfall wasn’t an annual occurrence in Konoha, where the moderate climate meant that while the winters could be slightly chilly, there was no real difference in the environment surrounding them. Why, the last time it had snowed, actually snowed, was the year when she had first entered the Academy, where the day that saw the heaviest snowfall in many years coincided with her first day. 

It was now the last winter before she was to take the genin exams and potentially graduate, and Hinata could not help but pause on her way to the Academy, and wonder if it was an omen of some sort. The light snowfall, caught in the arrow street in between the simple shops and bars, still closed until the day properly started, reminded her of the veil of snow that had obscured the building when she had first arrived, her hands tightly clutching that of Ko, who had to remind her to maintain the grace and composure of a Hyuuga before gently but firmly prying his hand out of her grasp and turning away, leaving her to walk the final steps to the ninja school on her own. 

Gazing upwards, she tracked the progress of a lone snowflake as it fell, its trajectory taking it directly in front of her. For a single moment, she was overtaken by the sudden and childish temptation to stick her tongue out and catch the flake at its tip. She almost did, in fact, and opened her mouth, ready to do so. 

She stopped, stiffening, and the flake drifted past her face, lazily landing on the ground between her feet as she closed her mouth quickly and looked behind her in fear. Even if her father had stopped sending her to school accompanied by Ko or another Hyuuga after that first day as part of his strategy to toughen her up, it was difficult to tell if he wasn’t sending clan members to tail her and report back to him any act of cowardice or of a hint of unbecoming behaviour. 

Momentarily, she contemplated using her Byakugan to check, but then, if there was anyone following her, she was sure they’d go back and tell her father and the elders of her anxiety and paranoia. Though she couldn’t help but think that they might report her not using the dojutsu as evidence that she has no ninja instincts or self-awareness anyways. 

She decided to keep going. 

Ultimately, it fell into the river-long list of unfortunate aspects of being born to the Hyuuga, especially as the first born. You were always watched. They always knew. Every incident, every moment of weakness, every thought — they knew. The only reprieve, the only semblance of freedom was when she was safely in the Academy, and that only because the teachers were watching her for the clan as well. At least, they were, until recently. 

Until she was disowned as heiress. Now, it doesn’t matter what she does at school, because they have no more hope for her. She went from being surrounded by all seeing eyes, filled with disapproval as they watched every action, every twitch of the muscle, every movement of the eye. And who was to say that they still weren’t doing that, keeping the clan embarrassment in check? 

Adjusting the small bag she carried on her shoulder, she continued her path towards the Academy, squeezing through narrow alleys and the backs of shops as she took the route that would risked the least amount of exposure, avoiding the larger streets in preference for the shadowy areas that few peaked their heads into save for throwing out trash. It was better for her that way, fewer eyes on her, plus… 

She paused by a series of trash cans that were threatening to spill over at the back of a rather prominent restaurant, and slid her bag off of her shoulders. Almost immediately, she heard a soft barking noise, followed by several squeakier barks, and a couple of meows as well. Right on schedule. Smiling to herself, she opened her bag and dug inside of it, pulling out a carefully wrapped bag just as a group of dirty street dogs and even cats slipped out of dark crevices and shadows and showed themselves, crowding around her. One of the cats, an older, battle worn male with a torn ear and tail, purred contentedly as it rubbed itself on the side of her boot, and giggling, she knelt down to stroke it on the head before fumbling to untie the bag. Pulling off the towel, she laid out the food she had ‘procured’ back at home, she giggled as the strays appreciatively nipped her fingers and went to her to be stroked or petted, purring, panting and wagging tails as they did so, before going for the food. 

“See you tomorrow! Enjoy your food!” she whispered as she stood up, brushing off stray hairs and replacing her bag on her shoulder before walking off, glancing side to side as she did so. She had, with great difficulty and much muttering, asked Kiba about whether the Inuzuka clan could do something about the strays, but he had simply laughed her off, talking about “survival of the fittest.” So, despite Ko’s great disapproval, she adopted them, at least, in a way. They’d never be allowed in the compound, but life wasn’t too difficult for a stray in Konoha anyways, and strays had numerous benefactors. 

Still, she couldn’t help but consider them her own. She wondered what they’d do once she graduated. 

If she graduated. 

Finally getting out of the alley and into a stretch of open street before her destination, she sped up, trying to make it to school as fast as she could. Even during her first couple of years, she tried her best to come as early as possible to the Academy, and leave as late as possible. Nowadays, she pushed those boundaries as far as she could, often arriving so early that she’d be the first in the building, and leaving so late that she’d travel home under the cover of the stars and the moon. 

Avoiding her clan was only one reason. Getting there before _him_ was another. 

She almost ran through the entrance to the Academy grounds, such was her desperation to get there, but was stopped at the fence by a sight that made her gasp and nearly slip. Incredulous, her eyes widened at the sigh of a young boy, a classmate, sitting at the lone swing and watching the side of the building, cackling to himself. A part of her wasn’t really surprised; one of the reasons why she began coming earlier and earlier was to make it before that particular classmate of hers, who suddenly became very invested in spending as much time as her in class and was similarly coming to school at absurd times of the day, a stark departure from his previous indifference towards promptness. 

Her surprised gasp must have caught his attention, because his head whipped around, his gleeful face freezing at the sight of her. She blushed. 

“Oh, it’s just you,” he said dismissively, turning away to chuckle quietly to himself once more. 

Though his focus moved away, she did not move quite yet, remaining rooted on the spot as she stared at Naruto, pushing off the ground lightly so that the swing swayed back and forth. It was a subtle, but hypnotic motion that she could not seem to tear her eyes off. This was it, her plan was ruined; he’d have checked his desk by now and noticed the absence of a note. If she now went up and a note suddenly appeared, he’d suspect, and if she avoided doing so, he’s still suspect. 

_He might just forget about me, though. He only seems to know I exist if I’m right in front of him._

She wanted to ask him what he was doing, check on why he was camping out in front of the school, laughing to himself quietly. Stepping forward a bit, she raised her hand, and opened her mouth, only for a bolt of panic to hit her in the heart, forcing her mouth closed, her hand drooping back to her side. Clenching her fists slightly, she took a couple more small steps toward him, and opened her mouth once more, intent on asking, but once more, anxiety got the best of her. 

_Maybe if he prompted me…_

She decided to grab his attention, make a sound, anything to initiate a conversation of sorts, one where she could organically ask what he was doing. Putting a fist to her mouth, she tried coughing to signal her presence — but it was too quiet. She tried again, slightly louder — nothing. Naruto gave no reaction, no indication that he heard her. Her heart sank; would she have to come up to him directly and make a request? 

“Oi, the heck are you doing, standing in one place?” 

She gasped, stepping back a bit, as Naruto’s words struck her like cannonballs. He had whipped around and stared directly at her, confusion etched in his face as he took in the way she awkwardly stood, trying to avoid eye contact. Looking downwards, she realised that her few steps forward had really been miniature shuffles that barely allowed her to travel any distance. 

“Oh, I, uhh.. I j-just, umm…” she muttered quietly, bringing her index fingers together and pushing them against each other. “N-Naruto-kun, wh-what are you…. doing? At this, umm, time?” 

“Oh, just a stake-out, ya know!” he said quite cheerfully, grinning sheepishly as he craned his head to look around her at the fence entrance. “I’m gonna catch my penpal! Err…. I’ve asked you about this person, right?” 

She could only nod as a blush sprouted on her cheeks, but Naruto merely looked away, rubbing his hands together in excitement. 

“Well, they’ve gotta come at some point, don’t they?” His chest swelled up, and a manic gleam glowed in his eyes as he spoke, not to her, but up to the sky. “I’ve been here all night! I’m gonna catch this person, and figure out why they’re doing all this!” 

_All… night?_

An intense internal conflict raged within her. It would be cruel to hide this information any longer from him, considering the lengths that he seemed willing to go in order to discover his mysterious helper, but at the same time, revealing the truth would mean conjuring up a bravery that she simply did not possess. Even worse, it would mean ruining Naruto’s impressions on who the Messages were really from. 

She didn’t want to see that look of disappointment that she knew would mar his features if he ever found out that all that help and encouragement came from someone as pathetic as her. Worse still, he might ask her to stop being so cowardly, stop the Messages. To just be direct. Despite all the surveillance back at home, she was always safe to write the Messages in her room, because they all merely thought they were notes for herself. With no one to write to, she would lose that escape. Lose all the amusing and heart-warming replies that he would always write back, all of which she kept in a wicker basket that had been her last gift from her mother.. 

“B-but, why?” she couldn’t help but ask, and was surprised by her own boldness. “Wh-why would you go that far? It’s just one p-person.” 

“I wanna thank them, obviously,” he said, looking slightly confused and annoyed at the question, as though he was being forced to answer the questions of a rather precocious toddler. “That’s what you do, isn’t it? Thank people for help.” 

As he looked away, she couldn’t help but smile at his proclamation, albeit rather timidly, before taking a deep breath and continuing on her path to the school building, her usual depressive manner taking over as soon as her eyes left him. Her fingers clenched tightly around the straps of her bag, and her mind stayed fixated on two things: the flame that burned in Naruto’s eyes as he made his declaration, and the thought of today’s Message, folder neatly in one of her bag’s pockets. 

He never really suspected her, anyways. He would merely think that the letter arrived after school the previous day, when he was at home, or else in the bathroom. 

_And really,_ she thought miserably, _why would he? Suspect me?_

She wasn’t someone who sent people advice or encouragement. She wasn’t someone who ever had the courage to stand up for anyone. She was kind only when not required to stick her neck out, was caring only when it was convenient to her. 

That was the kind of person she was, she thought bitterly as she walked past Naruto’s line of vision and through the front doors.

 _I don’t deserve his admiration. Or his appreciation._

She placed the Message under his desk that day with violently shaking hands. 

She spent the rest of the day trying hard to keep from staring at his gloomy, disappointed look. And failing. 

As she always did.  
______________________________________________________________________________

**Today**

Hinata couldn’t help but shiver in the slight cold as she made her way through the streets, taking her preferred path from her home to the Academy. Walking swiftly, she maneuvered around the tight corners and walked in the growing darkness of the side streets, illuminated by the lights shining from the windows as the villagers lit their lamps for the evening. Through these windows, Hinata could spot the decorations adorning kitchens, hear singing from excited families, and couldn’t help the smile that lit up her features, lit by the general cheerfulness that seemed to seep out of every corner of Konoha. The warmth generated by the festive excitement was comforting, and though she still had to stoke a bit of chakra within her to stay warm in the winter weather, her heart was nevertheless fluttering as the delightful atmosphere which blanketed the village.

It had not snowed this winter. Looking up at the beautifully fiery evening sky, where the dull oranges that were steadily growing fainter seemed like a splash of colour from Sai’s palette upon a canvas of dark blue, she sighed in reminiscence of the last winter where Konoha had been blessed with snow. At the time two years ago, under the cover of the bleak, steely skies, the snow that fell upon them like ash had made their already miserable year worse, adding more mess to accompany the constricting snakes of despair and grief that seemed to strangle them. That particular winter was unusually cold and saw unusually heavy snowfall, burying them in white while they buried they fallen, drowning them in frost while they drowned in their sorrow. 

She too, felt like she was being dragged down, pushed down, into a world of grey and white. She was forcibly reminded by the bleak, uniform colour of the world she had been trapped in during her Infinite Tsukuyomi dream, and though in her dream, everything had turned black, the sensations felt the same. The disorientation, the sense that her meltings had melted into a single, solid abyss, the sense of loneliness as everyone took refuge in their house, finding solitude in their pain. 

Naruto’s snowball had saved her. Just like with the Infinite Tsukuyomi, he saved her. The snowball fights had brought life and joy to the cold and deadened village, and at the moment, while she almost skipped on her way to the Academy, she became just a bit more wistful, wishing that the snow would return, so that he and she could be there, on the field, duelling it out on the snow — though in a more fair fight, as back then, Naruto was seriously disadvantaged, as the absence of an arm left his snowballs as simple handfuls of snow. 

She’d repay him, this year. She would repay him for all of his kindness, for all that he did, and tell her the truth about what she felt, how she really felt about him. She’d fulfill the promise that she made herself during Gaara’s gala, and show to herself that she was strong enough to make the move. 

If she could just finish the scarf. That’s all she had to do, finish the scarf. And after that… if he rejected her scarf and her feelings along with it… at least she’d know. 

At a very specific spot near the end of the alley she had been walking down, she stopped abruptly, and opened up the bag she had been carrying, slung over her shoulders. Almost immediately, the sound of her zipping bag was greeted by a loud meowing sound, followed by several barks. Smiling, she greeted the strays that came out of the shadows with a warm, welcoming smile, and, after a series of strokes, rubs, and pets, she pulled out the food she had prepared for them. 

“Enjoy your meal. Sorry that I can’t stay, I’m in a bit of a hurry,” she whispered to them as, after several appreciative nudges, the animals dug in. She had brought many of them back to the Hyuuga compound, gave them to relatives to take care of, or else went around with Sakura and Ino and distributed strays for people who had lost someone during the war, for them to find companionship while finding the pets a safe and happy home. 

At the moment, though, these strays would have to wait patiently, fed and healed by Hinata, or else by Hanabi if she was unavailable. She patted a cat that was missing half a tail, the son of one cat she had regularly taken care of back in her Academy days, and continued on her path, her hand stroking the extra red yarn she had purchased a few hours ago that was left in her bag before closing it, and holding the bag tighter, a bit of giddiness settling within her chest. A part of her wanted to skip with excitement at the prospect of continuing work on the scarf after coming back home, but after peering from side to side at the open windows of the houses around her, she decided against that. 

Instead, she finished the last stretch to the Academy with as much dignity as she could muster despite already wanting to run back home and continue work on the scarf. Greeting the people at the gate, she stepped into the building, smiling and waving at the many people she crossed paths with along the corridors as she headed to the correct classroom. Another duty that she had taken upon herself was assisting in supplementary classes held for students with particular difficulties, which would often take place after regular class ended. 

It also helped that along the way, she could visit the classroom where she knew Iruka taught Naruto, and where she would be able to slip that day’s Message (or Note, or whatever they were called) under the desk that he still occupied, despite having left the Academy just over seven years ago. 

Humming slightly to herself, she pushed the doors open to Iruka’s classroom, opening her bag again to pull out that day's message, when a voice that was a little too familiar stopped her in her tracks. 

“Hinata! You’re here?” 

Stopping her tune immediately, she did her best to suppress the blush that threatened to colour her cheeks as she quickly fumbled with her bag and zipped it up again, completely, as though afraid that Naruto would charge her down and steal her bag to search it. What was he doing here? His own classes usually started somewhat later. 

“N-Naruto-kun!” she managed to exclaim, and, in a move done to hide what she was going to do that incriminated her even more, she moved the bag to hide it behind herself. “Wh-what a wonderful surprise!” 

He grinned at her, and her heart seemed to jump up and down inside of here. 

“Yeah! I came extra early today to talk to Iruka-sensei about something, ya know! Apparently, they want me to teach some classes to the Academy students! Insane, right?” 

“Oh no, that’s wonderful!” Beaming, she walked over to the teacher’s desk, fiddling with the items on there to create an excuse for coming into this particular classroom at a time when he wasn’t supposed to be there. “What will you teach them?” 

“Oh, a bit o’ this, a bit o’that. 100% ass kicking, though, ya know.” He winked at her, and she practically had to use chakra to hold back her blush. “So, you have those supplementary classes you’re teaching, right?” 

She nodded, and, banging the bottom of a thick stack of tests on the podium so as to straighten it, part of her elaborate scheme to seem natural, her fingers curled around her bag, fighting off the sudden and inexplicable urge to either rip out the yarn or the Message in front of him. 

Naruto continued with his inquiries. “So, will you be here? I usually come a bit later, ya know, so we don’t usually bump into each other. But now that our timings have matched, could I watch?” 

Taking a small step back in surprise, she gaped at him. They had spent more time together, and had trained quite a few times, but this was different. She would be the active component in this activity, while he was passive, something which almost never happened unless the activity was reading. 

“But… I thought you had Iruka-sensei to talk to?” 

“Ah, whatever, those midgets will probably be impressed by whatever I do anyways. I’m sure I can do without a briefing. Besides, I’ve been hearing great stuff about ‘Hinata-sensei.’ You’re so good at explaining things to me when we’re alone, so I’m kinda interested to see how you tackle a classroom full of kids, ya know.” He finished with a chuckle, while she shuffled her feet, slightly abashed by his choice of words. 

_When we’re alone…_

“It’s not really a classroom worth, though. Just a few of the kids who are struggling, mostly those who don’t come from clans or legacy ninja houses, where they would get extra training. There’s usually only a few people, but they’re quite passionate, they’re a bit like—” 

“Me?” he interjected, grinning. She was sure that he was remembering the many times she had let slip that part of him that she admired so much about him. 

“Yeah, people like you.” 

“Well, great for them! I wish I had a teacher like you when I was at the Academy!” 

“Shh, Iruka-sensei might hear you,” she warned, though it was with a rather playful expression that she delivered her line, a quality which proved easier to obtain and develop when around a ball of goofiness and excitement like Naruto. 

“Ah, Iruka-sensei is the best! But I do wish that I had more one-on-one work back then. You know, everyone got personal training from family, and I, well…” he trailed off, looking a bit awkward, but then jumped up again in excitement. “Though, I did have my guardian angel! Those Notes were a life saver.” 

Hinata experienced a strong pang in her chest, and the bad that she was now holding incredibly tightly seemed to vibrate, but she merely nodded, and replied, “Whoever it was must have really wanted to help you out.” 

“Ah, I’ll find out who it was — and who it is — eventually. Speaking of which… Time to check the mail!” 

Naruto seemed to literally jump down the stairs to the row with his desk, and he looked up at her, grinning. She giggled, before realising, with a sense of horror, that there was no daily Message under his desk to check.

But she could do little more than watch as he walked over his desk and stuck his hand in the shelf under it, pulling out a little slip of crudely cut out paper that had been his reply, to her previous Message, one that she hadn’t been able to collect and read yet. Naruto’s smile immediately turned into a slight frown as he stared down at the paper, seemingly confused to see his own handwriting on the paper instead of the usual, orange ink he was so accustomed to. 

“Huh,” he said finally, after what seemed like an eternity, during which Hinata was convinced her heartbeat would have created an earthquake. “It didn’t arrive yet.” 

“Well, I-I guess even guardian angels need a day off sometimes,” she commented tentatively, desperate to find a way to ease her awkwardness as Naruto stuck his hand into the shelf once again, wiggling it around to see if he had missed anything. 

“I guess,” he mumbled, pulling out his hand from under the desk in apparent defeat, disappointment etched in his face as he replaced his own Message back into the shelf before looking back at her, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her, though not nearly as bright as moments before. “So, can I watch? Since I don’t have any guidance for today?” 

She fidgeted with the straps of the bag containing both the yarn for his scarf and the Message, and nodded reluctantly, unwilling to continue to trick and lie to him but unable to find a way out.

This did not seem like the best time to reveal the secret she had been hiding for years, she thought. _I’ll tell him… I’ll tell him alongside the scarf. I’ll tell him everything!_

And with that promise drawn into her heart, she said, “Come with me then, you’ll be my assistant!” 

They made their way from the classroom in relative silence, Naruto bouncing on his heels, though clearly still a bit dejected from the day’s lack of a Message. 

“Hey, by the way, why did you drop by my classroom?” Naruto asked after a while. Hinata almost froze, but managed to force herself to keep walking, trying her best to keep her gentle smile from faltering. “Isn’t your classroom upstairs? The stairs aren’t exactly on the way, ya know.” 

_And they say he isn’t observant,_ Hinata thought, half in amusement, half in agitation. _He’ll notice the difference in the amount of noodles in his ramen compared to the previous bowl, he’ll notice the painful histories of those he fights, and he’ll notice where I teach despite us rarely bumping into each other, but he won’t notice when he’s put on his shirts backwards or, or my…_

“Oh, I just felt like… I came a bit early today myself, so I wanted to check the place you were studying in. You know, our old classroom,” she invents wildly, her voice growing steadily softer and less certain. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but she still didn’t like not being honest with him. Remembering that he could somehow always tell how she really felt through eye contact alone (was it the product of his Sage training? His Bijuu chakra, maybe?), she kept her gaze fixed ahead of her, keeping a cheerful tone as she walked at his side. 

“I know what you mean! Strange to think that we used to be midgets sitting behind those desks once.” He bought it completely, though he did shoot her a concerned look, as though he noticed that there was something odd in her behaviour. “Though, you’re still really short, aren’t you?” he added thoughtfully. 

“I… Well, I think that ‘still’ is an interesting word for you to use, Naruto-kun,” she defends, glad that they were changing the subject. “We were the same height back then, weren’t we? I might have been a bit taller, even.” 

He shrugged. “Yeah, but I was puny. Real tiny.” 

Hinata giggled. “As I remember, you used to get so angry if anyone called you short.” 

“Ah, well, I was a terrible kid, ya know.” Grinning at her, he swelled up his chest, pausing in front of the stairwell as he looked at her with a gleaming look in his eyes. “I’m a man, now! I don’t have time to be whiny, or be short!”

“Yes, but you have time to argue with Ayame-san whenever she doesn’t pour you ‘enough’ soup for your bowls.” 

Laughing, Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, there, at the foot of the stairs, she couldn’t help but notice his eyes dart back down the corridor towards his classroom a couple of times. She gripped her bag tighter, and, after a couple more guilty twinges in her heart, gestured for the stairs. 

“It’s strange though,” Naruto noted as they trudged up the stairs that would take them to Hinata’s usual classroom. “Their Notes are usually there when I arrive. Is it because I came earlier today? Did they not have any time? That’s a bit odd.” 

_Oh please no._

He looked up at the ceiling, lost in the thoughts that he was airing out loud, a finger scratching at his chin as Hinata squirmed as she walked, desperately looking for a way to redirect his thoughts. Despite what everyone usually said, Hinata always knew Naruto to be very clever when he needed to be, capable of working things out on the spot. 

“Does this mean that they usually drop off the Note around this time? Right before I come in?” Naruto pondered. 

_Oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no._

It was dangerous. 

Very dangerous. 

But even as she tried to speed up her escape up the stairs, he slowed down, his eyes widening, his excitement palpable. 

“My class is supposed to start soon,” he said slowly, processing it, the gears turning in his head, clear to see as though his skull was transparent. “Which means that the Note might get delivered soon.” 

“Or your, uh, guardian angel might be sick and indisposed,” she tried desperately to stave him off, but to no avail. It was unlikely that he was listening to her at this point as what seemed to be years of built-up anticipation overwhelmed her at this sudden prospect. 

“Does this mean that the guardian angel could be here right now?” he almost shouted, excitement lighting up his eyes as though he was moments away from shooting flames with his vision. He stopped abruptly, grabbing Hinata by the arm and lightly pulling her around so that he could grab her by the shoulders, bringing her to face him directly. His grip was firm, surprisingly gentle considering , but his look was so intense that she couldn’t pull her eyes away from it.

The beating of her heart caused vibrations to shake through her entire body as the proximity made her body nearly go into emergency mode. Chakra and blood alike erupted in their flow as her palms charged with deadly power and her face was flooded in scarlet. But the sight of his brilliant eyes, so filled with that pure, unadulterated elation completely dismantled her fight-or-flight responses that had been honed so carefully through years of training and hard work, and suddenly, her emergency mode failed her, the sirens screaming in her head as she stiffened into a statue, helpless in his hands. 

“Do you think that I can meet them?” he nearly yelled at her, jubilation clearly coursing through his body.

Things were not going according to keikaku.  
______________________________________________________________________________

Excitement and giddiness erupted in him with the violent force of a volcano as he was so suddenly hit with the realisation that today could be the day. He had never been this close, never thought that he had any real leads to meeting or learning about his guardian angel. But now, now that he had a solid lead that there was a more than zero chance that they were delivering the Notes right before his own Hokage classes, meant that there was now a more than zero chance for him to catch them in the act. 

He was shaking. His heart was racing. In his glee at this suddenly promising situation, he grabbed Hinata, eager to share this new revelation with her, eager to share this information with the first person he had ever told about his mysterious guardian angel. 

Caught in the adrenaline rush, he blindly gripped her arms, let go, then gave her an exhilarated hug, squeezing her before letting go and grabbing her hand, practically launching off from the top of the stairs where they stopped, pulling Hinata from her rooted position as she yelped in protest. 

“Come one!” he shouted, tumbling down the stairs, clutching her hand, “they might be coming at any moment! We can wait them out in the classroom! We can—” 

“Wait!” 

The voice, one usually so sweet and gentle, now filled with distress, cut through him as cleanly as a katana, and disrupted the chaotic, overwhelming energy that was taking control of him.  
He stopped, turning to face Hinata, who was panting, red faced, and looking quite upset. Her clear eyes were pleading with him to stop, and he realised, with a chill, that he was gripping her hand with the tightness of a vice. He let go of her, as though he had been burned, and he suddenly realised that he had practically manhandled her in his excitement. 

“H-Hinata, sorry!” he said quickly, eyes widening in horror as he thought back to the way he had essentially grabbed her arms. He must have been crushing them. 

The excited energy that had blasted through him, unable to disappear so sudden, transformed into panic as his mind wildly whirled in its attempt to justify why Hinata looked so terrified at that moment. The conclusion that he arrived to made immense guilt burn through him rather than the delight at getting so close to catching his mysterious angel. 

“I… I’m really…” he stammered, even as her eyes widened and she shook her head as though rejecting his apology, but before he could do much, a shriek sounded from behind. 

“Naruto-senpai!” came the yelp of several students who had just rounded the corner, the remedial students Hinata was in charge of, and they came at him, swarming him with admiring looks and exclamations of delight. 

“You’re here!” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Naruto-senpai!” 

“Show us some moves!” 

“Can you sign my kunai?” 

“Naruto-senpai!” 

He desperately tried to hold them back, his face falling into his practiced awkward grin as he laughed off their compliments and requests, but by the time they quietened down and contented themselves with simply staring at him in awe, Hinata was gone. 

He assumed that she took the distraction as an opportunity to slip back upstairs to avoid the awkward conversation of how he had grabbed and squeezed her so violently. He didn’t blame her. 

By the time the students had left him to go to Hinata, he had lost the desire to watch her at work. Bitterly, he thought about the tender but motivated and willful care she directed on anything she set her mind to, and felt an unexplainable stab of a feeling he associated with watching Sasuke succeeding back as a genin as he thought of the access those students had to her. Why did they get to learn from her? 

Getting ready for his class with Iruka, he returned to his classroom, dejected and miserable over his rough treatment of Hinata, all while keeping an eye out for anyone trying to sneak into the classroom in order to sneak in a Note. 

No one ever came, except for Iruka at the usual time. 

But when he absentmindedly felt the shelf under his desk, it was to his surprise to find a bit of paper seemingly larger than the one he had left in it, and, once class ended and Iruka had left, discovered it to be adorned with that beautiful orange writing again.  
______________________________________________________________________________

A feeling of warmth that he associated with sunflowers, lavender, and ramen spread through him as he looked down at the package Konohamaru had just shown him. He gripped a little tighter at the soft material, feeling the stitches and the string as he examined the scarf closer. The stripes of colours, the white and dull green, seemed to him like they were gold and silver. 

He brought it up to his face, burying his face in it as a burst of sorrow cut through him, and under the comfort of the scarf, felt calm.

_My mother’s…_

Folding it up, he walked over to the box that he kept in the corner of his room, the one where he kept all of his important keepsakes. Now that another year had passed since the war, he had managed to include more stuff in it, more pictures of friends, more objects found that had a connection with his clan or parents. Pulling out that day’s Note from his pocket, he read through it again with a small smile, then added it to the growing pile, running a thumb across the careful orange strokes and the tidy characters that were only the latest in the guardian angel’s neverending guidance. Then, he lowered the scarf into the box as well, but paused, contemplating. 

He never really needed a scarf, considering his Uzumaki chakra and Kurama’s powers, and this winter was especially warm. But this wasn’t just a regular scarf. It was the representation of his mother’s love, and that made it something that he wanted to keep close to him, at least for the time being. 

_She must have worked really hard. Everyone tells me about how impatient she’s always been. That she managed to sit down and knit this whole thing, is just… Anyone who would spend this much effort and time on anything for someone is just so…._

He didn’t know what to do with the surge of emotion threatening to overtake him. This was far different from the excitement that had overwhelmed him a few days ago. The feelings emerging in his heart were more subtle, more powerful, as he contemplated the scarf, and what it meant. It was something deep, something intense, something he didn’t fully recognise, didn’t comprehend, but felt like it would make him explode, a feeling that he had felt a few times before, during quiet training sessions and visits to Ichiraku, a feeling spawned by the person who had slapped him to his senses during the war.

He didn’t know what it was, but knew what it meant. Comfort. Warmth. Peace. 

The thought of Hinata made him bite his tongue nervously. In the few days since their encounter at the Academy, he had avoided her, or else acted awkward and distant. She seemed distracted, as though she too was haunted by his violent behaviour, and he wanted nothing more than to apologise, but they always seemed to be surrounded by people. 

Wrapping the scarf around himself, he walked up to the window, and looked up at the moon. Scowling at how it seemed to shine brighter than usual tonight, he fingered the soft fabric of his mother’s work, unaffected by the years that it sat in the Sandaime’s boxes. 

He would make it right, he knew he would. 

No matter how awkwardly he’d have to act around her, or how much he’d have to bumble and ramble until he got it right, he swore to communicate his feelings of deepest guilt to her. And that was a promise. 

He sighed. 

_I just wish that there weren’t so many people around all the time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't get the "according to keikaku" reference, I urge you to read [Hiashi's Master Plan](https://imgur.com/a/gc6Cc#yae2aoN). It's honestly the best fan depiction of Hiashi ever. 
> 
> So, this chapter didn't have anything overly massive, but I felt like it was necessary set up. Did it feel messy and all over the place? I don't think it does, but I may be wrong. 
> 
> Next chapter's a big one. Brace yourselves. I also added an extra chapter to the story overall because, well, you'll see.


	24. Extra V: A Winter Stroll

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right! I'm so sorry that there has been such a huge delay in uploads! I've been so busy with stuff, plus my annual Doctor Who addiction has kicked in... anyways, the next actual chapter is taking forever to write, so please, in the mean time, accept this small filler. I promise the next chapter should be up relatively soon!

“What are you smiling about?” 

“Oh, nothing.” 

“Seriously, what is it?” 

The crunch of the snow beneath their boots was the only noise that penetrated the tranquil silence of the forest as they slowly made their way back home. It had been an exhausting four months, dealing with skirmishes and self-proclaimed war-lords along the Land of Fire border — part of the scars left behind by the war over a year ago — and had it not been for his healing abilities, Naruto was sure that he’d be crawling back to the village. The criminal syndicate they had been meant to take down had spilled over into an international crisis, and even if it weren’t for the fighting, the sheer stress and exhaustion would have probably done him in. 

Hinata wasn’t so fortunate, though. Between the negotiating, investigating, fighting, and searching, they hadn’t had much chance for respite, or heal from the neverending fighting that slowly wore them down. He had suggested that she stay behind and recover for a week, but she had adamantly refused. 

He didn’t know whether to be proud, amused, or exasperated and angry. 

What he really felt at the moment, though, walking upon the soft, glistening snow and under the expansive, soft greyish sky through which only the most delicate sun rays passed, was contentment. It was comfort and joy that was very different from the short lived but explosive arrogant pride he felt at the completion of every mission. This was surprising, considering that they were forced to walk relatively slowly on the ground, her leaning on him slightly as she favoured her still unhealed leg. She had refused to allow him to carry her bags and equipment. By all indications, she should have looked frustrated or annoyed. 

Her situation did not match the radiant, peaceful smile that seemed to adorned her face and make everything in a five meter radius be so much warmer despite the winter cold. And much more than that, it made his eyes keep shifting back and forth from the lazy snowflakes that slowly fell from above and peppered her fair like stars in the inky night sky to the glow of that smile. 

He wondered if she was thinking about her pen pal, the one she mentioned at the campfire a few months ago. He did not like that thought. 

But it made little difference; under the light of that smile, he found it difficult to maintain such negativity, as though the gentle happiness that spilled out of her was purifying his mind and soul. 

“What’re you smiling about?” he asked yet again, though without any expectations for a real answer. 

“Nothing,” she sighed happily, even as he sensed a small shudder of pain from her hurt leg and felt her lean closer to him. He gulped. 

“Come on, you can tell me, ya know. With the cold and your leg and your bags and all that, there’s gotta be something good that you’re thinking of,” he tried again eagerly. 

“Oh, I don’t know, I don’t really feel cold at all,” she replied airily, and yet Naruto couldn’t find it in himself to feel too frustrated. As a matter of fact, the grin on his face simply widened. 

“ Come on, Hinata! Please? I wanna know what’s making you so happy, cause maybe it’ll make me that happy too, ya know!” 

“Oh, you know… the snow.” 

“The snow?” 

And so Naruto looked around. The mighty evergreens that stoically stood up above the sea of snow like islands lacked the lush, vibrant green that he was so accustomed to, but with the snow caught between branches by the thick groupings of their needle-like leaves, the trees had their own soothing, quiet charm. Peaceful and quiet, he heard no screeches from birds, nor the distant sounds of the bustling of people, or the scurrying of animals against the grass, the bark. Glittering against the sugary snow, the warmth of the sun, diluted by the grey clouds, was not as overbearing as it had been at the border, but comfortable and cosy. After the months of dirty streets, dogging traps and painstakingly looking for clues and angles of diplomatic approaches to reconciling two enemies, he couldn’t help but want to sink into the expanse of shimmering snow and relax for a very long time. 

He was surrounded by beauty, the entire scenery as though painted around him by a divine artist, begging to be looked at in awe. 

He turned his sight back on Hinata’s smile. 

“No really, what is it?” 

She gave a contented sigh, and, instead of answering him, looked up at him with her relaxed, soft eyes and asked, “Well, why are you smiling?” 

_Well, you’re smiling, so I’m smiling, of course!_

“Oh, you know… the snow.” 

Giggling at his response, she stopped, forcing him to stop in his tracks as well. With the sound of their steps gone, Naruto couldn’t help but think about just how much it felt like they were the only ones to exist in the world, wrapped in comfortable silence and surrounded by the modest yet pristine beauty of nature. He watched with curiosity and concern as she started to hobble away from him, not forward, but to her left, yet something stopped him from going after her. He almost sprung forward, thinking that she fell over, only to realise that she was kneeling down, wincing slightly as she carefully lowered her body while keeping her injured leg in mind. 

What was she looking at?

Bam!

In a flash, as though she had never so much as experienced a single injury in her life, she shot upwards, whirled around, and threw a snowball at his face. Dulled into a deep sense of comfort by the snowy winter wonderland surrounding them, his ninja reflexes only just managed to kick in to avoid a direct strike as most of the right side of his face got splattered in snow. Yet his battle senses kicked back into action almost immediately as he ducked a second and third snowball Hinata had fired forward. Yelping, he rolled over, coming up while throwing a volley of snowballs at Hinata’s retreating back. She deftly dodged them all without a backwards glance, the slight hum audible over her laughter clear indication that she was temporarily using her chakra to protect her leg so as to prevent the injury from getting worse. 

He smiled at this revelation. He didn’t have to hold back. 

“Prepare yourself, Hyuuga Hinata!” he roared as he scooped up more snowballs while spinning to avoid one of his opponent’s. “I’m coming at you with everything I got!” 

He charged, full of laughter and confidence, using the mechanisms for Rasengan to form the snow in his hands into perfect spheres. She was going down. 

How was he to know that the Gentle Fist could be used so effectively for snowball fights?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know when you've been dating someone in secret and they had the wonderful idea of using little notes to communicate?

**Author's Note:**

> Does this fic warrant an 'M' rating now? For language and violence? I'm not sure where the boundaries lie.


End file.
